Bwoglines: Laugh Out Loud and Lots Of Love Edition
"....And that is why you were named Marsh..."

“….And that is why you were named Marsh…”

Yesterday was Earth Day. Naturally, say, if you had a baby yesterday, you would want to commemorate the moment by giving your baby an earth themed name. Thankfully USA Today came out with a list. Personal favorites are Moss and Glade. (USA Today)

Amy Schumer makes us laugh, but apparently doesn’t make Kanye laugh at all. On Tuesday, at the Time 100 Gala, Amy intentionally took a tumble on the red carpet in front of Kim and Kanye. While Amy reenacted a Wayne’s World “we’re not worthy” bow down, Kanye uncomfortably looked down and walked around her. (CNN)

BMW has lost all faith in their drivers. The upcoming 7 Series is a self parking driving machine. No need to learn how to parallel park anymore; you just need to stand back and watch. It will be the most expensive valet you ever pay for. The release date has not been set. (Huffington post)

RIP Tinkerbell. Paris Hilton’s original BFF, her chihuahua, died on Tuesday. “My heart is broken…” We feel for you Paris and send you LOL. (jezebel)

Baby in the woods via shutterstock

A Dad Walks Into Diana…
"You must get a lot of female applicants, right?"

*insert bad dad joke*

These past two weekends were admitted students days for prospective first-years at Barnard, and squealing youths took over our campus with their parents in tow. However, our favorite part about Barnard visitors are the confused dads that really have no idea what’s going on and fear their daughter will be a lesbian after going to Barnard. To take a look at the dad perspective, Barnard Babe Courtney Couillard brings us a prospective student’s dad’s thoughts while touring Barnard for the first time. 

Ahh, the day is finally here. After 17 years of raising a wonderfully perfect child (ok, I’m a little biased,) she is finally deciding where to go to college. New York seems like a pretty cool place to go to school considering we’re from New England and the most excitement she can get there is a trip to Boston to see the Blue Man Group. I’ve never heard of this Bernard College, (oh it’s Barnard? Sorry) but it sounds pretty cool and she’s into it so I guess I am, too.

It took us roughly thirty minutes to find the college because we exited the subway on the Columbia side of the street and didn’t know there was another college on the other side of the street. I did a quick head nod to the other dads in the tour group to express dad solidarity. I like to think they understand me. To be honest, I’m not even sure what it means to be an “all-women’s” college. I’ve been pretty much just going off the assumption she’s going to a modern-day nunnery minus the whole becoming a nun thing when she graduates.

The tour guide seems a little too enthusiastic about the school and keeps saying the words “bold, beautiful Barnard.” Do you think there’s a t-shirt in the bookstore that says that?

Musings on feminism and more after the jump…

GSSC Debates Removing A Computer Lab From Lerner
old computer

Out with the computer lab, in with a study lounge!

Bureau chief and campus politics connoisseur Joseph Milholland is back again this week to bring you the latest from last night’s General Studies Student Council meeting.

The administrators who run Lerner Hall want to turn the computer lab on the first floor (near TIC) into a study lounge, according to General Studies Student Council president Peter Nason, who asked his council for input at the Tuesday night general body meeting. The lab, which receives less computer use than Lerner’s 3rd floor lounge, would still have its printers, but its Macs would be taken away.

The idea received a mixed reception from the council members. Several council members commented on the difficulties of using a print station without Columbia computers nearby and asked for some computers to remain, but Nason seemed skeptical the administration would want to keep some computers.

Usenator Katherine Celentano and others mentioned seeing the lab crowded in the past. In response, Nason said that CUIT had accumulated data that showed both Lerner computer labs were being under-used. The data also showed that the first floor lab was being used to print, whereas the third floor lab was being used for longer work.

Nason meets with the Lerner Advisory Committee on Friday, where this issue will be discussed more.

