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Portrait mode came THROUGH

Our final senior wisdom of the year is from Rachel Deal: EIC in late spring and fall 2016, queen veggie, conqueror of the Columbia double, Dunkin Donuts super-fan, and so much more.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Rachel Deal, Columbia College, Middle Eastern, South Asian, and African Studies, Medford, MA

Claim to fame: Running this damn website.

Where are you going? To run the Brooklyn Half next Saturday!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Believe and support survivors! Stop socializing with known abusers!

2. In picking housing, prioritize sunlight over social life.

3. There are a lot of people at this school who lack morals! This used to bother me a lot, but I’ve found it best to accept that you cannot change others, and that there are way too many people here for you to hang out with the bad ones.

4. One more! Broadway au Lait has the best iced coffee in MoHi.

But wait, there’s more

May

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How we feel about Ross graduating

Ross Chapman spent three years as Bwog’s Sports Editor, which, because this is Bwog, meant he spent three years as Bwog’s entire sports section. We will miss him for his intense basketball statistics, his weird memes, and his big, big heart.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Ross Chapman, Columbia College, Music, West Windsor, NJ

Claim to Fame: I yelled at all of you from Butler Library for the inaugural outdoor Orgo Night with the Marching Band. I probably gave you a backrub at some point through Stressbusters. If you’re really special, then you know me as the former president of the Wind Ensemble. And I’ve written about 200 articles for Bwog, the website you are currently on!

Where are you Going?: I’m heading up to Northampton, MA for a year to live with my girlfriend as she finishes college. Then I’m headed to [REDACTED]’s JD program to become the law.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Take it easy in any way you can. Between your jobs, your clubs, your classes, and your social links, you’ll have to split a lot of energy, and you only have so much. Sleep as much as you can, and admit that you are not one of the 3% of people who can get by on 6 hours per night. Don’t take more classes than you need to graduate unless you absolutely love them. Don’t give your time to clubs that aren’t giving you anything in return. Go get dinner with a friend instead of claiming you “need to study” while you stare at a wall for an hour. This University seeps enough fun and energy out of you, so make sure you do what you can to make your time here enjoyable.

No, he’s not done talking about Orgo Night

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Friday Daily Editor Idris O’Neill was recently awarded Bwog’s “Most Virginal” award, a condition probably attributed to the fact that there are at least a few people out there she missed her shot with. She apologizes for the late notice but let’s try again in four months, okay?

To all the people I didn’t hook up with:

I’m writing this in the back of an Uber, looking at Barnard shrink in the rearview mirror. As I pass all the bars I never went to, the restaurants I didn’t eat at, the missed opportunity of going above 125th because it’s not gentrified yet, there’s one thing I regret not doing that won’t leave my thoughts: you.

I remember every flirt, hands touching hands, every time I did that laugh that was like “you’re not that funny but I’m trying to fuck,” every exchange of smirks, the many, many conversations over drinks you bought and of course, me leaving. That was always the best feeling, having you waste your time trying to get it in with me and the power of me saying, “I think I’m actually just going to go to bed.” It was so gratifying that I wrote my final anthropology paper on it.

I miss you. I thought I should be candid about, just say what I really want to say instead of waste more time playing this game of me pretending this is going somewhere, like your bed. I did want our almost-hook up. The truth is the attraction was there, but there is no single person I’m so attracted to I’d lose sleep over it. Let’s do this all over again at, like, noon or late afternoon. I’m not picky; I just don’t think last call at 1020 at 4 am is going to cut it.

There’s still hope for you. In this new school year, when I’m a completely different person because I ate-prayed-loved myself into an enlightened, casually sexual being in Indonesia, I’d like to see you again. I hope you keep me in your thoughts in our time apart, that you learn and grow from it. Maybe you’ll tell better jokes, buy more drinks, and ultimately become the type of person I would lose sleep over. See you soon.

what is the context for this picture via Pxhere

May

11

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Hidden in the halls of Reid – a legit palace.

