May

12

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Night at the Library.

Night at the Library.

Look. It’s almost over. You can see the light at the other side of the tunnel. A lot of people have been leaving, making a racket all day, but they’ll be gone shortly. We won’t keep you long, we assume you’re either ready to hit up the bars or recovering from them. So go out. do your thing, take it day by day.

Bwogline: Dilma Rousseff is perpetually having a worse week than you are. The Brazilian Senate is currently engaged in a marathon of 15 minute speeches, given by each of the 71 Senators registered to speak. If a majority vote against her—which is looking very likely—the Brazilian President will face immediate suspension from office. (BBC)

Study Tip: Go on a 24 hour full cleanse b@b cleanse tomorrow. It’ll be worth it.

Procrastinate: Vibe out.

Overseen: See above picture. Butler desks flood the hall in demand of shorter library hours.

Overheard: “1020 is where memories go to die”

Living desks via Bwog Staff

May

11

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Anna HotterFire Safety maven and green card seeker Anna Hotter is all about posing outside of Philosophy, living out 30 Rock, and not going to class. Let her astound you with her infinite wisdom re: lessons learned and regrets.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Anna Hotter, CC, Economics-Political Science and Philosophy, Graz, Austria

Claim to fame: I co-founded Columbia’s first video-based sketch comedy group, and helped make our new Fire Safety video.

Where are you going? Nowhere! I’m staying in the city and fulfilling my Liz Lemon dream/nightmare of working in television. Until I get deported.*

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) Treat people according to iceberg principle. Unless you are dealing with a close friend, you probably only get to see about 10% of what is going on in a person’s life. Try to be generous with your grumpy floormates, rushed TAs, and taciturn Morton Williams cashiers. You never know what their day was like.

2) Explore New York as much as possible in your first year. You will become lazy and poor. Go to Smorgasburg before the Sophomore slump hits (and the L train stops running).

3) Call your family more than once a week. I will forever be jealous of my American friends who can talk to their parents as if time zones and roaming fees don’t exist. So call your mom and tell her about that razzleberry pop tart you had for breakfast, the insane cost of privatised medical care, or whatever it is you people talk about.

Anna on whatever it is she has to share, after the jump

May

11

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Daniel Stone (1)Frequent tipster Daniel Stone (probably the only one who could get a foosball table installed in Hartley) is here to deliver his senior wisdom. It’s full of exactly what you’d expect: hyperlinks, meticulous research, and solid advice.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Daniel Stone, Columbia College, History with a concentration in Economics, Morningside Heights

Claim to fame: One time Public Safety head James McShane sent an email to everyone at Columbia.
I replied, “Thanks for the update.” Then he replied-all to everyone at Columbia.
Beyond that, I was at The Blue and White and at the Columbia Lion (in 2014). I may have also been your RA.

Where are you going? Probably Washington, D.C.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

  1. Any Columbia “institution” is only as good as the people who belong to it.
  2. Every year there is a lottery for lockers in Butler Library. Enter it.
  3. You can save a lot of time and worry if you just pick up a phone.

Comprehensive answers after the jump

May

11

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RJAmidst all these teary, heartfelt Senior Wisdoms, we bring you an Actual (!) Wisdom from the one and only Associate Dean Jenkins. The “back in my day” is a lot more…back in the day.  

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer. Gladly. I love my partner, my family, and my friends, I care deeply for my work and for my students, and I make a mean key lime pie.

Claim to fame. I won a dairy goat milking competition—speed and volume!—at the Sarasota County Fair in seventh grade. I also grew the biggest radish that year. Bow before me.

What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience? Feeling like I wasn’t smart enough, or rich enough, to be at Columbia. Both feelings were pretty incapacitating at first, but learning how to overcome them—learning how to derive value from within myself rather than outside of myself—was the single most important thing I learned in college. Well… that and how to write a Lit Hum paper in two hours fueled by nothing but diet coke and shame.

Back in my day… A gallon of gas cost 79 cents, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head were a thing, and Queen released “Another One Bites the Dust.” Aaaaaand I’m old.

Extension stories and lessons after the jump!

May

11

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You might be done with your finals (as previously stated, just crawl into your big blue bin and roll down Broadway, lucky person), but your room is still a monumental mess jam-packed with memorabilia and nonsense documenting your past year at Columbia. What treasures will you find as you comb through your notes and throw out month-old orange shells that are inexplicably under your bed?

