Name, Hometown, School, Major: Hayley Peterson, East Bethel, MN, Barnard College, Film Studies

Claim to Fame? Former Drum Major of the Columbia University Marching Band, I’ve strutted around in a certain lion costume, and danced with Lebron James…sort of.

Where are you going? That remains to be seen. But definitely northern Minnesota for the 4th of July and Robert K. Kraft Field at Lawrence A. Wein Stadium at Baker Athletics Complex for the opening football game. And I’ll be hanging out in the city until June 29.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. “There’s no deadline for life.” President Spar shared that little gem with me. Everything falls into place at some point and stressing just makes me grumpy. It’s important to do the things that make you happy, surround yourself with people you love, and try new things all the time.
2. Being friendly is worth the effort. And it’s free. I made friends with an EC security guard when I gave him a red carnation and now we always chat. All those people you met at NSOP can be awkward to encounter, but only if you let them. Campus is so much more fun when you talk to people all the time. Say hi to anyone and everyone you’ve ever met here. A little Minnesota-Nice goes a long way.
3. The true meaning of G(tb)^2.

“Back in my day…” The subway cost two dollars.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: My existence is an awfully big adventure.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? I’m pretty sure the war will never end. Someone will always be unhappy at another person’s merriment. Maintain a sense of humor and a tiny bit of respect, and victory will be yours. Don’t let the man get you down, Columbia!

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? My diet is 90% cheeseburgers, pizza and Twisters from Hamdel. I fear a world without cheese. And Hamdel.

Advice for the class of 2016:

• Go to the activities fairs at the beginning of the year. Write your name on email lists, you can always unsubscribe later. And sign up for things you never thought you would. I joined the marching band sophomore year because, honestly, I just really wanted a rugby shirt. I ended up making some of the best friends I have ever had, developing a true love for Columbia athletics (seriously), and having a thoroughly amazing time. I also became a sister of Alpha Chi Omega, despite my reluctance to join greek life. That ended up being the best decision I could have made as a freshman. You can find your passions in very unexpected places. Forget inhibitions and throw yourself into whatever you do.
• College is as much about being young and having a good time as it is about academics and responsibility. Don’t pass up the opportunity to see a performance, go to a game, or just hang out with friends because you have too much work. The work will get it done, it always does. Now is the time to make mistakes and to learn from them.
• Write down the funny things your friends say on post-its. They make excellent wall decorations.

Any regrets? I try to look at everything in my life as a learning experience, that way I can’t regret anything. Sure, there are some moments I wish I could re-do, but in the end, those are the moments that become good stories. I DO regret not learning from the experience of not getting a SPEARS ticket. I didn’t get a senior ball ticket either.

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Barry Weinberg, Indianapolis (a.k.a. “Indy,” “Naptown,” “the land that time forgot”), Columbia College, Political Science-Economics Major, EALAC concentrator

Claim to Fame? That randomly intense guy who was always at CCSC saying “well, see, I was digging through the archives and there used to be…,” the reason CCSC no longer has instant-runoff voting, foot soldier in the war to protect and reform the Core, former Co-President and all-around board member of Everyone Allied Against Homophobia, very former CU Dems Lead Activist, the accidental Chair of the Student Governing Board of Earl Hall, GS’s number one fan, general meeting attendee, that weirdo walking around in the February snow or a September Indian summer in sandals and a green fleece. I also gathered a large group of random people in a room in Kent on Monday nights and called it the “Columbia-Barnard Student Forum.”

Where are you going? For the moment, home to 109th and Amsterdam for a breather. Then, hopefully the New York City Comptroller’s Office or maybe China to work on my Mandarin.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. How you got to where you are can be an immensely useful tool when you’re trying to figure out how to get to where you’re going. Columbia is notoriously bad at keeping written records of the way things work (it’s hard to do that when you run on fiat), so every professor or (even better) professor emeritus can be a goldmine of institutional knowledge. It’s important to find them, meet them, and get to know their stories.
2. Why you do things is more important than what you do, and usually determines how well you do them. The whole point of the Core Curriculum is to force us to examine and define our own personal values, our sense of justice, and our moral and ethical beliefs in conversation with our peers and professors. If you do things simply to “succeed” you’re implicitly acquiescing to a set of values whose importance you have absorbed unquestioningly from your surrounding social structures. Really challenging yourself to see if those values have both an internal coherence and make sense when put in context with the experiences of your classmates and the writings of the past can save you from having to figure this shit out when you’re 27, 35, 50, or 80 years old and have infinitely more regrets regarding your failure to live a truly meaningful life. If you’re passionate about righting an injustice, fascinated by the potential of a particular field of study, or you just genuinely want to live a good life, you’re far more likely to do those things well than if you simply try to “do well.”
3. People are incredibly complicated and multifaceted beings, and we are all flawed. Race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, socio-economic background, and a million other things all help to contribute to each individual’s unique set of lived experiences which can nonetheless have patterns of shared experiences with others. People appreciate being treated with respect and civility that acknowledges our intrinsic value as human beings. Even when people do not treat us with said respect and civility, they are still people deserving of such respect and civility because yet another part of being human is to be flawed, to fail to live up to our moral obligations to others. It is only by the grace of our fellow human beings that when we fail we may ask forgiveness and attempt to learn from our failure.

