Bwog’s Costume Closet: Penis Fountain & Fountain Girl
fountain couple

Cutest couple on campus

Now that we’re just four days away from Halloween, it’s time to fight back against whatever blankness comes to mind upon hearing “Halloween costume” (because our Halloween costume contest is super competitive!!!). For those of you social enough to have a significant other/a friend/ a loose acquaintance, we salute you and hand you the couple costume of the year on a silver platter. Claire Friedman, most notably known for her role as Marnie in all three Halloweentown movies, gives the how-to for you and your special someone to dress like a real Columbia throwback: A Penis Fountain and Fountain Girl. 

You (The Penis Fountain) Will Need:

  • A nude body suit and swim cap
  • A squirt gun
  • A baby pool
  • A pair of suspenders
  • Some heavy-duty scissors


Step 1: put on your body suit and swim cap. If you’re doing this right, you should now resemble a human penis.

Step 2: cut a hole big enough for your hips in the base of the baby pool.

Step 3: attach the suspenders to the sides of the baby pool and wear them over your shoulders. The pool should hang around hip-height.

Step 4: fill up your squirt gun and go out into the world.

**note: people will think you dressed as an penis in a baby pool for Halloween. That means you’re doing it right.


This stellar outfit will probably run between $40 and $50. But hey, you know you’ll use that nude bodysuit again to dress up as a penis.

You (Fountain Girl) Will Need:

  • A grey shirt
  • Orange/ coral pants
  • A “no fucks given” attitude


Step 1: dance around your Penis Fountain partner. Depending on the structural integrity of your partner’s costume, feel free to climb on/ bask in the baby pool until asked to stop.


This costume will cost between $20 and $30 but, unfortunately, you can’t buy her infinite awesomeness.

Illustration by Taylor Grasdalen.

Round Of Applause For The V121 C-Team

DSC_0213Say hello to who will bring this year’s Varsity Show to life – your V121 C-Team! This clearly talented group of students consists of mainly newcomers to the C-Team life, which should bring your anticipation of this year’s show to a whole new level. The Varsity Show held interviews for positions on the C-Team and here are the long-awaited results:

Director: Molly Heller, JTS/GS ’15 (Actor V119)

Producers: Nikita Ash, BC ’16 and Emily Snedeker, CC ’16 (Publicity Manager V120)

Composers/Lyricists: Sam Balzac, CC ’17 (Actor V120) and Fernanda Douglas, CC ’16 (Actor V119)

Writers: Ally Horn, BC ’16 and Bijan Samareh, CC ’15

Choreographer: Chloe Durkin, CC ’15

Art Director: Isabella Rosner, CC ’17 (Costume Designer V120)

If you happen to see these celebrities among us, be sure to extend your congratulations to them, or else you might be an object of satire in V121.

Group shot courtesy of Nikita Ash & Emily Snedeker


Weekend Sports Wrap: Redemption At Baker
is swerve a technical term

Christina Freibott, swerving through defenders as always

After just another average sporting weekends at Columbia (that we properly prepared you for), Ross Chapman presents you with what you might have missed while – we hope – you were doing anything except watching f****ball. 

Saturday wasn’t a fantastic day for the teams up at Baker Athletic Complex or on those on the road. But you can read all about that at the bottom of the article. On Sunday, however, the field hockey team (11-4, 4-1 Ivy) came out with a hunger for revenge against the Big Green. By halfway through the first half, the score was already 2-0. By the end of the half, the Lions had beaten the goalkeeper once more and extended the lead to 3-0. Whitney Hartstone, Katie Ruesterholz, and Christina Freibott all contributed points (goals or assists) to the Lions total, representing the freshman, sophomore, and junior classes. Two time consecutive Ivy League Player of the Week Freibott led the way for Columbia again this week. She teamed up with Ruesterholz and scored the third goal of the game, and before that set up Zoe Blake’s penalty corner goal in the 12th minute. But Sunday, from a symbolic perspective, was all about the seniors.

The members of the class of 2015 on the team (all CC) received bonus applause during the game as the team celebrated Senior Day. The student-athletes all appeared in a video before the game talking about some of their time with the team. “It’s been an incredible experience,” recounted midfielder Zoe Blake. “It couldn’t have been better.” A lot of players pointed to the winning seasons and the team’s historic defeat of Princeton earlier in the season, but that’s not to say that the women are all business, all the time. Time together on the field and in hotels breeds comeraderie like few other things can, and that manifests itself in more ways that winning. “I can’t mention favorite moments without charades,” said Senior goalkeeper Marlee Silverstein, laughing about late night diversions.

