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Senior Dinner: The Morning After

 

40s
It’s 2pm the next afternoon and seniors are just starting to hungoverly roll out of bed. Notice we didn’t say “their” beds.

 

The Senior Dinner crowd last night was a mixture of the excellent (our friends) and the obnoxious (everyone else). A series of speakers were ignored until Quigley appeared on stage. Launching into one of his characteristic speeches, he reminded us that “While it may be love that makes the world go round, wine makes it go around twice as fast” and that “When an employment ad asks for a Harvard grad or the equivalent, that means two Princeton grads, three Penn grads, or a Columbia grad part-time on the weekend.” Ha-cha!

Soon, however, the speeches were over, and we got down to the business of eating. Just kidding. We actually wandered around the the tent saying disingenuous hellos to freshman floormates, only to return to seats which had been long cleared of our uneaten food. Damn.

In the spirit of cross-class communication, the Bwog is proud to conclude this post with our very own set of Senior Dinner rules. For you, children. For you.

  1. Heed the “no spike heels because they’ll sink into the grass” email warning. Especially if you are fat.
  2.  

  3. Don’t get caught stealing wine from Bwog’s table.
  4.  

  5. Don’t worry about wolfing down your dessert. The ice cream somehow has the property of not melting. After 30 minutes of observation, Bwog’s dining partner concluded that this is creepy.
  6.  

  7. Laugh at Quigley’s jokes. It makes him grin like a foolish British schoolboy.
  8.  

  9. Get hammered. The whole thing goes down much easier that way.

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4 Comments

  • quigster says:

    @quigster I love quigley. I wish he emerged from his office more often to mingle with us minions. the only time I’ve ever seen him, apart from convocation and his appearance in the 2004 varsity show, was when he was fleeing hamilton during a fire alarm.

    you are our sovereign, quigley, the symbol of our school’s unity! don’t abandon us so!

  • mmhmm says:

    @mmhmm same jokes last year. and the year before that. and, actually, one of those was repeated at graduation in 2004.

  • senior says:

    @senior right, but isn’t quigs just making fun of himself. i mean he can’t be serious with “the most successful class in the history of columbia” and “you are SPECIAL!”

  • hater says:

    @hater at every senior dinner, quigley makes up for four years of maladministration with one night of boozing, and without fail the seniors love him for it. quigs might as well jingle his car keys in their faces while they laugh and clap.

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