Jan

23

Dispatch from Mac – Guess that brew!

Written by

Hey Girlfriends! Barnard correspondent Juli Weiner here. You could be drinking Macintosh’s Java City coffee and you might not even realize it!  Take Bwog’s quiz and find out!  Yay!

javaI. Does it taste like lukewarm SplendaTM?

II. Does it look better than you thought it would look sitting next to your Art History textbook?

III. Do you look forward to displaying it on top of said textbook in such a way that when you lift the cup and put it down you will draw attention to the fact that you take Art History?

IV. Did it provide just the perfect complement to your broccoli, goat cheese, and sun-dried tomato low-carb, no-sodium “pizza”?

V. Does it remind you of your old babysitter, Nicole, who never played games with you and who later stopped watching you when she went to Bryn Mawr and interned at the Philadelphia Inquirer?

VI. Does the chalky aftertaste linger in your mouth through Intro to Psych and later through Feminism and Post-Modernism?

VII. Did it come from the same general vicinity of Blue Java but in a slightly different cup, (though both cups say Columbia University on them!!!), and do you take it to the same classes as people take their Blue Java cups, but it’s slightly different from a Blue Java coffee and so you feel the need to loudly rally against the constructionist overtones in your Women and Culture class?

VIII. Did you just wipe some off your H&M messenger bag with a copy of the Bulletin?

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26 Comments

  1. this is  

    this is not even close to witty. it's just offensive and perpetuates ridiculous barnard stereotypes.

  2. who cares...  

    what it represents...it just isn't remotely funny and tries way too hard.

  3. what

    was the point of this post?

  4. hey  

    hey girlfriend, you sooo funny. tee hee. omg macintosh coffee tastes even better when you purge it up! whoops, i'm late for my first-year seminar!

    smooches, barnard-bear

  5. well  

    I was going to complain about this post, but all taken care of. Good work.

  6. this post  

    once again proves that all Barnard girls are SLUTS. It's right there in the text.

  7. This post...?

    ..yeah, useless.

  8. soundly rejected  

    this post was

  9. wow  

    nice try. does anyone else think the quality of bwog has gone down immeasurably this semester

    • hello

      I am a male student, so I guess this post isn't really addressed to me. But, first of all, I had said coffee today and it wasn't that bad, though the author in question has a bit of a penchant for tasting Columbia food/drink, so I'll let her run with that one. Second, this post brought a smile to my face at least once, and perhaps twice or three times, a feat that only commenter number 2 managed to duplicate.

    • umm  

      the semester is about 6 days old...how about giving it some time before doubting bwog. it has its highs and lows day by day anyway.

  10. well...

    i was actually really amused, but whatevs.

  11. point VII  

    was pretty funny.

  12. whateveur  

    i thought it was fucking funny so fuck y'alls.

  13. please make it stop

    this girl (the same one who wrote the tasti-d horror) isn't funny. at all. I'm not offended, I don't care about barnard stereotypes, but there's no humor here.

  14. the worst thing  

    is a chai tea latte from blue java.

    Don't even try it. You will die.

  15. HA HA  

    THIS POST IZ SO FUNNNN-E, GURLFRIEND!!!!!!

  16. Poor girl...  

    She's getting grilled. I guess that's the way of the Bwog.

  17. she's a moron

    whoever wrote this is a fucking idiot. try writing something new and original next time.

  18. no more  

    Why did I just read this? Crap. I want my 15 seconds back. Or just tell the new sex columnist to post something new. Now THAT was gold.

  19. billie

    oh barnard girls, get over it. it was funny, actually-- and the bwog is doing a great job lately, in my opinion. i've taken to reading it instead of gawker of late.

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