Claire Duvallet

For the last Senior Wisdom of the day we have Claire Duvallet, who made your life a lot better, even if you didn’t realize it.

Name, Hometown, School: Claire Duvallet; Austin, TX (mostly); SEAS BME

Claim to fame? Puppies, lawns, and SEAS study abroad

Where are you going? Phnom Penh, Cambodia to work for Engineering World Health as a Luce Scholar next year. Then MIT for my Ph.D. in biological engineering. Hurray for not having to make any life decisions till next decade!

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1.  Quality >> quantity. This goes for words, friends, and time spent studying.
2. Happiness deserves a spot on your to-do list, and your well-being should be scheduled into your life as much as your millions of problem sets or essays. The amount of work you’ll get done past a certain time at night is less than the amount you’ll gain from your increased productivity the next day because you’re happy that you slept or went out with friends or whatever.
3. If you want something, ask for it (nicely)! Also and related, every choice you make is two choices: the choice and its consequences. Bitching without acting means that you essentially choose and accept that whatever you’re complaining about is gonna keeping being what it is. Approach individuals in good faith and you’ll be astounded by the response. Administrators at Columbia DO care, it just gets lost somewhere in the trickle-down. When Carolyn and I spoke to the groundskeeper about the lawns, he said he’d never heard these concerns from students before–actually it’s probably just that no one had ever approached him without having already decided he was the enemy (he’s not! He’s such a grandpa!!). Be willing to listen and understand the other side of the story and you’ll see that yours gets through so much easier.

Back in my day…John Jay had waffles err’day, green flags were a myth, and SEAS study abroad seemed impossible.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I believe stories are the currency of life and strive to live accordingly. Also Goldfarb has a picture of me on his phone and free pens exist because of me.

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Illustration by Leila Mgaloblishvili, CC ’16

One more piece from the May issue of The Blue and White: a Campus Character. Daniel Stone profiles University Senator Richard Sun. You can still grab a copy in Lerner. Or read the damn thing online.

At the suggestion of Richard Sun, CC ’13, we meet in the gaudily adorned lobby of Le Parker Meridian on 56th Street off 6th Avenue. Below five hundred dollar-a-night rooms and next to non-functional renaissance columns, a maroon curtain hides the Burger Joint. Waiting in the long line to get in, Sun tells me he likes the place partly because you “wouldn’t expect to find a relaxed and greasy burger joint at the heart of the hotel.” (It’s also near Brooks Brothers, where he has been shopping and the fare’s good.) Inside the cramped restaurant, as if to hide the fact that the hotel also runs it, graffiti uniformly covers the walls. Prices are written on cardboard boxes in marker. He orders two cheeseburgers and a milkshake. When it turns out they have run out of milkshakes, he opts for water. Then, we sit.

Sun wears many hats. At Columbia, most know him as one of the three University Senators who represent Columbia College, the man who knocked on hundreds of doors to secure victory in his campaign last year. Those who miss his semi-regular USenate email updates may know him as an RA in Carman, Economics TA, brother of Sigma Phi Epsilon, or member of the Ski Team. Many are also familiar with his collection of hard-to-get internships, including a semester in the White House and a summer working for Columbia’s favorite consulting firm, McKinsey & Company. In the past four years, Sun has garnered—along with his impressive resume—a complicated reputation as a public figure on campus. (more…)

What makes you happy?

It’s not unusual to wake up after a night at 1020 with some unexpected texts on your phone. In Bwog’s case, we woke up to find an interview in voice memo form. On Tuesday, two adventurous seniors, Anna and Diana (anonymity requested), CC and SEAS’13, decided to stay in 1020 from opening to closing. At 2:20 am, 10 hours and 20 minutes into their stay, Bwog sat down at the front table to check in with them.

Bwog: How long have you been at 1020? 

Diana: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2…10 hours!

Anna: 10 hours and 20 minutes.  Since 4 o’clock, opening time.

Bwog: And how long are you going to be here till?

