Bwog Sorority Gets Dramatic
Rush Bwog and you can play with this cute dog!!

#rushbwog and you can play with this cute dog!!

Rush season can bring out the worst in us, and here we remind you of the University of Maryland Delta Gamma email scandal of 2013.  We were recently tipped a similarly shocking email sent from Bwog’s rush chair.  You can read it below (and remember to #rushbwog!!!).

If you just opened this email like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads under a mattress, which is apparently the majority of this school, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of open forums and general social interactions.  I’ve been getting comments on comments about people LITERALLY being so fucking APOLOGETIC and so fucking UNAPOLOGETIC.  If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself, “But oh em gee [first name redacted and then un-redacted and then un-un-redacted], I’ve been having so much fun writing think-pieces about my unstimulated intellect and subsequent ennui but also about gossip and squirrels and poop nuggets!” then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you in the SGO and do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Columbia does not give a flying fuck about anything, about how much you fucking love to talk about yourself.  You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk about yourself, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM.  This week is about salvaging relationships with the administration and Greek life and activists and ourselves, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to sit around and talk to Beta and not to the people who’s dicks really deserve to be flayedCUMB.  Newsflash you stupid cocks: COLUMBIA DOESN’T LIKE SUCKY BWOG.  Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: COLUMBIA IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO READ US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it written out for you on a bathroom wall, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR.

This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about writing for Bwog IN FRONT OF SPEC.  Are you people fucking retarded?  That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure to send you to Spec.

If you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease with flu-like symptoms and blood-in-stool where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE FOR THIS PUBLICATION.  I would rather have 1 editor-in-chief that is fun, talks to boys, and not fucking awkward than 20 that are fucking bitches.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck.  Go cunt punt yourself.

-[Last name redacted]

Emma Sulkowicz Attends State Of The Union
"Dammit, I forgot sexual assault"

“Dammit, I forgot sexual assault”

“Mr. Speaker, the President of the United States!” boomed the Sergeant in Arms, who traditionally announces the President’s arrival into the House chamber to deliver his annual State of the Union address. Among the many invited guests of the President, First Lady, Vice President and the hundreds of Congressmen and women, was Columbia’s own Emma Sulkowicz, invited by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (NY) for her “Carry that Weight” project and ensuing efforts against campus sexual violence.

Once President Obama began his address, he talked in great breadth, and in many cases, great depth. He ran the gamut of topics one could cover in an address that lasts about an hour: a host of social issues, energy (oil independence), college (Obama’s proposal is to make community college free for all), better bipartisanship cooperation, climate change and both military and diplomatic force in foreign affairs (dealing with ISIS and a non-nuclear Iran are items Obama addressed), among other issues. It seemed as if the only thing Obama neglected to talk about was the reason Emma Sulkowicz was there: sexual violence on college campuses.

Gillbrand, Sulkowicz’s host, is currently trying to pass a piece of legislation called the “Campus Safety and Accountability Act,” and according to a TIME magazine article on Sulkowicz’s appearance, Gillibrand also pushed Obama to include Emma’s story as a segment on the issue in the State of the Union address. He did not. And while she was not the most important person in the chamber, Emma was not shown on the broadcast, despite the plentiful media coverage (see above) surrounding her appearance.

In addition to Emma, though, there were at least a few people in the room with Columbia educations, none more obvious and important than Obama himself. Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and U.S. Representative Jerrold Nadler (NY) studied at Columbia Law School and Columbia College, respectively. While it may have been disappointing to not hear the President speak on sexual assault on college campuses in his address, it is still impressive to consider the influential Columbia presence in the room.

Chief via Shutterstock

PSA: Special Interest Community Applications Due Sunday

Housing that doesn’t remind you of a prison!

Are you a freshman or sophomore who is into Jazz Music or sustainability (or some other “special interest”)? Want to live in the same dorm as Kerouac (or maybe just a nice brownstone)? Want to avoid the drama of the housing lottery and live with a bunch of other people who have similar passions as you do (and maybe find some sense of community at Columbia)? Applications to live in a Special Interest Community next year are due this Sunday, January 25th.