#minimalist #lonelyaf #thirsty4u

#minimalist #lonelyaf #thirsty4u

Organic

  • “A pretty much empty bottle of alcohol that you bought for a dorm party during NSOP and then hid way too well out of fear of expulsion for illicit substances.”
  • “Three half-used containers of DayQuil.”
  • “Extra vibrator.”
  • “Your roommate’s dead goldfish!”

Many more pics after the jump!

May

11

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Julia Goodman [Bwog]Here’s to wisdom, previous Bwog EICs, and institutional memory! We bring to you today Julia Goodman, subway-rider, Dam frequenter, and punchcard queen. She has lots to spill on imposter syndrome and support systems.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Julia Goodman, CC, English and Creative Writing, Los Angeles

Claim to fame: I was editor-in-chief of Bwog for the fall of 2014, during which time I defended student protest and became a regular at International.

Where are you going? I’m staying in New York to work, write, and ride the subway.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) If you’re like most people at this school, there will be many times where you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t belong here, and everybody else knows something you don’t. It took me way too long to figure this out, but most people don’t have any more of a clue what they’re doing than you do. Your four years here will be one of few times when it’s completely okay, if not preferable, to live in uncertainty. If I had stuck to the plan I had when I arrived at Columbia, I would never have joined Bwog, met most of my close friends, or majored in creative writing. Not knowing exactly what you’re doing will leave you open to opportunities you never thought you would have pursued.

What else does this Bwogstress have to stay?

May

11

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Straight outta Costco

Straight outta Costco

It’s almost over! Breathe in deep, pant between pushes, and you’ll be done before you know it. For those of you who are already done with finals: we hate you. Don’t talk to us. Please get into your big blue bin and roll down Broadway. To the rest of you: stay strong. 

Bwogline: It could be worse! You could have written an article about Melania Trump for GQ, only to receive death threats and internal vitriol. (Does your linear algebra final seem less bleak now? Maybe not.) (CBS)

Study Tip: Deactivate Facebook. Delete the app from your phone. Do the same for other social media (including b@b). It’s the nuclear option, but when you’ve got to write your term paper, you’ve got to write your term paper.

Procrastinate: Read this chilling tale of Amazon ebook fame. Alternatively, browse through /r/nosleep. Show up to your exam in a daze because you no longer believe in the constraints of this world.

Overseen: A boy practicing #selfcare by bringing his vitamins into Butler. See above picture.

Overheard: “Do you think I could get out of this final if I show up bleeding?”

The Sieg via Bwog Staff

May

10

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Josh DillonUp next, we bring you our favorite buff Bwogger Josh Dillion with his dose of wisdom about bathrooms and drinking Red Bull for the taste.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Josh Dillon, Columbia College, Computer Science-Statistics, *somewhere in Connecticut*

Claim to Fame: I’ve slept in a tent with my best friends, on a toilet somewhere on 103rd, in an alcove in Butler 409 and inside a bathtub in Nussbaum. Three of those four times I was naked.

Where are you going? “Making my way downtown // Walking fast // Faces pass // And I’m home bound”
Aka Brooklyn after a quick escape to the cold woods of Canada. I don’t know which bears scare me more.

What are 3 things that you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) The men’s bathroom on the second floor of Pupin has a second PRIVATE bathroom inside of it. Like the Room of Requirements, it will come to you in your time of need.

2) Your life does not start after Columbia; it starts now. Don’t sacrifice your health and happiness in the hopes that it pays off one day. There will always be another paper to write or another problem set due, but the sun doesn’t shine every day so take the time to enjoy it.

3) You will learn more from your mistakes than you could from anyone’s (including my) advice, so always try things out yourself. People will always try to give you advice but it is your choice if you want to follow it or not. This will be one of the most rewarding and difficult times of your life; let it be.

Back in Josh’s day…

May

10

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As the semester comes to a close, we are juggling feelings of regret from the past semester (we could have studied more for that one midterm, we could have gone out two nights per weekend instead of three, etc.) with the anxious energy of finishing finals and moving out. Listen to this playlist while going on a walk (as a study break, perhaps) or while packing up.