I feel like I shouldn’t even be writing this article. “But the people deserve to know!”, you say, and I begrudgingly agree.

Here at Bwog, we’re really passionate about the best bathrooms at this school. From our series “Poopin’ in Pupin” to our love letters, we’re determined to bring you the optimal places on campus to cry, procrastinate, or, like, do what you normally do in bathrooms. But I’ve noticed one that has been egregiously kept out of the conversation: The Reid first floor bathroom.

I’ve probably already lost a lot of you. Barnard dorms aren’t super well known as it is, and Reid is one of the least talked about, often being eclipsed by its air-conditioned hallway partner Sulz/Reid. But Reid proper does exist, and in its “lobby” one can find Well Woman and be a well woman (or anyone else) by locating the single stall toilet that is truly the best and most underrated bathroom at both Barnard and Columbia.

So why is it so amazing?

May

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Megan, post-thesis

It’s not often that we have seniors join Bwog as new staff writers, let alone stick around for the whole year and write some of the funniest posts ever to grace this site. But Megan Wylie is here to prove that it can and should be done, and to give some of the best practical advice we’ve seen this semester.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Megan Wylie, Barnard, History and Political Science, New York, NY

Claim to fame: Getting rejected from WBAR in an email stating they accepted 87% of applicants and being a last minute undergradical

Where are you going? Nowhere (sorry guys). I’ll be ‘finding’ myself this summer, interning at a lobbying firm this fall and eventually ending up at law school

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Get to 1020 early so you can score the couch with peak visibility of the door. Furthermore, don’t bother going to any bar that doesn’t have a woman reading medieval literature guarding the door.

Math, Mels, and more after the jump

May

11

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Remember: college is a marathon, not a sprint

Bwogline: A livery cab crashed into a New York deli, reportedly causing a total of six hospitalizations,, three of which with serious but non-threatening injuries. In this yellow cab town, you never know what to expect, but this is why we take Uber, guys. (CBS)

Study Tip: Today is the last day of finals! If you’re still revising an essay, throw a semicolon (it’s this one “;”) in there for good measure. If you’re still studying, let it go.

Music: In celebration of your leaving this place, listen to some Jorja Smith to temper all the anxiety and stress of finals season and focus on going home.

Procrastination Tip: You don’t need to procrastinate on your final day. Power through and you’re good. If you really need a break, finally take the shower you’ve been putting off or eat a full meal – anything that will take you away from work for an hour. Trust me, you need this.

Overheard: “I already threw away my notes and stuff. Don’t even ask me what 2+2 is.”

the finish line via Pixabay

May

11

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“I’ve only known these people for two semesters, but…”

In the past two semesters as Managing Editor and EIC, Betsy Ladyzhets has learned one very important thing: she would die for any and all of the Bwog first years. Here’s why.

Zack: Zack’s superlative for this semester was “human Bwoglines,” which is incredibly accurate because, like Bwoglines, he is filled of knowledge that I never knew I wanted but, once I have acquired it, suddenly cannot live without. A detailed description of why Black Panther probably won’t get too many Oscars? A bot that randomizes and imitates Bwog’s twitter? A desktop app that will tell me exactly how many people are in each Columbia library at any given time? Yes, these things all came from one human brain. All this and more.

Jenny: I have honestly lost count of the number of times Jenny has Stepped Up(TM) this year, especially this past semester. She’ll tackle multiple investigative pieces at once, offer to fill in dailying in a heartbeat, write up a breaking news post when nobody else is free… tl;dr she is the wind beneath my wings. Also, I’m still not over that one time she met Steve Buscemi.

Thomas: Thomas is a quiet, comforting presence at weekly meetings. Whenever the discussions get too high-energy, I look to the back and find him, perched on a blue armchair, listening intently. I see that this Bwog meeting is only a spec of dust in the vast universe of life, and if we get distracted for a moment, well, we get distracted for a moment. I return.

more love after the jump

May

10

You’re probably going to regret your oral sex vs cheese answer in 5 years and ask us to take it down anyway.