Celentano also gave several University Senate updates, particularly the senate’s work on the Dodge Gym and family policy. While mentioning that the “supporter list keeps growing” for the gym changes, Celentano mentioned that she needs research on functional fitness equipment and gyms at peer institutions. As for family policy, Celentano is looking for a research over the summer. While not a formal internship, Celentano said she was happy to give out a title and letter of recommendation for the job.

Other Updates:

  • VP of Policy Elizabeth Heyman is looking into whether shuttling undergrads to JFK during finals would be a good idea. The buses can hold 38 people, and at $20 per person, they break even. The buses would be open to all four undergrad schools; however, GSSC is still trying to assess the demand for it.
  • Lerner Hall is also going to renovate the Cafe 212 area to make it “more of a student center,” according to Nason.
  • VP of Finance Ian Hewitt had a F@CU pre-meeting in order to, in Hewitt’s words, “brace for impact when it happens.”

A computer fit for a GS-er via Shutterstock

AskBwog: Prospective Romance Edition
the one trick girls don't want you to know

Use this tactic on gentlemen only

We get it–maybe you first fell for your prospie when you saw him carrying an ugly armchair you found on the street up four flights of stairs to your room, or maybe it was when you looked into her big blue eyes over fries at JJ’s. Though Days on Campus is over for the semester, check out these tips for seducing new students on campus (perhaps to be used during NSOP).

Dear Bwog,

Help, the prospie I’m hosting is super attractive! How do I get them out of their sleeping bag and into bed?

Crushing on Pre-frosh

Dear Crushing,

The good news is, prospies are people too! This means that you can seduce them with similar methods to your usual awkward one-night stands. First, a couple of warnings:

  • Know your age of consent. Unless you’re taking your prospie in a whirlwind tour of the entire world (or, as Deantini would call it, “Columbia’s global campus”), you’re probably operating within New York state laws. Most prospies are above 17, which makes it legal but still creepy. If they’re 15 or 16, you’re fine as long as you’re 21 or younger, which is unfortunately still legal.
  • Know your consent. Use this as an opportunity to show your prospie how great Columbia’s consent education is! As always, constant communication is key. While not explicitly required, we recommend asking your prospie for permission to seduce them. Alternatively, paint SVR’s stoplight metaphor on your chest to help the prospie get hands-on experience.

Now, Momma Bwog always has commenters at her feet, so we haven’t had to use any of our additional seduction tips in a while. Our charmed life has led us to forget many of our favorite romantic techniques. Thankfully, the internet is full of bad advice on attracting that person of your dreams. Unfortunately, most of them are prohibitively specific:

Tips for rebels and gentlemen after the jump

Commuter Swipe Access For Residence Halls Re-Instated
Peek behind the Carman desk...

Peek behind the Carman desk…

Earlier this morning, students received an email announcing that CC/SEAS students who commute will be given dorm swipe access starting in the fall. This announcement comes after discussions and proposals from both CCSC and ESC. Because of the various non-residential services of our residential halls, such as drop-in counseling hours with CPS, this change in policy will allow students who choose to live off-campus greater ease in accessing such resources. You can read the full statement from Dean Kromm below:

Following the review of proposals from CCSC and ESC, I am pleased to announce that we will be re-instating commuter swipe access in fall 2015. Currently enrolled CC/SEAS undergraduates who do not live in the residence halls will be able to apply for swipe access into the CC/SEAS undergraduate residence halls during the academic year. Commuters must be in good judicial standing to receive access and will agree to the terms of the Guide to Living while in the halls. The full policy will be available in the Guide to Living this summer.

I appreciate the work of CCSC, ESC, and various campus partners on this initiative and, moving forward, hope to continue to foster similar collaborations around issues that deeply impact student and community life.

Cristen Kromm, Dean of Undergraduate Student Life

That guy is definitely bumping Mike’s mixtape via Shutterstock

Freshpeople Housing Reviews 2015: John Jay

Continuing our assistance for pre-frosh housing selection, here is the third installment of Freshpeople Housing Review, in which we examine that most august residence hall, John Jay.

