Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
Articles

Sexiling, A How-To Guide

Bwog is here to help

The roommate relationship is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon. You love or hate each other (or both in the same week), listen to each other’s drunken snoring, see each other on your worst hair days, and awkwardly meet each other’s parents— this may be the most important connection of your undergraduate career. Despite the great depth and significance of your cohabitation, sometimes you reaaalllyyy need the room to yourself. This is where the delicate art of sexiling comes into play. Bwog has a few helpful hints:

Create a diversion:

  • Develop a scavenger hunt to help them explore the five boroughs. (or pay someone to develop one for $12)
  • Throw a dinner party in their honor somewhere else.
  • Order an entire Koronets pizza and challenge them to finish it before they come home.
  • Buy them a cool new tent to test out on the lawn.
  • Rent or buy an irresistible bounce house to place on Low Plaza.

It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission:

Drastic Measures:

  • File a formal space request through Columbia University Event Management.
  • Gas the room with Axe body spray (Bonus: ladies love it).
  • Hack your door via MIT.
When all else fails:

 Wrong body parts via Shutterstock

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

Have Your Say

Most exhausting walk on campus?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Favorite Comments

*sigh* If only we could drop politicians from tall buildings instead. (read more)
20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
March 17, 2019
In the 1930s politicians would drop fliers from tall buildings on pedestrians below (read more)
20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
March 17, 2019

Recent Comments

*sigh* If only we could drop politicians from tall buildings instead. (read more)
20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
March 17, 2019
In the 1930s politicians would drop fliers from tall buildings on pedestrians below (read more)
20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
March 17, 2019
You are amazing!!! (read more)
Barnard Academic Award Recipients Announced
March 16, 2019