  1. Wait a Minute! by Willow – For when you remember that your Stats exam is actually on Wednesday, not Thursday.
  2. Happy by Mitski – A song about that confusing hook-up from February with whom you now avoid eye contact on the Hamilton stairs.
  3. Gravity Don’t Pull Me by Rostam – “And the worst way I ever felt/Was from this same boy that I still miss/Cause I messed it up/And it broke my heart”–we feel similarly about the professor whom we adored, though we nevertheless still didn’t do the readings for their class.
  4. Better by Banks – For when it’s 4am in Butler, and you’re wishing you had done better on the midterm.
  5. Exodus by M.I.A. feat. The Weeknd – “Baby, you can have it all–tell me what for,” you say to yourself as you fall asleep watching Netflix the night before your Data Structures final.
  6. Sous le volcan by Arkadin – A song for when you realize that you probably went out too much this semester.
  7. Swim Good by Frank Ocean – In this song, Frank sings about swimming from something bigger than him (We’ve all had the urge to throw ourselves into the Hudson instead of writing our take-home final.) and (post-finals, perhaps) purification.
  8. First Love / Late Spring by Mitski – Late spring–the time of year when you have to have the conversation about summer with your semi-serious hook-up!
  9. SEPT 5TH by dvsn – Related to the last song: a tune for when you inevitably fuck up the summer convo with your hook-up.
  10. Vanish Away (1.2) by Février – Deliver us from CU and unto our homes!

May

10

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Get free stuff at the activity fair

Get free stuff at the activity fair

This semester’s winding down. If you’re going away for the summer, you only have a few days left to snag some swag. If you’re a senior, this is your last chance ever to harvest all the stuff you can get with CUID and a UNI. While one option is to pester your RA into getting you some free Westside cookies and t-shirts with a Res Life FTF, some of us our too lazy even for that. We like to find and take.

So, for those people, here’s the list of free things you can get at Columbia:

  • Three-ply toilet paper at Hartley Hospitality
  • Condoms (all over the place – just ask your RA)
  • Lube at GHAP in John Jay
  • A bunch of free food and swag if you donate a dollar to the Senior Fund and go to their events
  • Pizza at CUCR meetings
  • Readings on Courseworks
  • Just look around the activity fair for a while
  • Entire boxes of mints at CCE
  • Really nice monogrammed glass water bottles you can smuggle out of fancy events
  • Earplugs, all over Barnard
  • Wine from Maison Française at their events
  • The Met Opera on demand via Clio
  • Stress balls (go to a StressBusters event, or really just e-mail any administrator and they’ll probably have a box for you)
  • Tampons (and maybe, one day, if the world is ready, pads)
  • Snacks at Bwog meetings (Sundays at 7 in the SGO, but you’ll have to wait until next semester for them to start again)

We got this image for free via cc-seas.columbia.edu

May

10

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Hallie Nell Swanson (1)Wonder what a former Blue and White editor has to say about being a student at Columbia? Check out former B&W EIC Hallie Nell Swanson’s take on senior wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Hallie Nell Swanson; CC; Comparative Literature and Society; London, England

Claim to fame: Doing a bunch of publications stuff, and being the other Swanson.

Where are you going? Right now, to Orgo Night. In the longish run: to graduation, and then home, and then we’ll see.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) If you don’t like your life, it’s up to you to change it. If you find that the work you’re doing isn’t what you want to be doing, that the people you’re around aren’t the people you want to be around, that the person you are isn’t the person you want to be, fix it. College is far too early in your life to be compromising on any of that. In this respect, the independence Columbia offers is a double-edged sword. It can be isolating and lonely—I struggled with that, and rushed stuff as a result. But if you resist that urge, what’s good about Columbia is that you can carve out your own niche rather than contorting into an uncomfortable mold.

2) Cultivate yourself. When you arrive here, you are most likely a product of exactly where you came from. One filled with potential, but predictable and boring nonetheless. While you’re here, you can expose yourself to things you haven’t encountered before, whether that’s through friendships, through reading, through classes, or through any of the many events that happen here every day. Do it. That said, easy narratives abound here, and they come in several bland flavors, from frat boy to econ-poli sci to sophomore class page activist. If you find yourself surrounded by too many people who will just react with ‘this’ or ‘yaaas’ or ‘fuck [thing]’ to everything you say, and you find yourself doing it back, you can be having better conversations.

3) Use your resources. I’m writing this precisely because I don’t do nearly enough of it, so I can’t advise you on exactly how. But Columbia has a ton of fellowships just waiting to chuck money at people, professors who can adopt and guide you if you’d only show up at their office hours, free shit everywhere if you look for it (if you’re in CUSP, put up with the tedium). Sign up for every listserv, apply to every program, get coffee with everyone. It will benefit you—I’m sure it could have benefited me, if I’d bothered.

Eggs on toast with professors back in the day

May

10

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Viv RamakrishnanToday, take a look at the senior wisdom of one half of everybody’s favorite CCSC satire campaign duo. We can’t promise you’ll get Freedom, Liberty, AND Freedom, but you will get an appropriately Wisconsinite answer to the oral sex or cheese question.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Vivek ‘Viv’ Ramakrishnan, Columbia College, Economics, Madison, Wisconsin

Claim to fame: Running a couple joke CCSC campaigns with my buddy Ben and somehow getting elected the second time around. Actually putting my all into the VP-Policy position once I fell ass-backwards into it.

