Because you can never get enough obscure dining hall comparisons.

I have a very niche problem. I’m obsessed with the New York Times Tiles game. It is keeping me from fulfilling my responsibilities. It has taken over my life. I’m honestly grateful that I only have the basic New York Times subscription that limits gameplay because if I had access to more than two plays a day for Tiles, I would genuinely get zero work done.

For those unfamiliar, Tiles is a matching game where players are tasked with selecting tiles that contain one or more matching layers with each other to eliminate them until they clear the whole board. The tilesets are gorgeous and it is so satisfying to match the elements together and watch them disappear. I have very strong opinions about these different tilesets, which are each named after a different city. Some are incredible and beautiful and amazing while others are absolutely not it. So, of course, I’ve taken it upon myself to assign each tileset to a dining hall on campus, because I think this is incredibly relevant and important information for society. And because I’m procrastinating all of my final essays. This will mean a lot to a very small amount of people, or maybe just me. Probably just me if we’re being real.

Paris: Hewitt

The Paris tileset is one of the OG patterns. Like Paris, Hewitt was perfectly fine until I discovered other options. For a while, the Paris tileset was the only option that seemed to come up, so I thought it was great, but after other tilesets were introduced to me, this one became pretty repetitive and bland. Also it’s just not as cute as some of the other ones. Just my humble opinion.

New Haven: Faculty House

Faculty house is classy and just that girl, just like the New Haven tileset. I adore this one. She’s simple, but something about those plain colored squares scratches an itch in my brain. The New Haven tileset doesn’t go overboard with design or pattern, but just does it right. Yes, Faculty House literally only serves salmon, but it’s really really good salmon!

Kuala Lumpur: Ferris

The Kuala Lumpur tileset is my favorite out of all of the different patterns in Tiles. The colors and the patterns are so pretty and satisfying. That’s why (perhaps controversially) I assigned it to Ferris, my favorite dining hall on campus. The electronic espresso machines are getting me through this semester. And also the quesadillas when they have them. Proximity to Butler is also a plus, especially during finals season.

Hong Kong: Diana

Diana gets the Hong Kong tileset. I like this one because I think the patterns are nice, despite there being a lack of color. The food at Diana is similar: though it’s lowkey mid, it’s convenient because it’s takeout and you get quite a bit of food for a swipe. I personally am partial to the burrito bowls, especially since Chipotle is egregiously expensive for no reason.

Los Angeles: Fac Shack

The Los Angeles tileset is silly and fun, just like Fac Shack! I thoroughly enjoy this one; the colors and shapes are just so satisfying to me for some reason. Fac Shack just exudes the same energy as this pattern and I can’t really explain why.

Tangier: Liz’s Place

The Tangier tileset is visually a little hectic and not my favorite overall design-wise, which is why I’m assigning it to Liz’s place. I do, however, like the colors and the little bee icons. Liz’s can get super crowded, especially since it’s now the only on-campus coffee shop at Barnard. Despite the fact that the line can get atrociously long at times, I’ll always be partial to it for providing me with the caffeine I need to get through the morning.

Holland: Barnard Sushi Spot

The new sushi spot at the Milstein library gets the Holland tileset. This one’s cute with all the flowers, but is a little boring design-wise compared to some of the other ones. I love the sushi, especially the poke bowls, but it’s slightly inconvenient because you can’t use swipes for anything at this location. Also the boba is absolutely awful here, so that knocks it down a few pegs.

Lisbon: Chef Mike’s

Chef Mike’s gets the Lisbon tileset because it’s overall very nice and I thoroughly enjoy it. The colors and the patterns are very pretty! Even though being in Uris gives me anxiety, Chef Mike’s gives you a lot of value for your meal swipe and overall seems to be a crowd favorite. I also like those free t-shirts they gave out that one time, I have the one that says “Chef Mike’s is kind of a big dill” which is absolutely delightful.

Topeka: Grace Dodge

Grace Dodge gets the Topeka tileset. Though the green is really pretty in this one, the patterns give me a bit of a headache because they’re a little complicated. I’ve heard good things about Grace Dodge, but I personally have not checked it out yet because it’s a bit far from where I live. I feel like this tileset is appropriate because it looks cool and sophisticated, but I simply cannot be asked to bother with it.

Austin: JJ’s Place

The Austin tileset is pretty nice, but the colors and the patterns sometimes make my head hurt. JJ’s is similar in that it’s a convenient spot, but when it gets crowded and the ice cream machine is broken, it becomes a hectic mess. The entrance to the seating area can get so backed up I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. Overall not bad though, extra kudos to the dining staff now that it’s a nearly 24-hour spot.

Brighton: Chef Don’s

I have admittedly never tried Chef Don’s, so I’ve assigned the Brighton tileset to it. It’s cute to look at, but it’s not the most fun to play. No strong feelings either way with this one.

Utrecht: John Jay

The Utrecht tileset is loud, confusing, crowded, and gives me a headache, just like John Jay dining hall. I’ve only been there twice, both times in the first semester of my freshman year, and have not been back since and have no desire to set foot in it again. I avoid both this tileset and John Jay like the plague. Why should I subject myself to pain? NYT Tiles is supposed to be a relaxing game, and this tileset achieves the exact opposite effect. 

That is all, thank you for humoring me and my obsession. If anyone would like to gift me a New York Times Games subscription for Christmas, please reach out via Tips.

Tiles via New York Times