“Back in my day…” PrezBo skipped convocation, every dean was an “interim Dean,” the class of ’09 and ’10 had great war stories of an engaged and fired-up campus, a High Gay Council made sure First Fridays had pre-games and after-parties and that all three were both worth attending and the gateway to sloppy Saturdays, the Spec was a “vom-rag” while people turned to Bwog for the latest snarky inside scoop on campus politics, the legend that is La Negrita was the haven of those too cheap or unconnected to get fake IDs, the Varsity Show was perhaps less technically virtuosic but provided biting commentary on the Columbia admins sitting in the front row, there was some warehouse art/dance party called Collision that I was on my way to when my RA said “oh, you’ll have plenty of chances to go to that in the future, you should go to this other thing,” Kevin Shollenberger’s hair looked like this, and Frontiers made no sense conceptually (some things never change).

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I found love in a hopeless place, was ¼ of the Ovaries, and dance like a wild man. I love nachos and green things. I sometimes make people laugh.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? According to my archival research and (untrained) oral history interviews with alumni, the War on Fun as we know it is a fairly recent phenomenon. While the administrative impulse to make sure that students are having absolutely no dangerous, obscene, debauched, ill-advised, impolitic, spontaneous, or otherwise unsanctioned fun has existed for hundreds of years, they’ve previously been either too lazy or too understanding to act on that impulse with anything more than a half-hearted or token gesture. Then came Manhattanville, the Minutemen, and Ahmadinejad, and suddenly people realized that it would be very hard to raise money for a massive capital expansion while we were constantly being slammed on Fox News or had potentially less-than-flattering media attention. Thus, the rise of the UEM/Public Safety-complex, a renewed effort to control liability, and the general “no-you-can’t-do-that” attitude of admins. To be fair, we’re seeing some moderation recently thanks to Dean Martinez in Community Development and others who genuinely care about our lives as students, but we’re still a far cry even from the general laxity of our so-called “peer and aspirant schools.” That being said, there’s nothing like scoring a well-earned victory by kicking back on a roof with an El Presidente and taking in the skyline or having a four-person band perform in an EC suite during a raucous game of cocktail pong (gays do it so classy).

Read more…

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Marissa Tremblay, Cow Hampshire, Barnard ’12. Everyone says, “you’re that girl majoring in geology at Barnard, right?” But I’m technically an Enviro Sci major.

Claim to fame? People thought it was pretty cool when I came back from a semester sailing from Hawaii to Tahiti with a shaved head (a small part of the hazing tradition associated with crossing the equator). I also email thousands of people from the Columbia community on a regular basis as president of the CU Hiking Club.

Where are you going? BARKALAY!!! For some reason, I say it that way in my head every time. It sounds remotely similar to this. Translation: I’m starting my Ph.D. in geochemistry at Cal this fall.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Having a regular sleep schedule is really important! If you had class with me freshman and sophomore year, you likely observed me sleeping in ~75% of lectures. Junior year, I started being more productive during the daylight hours, going to bed earlier, and waking up at the same time instead of 1/2 hour before my first class. And guess what? I’ve stayed awake in 97% of lectures since!
2. Life at this institution was so much more enriched once my social circle extended beyond the undergraduate population. Professors, graduate students, and staff have been an integral part of my non-academic experience here. They have helped me become mature(ish) and imparted great wisdom. Thanks!
3. The words tipi, tepee, and teepee all refer to conical tents used by Native Americans of the Great Plains. And they are all pronounced the same way.

“Back in my day…” you could not walk from one end of Barnard’s campus to the other without going underground. La Negrita had the best trivia night in town on Tuesday nights during the summer. La Negrita existed.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I cannot physically frown. I’ve tried very, very hard, but my face must lack those muscles. I think this means that, deep down, I probably have a happy soul.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? The loud parties, public consumption, and rooftop excursions I enjoyed this year were not sanctioned. Maybe the war is over? Or maybe our fun has just grown more discrete?

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I consumed far too much Kraft mac & cheese when it was on sale at Westside for 2/$3 for over a year.

Advice to the class of 2016:

• You may feel out of place when you first get here. I certainly did; I was sheltered, I was boring, and I was pretty uninspired. Wearing a bright green fleece all of the time didn’t help either. Most of that will change, in due time. But don’t work too hard or force it to fit in. Do what feels right and what makes you happy. That’s what I did. I still wear the fleece (it helps people find me in a crowd), but I am a much more confident and passionate person than I was when I got here.
• Spend a summer living in New York! It’s a completely different experience from being a student here during the semester. Try and spend a summer in another part of the country/world as well. It helps give you perspective on your life in NYC.
• This is specific to incoming (and current) Barnard students: don’t treat the lab science requirement like a death wish! Seriously. Barnard students want to become the women leaders of the twenty-first century, but they need to remember that, well, we are in the twenty-first century, and that our everyday existence is heavily rooted in science and technology. Embrace it!!!