Where are you going? Memphis, Tennessee! I’ll be teaching 12th grade.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) Actively befriend people with views that are fundamentally different from your own. I feel like classes and clubs have the effect of grouping us into social circles of like-minded people who reinforce one another. And when we finally emerge from our echo chambers, we fail to even consider conflicting positions, instead resorting to comments like “u r dismissed [insert laughing-crying emojis].” Maybe campus discourse wouldn’t be so vitriolic and unproductive. Maybe not. At the very least you’ll get some awesome conversations out of it.

His plans for Scott Walker and more, after the jump

May

10

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Butler or your exam room?

Butler or your exam room?

We’re at the height of finals, friends. The beginning is far behind us, and the end is not yet in sight. Our rooms are swamped with notes and trash, and we dread the day we must pack up and leave. Butler is swamped with notes and trash, and we anticipate the day we must pack up and leave. But we must not relent. Tense your muscles and find a good source of caffeine, because we have all-nighters to pull!

Bwogline: The Republican tensions are increasing. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, who is the expected GOP convention chair and refuses to support Trump, has said he will step down from that position if Donald Trump asks him to. So far, the two have not had an out-right clash, but who knows where this will go in the age of Trump?

Study Tip: Use a Pomodoro timer if you’re hyper-productive and/or like tomatoes.

Music: Youtube reccomends for me Shostakovich’s string quartets and a glitch remix of The White Stripes’s “Seven Nation Army.”

Procrastinate: Bookslut and SF Signal are closing down! Browse the book sites depending on which way your literary tastes lean.

Overseen: “Guys playing spikeball in the section of Butler 2 where the east emergency doors are.” How long until Butler beer pong?

Futurist art via Wikimedia Commons

May

9

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When will we be free

When will we be free

We thought last week’s field notes would be the last of the semester … We were wrong. We’re still here, we’re still suffering, and despite the fact that we should’ve spent all of last weekend in Butler, we’re still doing cool shit (or dumb shit, depending on your perspective.)

Trying To Do The “Responsible” Thing:

  • Didn’t smoke weed this weekend for first time in months!
  • Got drunk went to Butler to study until 5.30 am it was light out.
  • Unashamedly became a Butler camper for the first time.
  • Said yes to a babysitting job immediately after my orgo final. The mom double checked to see if I was “up for it” because she was the all nighter type in college– I told her I’d be fine. Didn’t tell her I’m also the all nighter type.
  • Memorized about 650 words for Chinese (not exaggeration)
  • Have been using the same reading room with friends for the past few days, which has also been occupied by another friend group: a bunch of blonde, Scandinavian boys all majoring in applied math or fin eng or physics. Have taken creepshots and named all of them. There are literally like 7 of them and there is a revolving cast throughout the day. Planning on taking a pic with them tomorrow to commemorate our relationship of sustained silence.
  • Ordered cookies from Jesus and he gave me free ice cream
  • Finally read the reading my orgo prof handed out the first day of class called “How to Get and A- in Organic Chemistry” two days before the final; the answer was to practice 40 hours per week for the entire semester, whoops.
  • Carried multiple balloons down Broadway
  • Became “exclusive” with a guy who thinks Bwog should become The Awl.
  • Successfully made it through the semester without talking to my roommate once.

The second section is, unsurprisingly, longer (and less responsible)

May

9

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Sean Augustine-Obi (1)

Ready to take on the administration. (Or the anime of questionable quality.)

If you read the Lion, you’ve probably read something Sean Augustine-Obi wrote. The same goes for Spec’s op-ed page, an Orgo Night script, or … almost anything controversial at Columbia. But what you haven’t read yet is his Senior Wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Sean Augustine-Obi, CC, Econ, Bronx, NY

Claim to fame: I ran a blog called the Lion, where I antagonized administrators, commissioned a male escort to ruin my SEO, and published something useful every so often. I co-wrote petitions about sandwich ambassadors and co-wrote jokes for marching bands and co-wrote slogans on hats that Republicans liked.

Where are you going? Back home to start an anime review blog. Oh, and turn 21.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) If you want to change anything that requires administrative approval, you’ll need at least one of the following: support from student government, a widely read op-ed, an email from a New York Times reporter (lesser publications need not apply), and majority support among the 25% of students who bother to fill out surveys. It helps to have all four.

More on change (and sandwiches) after the jump

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