Daily editor and lapsed black belt Isabel Sepúlveda has loved Columbia during her first year, but nothing is perfect. And since she’s stopping practicing Tae Kwon Do for the time being, she’s using her new favorite outlet for venting her frustration at minor inconveniences: Bwog!

As every semester comes to a close, we here at Bwog take the time to turn to our graduating seniors and ask them to offer their wisdom to current and future generations of Columbia students. It’s a time-honored tradition and stands alongside housing coverage or anytime readers want to question our journalistic integrity as one of our most popular.  Everyone is clamoring to see themselves and their friends answer the oral sex or cheese question and ask us to pour one out for Cannon’s one last time.

But, for better or for worse, we don’t have enough time to give every senior who has blessed Morningside Heights with their presence and tuition dollars, leading us to open a nomination process in the weeks leading up to the end of the semester. Especially in the spring, this helps us filter through all of our amazing seniors to find the 40 or so we feature at the end of every year.

It’s a process and by the time we post all these cheese puns, all the decisions are made. So that’s why I’m asking you to please step away from that email you’re currently writing to tips@bwog.com telling us that we absolutely have to feature the wisdom of your best friend or your sophomore year RA. We understand that they’re important to you, in some way, and most of the time we love it when you email us. But also, my sanity is important to me so I’m asking you kindly to delete the draft and go back to procrastinate packing/unpacking/napping some other way.

More of me literally begging you to stop below.

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As the school year comes to a close, so does this series of screenshots from the Class of 2022 GroupMe. We hope y’all enjoyed it while it lasted, and Class of 2022, we’ll see you on campus next year!

Dude, that’s so meta:

Prospies take exams, too! Dare I say, they’re just like us:

But between exams, they watched some movies too:

May 1 was decision day, so that meant more wholesome content™ in the GroupMe:

 

 

May

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Bold beautiful smile, perfect for a bold beautiful senior

Our last senior wisdom is courtesy of former Bwog Deputy Editor Lili Brown who takes us back to a simpler time of mom jeans and clogs and reminds us that your GPA isn’t what matters; it’s the friends you’ve made along the way.

Name, school, major, hometown: Lili Brown, Barnard, History with Gender & Sexuality concentration, Atlanta, GA

Claim to fame: I was your or your roommate’s Barnard tour guide, or I was your or your roommate’s AllSex facilitator, or you tried to shush me as my laugh emanated through LeFrak (which is a CHAT ZONE). I also was a bad journalist and written erotica vigilante during my brief tenure as a Deputy Editor of Bwog (it’s so good to be back you guys!). And finally, I am an unexpected senior night regular, and I’m one of the four to five women who come really early and demand that you give us as much room on the dance floor as that which we started the night with. I am still so, so sorry to the girl whose drink I knocked out of her hands while really getting down to Work.

Where are you going? The day after move-out for seniors I’m jetting off to Amsterdam, Berlin, and Paris with a good Barnard pal and I’ll finally get to say I’ve been to Europe, which seems like something that way more people than I expected have just done at some point in their young lives already (send us affordable recs!). Upon our return, I’m moving to Brooklyn and doing a series of part-time gigs, one of which includes being an archivist at a Yiddish archive downtown!

What are three things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. No one at this school is exactly like you. Just because we all got into this super insular or niche or small type of community does not mean we all want the same out of it, and sometimes this can make you really clash with people in different ways and in different magnitudes. If you come here looking for uncanny similarity — be it academically, socially, emotionally, etc — you will be disappointed. This took me so, so long to learn, and it was something I stopped trying to look for too late in the game. I’ve spent chunks of time here with genuinely lovely people, who, to be honest, were not my matches and I changed myself significantly in order to convince myself I wanted the same thing from college that they did. And I don’t regret that at all — phases in college academically, socially, or emotionally are so totally ok and part of the whole sha-bang of this thing. But each change was hard, especially because it took time for me to recognize that the people I was surrounding myself with didn’t want the same things I did; identifying what I want or what other people want is…difficult! It will amaze you how easily or slowly people come in and out of your life during these four years. A lot of relationships here are dependent on things completely outside of your control because we cannot possibly know what each person at this school is going through. With that said, come prepared to be utterly disappointed and completely inspired by the people you’ll encounter here.

