“People like chocolate. People like wine. Let’s put them together.”

When we spotted ChocoVine featured prominently at the front of our fair International the other day, the first thing we wanted to see was the supply and demand curve used in the slide deck that eventually produced this abomination. The second thing we wondered was what the hell it tasted like. Perhaps we should have been tipped off when we bought the bottle and the cashier at International told us, “Ehh… I didn’t want to bring it in,” and muttered something about how the bottle just exudes class. Nevertheless, the intrepid Bwog staff tried it so you don’t have to. Our gut reactions below.

Initial Reactions

  • “Holy shit”
  • “Oh God”
  • “My mouth hurts”
  • “The consistency of this is really alarming”
  • “Oh this is authentic
  • “Anybody else getting a cough syrup aftertaste?”

Introspection and reflection

  • “Tastes like Bailey’s”
  • “It’s just like chocolate milk and Nikolai”
  • “When you swish it around your glass you get this sort of residue”
  • “Don’t you get the hazelnut? Or Nutella?”
  • “I don’t taste the chocolate… no wait, there’s chocolate. But it’s like fake chocolate.”
  • “It looks suspiciously like chocolate milk”
  • “Tastes like melted chocolate ice cream”


  • “I feel like it has a purpose. Somewhere, for something”
  • “I would never buy it but it’s perfectly drinkable”