Location: 548 W 113th St.

  • Nearby dorms: Hartley, Wallach, with Furnald and Carman a College Walk away.
  • Food: Two of three dining halls (John Jay and JJ’s Place), Strokos, HamDel, and Camille’s.


  • Nearby places: Right above two dining halls, to your scale’s growing burden.
  • Bathrooms: Renovated floors have single use, gender neutral bathrooms, while the increasingly few left unrenovated feature the traditional separate boys’ and girls.’
  • AC/Heating: No AC; heating, left outside your control.
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Every floor has a lounge, though renovated have better furniture (as could be expected). Every lounge features a whiteboard wall, which adds both to the intellectual aesthetic, and to your ability to successfully complete your problem sets. Unrenovated floors have a “kitchenette” consisting of a grimy sink and microwave. Renovated floors have microwaves in the lounges, but no kitchenettes.
  • Laundry: Currently none; they use the one below Hartley (shared by Wallach) but likely due to this compromise, it is currently free.
  • Intra-transportation: Two sluggish elevators. Lines are common. Beware if you’re on the 15th floor; the elevators only reach 14. This makes moving in and out a hassle for these “Penthouse” residents.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: It varies.
  • Computers/Printers: Two printers in the lobby, and easy access to the Hartley computer lounge.
  • Gym: Nope.
  • Wi-Fi: everywhere, but no ethernet.
  • Special Stuff: Dining halls and campus health are right downstairs. Also love.

But what do the residents think?

Bwoglines: There Is Hope Edition
We see the light!

We see the light!

As he promised back in 2012, Waka Flocka Flame announced his presidency (on 4/20). Despite the fact that he’s not old enough to be president (he’s 28), we at Bwog think his platform sounds pretty solid. (Rolling Stone)

A study of nearly 100,000 children re-confirmed that the measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine is not linked to autism. (Huffington Post)

If you haven’t already heard, Netflix ordered a Full House spin-off (called “Fuller House”) about characters D.J., Stephanie, and Kimmy. (ABC News)

As if we didn’t know this was going to happen: Jay-Z’s “Tidal” has already left the iTunes Top 700 list of apps, and people are deeming the business venture a failure. (Jezebel)

#spendmoretimeonLowBeach via Shutterstock

From Court To Classroom, Troy Murphy Is A Star
Going to the basket like the pro he is

Going to the basket like the pro he is

In 2001, as a college junior at Notre Dame, Troy Murphy left his academic career behind in the hopes of joining the National Basketball Association and pursuing a dream. Later that year, that dream—so elusive for so many—would come true when Murphy was drafted as the 14th pick in the first round of the 2001 NBA Draft. After a solid 12-year career with many NBA teams, Murphy decided to leave behind basketball and finish his degree at Columbia’s School of General Studies. Max Rettig spoke with Troy yesterday, where he discussed his life, his NBA career and his academic ambitions. 

MaxWhat is life like for you at Columbia? The recent New York Times profile came out with the headline “A Big Man in the N.B.A., but Not on Campus at Columbia.” Do you feel that way? Do people recognize you, even though you’re trying to keep a low profile? Are you trying to keep a low profile?  

Troy Murphy: I think when I went back to school, one of the attractive characteristics about Columbia is the fact that they have this General Studies program where they have people from nontraditional backgrounds…so I fit that bill having a nontraditional background. I’ve just tried to immerse myself in the whole experience, and it’s been really interesting. A great learning experience and growing experience for me.

In terms of people knowing who I am, yeah, I think, some of the athletes knew I played basketball and stuff, so there were a fair amount.

M: How involved are you in the campus sports scene? Do you pay attention to the basketball team, go to games at all? You had a successful NBA career–do you consult for the basketball team at all? Do you have any connections with individual players?