Any regrets? I REALLLLY wanted to be a beatboxer in an a capella group. But I never auditioned. I also never learned how to beatbox…

Despite what began as a light drizzle but soon became a torrential downpour, the 2012 graduating class of Columbia College made it up to the South Lawn stage—and on to the real world—this morning. There’s got to be a metaphor in there, somewhere.

Words of wisdom and congratulations were bestowed upon the baby blue-swathed grads by John “Rick” MacArthur, CC ’78—who did not clarify the whole Rick/John thing—as well as Deantini, PrezBo, several classmates, and KevSho.

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Nnaemeka (Emeka) Ekwelum, Boston, MA., Columbia College, Comparative Ethnic Studies

Claim to fame:

• Co-writing and producing FRIEZE, which is one of my greatest achievements to date (special shout out to our amazing cast and production team—I love you all).
• The day that Felicia Marie Bishop dedicated her thesis to me. In case you’re unaware, she’s a boss, which makes me a boss by association.
• Increasing my family’s assets by winning an iPad at a career fair that I almost didn’t attend.
• Living on the stoop of the Intercultural Resource Center (IRC).
• Being Columbia’s “most agile grandpa.”
• Waving at strangers, strangers who eventually become my friends.

Where are you going? I’m moving back to Boston to teach 7th Grade English as “Mr. Ekwelum” (*cringe*)…currently still in search of a satchel to officially complete the transition.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. A graduating senior recently confessed to me that he didn’t believe in institutional oppression. I can confidently declare that Columbia has objectively failed to breed “global citizens.”
2. “It might be helpful to think of deadlines as mere guidelines.” Sarah Joan Thompson CC ‘11, you’ve created a monster.
3. The personal is indeed political.

“Back in my day…”

• $.50 John Jay takeout containers hadn’t yet been employed as another form of extortion at Columbia.
• The Black Students’ Organization had a banner.
• Not enough courses were offered in CSER, which still holds true.
• The entire Harry Potter franchise (and The Varsity Show) only featured/needed one Black student…this fact also still holds true.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: Sticky Wings (Dallas BBQ). Haribo Gummy Bears. Westside Market’s Tango Panini (with onions). Edith, Chuks, and Chinyere Ekwelum. Popeye’s Biscuits. Felicia Bishop. Wikipedia. Unsung & Unborn Strivers. bso@googlegroups.com. IRC. Sweatpants.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? When I can still laugh at 6:30am, a few hours before my fifteen-page research paper, of which I’ve only written a header, is due, I know that I’ve immersed myself in the company of great people. If there is indeed a war, my friends and I are #winning.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? According to Wikipedia, there are over 500 different varieties of cheese recognized by the International Dairy Federation. Specificity is key!

Advice for the class of 2016:

• Don’t be afraid to hold administrators accountable.
• Make sure you’ve seen/held an e-form before you graduate. Additionally, invest in the Columbia community but don’t lose yourself in it.
• We are all products of various socializations. Constantly challenge yourself to understand why you believe in what you believe.
• If frat parties aren’t your thing, don’t make it a thing you do.
• Experiment with your education; you might not actually want to be a banker or doctor. You never know how a random elective might enhance or clarify your academic and/or personal interests.
• No means no.
• Cry when you’re overwhelmed. The purge is so necessary.
• STUDENTS OF COLOR: people at this institution have sullied the terms “multicultural,” “community,” “diversity,” and “global.” Don’t buy into the propaganda, the “self-segregationists” that I’ve encountered at Columbia have primarily been White students. Don’t get distracted…just keep strivin’.

Any regrets? I regret not dating enough. #scramble (?)

In case you’re living under a rock/booth of 1020 and haven’t heard, Obama stopped by South Lawn yesterday to give Barnard’s 2012 Commencement Speech. Decently Dynamic Duo Ella Quittner and Brian Wagner stopped by and made a highlight reel. In their heads. 

This guy.

“Fight for a seat at the head of the table.”

That’s one of three pieces of advice President Barack Obama gave today at the 2012 Barnard College Commencement ceremony under a big white tent on South Lawn. He was directly addressing the class of graduating seniors, but the irony wasn’t lost on the number of audience members who’d as a matter of fact had to fight tooth and nail for a coveted seat at that very ceremony.

We’d been expecting Obama since his decision to deliver the Barnard Commencement Address was announced back in early March. Reactions to that announcement were mixed. Some felt slighted, and weren’t shy about it. Others simply wanted answers, asking why he—a 1983 graduate of Columbia College—had chosen to give a speech across the street from his own alma mater. Others still, students in the School of General Studies, felt the ripple effects of his decision weeks later.

While the PrezOb didn’t exactly provide a frank response to the hubbub caused by his visit, he did begin his speech with a bit of a tongue-in-cheek one-line: “I’ll begin by telling a hard truth: I’m a Columbia College graduate.”