Silverstein has taken a bit of a backseat this season to her underclassman Kimberly Pianucci. But in the final three minutes of the game, coach Marybeth Freeman pulled Pianucci and put Sliverstein in the goal. When the clock ticked down to zero, Silverstein’s parents, who came up to Baker for the game, watched with all of the other fans as the six seniors on the team finished their last home game on the field and celebrated in unison. The team still has two important away games until they complete their season, but the team’s seniors deserved a chance to celebrate with the Columbia fans.

News on soccer, volleyball, and two flavors of rowing after the jump

Become The Socialite You’ve Always Wanted To Be With WiGo

imageAn app has come to Columbia’s campus that alleviates all going-out anxiety by making the entire experience transparent. With WiGo, you can post yourself as “going out” the second you leave the apartment you pre-gamed in and find out what parties are happening around campus, what everyone else is up to, or who else will be joining you for the evening.

The concept is the brainchild and extension of one of Mark Zuckerberg’s many dorm room revelations about the social experience of college: people care about going out and seeing certain people (or dodging certain ones). And downloading WiGo might mean you can say goodbye to vague text messaging or scouring 1020 for that one familiar face – just track them down on your phone!

Since we’re known for being a good time, look for Bwog on WiGo.

CCSC Grills Scott Wright On Student Life Issues
We're frustrated & CCSC knows it

We’re frustrated & CCSC knows it

Things might have gotten a little heated at last night’s CCSC meeting, and the devout Sunday night spectator Joe Milholland is here as always to keep you in the loop. 

In 1999, when VP of Campus Services Scott Wright was touring Columbia, as he looked at Lerner, the new student center, he commented to his tour guide, “I don’t know why you put a spiral staircase for the construction workers because you sure as hell wouldn’t do it for a restaurant.”

As he related this story to the Columbia College Student Council Sunday night, he was also able to announce that a new staircase is coming to Ferris, probably not over winter break, but likely over Spring Break or over summer. Wright, however, is “not exactly sure what they’re going to do” to put in a better staircase.

Wright took several other questions from CCSC. Class of 2015 VP Jackson Tse asked about environmental stewardships. Wright talked about some initiatives students and admins are working on. For example, admins are looking at what’s being recycled in Carman and EC – the two locations, according to Wright, are a “good place to start, at least in terms of bottles” – and 70% of the trash in Carman is recyclable. Wright also talked about his enthusiasm for Green Mondays. “When you eat a steak, you’re eating something like someone’s five year supply of water,” Wright said. He also said meatless Mondays for all of NYC would be equivalent to 98 million trees a year.

Frustrations about mail, promising new meal times, and more CCSC magic after this nifty jump

Bwoglines: It’s A Wild, Wild World Edition
Last seen as your Windows XP screen saver

Last seen as your Windows XP desktop screen saver

Call this season what you want – fall, autumn, midterms, flu/ebola…according to this article, ’tis the season for more vehicle-wildlife collisions on our nation’s highways. (NY Times)

The latest expense of taxpayer money is the funding of methods to decrease the 1.5 million wild pigs roaming the United States. The clock is ticking for the EPA to act on this legitimized reversal on the Endangered Species Act. (USA Today)

Don’t have plans for fall break yet? Take the easy trip down to Baltimore and make your childhood-self happy by visiting a 3-D exhibition of Where The Wild Things Are. (WBAL)

Nothing sounds more tragic than the ice hockey team, the Minnesota Wild, having a team retreat in the owner’s summer home that was tarnished by a house fire – the ultimate fire vs. ice showdown. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

A Washington state couple will receive a prestigious “Voice of The Wild Award” for their efforts in raising “greater awareness of the importance of protecting and preserving Alaska’s wilderness. The two share a love story and lifetime achievements that even has Chris McCandless smiling somewhere. (The Seattle Times)

Life outside of the city via Shutterstock

The Importance of Being Earnest: A Review
'Earnest' Poster

‘Earnest’ Poster

For today’s riveting review, theatre critic Hannah Kramer brings you her thoughts on King’s Crowd Shakespeare Troupe’s performance of The Importance of Being Earnest.

Do you know what is a really funny word that more people should definitely work into daily life? ‘Bunbury’, or the verb ‘bunburying’. Maybe not, since it seems to mean lying about having a relative/sick friend in order to blame your bad behavior on someone else. But it works out pretty well for the characters in “The Importance of Being Earnest,” so maybe it’s okay.