You can check out the different SICs here, and you can go here to look into the application process.

Field Notes: Wild Winter Break
Christmas dinner or the next Bwog meeting?

Christmas dinner or the next Bwog meeting?

Whether by catching some rays and some waves, calling in a Netflix staycation, or being productive and getting the entire semester’s’ worth of reading done, you all hopefully enjoyed your too-short winter break. Now you’re back with endless stories to tell your friends over at drink at 1020. But before you do that, be sure to tell Bwog how you spent your month at tips@bwog.com.

On staycation: 

  • “Pulled out my fake in front my parents when I got carded at Mel’s :/”
  • “Somehow (?) within the first twenty minutes of being back on campus I ended up playing wine pong.”

Homeward bound: 

  • “Learned who from my high school class is now engaged, pregnant, and/or addicted to meth.”
  • “Participated in an outdoor drum circle in -10 degree weather.”
  • “Built beautiful snowmen”
  • “Drank a lot of mimosas”
  • “Had some college friends visit my hometown, stumbled drunk around the city at night, and stole a flag from the local university.”
  • “Completed all nine seasons of How I Met Your Mother”
  • “Dyed my hair to spite my parents.”
  • “Ate chipotle in bed and listened to Jesse McCartney.”
  • “Took full advantage of AYCE pancakes at IHOP. Managed more than my waitress had ever seen, and only felt a little ashamed.”
  • “My mom paid her priest to tell me to become a surgeon. His rationale was, and I quote, the birthmark on my left cheekbone.”

Somewhere else on Earth: 

  • “Went to an MIT party and got really drunk. Was standing in the hallway on Tinder when some guy (who had confessed to me five minutes beforehand that he was a 21-yr-old virgin) was like, ‘Why are you on Tinder when there are so many eligible bachelors at this party?’ ……”
  • “Spent new years on a boat in the middle of the ocean with 4,000 of my closest friends.”
  • “Read a lot of Murakami <3″
  •  “Danced w/ my grandma to Blurred Lines at a bar mitzvah.”

RUSH BWOG via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Basically Still On Break Edition
We're basically still on break/Has anyone ever actually consumed a margarita from Chipotle?

Has anyone ever actually consumed a margarita from Chipotle?

Chipotle is still running low on carnitas after cutting ties with a supplier that wasn’t raising its pigs humanely (but the Chipotle on 110th still has it!!!). (Huffington Post)

Did you binge-listen to Serial like most of our staff did over break? Asia McClain is now standing by her original testimony, providing Adnan with an alibi. (Time Magazine)

Did you binge-watch Parks & Rec as well over break, and are you also feeling really unmotivated now that you’ve returned to campus? Get inspired by these Leslie Knope quotes. (New York Mag)

Some people are suggesting that parties thrown by sororities could help solve the issue of campus rape. (New York Times)

We still feel like we’re on break via Shutterstock

AXO Makes A Jezebel Uh-Oh
I love my big

I love my big

The website Jezebel started a trend of posting ridiculous emails and handbooks from sororities with an email from the Alpha Chi Omega chapter at University of Southern California. To add to the list of infamous AXO emails, Columbia’s own chapter has been featured with a leaked handbook for Recruitment Week 2014-2015. The handbook totals at 30 pages, including an exhaustive list telling each member how they should look and act during Recruitment Week in order to attract new recruits.

Among the many requirements and suggestions in the handbook, a few stand out for being excessively intrusive and demanding. In the beauty department, the author swears by putting Vaseline on every body part as well as avoiding the “natural look” for hair. The members are also offered a detailed list of options for what they can wear during recruitment and, dammit, it better be coral, white, or mint. As if that wasn’t hard enough, you need to have your outfit approved MONTHS before recruitment.

In terms of how the women should act during recruitment, AXO wants you to have your best game face on when it comes time to catch prospective members during Recruitment. Members should have down pat their speech on why to join AXO, and they are encouraged to attend workshops to refine their “heart sell.” Finally, members are absolutely required to attend recruitment events, and the sorority even asks its members to not get mad over all of these demands. The handbook reads, “Please refrain from attacking us as individuals or becoming personally offended if we ask you to wear something else, change your hair, wear more makeup, etc. For 361 days of the year, I do not care what you wear. These 4 days, my team and I have the final say.” Whatever you say, boss.