Anna and Diana: Until it closes! [agonized shouts]

Anna: I thought it was gonna be 3, but considering the crowd that’s come out, I think it’s gonna be more like 4:30. I think last call will be 3:50 and everyone will be gone by 4:30.

Diana: Are we gonna be the last people here?

Anna: I think so, yeah.

Diana: I assumed we would.

Anna: It’s all a work in progress.

Bwog: When did you come up with this idea?

Anna: Two nights ago!

Diana: We wanted to do it for a long time, and then we just were like “fuuuuck, let’s do it.”

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Meriam Raouf

For the second Senior Wisdom of the day we present Meriam Raouf, who takes “30 words or fewer” literally and “one thing to do” less so.

Name, Hometown, School: Meriam Raouf – Flakes, New Jersey – CC

Claim to fame? I half-heartedly interned for KCR like 1 semester a year, and never took the test, so there’s that. I think I got nominated because I may or may not have pooped in the pool during my swim test.  I lived in the Writer’s House in Harmony, I usually have tequila with me at Quarto readings.

Where are you going? You’re not the boss of me.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. The only thing dumber than wearing a bikini on campus on a brisk day in May, is discussing it. In fact, the only thing dumber than doing any dumb thing, is discussing it. It’s like you didn’t even see Mean Girls.
   
2. If food, mice. Every damn time.
3. If you make a joke, and it is too much for your friends, and this happens a lot, and you feel weird about it, make new friends, not new jokes. Your second joke will be worse and your second friend will be better.

Back in my day… Well first of all, John Jay had Hogwarts lighting. The turnstile at Lerner was fucked up so that if you swiped your ID without paying attention to the click, it would clothesline you right in the crotch. It was funny to watch people do–I’m pretty sad they fixed that. 1020 didn’t dare have a LINE, let alone a ROPE for that line, the nerve. The artist formally known as Campo was just Campo, a place where freshmen could get drunk in the morning, and a half-decent second base at night. Women were not allowed to go to Columbia, Four-Loko was not Three-Loko, and not a single igloo was left un-hotboxed.

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In the course of studying, Bwog discovered some questionable commentary in notes and readings.  See how bad we are at being students:

Serena Piol

The first Senior Wisdom of the day is Serena Piol, who wrote her thesis about milk despite being lactose-intolerant.

Name, Hometown, School: Serena Piol, New York City, Columbia College

Claim to fame? I would have to say either that I wrote my thesis about milk or that I successfully housed my dog in EC for a week.

Where are you going? For now, right back to the womb.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Don’t be afraid to quit.  College is too short to do something that makes you miserable.  No one is forcing you to do something for your entire four years.  Try it out. If you like it, continue.  If you don’t, at least you learned something (or didn’t) and you can move on.  This doesn’t just apply to clubs.  This applies to classes (it’s why we have a shopping period!) and people (meet lots but don’t waste your time on the ones that aren’t worth wasting time on).
   
2. Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable.  Do FemSex. Go to Take Back the Night.  Take a dance class. Go to ROOTed discussions. Do things like the What I Be project.  Embrace your vulnerability because you will grow from it.
3. Use the time between classes.  Don’t underestimate the fact that you could write a page or two of your CC paper during that random 50 minute break you have.  That’s a page or two you wont have to write later and 50 more minutes of sleep.

Back in my day… JJ’s had microblasts, internet trolls had I See You Columbia and College ACB, and Senior Night was only for Seniors.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I was potty trained by 1 and haven’t since done anything to trump that.

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Gone green

While everyone is running out to finish finals, pack and peace out, there are some that stay behind to pick up the pieces. Leftovers for the Give and Go Greeners!

Every year, at the end of the spring Give and Go Green (run under EcoReps) takes on the task to make move out as waster-free as possible. You reject it? They take it! And, better yet, they sell it in the fall so that students can get fridges, hangers, fans, basically anything for basically the price of nothing. The money goes to programs such as bikeshare, or composting, or earth week (also run by EcoReps). A self-sustainable budget for a sustainable development group.