Either way, KCST’s performance of “The Importance of Being Earnest” this weekend was full of bunburying, muffins, and laughter. Seriously, it’s impressive to think about how many muffins those actors must have eaten over the last few weeks while putting this show together. You’ve got to respect that dedication, both to the theater and to muffins.

Oscar Wilde’s play is a classic, the kind of classic you were probably forced to read in high school while your teacher exclaimed about its hilarity and your eyes glazed over. It was published in the late 19th century, so it’s in the kind of English that is totally understandable if you listen closely but also kind of annoying to interpret. Luckily, KCST’s production made the slightly out-of-date dialogue relatable and (most importantly) hilarious.

Hilarity in “The Importance of Being Earnest” came from a number of places, of which my favorite was the characters’ accents. Accents are funny, particularly well-done, and were a great combination of the affected tone of the grossly wealthy, Victorian English and 1950’s city slickers. Sounds weird, but it was effective.

Read more ‘Earnest’ after the jump!

Open Forum Tonight

On Monday, we issued an apology regarding the events that occurred following the Rules of Protest Town Hall.

As stated in the Note On Change, we are committed to redefining our online presence in a way that puts the needs of Columbia University students first. In order to make this change, though, we need your input.

Tonight at 8PM in the SGO of Lerner (5th floor), following our weekly Bwog meeting, we’ll be hosting an open forum, in which all members of the Columbia University community are invited to contribute to this reshaping process.

We hope to see you there.

Bwog’s Costume Closet: NSLOP
NSLOP and her new friend Chateau Diana

NSLOP and her new friend Chateau Diana

What better way to keep procrastinating take a break from studying than by planning your Halloween costume to enter in our costume contest? Out of ideas you say? Fear not. Our spooky spectacular costume creator Claire Friedman has come up with another idea for those too busy to be original: NSLOP.

You Will Need:

  • An NSOP bracelet
  • A well-worn “NSOP: Step Up” shirt (no, not this Step Up)
    • Alternatively: brand new Columbia apparel.
  • A box of “wine product” that contains 0% alcohol


Step 1: Wear the NSOP shirt and bracelet and adopt an expression of wide-eyed innocence.

Step 2: Tell as many people as you can about the crazzzyyyy Carman party you went to last night and how insanely drunk you are RIGHT NOW.

Step 3: Repeatedly get confused about your location. Here are some example phrases you might want to use:

  • “How do I get to EC? I heard that there are always parties going on there!”
  • “So we’re meeting in front of the library right? Okay, I’ll see you by Low in a few!”
  • “Does 1,020 check IDs that strictly? I don’t have a fake yet, so I was planning on using this picture of myself I drew with a crayon.”

Cost: Being a freshman. Also, the price of wine product (roughly $15).

Illustration via Taylor Grasdalen.

Spooky Bwog Meeting Tonight!
Why isn't anyone dressed up as NSLOP?

Why isn’t anyone dressed up as NSLOP?

Interested in hearing about all of the spooky, scary, halloween things we have in store? Fear not, curious creature. We have just the suggestion (no tricks involved this time, only treats).

Come to the weekly Bwog meeting tonight in the SGO on the 5th floor of Lerner at 7PM to hear about all things Bwog-o-ween related. Food, friends, and fun are guaranteed, but there may also be candy, if you wear a costume, that is.

Trick-or-Treaters via Shutterstock

Barnard Celebrates 125th Anniversary With Founders Day
New 'Barnard Way' sign unveiled

New ‘Barnard Way’ sign unveiled

In celebrating Barnard’s 125 Anniversary with Founder’s Day, the college has just revealed a new sign at the corner of Broadway and 116th.

Today only from 11:00 AM – 4:00 PM, Barnard is opening its doors to the public to celebrate its history and legacy in women’s education.

According to Barnard’s press release, the following free activities will be available to the public:

  • An opening ceremony, which will celebrate the unveiling of “Barnard Way” at the corner of 116th Street and Broadway. City officials and elected representatives will attend, including DOT Commissioner Polly Trottenberg ’86, Manhattan Borough President Gale Brewer, City Councilmember Mark Levine, Congressman Jerrold Nadler, and others.
  • Mini-courses taught by Barnard’s liberal arts faculty, including a Group Voice class, an African Dance class, and lectures on New York City’s history, politics, public services, environmental initiatives and more.
  • Exhibition of artwork by alumnae artists including Erica Baum ’84, Sarah Charlesworth ’69, Annabel Daou ’89, and Louise McCagg ’59, among many others.
  • Barnard Dances 125, a multimedia installation that, with the help of a smartphone app, brings historical photos to life with dances choreographed by current students.
  • Kid-friendly activities including science demonstrations in Barnard’s laboratories, fitness activities and an obstacle course run by Barnard’s physical education department, and games and crafts hosted by the renowned Barnard Toddler Center.
  • A variety of New York City food trucks.