The authors of the Handbook via Shutterstock

Let Bwog Give You Bad Advice
Screen Shot 2015-01-20 at 2.30.56 PM

The beauty herself

What did YOU do over break? Bwog’s notorious beloved Tatini read the first 100 pages of Wild and has thus decided that she is now qualified to dole out life advice by the bundle.

Can’t figure out what to major in? Don’t know who to vote for on the Bachelor? Unsure which embarrassing caffeinated beverage to consume? Don’t know how to deal with toenail fungus? Confused by the State of the Union? (can’t promise anything particularly insightful on that last one, sorry; we’re pretty confused too tbh)

Send your deepest, darkest queries in, and we’ll regale you with sage-like, fairly unsolicited bad advice on anything and everything you might be curious about. After all, as the profound Rascall Flatts once proclaimed, “Life is a highway, and I wanna ride it all night long.” Let us teach you how to ride.

Send ‘em in, kids: tips@bwog.com.

Call for Opening Remarks
Welcome to the hardest class you will ever take.

Welcome to the hardest class you will ever take.

We’re back for a new year, another semester, brand new classes and another (or a final) chance to make Dean’s List. From today on, your professors will be welcoming you to class with bad puns (or good ones), aggressive political statements and philosophical musings. But that’s only a sample. It’s up to you to send us the best of the rest, so wake up, listen in and tip your professors’ first words (of the semester) to tips@bwog.com. Or be lazy and just leave them in the comments.

Your Orgo professor via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Politics and Protests Edition

That’s the spirit!

President Obama will deliver his penultimate State of the Union address tonight at 9 pm, and we’ll be listening closely to hear if his agenda includes anything on campus sexual assault, a hot-button issue this past year especially. Also listening closely will be Emma Sulkowicz, the invited guest of New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. (Jezebel)

A U.S. delegation to Cuba met with officials there, sans Raul Castro, to discuss the renewal of diplomatic ties between the two countries, which are warming but still pretty cold. Also in the news from Cuba, American prisoner Alan Gross, released in December, will be one of Obama’s invited guests for the State of the Union. (ABC News/NY Times)

Activists took to the streets (in New York, Boston and Atlanta, specifically) yesterday in honor of MLK’s birthday, carrying on Dr. King’s legacy of passionate and peaceful protest. (New York Times)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Patriots, the team everybody outside of Boston loves to hate (and accuse of cheating) are mired in yet another alleged cheating scandal for deflating the footballs used in their conference championship win against Indy. The trusty NFL is currently investigating whether or not “DeflateGate” is true. (Yahoo Sports)

See something you don’t like? Just say “No!” via Shutterstock

Bwog Wants You To Join The Cult
Bwog is AHS: Coven

Bwog is AHS: Coven

With all of the hard work that goes into making this illustrious site run day in and day out, only a few of our staff members have the privilege of taking on the laborious activity of making Bwog the way it is. We like to call these heroes Daily Editors and we need some more of them. If you’ve ever been interested in dedicating your life to a greater cause or hearing about all of the campus gossip as it happens, we encourage you to apply to be a Daily Editor for this coming semester. Dailies are responsible for running Bwog on a daily basis by publishing content and bearing the brunt of spelling mistakes. Most importantly, they have the job of writing Bwoglines each morning aka your favorite Bwog feature. This position is one of the best chances to begin as a staff member on Bwog, and we encourage any first years, sophomores, or upperclassmen unjaded members of the Columbia community to apply. Experience with journalism/writing is not required.

Wait, there’s more! If you’re not interested in being a Daily, we are also looking for Bureau Chiefs for the following meetings: ESC, CCSC, SGA, and GSSC. These staff members will attend one (or more) of these meetings each week and provide coverage to be posted on Bwog the following day. If you’re interested in the position, please email the board with which meeting(s) you would like to cover. This is a great way to join Bwog with minimal time commitment. Bonus: if you’re the SGA chief, you get the baller title “Barnard Bearoness.”