Conclusion? DONATE YOUR STUFF to Give & Go Green before Saturday the 18th.

There are bins/drop off locations at Carman, Hartley, John Jay, EC, Schapiro, Woodbridge, Nussbaum, Harmony, Broadway, Furnald, Ruggles & McBain. At Barnard, drop off locations are in Elliot, Plimpton, 110, 600, 616, Cathedral Gardens, and Sulzberger. Contact ecorepscu@gmail.com for any questions, or ask on the facebook page.

P.S. do the math, instead of storing a fridge all summer you give it and buy one at the sale in the fall…

Sick ‘em

It’s Thursday. We’re on the homestretch, we’re almost there! Take a minute to join Bwog in bed for a quick mind-cuddle. For more Bwog-love, send your overheards, questions and poetry to tips@bwog.com

Bwogline: Ivy League? More like the Crime-y League. White-only scholarships, under-reported sex crimes, freshman arrested for aggravated sexual assault? Summer can’t come quickly enough.

Procrastinate: Try to figure out where on earth you are! Or take a look at what it’s like in space, courtesy of InterStellar Sex God Chris Hadfield.

Finals Tip: Instead of studying, work on perfecting your dog whistle. Whip it out in the middle of your exam. Dogs through the windows, dogs through the floors, dogs swirling around the desks and dogs chewing on your T.A.’s leg. Your  exam will be completely forgotten.

Overheard:

Two disillusioned students by Wallach: Lit Hum is so pointless. When was the last time you opened the classified section and it said, ‘Sing, customer, of the shoes that the baby bought and the happiness that they brought unto the entire family.’ or ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that baby shoes are cheaper at Target.’

Pooches via Shutterstock

Brian Wagner

Little-known fact: contrary to popular belief, Bwog does not stand for the Blue and White Blog, but for Brian Wagner, Original Gangster. Our second former Bwogger to share his wisdom: Brian Wagner, previous managing editor, gchat hero, and 95% of the reason Bwog did not crash on a daily basis for a year. Thanks, Brian.

Name, Hometown, School: Brian Wagner; Park Ridge, Illinois; SEAS (which surprises a lot of people for some reason)

Claim to fame: I used to write and edit things that (hopefully most of you) read. Once I did a really good job of describing the average Columbia student.

Where are you going? For now, Los Angeles to put computers in spaceships. Or robots or something. Later, who knows? I don’t like the idea of staying in one place for long.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• 1. When you disagree with people, it’s easy to mistake your argument with their idea for an argument with their character. Once you stop doing that, it’ll make your conversations actually productive. And I’ve yet to meet someone with whom I’ve disagreed that I haven’t enjoyed grabbing a beer with.
• 2. Don’t fear failure. In order to achieve anything worthwhile, you’re going to have to step out of your comfort zone and take risks. It’s okay if things don’t end well (and believe me, sometimes they don’t), because that’s how you learn. I failed a class while I was here and it taught me more about myself and the world than practically everything else. Try not to fail any classes though, cause that sucks.
• 3. The reason you’re here is likely because back in high school, you were the best. Now you’re not (probably). But that’s okay, because now you’re surrounded by literally hundreds of people who are just as smart, talented, caring, and incredible as you are. And once you learn to accept that you don’t have to be the greatest anymore, you can ditch that competitive attitude and start forming real relationships with your peers. Do it—they, morso than anything else—are the best resource Columbia has to offer, and don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help when you need it.
• 3.1. Don’t put two spaces after a period. Just don’t.

Back in my day…NSOP meant frat parties, study breaks meant J.J.’s place; NoCo wasn’t finished yet; Bwog looked bluer; EC lounges reminded me of parties and not studying; and everyone else looked older than me.

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Will Hughes

And another Wisdom as all the wisdom from your classes slowly leaves your brain: Will Hughes, who looked out for you on CCSC, yet admits to some participation in the War on Fun, along with a somewhat-secret online identity.