T: Yeah, I’ve been to a couple games this year, and went to a couple games last year. I only started in January last year… I haven’t been to any NBA games since I was a player. I’d like to go, but schoolwork takes up a large amount of my time… On weekends, especially since football has ended, and they’ve put the NBA games on on Sundays and stuff, I’m able to catch those, so those are fun. I’ll catch those, and now that the playoffs are starting, I’m trying to tape the games and watch them a little bit.

I root for the teams I’ve played for, and for some of the guys I’ve played with. Rooting for Golden State—they’ve had an unbelievable year—and then I’m also rooting for Chicago in the Eastern Conference too, so I enjoy it as a fan now.

M: You last played for the Mavericks. How was playing for Mark Cuban?

T: It’s pretty cool. He’s really involved, more so than any other owner on any other team I’ve played for. He’s right there, he’s on the plane, you have direct access to him. He makes his presence felt. He definitely lets you know how he feels.

M: You were drafted in the same first round as some all-star players, namely Jason Richardson, Tony Parker, and Pau Gasol, as well as Jason Collins, the first openly gay player in the NBA. Do you have any thoughts on being part of such a successful and historical draft class? 

T: Yeah, I never really thought about it like that. I’m proud to be part of a draft class that had a lot of successful players. I know a lot of people give the 2000 class a tough time, so to be part of the 2001 class is probably better. ….we have guys that are still contributing in the NBA. I think Tony Parker was part of that class, Pau Gasol, it had some great European players. That was the year that a lot of high school guys came out and a first-time high school guy was picked number one, so it was a good class to be a part of, yeah.

Read Troy’s thoughts on the NBA, NCAA and school

So You Want To Be A Core Professor

Every grad student’s dream… actually, everyone’s dream. period.

Ever wonder what getting hired to teach a Core class as a grad student is like? Bwog’s own Monday Daily Lili Brown sat down with Nathan Schumer, a grad student hired to teach CC in the fall, and asked some stellar questions that get to the CORE (great pun!!) of the interview process. Check it out below!!

The central component of Columbia’s undergraduate academic experience is undoubtedly the Core. Love it or hate it, the Core isn’t going anywhere. It ensures that every student here, regardless of major, is involved in the humanities throughout their undergraduate career on Columbia’s grounds.

Since the Core carries such weight for undergraduate students here, the position of Core instructor carries its own honor in teaching these standardized courses that unite Columbia students academically. Core instructors’ backgrounds vary despite the largely consistent nature of the standardized courses they teach; some might be tenured professors, while some might be graduate students only a few years older than the first-years they teach.

The process of becoming a graduate student preceptor for a Core class does not favor or accommodate all qualified graduate students, for the University also hires a group of degree-holding lecturers and professors from within Columbia and other schools each year. Teaching CC or Lit Hum with an unfinished dissertation involves a tedious and competitive application process, and the numbers might not match how commonly you hear a friend talk about their graduate student-teacher.

Newly hired to teach CC starting in the fall, Nathan Schumer (GS/JTS ‘08) broke away from his Butler carell and offered Bwog some insight on the inner workings of the hiring process for graduate students here.

Lili: In terms of the selection process and interview process, were you approached because you are an existing graduate student in the humanities at Columbia? Or did you also have to apply?

Nathan: You always have to apply. They send around a call for applications for a lot of the Core stuff, I’ve gotten emails asking me to apply to be an instructor for University Writing as well as to teach certain kinds of humanities classes in certain departments like Latin American and African Studies. It’s all run through the Core office.

L: What is the application like?

N: The application process begins with sending in a brief cover letter about yourself, and your CV. You send in a separate application to each class you want to teach; I sent in one app to Lit Hum, another to CC. Each class asks for very similar cover letters, but you actually have to show that you have more interest in teaching one over the other.

The interview continues after the jump.