Obama then transitioned to speaking briefly about the country’s economic recession, stopping off first over in “the bygone days” of 1983 to reference Sally Ride, the moonwalk, and what his own graduating class experienced as a “time of change… a time of uncertainty.” He spoke mostly to the Barnard graduates about what he feels is a leading role of women in modern society.

Other highlights included pithy maxims like, “Keep your friends close, and your Barnard Commencement speakers even closer,” and “You can be stylish and powerful too—that’s Michelle’s advice.” Advice items two and three, following Obama’s seat-at-the-table-metaphor, were to remain aware of the power of one’s example, and to persevere. He spoke of “strong, remarkable women,” from his own mother, wife, and daughters, to Congresswomen Barbara Mikulski and Olympia Snowe.

You can watch his entire speech here, with a transcript after the jump:

Read the transcript after the jump.

No POTUS Here

Today, the SEAS class of 2012 took the metaphorical and literal stage. Super SEAS Specialist (aka SEAS junior) Brian Wagner watched and took some notes. 

Coming and going with a bit less fanfare than today’s other ceremony, SEAS Class Day took place on the South Lawn late this afternoon. The atmosphere was decidedly less energetic than it had been earlier, and there were far fewer large men in suits with radio earpieces. However, the dour weather and subdued mood were rather fitting for this celebration of Columbia’s engineering school graduates. Whereas themes of the morning included empowerment, seizing opportunities, and fighting for equality, the speeches delivered by SEAS Class Day’s keynote speaker Ursula Burns and PrezBo this afternoon were decidedly darker, if not still inspirational.

Burns did encourage the young engineers to pursue subjects they enjoy and take time to have fun every once in a while, but the crux of her speech was—instead of the fantastical promise that the grads could go on to do whatever they wanted—the unideal state of our world, which Burns supported with troubling statistics about the percentages of the population that do not have access to food or clean water. She informed the grads that it was their role as engineers to improve these conditions; the burden of the world’s problems appeared to now lay squarely upon the shoulders of a group of 22-year-olds. Jokes were made, but the message was clear: it was time for the engineers to enter the real world and make a difference.

Following suit, PrezBo spent the first point of his speech bemoaning Earth’s condition, and made it quite clear that the students in front of him were the ones being deployed to the front lines. Nonetheless, he expressed a calm confidence in the abilities of the grads, delivering a concise and fatherly pep talk.

Standing in stark contrast to the morning’s mood, the serious tone of SEAS Class Day perhaps fit the school’s sense of realism and purpose nicely. Many of the student speakers mentioned their time in Gateway as one of their first true engineering experiences; maybe today was merely another rehashing of what SEAS students have been doing all along: Here’s a problem, go fix it.

List of speakers below!

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Gac Filipaj, New York City, GS, Classics

Claim to Fame? [Editor's Note: Read about Gac's claim to fame.]

Where are you going? I would like to go to grad school here at Columbia.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. I thought I knew a lot, if not everything, but I came to know that I know almost nothing.
2. Classical culture rules the world, and Latin language can unite humankind and the world.
3. To try to find out which of the great minds were right and which were wrong.

Favorite class(es)? Professor(s)? Senior thesis, Majors’ Seminar, Philippics I and II, James Zetzel, Collomia Charles, Marcus Folch, William Harris, but without doubt, number one remains Seneca’s Letters with Gareth Williams.

Advice for the class of 2016: Now is the time to study. Do not leave it for when you reach my age. Do not get distracted by any failure. You fail when you lose your hope. Live to see what “the journey of life” is like. Stay on “the life-stage” until the end comes on its own. And do read Seneca’s letters.

Any regrets? I should have tried to come to the USA much earlier.

Photo via the NYDN

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Stephanie Jurburg, Montevideo, Uruguay, Environmental Biology

Claim to fame: Hanging out like it’s a sport. Also I once 911-ed myself

Where are you going? To the Netherlands, to study soil ecology.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

Aside from academics, which vary greatly between majors,

1. New York moves at a completely different pace. This just seems to be the way it is. While I haven’t gotten the conversion quite right yet, I’d say that 15 minutes of recreation here are equivalent to about an hour in most other places. It is important to cherish 15 minutes of coffee or office hours as if they were a full hour.
2. I was raised on the premise that “Different people are good at different things”. The Columbia population is an extreme example of this. It’s great sometimes, but it has the potential to make you feel tiny. If you are here, though, chances are you are very good at something too, but this is easy to forget.
3. New York City has a surprising amount of public parks, and many of them are beautifully designed. I did not appreciate public spaces before coming to New York. Columbia’s campus is particularly beautiful, especially in the Spring.

“Back in my day…” I had to budget 15 minutes (a full NY hour!) to get to Milbank, Owning a radio was less preposterous than it is today (although it was still pretty strange), and the lack of widespread smartphones meant you could actually get lost in the city…

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I am pretty pleased with my current situation, I think that’s good enough.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Enforcing the rules/laws is the job of Public Safety Officers. Sadly, rules/laws tend to be terribly outdated, but enforcers are simply doing what their job requires, and in many cases they are very accommodating. Is it a war? Is it a slow and bureaucratic process? Does it matter? Below, 3 illustrative cases.

