Fairweather Bwogger Sara Vogel reports from the frontlines of Transportation Alternatives’ Tour de Brooklyn bike ride with a gruesome tale of famished athletes after a free lunch.

bikers 1Dyker Heights is far. Two trains and a bus far, and it always seems farther on Sundays. But Adria and I rubbed the sleepies from our eyes Sunday morning and waited for public transportation to take us to Dyker Heights Park anyway for some high quality NHS-style community service. We began slathering bagels with peanut butter and jelly for the flock of bikers that would be using the park as a rest stop on the Tour de Brooklyn that morning.

We even got to cut two cases worth of oranges with these nifty slicers, and to chat up the dozen or so high school volunteers from Brooklyn Tech about the newest MTV Laguna Beach spin-off, set to exhibit the young lives of their classmates next year.

And then the bikers arrived.

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It wasn’t a flock so much as a horde of three thousand helmeted, two-wheeled, spandex-bound creatures led by a caravan of police vehicles. The volunteers dove out of the way as the bikers abandoned their vehicles and stormed the food, tearing at the bagel sandwiches, granola bars and bananas. I maintained sturdy enough footing to grab a bagel and a granola bar for fellow Bwogger and rider, Armin, who I spotted through the mess.

In five minutes, the table was ravaged. When the bagels ran out, bikers gnawed feverishly at orange peels and scooped gobs of natural peanut butter straight out of the jar.

“At least it’s protein,”  I heard one peanut butter slurper say.

And then just as abruptly as they had arrived, the horde rolled out, fed and watered, to tear up the streets in the name of environmentalism.

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– Photos by Armin Rosen.