Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
Articles

Senior Wisdom: Tyler Benedict

Tyler Benedict

Tyler Benedict

Today’s First Senior Wisdom: Tyler Benedict, from CUMB and other annoying things. Want to get more annoyed? Go watch him read at Orgo Night tonight.

Name, Hometown, School: Tyler Benedict; Dayton, OH; CC.

Claim to fame? I’m the annoying guy from Orgo Night and all those CUMB videos. For a brief moment I was also annoying on TV.

Where are you going? Right now? Probably to HamDel. Why, where are you going?

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  • Haters gonna hate.
  • You will have the best conversations with people who disagree with you, even if said conversations don’t always feel good.
  • If you want a quiet place to poop, head to the seventh floor of Dodge (h/t Ziyad Abdelfattah).

Back in my day…Ferris didn’t suck, gifs weren’t a thing, and there was still a line at the package center.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I don’t know…I give nice hugs? Honestly, I have no idea why I exist, I’m sort of waiting for a meteor to come down and end the whole charade.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To JJ’s curly fries: I couldn’t have done it without you. We made it, baby.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Last time I checked, you couldn’t get free blowjobs at Westside on Fridays. So yeah, I’ll stick with cheese.

One thing to do before graduating: Go on a road trip with the marching band. We promise you’ll remember most of it.

Any regrets? I probably should have said hello to a lot more of you than I did. But as a wise man once said: no regrets, Texas forever.

 

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

29 Comments

  • Texas Forever says:

    @Texas Forever JJ’s curly fries. Preach.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Tyler is literally the nicest and funniest person of all time! He’s so friendly to everyone he meets and manages to be such an effortless comedian. I’m really lucky to have gotten to know him briefly before he graduates!

  • Westside Shopper says:

    @Westside Shopper Wait—I was supposed to pay for those blowjobs? Awkward…

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous This SW was annoyingly lame.

    1. JJ11 4 Lyfe says:

      @JJ11 4 Lyfe LMAO DAM THIS DUDE MAD lol u dont gotta be salty like dat dude just chill in the cut and do you baby let my boy Tyler have his moment idk but remember i still got love 4 u 2

      1. CC'14 says:

        @CC'14 I mean, this is probably uncalled for, but OP does have a point in that it seems like very little effort was put into this SW. I’m sure there are plenty of people who would’ve liked an opportunity to write one, and they’re entitled to be a little miffed that someone who got that opportunity doesn’t seem to’ve used it to it’s full potential.

        JJ11 doe, I feels you, but you bein’ mad annoyin’ and shit.

        1. JJ11 4 Lyfe says:

          @JJ11 4 Lyfe shit man u hurtin my feelins and shit but love u 2

      2. CC'14 says:

        @CC'14 ^ meant to be a response to @Anonymous.

      3. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous the most obvious james bennett post i’ve ever seen

        1. Obviously James Bennett says:

          @Obviously James Bennett Come on, Jonny Lee, buddy, this ain’t right man. Still love you though.

      4. hey there says:

        @hey there is this James?

        Sure does sound like you.

  • One of the best guys I've ever met says:

    @One of the best guys I've ever met It’s been an honor, sir.

  • JJ14 says:

    @JJ14 That’s three senior wisdoms now from JJ14 2009-10!

    1. jj 14' says:

      @jj 14' for a second, I forgot Grecia existed…

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous lyke dis if fnl makes u cry evry time

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous hmmm, yummy,,, “cumb”

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous is he single? is he straight?

    1. Gandalf says:

      @Gandalf Is it secret? Is it safe?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous You sound like a senior asshole.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous And I dont see any steers on you either, Texas.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous What the fuck does that mean? If you’re making a reference to the above senior wisdom, I didn’t read it. The guy looks like an asshole in that picture.

  • jj 14' says:

    @jj 14' jj 14 fo’ life!

  • FNL 4EVA says:

    @FNL 4EVA Just when you thought he was taking this whole thing as a joke, he quotes Mr. Tim Riggins. You clearly have at least some shit together.

  • anon says:

    @anon Tyler is the best. Go get a hug from him while you can!

  • Orli says:

    @Orli Tyler, you’re the best. you absolutely nailed orgo night once again and writing it with you has been the best part of college so far. twas a gift to learn from the master.
    Carry on my wayward son!

  • @This is possibly the worst SW ever written It’s honestly awful.

  • G(tb)^2 says:

    @G(tb)^2 “One thing to do before graduating: Go on a road trip with the marching band. We promise you’ll remember most of it.”

    So true.

  • clear eyes, full hearts says:

    @clear eyes, full hearts can’t lose.

    congratulations ty ty baby!

  • clear eyes, full hearts says:

    @clear eyes, full hearts can’t lose.

    congratulations, ty ty baby.

  • Have Your Say

    Most exhausting walk on campus?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Favorite Comments

    Please tell Dining Services to stop serving Tilapia. I believe in lent and want fish but not this. Check out (read more)
    COMIC: ZACK STEPPED ON A RAT
    March 24, 2019
    Politicians - what a bunch of clowns! (read more)
    20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
    March 19, 2019

    Recent Comments

    Please tell Dining Services to stop serving Tilapia. I believe in lent and want fish but not this. Check out (read more)
    COMIC: ZACK STEPPED ON A RAT
    March 24, 2019
    Politicians - what a bunch of clowns! (read more)
    20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
    March 19, 2019
    *sigh* If only we could drop politicians from tall buildings instead. (read more)
    20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
    March 17, 2019
    In the 1930s politicians would drop fliers from tall buildings on pedestrians below (read more)
    20 Memes To Airdrop Everyone In Your Large Lecture Class
    March 17, 2019