Tyler Benedict

Tyler Benedict

Today’s First Senior Wisdom: Tyler Benedict, from CUMB and other annoying things. Want to get more annoyed? Go watch him read at Orgo Night tonight.

Name, Hometown, School: Tyler Benedict; Dayton, OH; CC.

Claim to fame? I’m the annoying guy from Orgo Night and all those CUMB videos. For a brief moment I was also annoying on TV.

Where are you going? Right now? Probably to HamDel. Why, where are you going?

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  • Haters gonna hate.
  • You will have the best conversations with people who disagree with you, even if said conversations don’t always feel good.
  • If you want a quiet place to poop, head to the seventh floor of Dodge (h/t Ziyad Abdelfattah).

Back in my day…Ferris didn’t suck, gifs weren’t a thing, and there was still a line at the package center.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I don’t know…I give nice hugs? Honestly, I have no idea why I exist, I’m sort of waiting for a meteor to come down and end the whole charade.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To JJ’s curly fries: I couldn’t have done it without you. We made it, baby.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Last time I checked, you couldn’t get free blowjobs at Westside on Fridays. So yeah, I’ll stick with cheese.

One thing to do before graduating: Go on a road trip with the marching band. We promise you’ll remember most of it.

Any regrets? I probably should have said hello to a lot more of you than I did. But as a wise man once said: no regrets, Texas forever.