I’ve been to a party which had been carefully planned for weeks in advance but was busted at 11 pm on a Friday, before it even started. That was not fair.

On the other hand, I participated in a pretty impressive Labor Day barbecue on Riverside Park which never got busted. That was a lovely time.

Most importantly, turning 21 blurs the lines. This year’s Passover Seder tally: 16 people, 20 liters of wine, 0 broken rules.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I would give up oral sex, easy. The cheese variety out there is simply unrivaled, and eating bread and cheese by the river will never be frowned upon. Can’t say that about the alternative.

Advice for the class of 2016:

• If you can, get a part-time job. Full-time jobs are bound to affect your performance in school or at least stress you out, but part-time jobs can help you keep your priorities in check.
• Keep your priorities in check: if you aren’t eating or sleeping to study, then you are effectively neglecting your body in favor of a higher grade. This may make sense sometimes, but not always. Respect yourself!
• If you can, get a bike. It will pay for itself in saved Metrocards, you will get to see parts of the city you wouldn’t otherwise, and in time your sense of direction is bound to improve.
• Statistics say you will never live as close to all of your college friends as during college. Take advantage!

Any regrets? I never did get to see Hair or the Rockefeller Center’s tree-lighting ceremony. Other than that, it’s been a great run.

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Usha Sahay, Short Hills, NJ, CC, history & political science, which is just a longer way of saying I majored in JSTOR.

Claim to Fame: Conspiracy theorist, Simon and Garfunkel fanatic, overwhelmingly proud Youth for Debate mama, that girl rudely doing the crossword puzzle in lecture. I wrote the rules for this drinking game, and I probably stuck an orange SPECIAL sticker on you at Bacchanal.

Where are you going?

Not sure yet. If all goes as planned, I’ll be single-handedly reviving the dying journalism industry in DC, San Francisco, or maybe here. Also, I’m determined to live in Portland (OR) for a few years at some point in my life.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. I took an English/theater class sophomore year in which we studied Chekhov, and one thing has stuck with me: Chekhov uses his characters to highlight how people fixate on one thing and convince themselves that it’s the key to solving all their problems. For his Three Sisters, it’s “when we get to Moscow, all of our worries will disappear.” For us, it’s “when I turn in this paper, I’ll finally have time for fun again,” or “when I get this one job interview, everything will be okay.” It isn’t true: there’s no one solution to our problems. It’s easy to think that things will let up after that one nagging worry is taken care of, but something else always crops up to replace it. That’s life.
2. There’s no shame in stopping to rest on the way up to Hamilton 7. If anything, it’s more embarrassing to show up to class gasping for breath. Plus you might see a flyer for an amazing club or lecture or movie screening…plus you might figure out where the bathrooms are.
3. The means justify the ends. Life is weird, unpredictable, and yes, unfair, so staking your happiness on a grade, or someone else’s approval, or any other end result, will leave you disappointed. It sounds lame, but working hard and being a nice person are their own rewards, and I wish I had learned that earlier.

“Back in my day…” John Jay still served those incredibly addictive chocolate chip muffins that my Carman floormates were convinced had crack in them. Brownie’s didn’t have that awkward communal table setup. Hashtags weren’t a thing.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I’ve tried to be a good older sister, to teach kids to have opinions and express them proudly, and to make Columbians understand how hilarious this video is.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? It’s definitely not over, but fun will win in the end because it’s a moving target, subject to constant redefinition – that is, the WoF forces you to rethink ‘fun’ in creative, and more subversive, ways. For instance, it made my friends realize that the Casa Italiana terrace is really the only place to shotgun beers. I’m still terrible at shotgunning beers, by the way.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? It occurs to me that Columbia students might not be the most unbiased subjects for this question, given how easily they can walk to Westside and make a meal out of free cheese samples. But I always seem to get there too late in the day for the cheese….which I find is less of a problem with oral sex.

Advice for the class of 2016:

• It’s not super popular advice around here, but I really believe it: seriously, seriously consider studying abroad. You’ll thank yourself every day that you did it. While it’s completely true that every second in New York is valuable, you’ll come back with an invaluable understanding of why exactly that is, and how to appreciate this city in the best way possible.
• If it seems like you’re the only one who doesn’t yet have their perfect job/friend group/soulmate/life plan, don’t panic. We forget that college really is about trial and error, about figuring things out as you go. That’s why you’re not expected to pick a major until after you try out a bunch of different classes, and the same applies outside the classroom. Also, I haven’t been there yet, but I hear that in the real world you kind of need to have a plan, so enjoy this rare chance to just wing it for 4 years.
• Find out when the theme nights at John Jay are, skip your discussion section, and go! Tons of work goes into making those dinners happen, and they’re a hidden gem of an otherwise mediocre campus food scene.
• However, when John Jay isn’t having a theme night, you should not skip discussion section. Discussions are in a lot of ways the heart of the classic undergrad experience – you get to think about big questions, get things wrong, and learn from people who are smarter than you. For real, talk to your TAs! They’re there because they want to help.

