40s
It’s 2pm the next afternoon and seniors are just starting to hungoverly roll out of bed. Notice we didn’t say “their” beds.

 

The Senior Dinner crowd last night was a mixture of the excellent (our friends) and the obnoxious (everyone else). A series of speakers were ignored until Quigley appeared on stage. Launching into one of his characteristic speeches, he reminded us that “While it may be love that makes the world go round, wine makes it go around twice as fast” and that “When an employment ad asks for a Harvard grad or the equivalent, that means two Princeton grads, three Penn grads, or a Columbia grad part-time on the weekend.” Ha-cha!

Soon, however, the speeches were over, and we got down to the business of eating. Just kidding. We actually wandered around the the tent saying disingenuous hellos to freshman floormates, only to return to seats which had been long cleared of our uneaten food. Damn.

In the spirit of cross-class communication, the Bwog is proud to conclude this post with our very own set of Senior Dinner rules. For you, children. For you.

  1. Heed the “no spike heels because they’ll sink into the grass” email warning. Especially if you are fat.

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  2. Don’t get caught stealing wine from Bwog’s table.

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  3. Don’t worry about wolfing down your dessert. The ice cream somehow has the property of not melting. After 30 minutes of observation, Bwog’s dining partner concluded that this is creepy.

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  4. Laugh at Quigley’s jokes. It makes him grin like a foolish British schoolboy.

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  5. Get hammered. The whole thing goes down much easier that way.