Name, Hometown, School: Will Hughes, Coarsegold, CA, Columbia College, Math and English

Claim to fame? Peer counseling stuff: GHAP counselor, RA, and recently retired Nightline staff member; various campus theater (most proudly this) and eventual CUPAL president; interviewing people on WBAR as co-founder/co-host of THE GOOOOOON SQUAD; a yearlong stint on CCSC where I made a bit of a fuss about arts funding; baker and general dessert enthusiast; overdoing it with room décor; being that six foot tall ginger in the letterman jacket who bears a STRIKING resemblance to Archie.

Where are you going? Brief stint on the ranch and then back to New York.

3 things you learned at Columbia:

• 1. When the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked.
• 2. The walk from Westside to EC eventually feels shorter, but the walk in the 14th Street subway tunnel never does.
• 3. Someone once told me politics in small towns boils down to gossip. This extends to Columbia, which is a small town in its own way. When combined with an org chart so complex it takes years to understand, you get a system where decisions at the University’s highest levels are regularly made because of the most inane factors imaginable, and figuring it all out is a matter of befriending the right people. If learning (and hollerin’) about the Arts Initiative taught me anything, it was how the students, faculty, and staff get shafted entirely when people make decisions (especially structural and budgetary ones) for petty, personal reasons.

Back in my day…SiP was a wonderful place to get a martini and do some homework (before it was replaced by homophobes, sigh). James Franco studying in 209 was cause for many a group text. The Diana Center was called the Vag, and the Vag was not open, meaning no proper student center. Different people held most senior administrative positions. The theater kids didn’t get along with each other as well as they do now. There was no business management concentration that encouraged people to hedge their bets against a humanities degree.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: My Twitter generally is on point, Public Safety said I’m “too fun for Columbia,” I’m shenanigans@columbia.edu, and, despite failing too often, I try every day to do the right thing.

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A wild FRESHMAN appears! What will BWOG do? BWOG used CONVENIENT FEATURE WHERE WE ANSWER QUESTIONS. It’s super effective!

Hi Mr. Bwog,

My name is Chris. I am a freshman. I have a question. What happens to me after Saturday? Am I a sophomore? Or do I have to wait until June?

All week this question has made me go :( ARG ARG ARG WAHAHA CHU CHU :P. I asked my philosophy professor and he told me to shut up and go back to taking my test. I asked the security guard in Hartley and she didn’t hear me because she was reading the Spec. I asked my friend Oscar and he said that he didn’t know. HELP ME Mr. Bwog. You’re my only hope.

Your bestest friend of all,

Christopher L

Hi Chris.

You can just call us Bwog, although we do take the royal ‘we’. Kidding. Maybe.

We’re a bit divided on this issue, but the staff has a few possible criteria for defining at what point you really level up.

• “You are a sophomore once you get enough credits. So if you pass all your frosh classes, yes.”
• “‘Rising _____’ is a real thing invented for situations like this.”
• “Technically not until you’re back at school, but bitches love older guys, so say you’re a sophomore anyway”

Take that as you will, Chris. Bwog is sitting pretty at super-super-super-senior status, so we don’t have any trouble with the ladies.

Love,
Bwog

Yoshiaki Ko

Our next in the endless Senior Wisdoms parade: your CC salutatorian, who makes some very logical calculations. 

Name, Hometown, School: Yoshiaki Ko, Millbrae, CA, CC (Neuroscience & Behavior)

Claim to fame: Salutatorian! Also, pianist in the Columbia-Juilliard Exchange; you may find me often in the Lerner piano lounge, trying to learn some Schumann, for example.

Where are you going? Master’s program at Juilliard while continuing research at my lab in the Psych department – time to live the life of a musician for a couple years, before (probably) heading back into academia. I love music, but I think neuroscience is where my future lies.