Any regrets? Tons, actually. Classes I wish I had taken, people I wish I had gotten to know, talks by famous people I wish I had attended, typos in my thesis I wish I had spotted. But I really don’t think regrets are a bad thing – missed opportunities mean that I had those opportunities to begin with, which reminds me a) how lucky I’ve been to go here, and b) to live life even more fully after I leave. Seriously, though, I have no idea why my sophomore year self ever thought it was a good idea to suffer through linear algebra.

Whether you slept through Obama’s 90 minutes on South Lawn or you’re already ready to relive them, you can check out photos of the 2012 Barnard Commencement ceremony below. Send your own photos to tips@bwog.com, and we’ll add them!

Will it look something like this? We'll find out soon!

The time is now! President Barack Obama is slated to hit up Columbia’s very own South Lawn at 12:30 pm today (!) to give the commencement address to Barnard’s graduating class. We’ll keep you in the loop with lots of photos and details about the before/after/during. Send your own to tips@bwog.com!

For more live updates/frantic pun attempts, check out our twitter and watch the live feed.

2:40 pm: DSpar making closing remarks. We’ll see you at the “refreshments”!

2:17 pm: Aaaand we’re back. Names continue.

2:16 pm: Pause in the name readings… Hertz heard saying, “theatre?” Unclear why.

2:00 pm: DSpar: “Everybody can now take a deep breath.”

Now, for the degrees…

Names are being read, hands being shaken. Stand by.

AHinks hands the mic off to Acting Provost and Dean of Faculty Paul Hertz.

Tipster informs us that PrezBo left just after Obama’s speech—can anyone confirm or deny?

Two Lenas in a row! What are the odds.

1:59 pm: It’s over! Person behind podium with personal camera snaps one last back-of-the-head shot as he leaves…

He’s hugging people. We want to be those people!

1:29 pm: Shout out to PrezBo from PrezOb! We forgot the former was here…

“I’ll begin by telling a hard truth: I’m a Columbia College graduate.”

Apparently he and “Meryl” (as in Streep) are on a first-name basis. “Keep your friends close, and your Barnard Commencement speakers closer.”

Throwback to the Walkman! And possibly moon-walking. It’s unclear.

Has moved on to the economic crisis.

“This recession has been more brutal. The job losses steeper…”

Speaks of media coverage telling depressing stories.

“As tough as things have been, I’m convinced that you are tougher… I’ve heard your voices amplified by creativity and a digital fluency that some of us in older generations can barely comprehend.”

“The question is not whether things will get better—they always do. The question is not whether we have the solutions to our questions…”

Calling for clean energy!

“We know that we’re better off when there are rules that stop big banks from making bad bets with other people’s money…”

“We know that we are better off when women are treated fairly and equally in every aspect of American life whether it’s the salary you earn or the health decisions you make.”

So post-modern: “I recognize that that’s a cheap applause line” following assertion that women will lead the way. “But it’s true!”

“How far your leadership takes this country—how far it takes the world—is up to you. You’ve got to want it! It will not be handed to you.”

“Fight for a seat at the head of the table.”

~*ObamaFact: Women only account for 3% of the CEOs at Fortune 500 countries.*~

“If you decide not to seat yourself at the table, you have to make sure you have a say in who does.” #TableMetaphorContinues

“Don’t wait for the person next to you to be the first person to speak up for what’s right—because maybe, just maybe, they’re waiting for you.”

~*ObamaFact: More women graduate from college than men.*~

“Do not underestimate the power of your example.”

References the need for more women in fields like computer science and engineering.

“You can be stylish, and powerful too. That’s Michelle’s advice.”

Last piece of advice: “Persevere. Nothing worthwhile is easy.”

Allusion to going from “motley apartment to motley apartment.” Ruggles blushes.

Nobody showed up to Obama’s first big community meeting back when he was an undergrad! (He has yet to specify whether or not there was free food. We have our suspicions.)

His mom used to wake up him “before dawn” to study.

Anecdotes about raising young family with Michelle.

“Michelle saw how her parents never quit. They never indulged in self-pity, no matter how stacked the odds were against them. They didn’t quit.”

“They may not have set out to change the world, but in small important ways, they did.”

“Making your mark on the world is hard. It takes patience. It takes committment. It comes with plenty of setbacks and failures.”

“The trajectory of this country should give you hope. What young generations have done before should give you hope.”

“If you’re ready to fight for that brilliant, radically simple idea of America, then no matter who you are or what you look like, no matter who you love or what God you worship, you can still pursue your own happiness. I will join you every step of the way. Now more than ever, America needs what you—the Class of 2012—has to offer.”

1:28 pm: There’s so. much. applause.

1:26 pm: DSpar still giving introduction. Obama has totally perfected that aforementioned pensive resting face. Nice.

It’s over! He’s up!

1:25 pm: So much cheering! It’s like a Justin Bieber concert out here.

1:22 pm: Tipster wandering the streets reminds us that life exists outside of South Lawn. Apparently PrezOb is anti-umbrella?

1:21 pm: Woman directly behind podium spotted taking back-0f-head pic of Obama. Send it to tips!

