Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

Absolute and m2m Back From the Dead

Someone forgot to double tap.

What Morningside was like while you were away.

Much to the horror of  Columbia students and Morningside residents alike, Absolute Bagels and m2m were both recently shut down by the Health Department. (How could something so delicious be so unsanitary! They’re boiled!) It didn’t take long for things to get back to normal though. Both Absolute and m2m are back up and running! Yes, just like in a B-list zombie flick, they have returned from the grave to bring about 1,000 years of darkness spread a world shattering disease sell cheap food. So get it while it’s hot and just try to ignore the lingering smell of rat urine wafting in from the back of the building! Ignorance is bliss, folks.

The end of the world via Shutterstock

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

3 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I’m going to wait in line outside tomorrow morning for my traditional Sunday morning bagel and pretend this never happened.

  • anon says:

    @anon Bwog is not funny anymore :(

  • lazy college senior says:

    @lazy college senior strikethrough. ugh.

  • Have Your Say

    Where are you going this summer?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    If the whites won't save us, who will? (read more)
    Ira Katznelson Named Interim Provost of Columbia University
    August 25, 2019
    If they were POC, that would be cultural appropriation (read more)
    COMIC: 5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Got To Columbia
    August 23, 2019
    Just double the tax (read more)
    A Columbia First Year’s Guide To Tipping
    August 23, 2019