More eloquent advice and a trip down memory lane.

May

10

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A big pile o’ taxes

Today’s Bwog Finance column meshes a traditional Back Of The Envelope article with our novel Bwog Finance series. We’re going to give you a rough estimate of how to know how much money you’ll *actually* make this summer after taxes are deducted from every paycheck, and how much of a return you *might* get. Remember to send column topics to finance@bwog.com.

Writing this column wasn’t my idea, but I’m gonna give it my best shot: how to know how much taxes will be deducted from your paychecks, and how much $$ you might get back come spring 2019, using basic math and some help from the internet.

Let’s say you make $15/hour and you work 30 hours a week. That’s $450/week. Woohoo!

Let’s say there are 4 weeks in a month (even though for some months, it might be less!). 4 x $450 is $1,800. LIT. That’s just enough for one half of a studio apartment in SoHo. But wait…

If you make $5,400 for the whole summer (3 months x $1,800), according to smartasset.com, because of FICA, you will owe $413 in taxes. FICA, or the Federal Insurance Contributions Act, goes toward social security and Medicare, which Trump hasn’t managed to get rid of (yet).

You’ll also have $30 withheld each month for federal taxes. You might also have money withheld for New York State taxes, to cover things like NY’s new “Paid Maternity Leave.” But you should get those taxes refunded next spring…

Unless you make more money during the year! This calculation isn’t counting taxes you might owe based on other income you earn throughout the year. So…you may need to re-evaluate that 1/2 of a studio apartment in SoHo and go for something a little closer to MoHi, or else venture into Brooklyn or Queens.

The point is, what you expect to make this summer might end up being a lot less than you thought! Unless you have an under-the-table gig, like babysitting.

Does this apply to things like grants? Yep. If you get a grant from the school, that’s still taxable income. What about stipends? That too.

If this newfound tax knowledge changes your summer plans, have no fear. We’ve composed an easy guide to creating a summer budget.

Good luck!

Photo By 401(K) 2012, via Wikimedia Commons

May

10

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Gloriana would sell her soul to the marching band

Need someone to cheer you on when you’re destined to fail? Gloriana has some experience in that field and more in this Senior Wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Gloriana Lopez, Columbia College, Anthropology, San José, Costa Rica.

Claim to fame: #1 fan of Columbia athletes (but not athletics), former Bwog sports adjacent ™ , token Latin American international student of CUMB, that Orgo Night script reader who couldn’t turn pages, “that girl who plays the drums and is super loud”- Columbia Men’s Basketball, former Civil Engineer who decided to obliterate her job prospects by switching to Anthropology.

Where are you going? Back home :( . I’ll try to be an adult, get a job, apply to grad school, all that fun stuff.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?
I would like to quote my friend Evan who once said: “There are three things I have learned from Gloriana: 1. Always be yourself, 2. You can never be too enthusiastic and 3. If life gets too hard, you can always transfer to CC”.

Allow me to elaborate on these:

1. You do you. This means you should pick classes you are excited about (although sometimes that is hard), and find your people (which is also kind of hard here). Don’t worry about what other people are doing if you are happy with what you are doing, whether it is taking 6 classes and being in 23 organizations or taking 3 classes and never leaving your room. Have fun and take advantage of what this city and this school have to offer in a way that makes you happy.

