Oct

22

John Jay: Questionable Content

Written by

 Real fish.  Or is it?

Recently, members of Columbia’s staunch vegan community have accused John Jay of mislabeling non-vegan food with the “VN” stamp.  Specifically, students have reported suspicions that the vegan-labeled eggplant parmesan and the turkey burger plates just plain can’t be.

Vicki Dunn, Director of Columbia Dining Services, responded immediately to pacify students.  “From time to time, we do get new products like turkey burgers that are actually vegan.”  She also addressed doubts about the Italian favorite with, “We do make eggplant parm with soy cheese.”

Columbia Dietitian-in-Chief, Ina Tsagarakis, affirmed this with her testament that “Vegan items have absolutely no animal products.”  The vegetarian label, less strict than the vegan label, refers to lacto-ovo vegetarian items.

 But still, to make sure that students are not deceived, Dunn ordered a “review [of] the menu procedure” with staff to ensure its accuracy.  You can rest assured that any “vegan sausage” is actually meat-free, but we can’t guarantee that it’s tasty.

– Sarah Camiscoli

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24 Comments

  1. sec of education  

    Bwog, you're supposed to let me know when the sec'y of education is speaking on campus! He had a speech start at 11:30am.

  2. to mint  

    is a great verb

  3. Harmony Hunter  

    my friend used to be vegan but now he lives in harmony and I think he needs my help, guys! where is his dorm? god i'm so lost... I'm writing this on my iphone right now and I think I'm in Avery

  4. Eliminate  

    all special menus and have people hunt or gather their food.

  5. ...  

    Yeah, because what John Jay needs is two years of will-they-or-won't-they tension that goes nowhere and unendurable hipster non-sequitur jokes.

  6. in a related story  

    Students were in disbelief when they found a brand of margarine labeled as margarine and not butter. Specifically, students said that anything that tasted so creamy and delicious and so much like butter could not be butter. Vicki Dunn was busy helping vegan idiots at press time, and could not be reached for comment.

  7. vegans are

    losers, seriously you guys need to get a life and stop complaining. Mix ups like this wouldn't happen if you didn't make things so difficult

  8. boy-kia  

    I'm reading your article, Sarah!!

  9. nope  

    This Vicki Dunn person seems pretty confused about what "vegan" means - "vegan turkey burgers" is not a thing.

  10. let's be honest

    There are enough vegan options in John jay already more meat. How can you cook collard greens without bacon that's just a travesty.

    • word  

      to that. collard greens without meat in 'em, it just ain't the same. i'm forced to inundate them with tabasco sauce [granted, could imagine worser fates].

    • enough options?  

      let's be honest: you've never tried being a vegan. being a vegan doesn't mean that you just don't eat meat, you have to eat other nutritious foods to compensate.

      @#13: try to be tolerant and maybe ask someone why they don't eat meat.

  11. 2150  

    it's good they're going to double check on this!

  12. Vegans

    are hilarious. You know what they test all those supplements and fake-meat products on before they commercialize them? You guessed it: animals. Those same animals you're trying to save by ignoring your body's natural dietary needs.

    • evidence?  

      I'm not sure what you're basing this on. which products are you referring to? Perhaps there are a few I'm unaware of; either way, it's certainly false to claim that most, or even many, fake meat products and dietary supplements intended for vegans are tested on animals.

  13. Well  

    I'm sorry that you "have to eat other nutritious foods to compensate?"

    1. i'm not sure how this is responsive to anything in #10. a. there are already an enormous number of vegan options at JJ, FAR disproportionate to the number of vegans at columbia. b. i'm not sure how that responds to the fact that collard greens are nearly impossible to cook correctly without pork.

    2. being a vegan is a choice. if you don't like the options don't be a vegan. (though to clarify, there may be very rare medical circumstances in which it isn't a choice).

    3. just because a small proportion of the population has celiac disease doesn't mean that there are dozens of gluten free options at john jay (yes i know there are actually many dishes that appear to lack gluten, but they're not marked as such--they very well may contain gluten binders etc.) the number of options relative to the number of vegans is frankly ridiculous. out of the 6 dishes offered for dinner tonight at john jay 5 of them were vegan. most, like black beans, benefit from a small amount of meat flavoring. some, like polenta, taste revolting when cooked without chicken stock. polenta without chicken stock is like a burger without meat. oh wait, they make those. are they good? no.

  14. number 16  

    was in reply to 14

  15. Get a life  

    Vegans are, with few exceptions, generally self-absorbed pantywaist psychic vampires who suck the life out of any room they enter. They're moralistic killjoys, and we shouldn't be treating them with the undeserved respect they insist is theirs by right.

    Screw them if they don't like the food in John Jay. The food's marginal enough there as it is, why make it unbearable?

  16. i bet harmony hunter

    is a vegan

  17. i love

    sarah camiscoli

    soooooooo
    much!

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