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EC Administrator Lays Down Law, Slaughters English Language

Oh, you wild seniors, you. How many times must you be warned? You made them so mad that she forgot about subject-verb agreement. Read her letter after the jump.

Dear EC Community,

PARTIES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN EC, BULK CONTAINERS OF ALCOHOL ARE NOT ALLOWED IN EC, CONTINUING TO VIOLATE THIS POLICY WILL RESULT IN PROBATION SINCE SO MANY WARNINGS HAS BEEN ISSUED TO THE BUILDING.

I will be meeting with few suites regarding their unregistered events this weekend. In addition, I have held many Deans hearings with residents of EC thus far addressing this matter, some of which have resulted in permanent probation. If you cannot adhere to the contracts you signed, you still have time to reconsider being a resident student at Columbia before damaging your permanent student records with the University. Graduation is not an excuse for this avoidance as you will be held accountable for your actions until your last minute as a resident student of East Campus.

Given all the vandalism that occurred in the building caused by drunken students, security will be doing regular rounds in EC and will report all suites engaging in violation of policy. Please note that everyone living in vandalized floors will be held accountable for the cost of repair. You will receive an individual email from me with more details about charges. Although you may not be the host of an unregistered event, if you are present and failed to report it you will also be held responsible.

Last and not least, below is a description of maintenance responsibility to the building, of which cleaning urine and vomit after your wild parties is not one of them.

I hope you all have a successful time studying for finals and that you understand the value of keeping up with the community you live while being respectful to your neighbors. It is a transferable skill you will enjoy and need after graduation or as a student coming back next year…

Xxxxxx Xxxxx, MA

Assistant Director

Office of Residential Programs

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16 Comments

  • utah says:

    @utah I do have to say that she came to the hospital when I passed out outside my townhouse. I am pleased with this effort and understand why it is important.

  • J Train says:

    @J Train “Permanent probation”

    Huh???

  • nope says:

    @nope it ain’t stoppin us from having a party this weekend :D

  • If only says:

    @If only everyone else learned to throw parties like the B&W does…

    1. mmhm says:

      @mmhm is it easier to clean up pretentious word vomit than the physical variety?

  • if says:

    @if we can clean up our vomit and piss can maintenance get around to dealing with peeling paint and loose bricks?

  • seeing red says:

    @seeing red and that first paragraph was originally not only capslock but also red… oh furious administration, when will you learn the impotence of your rage?
    On another note, I agree. Clean up your mess, kids. In the meantime, stick it to the (wo)man and brink more deer.

  • well says:

    @well though the email is obviously a bit over the top, she does have a point in that maintenance workers shouldn’t have to clean up the urine and vomit of irresponsible students. it’s possible to have parties and not act like assholes to the rest of humanity.

    1. Seriously! says:

      @Seriously! The custodian in my building is a great guy and works hard to keep the building clean. It sucks that he has to clean up after every asshole’s night of binge drinking.

    2. thank you! says:

      @thank you! Glad to see someone at this school still cares about consideration and human decency. I’m all for parties, too, but seriously… clean up after your own goddamn self. You do realize this means that parties in EC next year will be heavily curtailed because of supervision…

  • why are they encouraging snitching? says:

    @why are they encouraging snitching? “Although you may not be the host of an unregistered event, if you are present and failed to report it you will also be held responsible.”

    oh wait, i go to columbia.

  • SHOCC'ed! says:

    @SHOCC'ed! But I thought Columbia didn’t hold hands?!

  • qu'est-que ce c'est? says:

    @qu'est-que ce c'est? parties not allowed in EC? have these people gone mad?

  • dude... says:

    @dude... …what a douchebag

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