1:19 pm: DSpar approaches the podium to give Obama the last Medal of Distinction. He’s so calm and collected.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

1:08 pm: Time for awarding of the Medals of Distinction.

Britney Wilson presents the first one to chem professor Sally Chapman.

Next one goes to Helene Gayle, BC ’76 and CEO of CARE USA, presented by anthro professor Paige West.

Evan Wolfson gets the third medal, presented by Judith Kaye, BC ’58.

Obama up next!

1:01 pm: Senior Daniele Lerner begins her Academic Reflections with a direct address to Obama.

Says Socrates is to Glaucon as The Creature is to Frankenstein.

Metaphor in which the collective we become the electrons in an atom’s valence shell works! Nightmarish flashbacks to GenChem, however, subsequently occur…

12:59 pm: Class fund co-chairs Jordana Kaminetsky and Eileen Smith present the Senior Gift.

12:57 pm: DSpar presents the Frank Gilbert Bryson Prize—decided via student vote—to… Madalena Provo. Congratulations!

12:49 pm: SGA’s Jessica Blank takes the stage.

Another reference to being President, with a coy glance at Obama!

Mention of #WomenHelpingWomen.

Throwback to Oprah on campus!

Quotes Albright, “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.”

12:43 pm: Next up, class president Jaclyn D’Aversa.

She speaks of a pre-college visit during which she met people who she thought would one day rule the world: “With all due respect Mr. President, it’s a good thing that none of the women in the class of 2012 are running for President this year.”

Everyone cheers audibly for “Art History major.”

Frost poem gets some play.

12:40 pm: DSpar opens ceremony. Jolyne Caruso-FitzGerald, BC ’81, takes the stage. Screen subtitles transcribes a “know” in her speech to “no”!

12:38 pm: Audience member aptly describes applause and cheering as, “literally deafening.”

12:37 pm: Obama takes the stage!!!!! He’s so smiley.

12:35 pm: They’re chanting “DSpar! DSpar! DSpar!”

12:34 pm: PrezBo just passed Bwog! In the flesh!

12:33 pm: Note to selves: before own graduations, perfect pensive stare for use in candid crowd shots.

12:31 pm: Profs and company getting lots of applause.

12:25 pm: “I’d hurt someone for pizza right now.” -Overheard from anonymous bystander that totally isn’t with us, we swear…

12:18 pm: Graduates still waiting to take seats. Despite program note, renegade audience members pointedly NOT remaining seated.

12:12 pm: It looks like this…

12:09 pm: Procession officially proceeding. Awwww.

12:08 pm: There’s clapping! The grads are standing and starting to walk!

12:00 pm: Half-hour to go ’til ceremony begins. Audience member describes atmosphere as “energetic, but still pretty casual.”

Overheard: communal acknowledgement of what seems to be a Best of Billy Joel playlist.

11:55 am: Sound of helicopters overhead. Possibly unrelated, but still dramatic!

11:40 am: Line for Lerner bathrooms stretches all the way to the lobby.

11:30 am: Got our grubby freshly showered hands on a program. Check it out:

You had us at "refreshments."

11:19 am: It’s raining a little… grasping for a metaphor…

11:15 am: Everyone is through security. A man is repeating strings of numbers into mic (presumably to check sound?)—it’s just like Lost. Also, they’re projecting a slideshow of commencement trivia/photos.

11:05 am: Crowd amasses; light sweatiness ensues.

That’s So Raven moment via Wikimedia Commons

Update: Dig the song? Listen and download here

If you’re looking to get a little nostalgic/teary-eyed in the privacy of your room (and the usual tricks just aren’t cutting it), you can thank Pat Blute, Evan Johnston, and Matt Star for the next 4 minutes of your morning:

You can find information about times, dates, and places of this week’s festivities after the jump.

So… click here if you want that information…

The school year might be over as far as final exams and cat-naps in Butler go, but as we learned last summer, there’s never a dull moment for the admin.

As SEAS seniors and their Dean get ready to tear up South Lawn, their student council remind us that there’s more to the story, with a newly released statement reaffirming their confidence in Dean Peña-Mora’s “commitment to undergraduate students.” You can check out all two paragraphs after the jump, but bear with us for a few bullets if you need a recap.

The quick-and-dirty:

• Last October, members of the SEAS faculty expressed dissatisfaction with Dean Peña-Mora’s stint at Columbia in the form of a letter to Provost Coatsworth
• However, we had no idea ’til it was leaked to/published by the NYT in early December; main complaints were that the Dean refused to listen to other staffers, and that his hiring decisions were made at the expense of academic interests
• At the time, Deaña-Mora declined to comment—but, last month, he sat down with Bwog and addressed some of the concerns outlined in the letter; Choice excerpt: “The departments are like states, and states have their interests. But the federal government has to do what’s best for the country as a whole. I need to make decisions that are best for SEAS as a whole.”
• But wait! That’s not all for leadership drama—way back when (and by “when” we mean “August”), former CC Dean Michele Moody-Adams rocked our worlds inboxes with a surprise resignation, to later be chalked up to lots of complicated questions about protecting the College and dubbed Moodygate
• Chem professor James Valentini took over as the interim Dean of the College back in early September, and earlier this month, he talked to Bwog about some of the issues facing the College.
• More than a month ago, PrezBo announced the formation of a student/faculty committee put in place to select a permanent Dean; just last week, the timeline for that decision got pushed back to the end of May “at the earliest”

And without further ado, check out ESC’s statement

"I want YOU to take a detour." -Obama

In case you’ve been successful in drinking enough since finals ended (read: have forgotten about what’s going on in the world around you), quick reminder: Obamanard happens tomorrow! We’ll be live blogging the festivities, so check us out when you wake up.

