BuzzFeed confirmed every Columbian’s pre-existing opinion: we’re hot, and brains we’ve got. We’re the 5th sexiest, smartest college in the nation, actually, right behind Brown, Dartmouth, Princeton, and UPenn, weighting equally the laboratory-confirmed DateMySchool hotness index and Forbes’ college rankings that place us at #8, behind Williams and the U.S. Military Academy. What could be off about that?! Columbia’s indeed got something for everyone’s taste—GS students for a mature, Brad Pitt-esque physiognomy, SEAS students if you’re into the spectacles, and Barnard and CC students for stereotypical reasons we’ll let you determine. Admire on, Columbia, even if you kinda can’t.

 Real Columbia Students via Shutterstock and Shutterstock