If you’re interested in drinking the Kool-Aid and becoming a part of the most popular clique on campus, send in your completed application (see below) or Bureau Chief interest to board@bwog.com by Saturday, January 24 at 11:59pm.

Find the Daily Editor application here.

Columbia Bad, Cornell Worse In Basketball Win
Representing the Freshmen

Kyle Castlin goes up strong

The men’s basketball team in light blue that showed up in Ithaca today was not the same team that went blow-for-blow with #1 Kentucky. Thankfully, they didn’t have to be against a Cornell squad that showed shades of its abysmal performances last year. Led by first-year Kyle Castlin’s 12 points, the Lions defeated the Big Red, 48-45.

The early story of the game revolved around Maodo Lo. Within the first minute, he notched a defensive foul attempting to stop a lay-up. One minute later, he was called for a questionable charge on his way to the basket. Shackled by foul trouble, Lo stayed off the court for most of the first half. He was on the court at the beginning of the second stanza, but was called for a third foul in the first minute while battling for a loose ball. Lo would finish the game with zero points and five turnovers in his 17 minutes of play. Columbia lost two games earlier this season when Lo was shut down against St. Francis (NY) and Stony Brook. But thankfully, on the other side of the court, Cornell’s leading scorer Shonn Miller was just as impotent. Despite staying out of foul trouble, the Big Red forward was scoreless in the first half and finished the game with eight points.

For the Lions, it was once again the bench to the rescue. 5’8” sophomore guard Kendall Jackson nailed a pair of three-pointers early to get the Lions into rhythm without Lo directing the offense. Senior guard Steve Frankoski was just as good, continuing his powerful streak of shooting threes in rhythm. Also making an appearance from beyond the arc was sophomore forward Jeff Coby, who knocked down two treys, despite three-pointers accounting for about 20% of his career attempts from the field. Handling the drives to the basket was Kyle Castlin, performing double duty in the paint for the fouled-out Lo and the struggling Cory Osetkowski. How Columbia almost blew it after the jump

Early Phi Beta Kappa Inductees Announced!
So shiny

So shiny

Columbia College has announced the 24 current seniors who have been inducted early into Phi Beta Kappa, the prestigious academic honor society. These students comprise two percent of this year’s senior class, while the other eight percent will be inducted in the spring (10 percent overall of each CC senior class gets inducted). They are chosen based on the “breadth, depth and rigor” of their study and on recommendations of their strong character. The fall inductees are named below:

  • Tanvi Bikhchandani
  • Stephen Carr
  • Devin Choudhury
  • Rebecca Friedman
  • Stephanie Gergoudis
  • Jessica Grischkan
  • Rishab Guha
  • Hayley Hranicky-Galitzer
  • Grant King
  • Jack Klempay
  • Tatianna Kufferath
  • Elliot Kwon
  • Nayan Lamba
  • Kun Leng
  • Robert Lin
  • Daniel Listwa
  • Leila Musavi
  • Maxwell Nelson
  • Nathaniel Posey
  • Giovanni Scuri
  • Preeti Varathan
  • Ellen Vitercik
  • Eric Wohlstadter
  • Yifei Zhao

We offer our sincerest congratulations to all of you on your achievement!

Some Mid-Break Updates

unnamedBwog briefly returns from post-holiday hibernation with updates on Columbia goings-on from the last few weeks.

  • According to the Columbia Health website, Columbia has been granted an award from Avon for participation in the Step Up program targeting sexual violence bystander awareness.
  • The Carleton Lounge dining area in Mudd is being renovated from a full-service dining hall (with surprisingly good food) to a Blue Java. Isn’t the one in Butler enough?
  • The gates at 114th, donated by the class of 1929, are still being restored. Although facilities originally estimated the gates to be fully restored by the end of the 2014 summer, an email from Columbia facilities estimates that the gates won’t be returned to campus until Spring when the snow is gone.  However, the actual process of restoration will be completed by February.
  • Several Accomplished Alumni have been named the 2015 recipients of the John Jay Award. Prestigious.
  • The Obama Presidential Library might be housed at Columbia, as the foundation choosing the library’s site has raised some concerns with Chicago universities’ bids.  However, these sites have recently presented plans that make Chicago look more promising (dammit).
  • Barnard College is now under a Title IX investigation. President Spar issued the following statement in an email to Barnard students.  You can read it below.