If you’re in the camp whose RSVP (in the form of a crumpled 1020 receipt used to trap ABC gum, of course) is “don’t care/won’t be attending,” keep in mind that there’ll be lots of annoying security precautions that block your access to campus. Below is an email from James McShane and Carrie Walker detailing what we can look forward to. And after the jump, check out an email from Housing about changes to the Hartley Broadway Hospitality Desk.

Members of the Columbia Community:

On Monday, May 14, President Barack Obama will be on the Morningside Campus to deliver the keynote address at the Barnard College ceremony, held on the South Field Lawns at 12:30 p.m. This message provides important information regarding the extensive security measures that will impact lower campus operations and access.

Please know the logistics outlined here may change at any point, subject to White House and Secret Service discretion. Updates will be posted to the Columbia homepage. We ask for your cooperation and flexibility given these extraordinary circumstances. As a precaution, please carry your University ID card with you at all times on Monday.

AREA OF RESTRICTED ACCESS: MIDNIGHT – 6:00 A.M. MONDAY

All gates south of 117th Street, Low Plaza, College Walk, South Field and the following buildings must be vacated and locked down. There will be no entry or activity permitted. 

Lower Campus

Journalism, Furnald, Lerner Hall, Carman, Butler Library, John Jay, Wallach, Hartley, and Hamilton

Upper Campus

Low Library, Kent, Dodge Hall and Miller Theater

LOWER CAMPUS ACCESS: 6:00 A.M. – 3:00 P.M. MONDAY

Entry to lower campus and its buildings will be limited on Monday. Those permitted to enter lower campus will be required to pass through magnetometer screening. Large bags and liquids will not be allowed. Access will be granted to the below groups at the locations specified.

Columbia University Faculty or Staff Reporting to Work on Lower Campus

Faculty or staff must have a University ID card and University-issued letter to verify they work in a lower campus building. If you have been instructed to report to work, but have not yet received this documentation, please see your immediate supervisor.

Lerner Hall and Print Services staff: 115th Street and Broadway, Lerner Hall gate

Hamilton staff: 115th Street and Amsterdam Avenue, Taint gate

Upon entry to these buildings, staff will not be permitted to exit onto campus.

Barnard College Ceremony Participants

Degree candidates and members of the academic procession: Lerner Hall, Broadway lobby entrance

General Admission ticket holders: 114th Street: Carman and John Jay gates

Guests with Disabilities, Press, and VIPs: 115th Street and Broadway, Lerner Hall gate

STREET AND GATE CLOSURES: MIDNIGHT – 3:00 P.M. MONDAY

In addition to areas specified here, there may be intermittent street and walkway closures during the President’s arrival and exit.

Street Closures

No parking will be permitted on 116th Street between Amsterdam Avenue and Morningside Drive. Additionally, there will be no parking on Amsterdam Avenue from 114th to 125th Street.

No parking will be permitted on the east side of Broadway from 114th to 120th Street.

There will be no parking on W. 114th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue. Additionally, this street will be closed to vehicular traffic.

Pedestrian traffic on 114th Street will be restricted to the south side of the street.

Sidewalk traffic along campus on both Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue will be restricted, from 114th to 117th Street.

Campus Closures

The 116th Street gates, College Walk and Low Plaza will be closed.

The Amsterdam Avenue overpass will be closed.

The Bookstore, Butler Library, Dodge Hall, Furnald, Carman, John Jay, Hartley and Wallach will all be closed.

Hamilton, Journalism, and Kent will be closed, except for personnel already identified.

The Intercampus Shuttle 116th Street, Northbound stop will be moved to 117th Street.

Administrative and Student Mail delivery, as well as external couriers to lower campus will be suspended and the Lerner Hall Student Package Center will be closed Monday.

UPPER CAMPUS ACCESS

Access to Dodge and Kent Halls will be restricted as described above. All other buildings on upper campus will follow normal University operations on Monday.

Updates to campus logistics will be posted on the Columbia homepage. A webcast of the ceremony can be accessed via the Commencement website.

As an additional reminder, Commencement Week activities begin Sunday, May 13 and University Commencement will be held Wednesday, May 16. Look for an email early next week outlining campus logistics for this great University-wide celebration.

Sincerely,

James F. McShane, Vice President

Columbia University Public Safety

Carrie Walker, Executive Director

University Programs and Events

Read Housing’s email about the Hartley Hospitality Desk