It’s time for reflection

May

10

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Her lipstick (and everything else about her) is amazing

The rest of our senior wisdoms are coming from Bwoggers, current and former. To kick things off, we have Bwog’s director of communications, Gabbie Lipson, who wants to dispense from tough love and remind us all that we’re our own best advocate.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Gabbie Lipson, Barnard College, Psychology, Phoenix, Arizona

Claim to fame: I wrote Bwog’s apologies for the last 4 years as their Director of Communications. Got carpal tunnel for knitting during all of the NSOP activities I had to go to as an OL. I think I’m known for a few other
things but those get filed under infamous so we’ll just go with the above…

Where are you going? On a grand adventure! No, seriously, I’m still working out my plans but looking forward to seeing where life takes me. Though it will probably have something to do with studying babies. But if anyone reading this wants to hire me, I wouldn’t be opposed!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. You are your own best advocate.
There are nearly 11,000 undergraduates at Columbia University (that includes SEAS, GS and Barnard, don’t get snippy with me, I’m making a point). We come to this school and operate under the expectation that every administrator, professor, and fellow student has our own best interests at heart. And in theory they do! But they can’t seriously think about all 11,000 of us individually at once. So advocate for yourself. There are people who will help you succeed but you have to make yourself known to them. I wanted to work in a lab but I couldn’t get funding and the hours interfered with classtime. I convinced my advisor and the department for long enough that they allowed me to take an independent study under my advisor even though I was working in a completely different lab. My advisor now takes the extra time to function as my liaison and works with my PI so that I can do what I love for academic credit. I wanted to present my research abroad but couldn’t find the funding. I poked around a bit, asked for some guidance and now, guess who’s going to Prague? This gal! The people at this school want to help. But they won’t know how or even that you need help until you stand in front of them and tell them what you need and why. You have a powerful voice, use it and then keep on using it.
See what other advice Gabbie has below!

May

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In focus

Today’s senior wisdoms are starting off strong with Nathan Rosin, CCSC president and Bwog’s friend from the fifth floor of Lerner.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Nathan Rosin, CC, Middle East South Asian and African Studies and Econ, Needham MA

Claim to fame: Received an email last year from Dean Kromm that she and Deantini wanted to explore what exactly the annual student snowball fight was all about for the first time, and I was out of bed like lighting a few minutes later to see just how well the Dean could toss a snowball – and he didn’t disappoint. Then, this year was personally challenged to a rematch snowball fight by Deantini via email alongside John and Nicole (clearly I did a good job last year, given that the Dean seemed to think he had some scores to settle) – and tbh I think I did a pretty good job the next day living up to the challenge (judging by the snowball I landed smack on his face). CCSC President, COOP leader, and McBain president once upon a time (responsible for Rush McB tanks…)

Where are you going? 50 blocks downtown, but probably won’t be able to stay even that far away for too long…

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. It’s so important to put in the time and effort to maintain strong friendships throughout your four years here. Sometimes it’s hard to remember or to make the time, and I’ve struggled at points to keep some friendships going that I really wished I had worked harder for, because it really is the people that define Columbia. When I graduate, I’m pretty confident I’ll remember my relationships and the people here in general as the best part about this place. The stories everyone has to share are unbelievable, and the support and encouragement people give each other carried me through my time here.

Classes, events, JJ’s, and more after the jump

May

10

Don’t be the next Maggie killer

Bwogline: Puerto Rican students taken in by NYU for the semester as the island recovered from Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Maria have requested to have their stay extended through the fall, due to the poor recovery efforts taking place on the island, including frequent power outages and the economic crisis. NYU has denied their request. (Buzzfeed)

Study Tip: Use the Forest app to keep you from constantly checking your phone while your cram for you last couple finals. In it, you set a specific amount of time for your phone to “grow” a tree and if you close out the screen, it dies.   You don’t want to kill a tree, even a digital one, do you?

Music: You might think it looks dumb, but SpongeBob the Musical is actually a modern classic. Also, it’s super motivating while we finish finals/packing/any other last minute plans.

Procrastination Tip: Take a walk around campus, either alone or with some friends who are still around, and reminisce about what you’ve done in your time here at Columbia. These years go by fast so it never hurts to take a little time to reflect.

Overheard: “I need to hydrate before I die-drate”

a once majestic magnolia via Bwog Archives

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