Dear members of the Barnard community,

As you may recall, this past spring it was reported that a group of twenty-three students filed a federal complaint alleging that Columbia University and Barnard College failed to promptly and adequately respond to complaints and reports of sexual violence, in violation of Title IX. Earlier this week, we received official notice from the Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights (OCR) that it will proceed with an investigation related to the one Barnard student named in the complaint. As is common practice, we will not be given details of the complaint.

The OCR is currently investigating a total of 94 colleges and universities for similar allegations of violations of Title IX. Our understanding is that OCR’s current practice with complaints of this type is to conduct a broad review of the institution’s prevention programs, policies and procedures, and education and training initiatives, as well as its handling of specific cases. We are cooperating fully with this review.

Read the rest of the email after the jump.

Good Night, And Good Luck

Dear Columbia — to our fans, part-time fans, naysayers, haters, and our primarily unruffled, ambivalent readership — we’ve had a strong semester. I say “strong” because it was not quite a good semester but a powerful one, passionate and encouraging. If sometimes too apologetic, you can’t negate our — Bwog’s — interest in the activity we’ve seen on campus over the past four and a half months. A lot has happened, particularly in recent weeks, and I can’t understate my appreciation for your engagement. Not just as a writer and observer but as another student, I am so grateful for a community that persists and is willing to argue against the circumstances you, or I, or anyone else, faces here. I appreciate this persistence.

This is at once our compulsory “Bwog Out” post for the end of the year, and a call for further action. I so love my peers for the work they do on top of academic stress and strain, social and familial and financial and school-related anxieties, adversity and upset, pressure, heartbreak, impairment, invalidation. I ask that you persist and continue. Keep up the good fight (against The Man, perhaps). Send me your thoughts, concerns, stories, ideas, essays, and pitches; I want to know what’s on your mind, what you want to hear about, know about. Write to me personally at taylor@bwog.com. Write to greater Bwog, day or night or upon the witching hour, at tips@bwog.com.

Congratulations on completing the fall 2014 semester! Congratulations on your graduation, imminent graduation, first semester of college, or mid-(college) life crisis! Bwog — as an ambiguous, free-form, yet possibly mammalian entity — and I, support you. We wish you a safe, healthy, warm, and fruitful winter break, and hope to see you at our first meeting come January. There will be snacks.

Sincerely,

Taylor Grasdalen, Editor-in-Chief

Some Questions For Our Administrators Come Winter Break
Really, guys?

Really, guys?

A few questions for those at the helm of the University this holiday season. Preferably to mull over during family dinner.

Of President Bollinger, we ask:

  • How exactly will Columbia be a “good neighbor” in Manhattanville?
  • Will you call the cops on us every time we congregate in groups of three or more?
  • How will you create community among students who feel so divided and hurt by their status or identity?—racial, sexual, economic, social, or otherwise?
  • How many more students could join the Class of 2018 if we were to direct your $700,000 raise toward financial aid?
  • Will you attend any of the spring’s town halls, maybe field a few questions on sexual assault policy at Columbia? We’ve really missed you at the past few town halls!
  • Are we global enough for you?

Of President Spar, we ask:

  • What’s the point of expending millions on a new library when your students hardly have a place to live?
  • Is Barnard’s consideration of trans* students really such a “complicated issue”?
  • How likely is it that every Economics major at Barnard might receive an internship with Goldman Sachs? We hear you’ve got connections!
  • Could we maybe start a Barnard fund for bikini waxes and blow-outs?
  • JJ’s Place? PLEASE?

Questioning_authority_dot_jpeg via Shutterstock.