-When Columbians aren’t busy drinking fermented horse milk from Kyrgystan, they’re assassinating people—people like Tao Tan.

-The stars aligned, and Larry Summers got axed. He’ll no doubt rap to cope. Those Harvard faculty sure were mean to him. But according to David Horowitz, Columbia’s professors are the naughtiest around. Basically, they’re terrorists and/or communists.

-You know what’s expensive? Handicapped doors and Tom’s Restaurant royalties.

-It’s official: eight years after her acceptance to Columbia, Katie Holmes ain’t coming. And she wants her deposit back. But now she’ll never be able to spout platitudinous crap for documentaries produced by Admissions office cronies! Everyone’s wondering though, was she ever admitted by Barnard? And when is Katie popping out that kid? She hasn’t been in the Caribbean lately, has she?

And at the right, a rubber rat that was tucked in a corner in the Wien basement all afternoon. It’s gone now, but Bwog was definitely scared and poked it with a pole.