Be sure to stop by the corner of Barnard Way and 116th to join in the festivities!

Photo courtesy of Anonymous Tipster

Bucket List: Lit, Humanities, & Ebola

Bucket List represents the intellectual privilege we enjoy as Columbia students. Check out interesting guest lecturers and special events before fall break is upon us! Our recommendations for this week are below and the full list is after the jump. If you notice any events that have been left off the list, or a correction, please leave them in the comments.


  • “India Beyond Technology and Yoga: The Power of Literature in a Globalizing World” Miller Theatre, Monday 7:00-8:30 PM. Pankaj Mishra, Urvashi Butalia, Vikas Swarup, Suketu Mehta.
  • “The Ebola Crisis: What It Means for West Africa and the World” Monday 1:00-5:00 PM. Faculty House Presidential Ballroom. Conference. RSVP here.
  • “A Fireside Chat with Eric Schmidt, Executive Chairman of Google” IAB 1501, Thursday 12:00-1:00 PM. Eric Schmidt. Register here.

More ways to procrastinate in the name of education after the jump.

Bwoglines: Mishaps And Misjudgments Edition
Oops is right

Oops is right

In the world of football, Michigan State decided to run up the score after Michigan apparently “disrespected” them earlier in the game by planting a spear in their field. Hey, at least they didn’t shout about Ebola. (Michigan Live)

Nevada police officers arrested a man who went on a spree attacking seven people within an hour with a hammer, Super Smash Bros style. (Journal Communications)

A New York Times reporter spent an entire evening at the New Yorker festival confusing Mindy Kaling with Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai. (Huffington Post)

Another man was arrested, this time for smashing his car into the Ten Commandments Statue near Oklahoma’s state capital building. His reasoning seems justified though, as he says “Satan made him do it.” (Time)

Oy vey via Shutterstock

Bwog’s Costume Closet: Ivy League Sheep
ivy league sheep


Although the idea of a creating a f***ball Halloween costume in honor of Homecoming was tempting, we couldn’t think of anything you would need besides an “Also Ran” participation trophy. Instead, Claire Friedman, lover of the movie “Hocus Pocus,” is here with another great costume idea for you to impress your drunken friends (/parents?): an Ivy League Sheep. 

You Will Need:

  • A white T-shirt and tight-fitting shorts
  • Roughly a million cotton balls
  • A hot glue gun
  • Black shoes
  • An article of Columbia clothing — we suggest a hat or a foam finger (if you want that semi-Miley vibe)


Step 1: Glue your million cotton balls to the T-shirt. This will take approximately a million years, so make sure you have Netflix going at the same time.

Step 2: Do the same thing to the shorts, neglecting the inner thighs (so you don’t rain cotton balls when you walk).

Step 3: Don your puffy outfit and add the Columbia apparel.

Step 4: Become an econ major; extra points if you schmooze for a summer internship at Goldman.

 Cost: Your soul. Depending on how much CU clothing you already own, this costume could range from $10 to $50.

Illustration by Taylor Grasdalen.

Goldberg Talks About The Sexual Assault Policy At USenate Plenary
More official by the month

More official by the month

Bureaucracy buff Joe Milholland ventured to the University Senate plenary on Friday, coming back with word on the University’s evolving sexual assault policy, Ebola, and Manhattanville.

At the Friday, October 24 USenate Plenary, Suzanne Goldberg, the Special Advisor to the President for Sexual Assault Policy, talked about the sexual assault policy and took questions from the audience.

Goldberg emphasized the policy was focused on prevention and communicating resources as well as response. She noted that there are several confidential resources for survivors, such as Sexual Violence Response, the Office of the University Chaplain, and Health Services. She also said that Columbia has several staff members and peer advocates on CPS, whereas most schools only have one trained person to deal with sexual assault.

As for non-confidential resources, Goldberg stated that survivors do not have to engage in the investigation process even if they get accommodations from the Office of Gender-based Misconduct. The investigators at SVR are all new and are “deeply trained,” according to Goldberg, who has sat in on some training sessions. Of the non-confidential processes, Goldberg said, “non-confidential does not mean non-private,” and “The University will never comment on an individual student’s case, even if the student is public about their experience of sexual violence”

But did anyone actually read this thing?