Freshpeople Housing Reviews 2015: Barnard Quad

Our freshpeople housing reviews have begun, and up next is the cozy Barnard Quad. This is the only option for all you baby Bears, so get acquainted to this quaint outdoor table setup and overwhelming presence of brick. Read on for specifics, and check back for more housing reviews later on in the week!


Location: Brooks, Reid, Sulzberger Halls, overflow first-year housing in doubles and triples in Hewitt Hall; 3009 Broadway (corner of 116th and Broadway)

  • Nearby dorms: Schapiro, the 600s, Claremont, Elliott
  • Nearby food: Ollie’s (closed), Vine (also closed), Morton Williams, Hewitt dining hall, Liz’s Place!

Cost: $8,700/year, the standard rate for any multi-occupancy room in Barnard housing system


  • Bathrooms: Corridor style floor bathrooms, two female-only and two gender-neutral bathrooms per floor. Cleaned everyday by facilities
  • AC/Heating: No AC except for in Sulzberger, so make sure you bring three outfits to wear per day during NSOP, and high-class fans. Reid, Hewitt, and Brooks can’t control their heating, so every day that it’s below 55 degrees outside the heat will be blasting regardless. We recommend keeping a window cracked all year cause the Quad gets HOT
  • Floor kitchen/lounge: One lounge per floor that has comfy faux-leather couches, a roundtable with chairs, and a fully functional shared kitchen with a stove, microwave, sink, and oven
  • Building lounge: There is a carpeted TV lounge on the first floor of Brooks that has couches and a TV and piano, and it connects to a larger, beautiful study lounge primarily stocked with lazy first-years who don’t want to put on clothes/shoes to study. The lobby of Sulzberger has a spread of couches and a large TV that is on at random times with no clear audience
  • Computers/Printers: There is a computer lab in the basement of Sulzberger that has reliable computers but not reliable printer use
  • Gym: No, but the gym in Barnard Hall is so close by that you can walk there in shorts in the winter and only have your legs exposed for about 7 seconds
  • Wifi: Yes, the Barnard internet system
  • Floors: Linoleum the color of distilled piss in Brooks, same flooring material for Reid/Sulz except a more aesthetically pleasing white color. Rugs recommended if you want that “comfy and cute” PB Teen dorm room look

I’m only going to have one roommate, right?!

SGA Gets Crazy On 4/20

Look closely here, kids

This Barnard Bearoness knows how to separate work from play. Shoutout to Maddie Stearn for always being committed to the grind and for hookin it up with all the news that’s goin on around town this week (and every week). Read on to learn juicy details about WBAR-B-Q and open SGA positions in this week’s SGA report. 

Things got a little wild at Monday night’s SGA meeting. The normally subdued Rep Council engaged in a plethora of unusual activities, including boisterous cheering, thunderous applause, and even some fake crying. The liveliness was understandable considering what day it was: the first meeting since the end of elections. The newly elected SGA members were present to introduce themselves for the first time, and of course the Rep Council could not contain its elation.

The out of the ordinary meeting lasted only 30 minutes, doubtless because the incoming and outgoing members had to conduct some secret rituals during the internal portion. Putting speculations aside, things did calm down a bit after the introductions. The rest of the external meeting was conducted in its usual fashion and the Rep Council heard two proposals from JCCC. The first was for the Asian Graduation Reception, which requested emergency funding for lapel pins (to be handed out to all seniors who attend the event). The committee in charge of acquiring the pins fell apart so the group requested funding from JCCC. SGA voted unanimously to provide the $565 (split among SGA, CCSC, and ESC) needed for the pins. The second proposal came from the Men’s Volleyball team for $2,104. VP of Finance Pascale Dugue recommended that SGA not supply funding as there are no Barnard students on the Men’s Volleyball team. SGA took Dugue’s recommendation and voted against the proposal.

It’s called a

Bwoglines: A Slice Of That Edition

Our pizza jokes can’t be TOPPED (lol!)