3 things you learned at Columbia:

• (1) Your fellow students at Columbia are probably the most valuable resource at your disposal – even more so than your professors or textbooks. It’s amazing how much you can learn just by talking to other students, especially if they’re studying subjects that you’re not.
• (2) Sleep. I know you think you have to stay up to finish your work, but honestly, you can probably do it in half the time and do it better if you weren’t so sleep-deprived.
• (3) President Bollinger controls the weather around Days on Campus. I have seen no evidence to the contrary.

Back in my day…NoCo didn’t exist/was under construction and we had the Epic of Gilgamesh in Lit Hum (the best reading by far, though I feel like I’m the only one who liked it),

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: At the very least, I’d like to think of myself as a pleasant person, and so hopefully that tilts the cosmic scale slightly in favor of “it is better that Yoshi exists.”

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To the practice rooms in Schapiro: thank you for your service. I know a lot of people hate to practice on your upright pianos, but I have developed a certain affinity for them, which I will actually miss.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Probably oral sex. There are other ways to sex, but there are no other ways to cheese.

One thing to do before graduating: Take chances. My most rewarding experiences at Columbia have been when I jumped into something that was a little out of my comfort zone; by doing so, you learn, you grow, and you’ll better get to know yourself! And honestly, when else are you going to do it? College may well be the last time before the “real world” takes over.

Any regrets? None at all.

Need a study break/affirmation that the people around you are doing productive things with their time? New Columbia band TOX and GUEST, featuring students Eli Aleinikoff, Sahil Ansari, Jon Perkins, Emilie Schattman, and Corey Dansereau, have just released their first EP on — where else? — band camp. They would love for you to listen to it.The album was recorded over the last few months entirely on campus, including rooms in Dodge, McBain, and GreenBorough. If you like what you hear, TOX and GUEST is playing at the Underground, home of many a student music celebration, this Friday at 10:30pm. We’ve embedded one of their singles, “Pixelated,” below.

Sophie Flack

Today’s first of who-knows-how-many Senior Wisdom: Sophie Flack, former professional ballet dancer, novelist, and GS graduate who has an entirely justified appreciation for Erik Gray.

Name, Hometown, School: Sophie Flack, Watertown, MA (fun fact: my childhood home is less than two blocks from where bombing suspect Dzhokar Tsarnaev was hiding in a boat!), GS; English Literature.

Claim to fame? I left home right after my 15th birthday to pursue my dream of dancing with the New York City Ballet. After a nine-year career with the company, I wrote BUNHEADS, a novel inspired by my experiences dancing in the corps de ballet—while enrolled at Columbia.

Where are you going? Leave New York? Are you insane? In terms of figuring out what I want to be when I grow up, I’m hoping to do some more dance review (I have a piece in the next issue of Ballet Review magazine, and I post my recent reviews and essays here). I’ve also been working on a few television scripts, including an adaptation of my book (no, that ABC Family show has no relation to my novel, other than the extremely clever title…) that I’d like to put into the ether and see what happens.

3 things you learned at Columbia:

• Drop the attitude, because you don’t know everything. Enter class with humility, and be willing to ask for help when you’re lost. People seem a lot smarter when they admit that they don’t understand, than when they pretend they do.
• Some of the most fascinating courses I took were the ones I dreaded the most.
• Bubble tea at Café East will satisfy your oral fixation through your longest lectures. Important tip: make sure to ration your bubbles, so you can make it last through class.
• Typing notes on an iPad is the fastest method for note taking. It’s been proven (by me).
• Brownies Café (in the basement of Avery) has the BEST molasses cookies. The Avery library is the best place to do work on campus, but you have to smuggle in your cookie… and your bubble tea.

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Brunch

Just one more Music Hum final….

Bwogline: You go, Angelia Jolie.

Finals tip: The Morton Williams gummy worms not only have smiles BUT little A’s stamped on them. Start inhaling them in the hope that ingesting A’s will be the same as receiving them from your professors.

Procrastinate: Nostalgic seniors? This may make you cry.

Overheard: A budding Music Hum-er:

Little girl: *starts singing Heart and Soul*
Mom: That’s not classical.
Girl, indignantly: It’s close enough!

 

Finals advice via Wikimedia