B*tch better have my pizza!!! Singer Rihanna was recently spotted vacationing in Hawaii wearing a pizza-patterned bathing suit. Peep the photos on the singer’s Instagram to see the look for yourself. (Huffpost Canada)

Tax season is a drag for us all, but Pizza Hut is making this time of year a bit easier with the “Pizza Hut National Pizza Return.” The company created a form that models itself off of the W-2 form, and a submission gives people the individuals the chance to win their “net pizza return” in gift card rewards. (Huffpost)

The cheese supplier for Pizza Hut, Domino’s, and Papa John’s pizza recently enacted an animal welfare policy as a response to a video that depicted dairy farm workers severely beating cows. Good to know that the cheese on your pizza is ethical!! (

A local CBS station in Boston put pizza-flavored snacks to the ultimate taste test… find out which treats mimic the real thing best by clicking on the link. (


pun city via Shutterstock

Field Notes: It Was Near 80 Degrees On Saturday Edition
You, chilling & relaxing all cool on campus lawns

You, chilling & relaxing all cool on campus lawns

And therefore we’ve lost motivation to stay inside and focus on anything important. We used the rain today to retreat quickly back to bed and reminisce on a Saturday not too far gone where shorts and sitting on grass coincided. Pray with us for similar weather next weekend at

A high of 77 degrees

  • “Carried 8 bottles of champagne in a skyy vodka box from 123rd to 114th and into carman all for my friend’s birthday.”
  • “Got my fake ID taken at Cannon’s but it’s okay because I was able to buy it back for the low price of $40. Never going to Cannon’s again.”
  • “Waited on two gay dads to abandon their booth at 1020 for literally 45 minutes. Eventually I was triumphant. Drank with Bwog.”
  • “I went to the American Museum of Natural History and saw literally 100s of animals I never knew existed bc I grew up in Texas. Who knew there was more to life than horses and armadillos?”
  • “Baked. Brownies, not weed. Saw fireworks on Saturday night with a couple of friends and felt the happiest I have in a while. Hosted a prospie, slowly informed her that her long distance relationship, while possibly sustainable, will almost definitely fizzle in college.”
  • “Went to Saint A’s and discovered the most basic social scene at Columbia.”
  • “Played water polo all weekend. Columbia came in third at the New York Division Championship. Reunited with spring break pals and drank Piñas.”
  • “I found…a quarter of melon in my bag.”

Which have now been cleared via Shutterstock

Freshpeople Housing Reviews 2015: Carman

Our freshpeople housing reviews have begun, and we’re starting with Carman! Infamously wild social, Carman is a great place to live if you want to make friends and don’t mind cinder block walls and the occasional vomit stains on the carpet. Read on for specifics, and check back for more housing reviews later on in the week!

Don't worry it's just as drab on the inside

Location: 545 W. 114th Street

  • Nearby dorms: Hogan, Broadway, Furnald, LLC, John Jay, McBain, Nussbaum, and pretty much everywhere else…
  • Nearby food: All of Broadway at your disposal, including but not limited to Starbucks, International Wine and Spirits, Milano’s, Deluxe, Nussbaum & Wu, Amir’s, etc., and Amsterdam isn’t far either.

It gets better…

Pulitzers In Pulitzer
That J-School building

That J-School building

The 2015 winners of the Pulitzer Prize were announced this afternoon in Pulitzer Hall at Columbia University, per tradition. You find a livestream of the event here.

Notable winners include the winner of the Public Service category, The Post and Courier, for publishing a series on why South Carolina is such a dangerous state for women. The Los Angeles Times and The New York Times both won two categories each for their staff’s work. In regard to one of the largest stories of the year, the Ebola outbreak, photographer Daniel Berehulak was awarded the Feature Photography category. Please find the full list of winners below.


PUBLIC SERVICE – The Post and Courier, Charleston, SC


INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING – Two Prizes: – Eric Lipton of The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal Staff

EXPLANATORY REPORTING – Zachary R. Mider of Bloomberg News

More winners next.