Eva Suarez

Tonight’s second Senior Wisdom: Eva Suarez, who will marry every single one of you.

Name, Hometown, School: Eva Suárez, Washington DC, CC

Claim to fame? I was the best RA you ever had. Or, the worst. I don’t do anything halfway.

Where are you going? Most immediately, I’m moving to Brooklyn and working at a community center. Starting this fall, I’ll be doing the dual degree program between Union Theological and CUNY Hunter, for my M.Div and M.S.W. I recently became a Postulant for Holy Orders in the Episcopal Church, which means that if I play my cards right I should be a priest by 26 (except without the cards, because, you know, gambling). I look forward to marrying you all.

3 things you learned at Columbia:

• Go to the stacks. People regularly tell me that they have managed to go their entire college careers without needing to take out a book and my heart breaks a little. I don’t care if you’re an engineer or what, every human being has something to gain from spending a few moments there when they can, enjoying the quiet and that old book smell and just exploring the mind-boggling depth and breadth of what this school has to offer you. At the very least, you can learn something while you look for a location to have sex discreetly. And on that note, please stop having sex in the South Asia section, it’s distressing.
• You never know what the people around you are going through, so be gentle in your judgment of others. Likewise, most people you interact with are not going to know what’s up with you, so give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t be scared to ask for what you need. And it might not seem like it, but sympathy is an intellectual endeavor. It isn’t, “Gee, it’s too bad that you’re sad.” It’s “Begin at the beginning, what happened when you got to the dentist? Really, tell me, I want to know!” Listening is a skill that needs to be actively practiced if you’re going to be any good at it.
• Everything always gets done. Sometimes it will be easier than you think, sometimes it will follow you like an albatross, but just know that no matter what, things need to get done and you will do them. Make that your mantra, whether on the steps at 4pm or when you’re the last person in the ref room.

Back in my day … 40 oz. seemed like an insurmountable challenge, Ferris Booth was practically tea at the Plaza, and 4 years sounded like a really long time.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I may not know you or like you but I love you with my whole heart and I will laugh at all your jokes because I can’t help myself.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Oh Samad’s, I can’t get enough of your silky smooth hummus, your tight little grape leaves. I have something pretty significant with Milano, but I can never resist the pull of your 25¢ fruit by the foot for long. You’ll always be my spicy little deli on the side.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? It’s probably a cop-out to simply acknowledge that I am lactose intolerant, so I’ll just come out and say it: I hate cheese, and I think it’s gross. People talk about it all the time and I don’t get it. Then again, people talk about oral sex all the time too and I don’t get that, either.

One thing to do before graduating: I know you worked hard to get here and you’re going to work hard to stay, but learn to value caring for yourself the same way you value your other responsibilities. Don’t let everything that happens to you become a referendum on your self-worth. Don’t live like a depressing Satan with your shades always down and papers everywhere. Don’t talk yourself out of stupid, generous impulses. DO buy those big cookies at Café 212 and put them in the microwave. You are your own best teammate, and that means sometimes you just have to just let yourself go to bed, or have that extra glass of champagne, or go for it with that person you want to kiss. What I’m trying to say is—love yourself, and then do what you need to do. It’s really, really going to be ok.

Any regrets? It’s hard to say. There are so many people I could have met, classes I could have taken, clubs I could have joined and listservs I should have bothered unsubscribing to, so it’s hard not to feel that twinge looking around this place and trying to think about my experience as a whole. That being said, I made the decisions that made sense to me at the time with the information that I had available to me. I think once it feels like you’ve finally figured this place out, it’s probably time for you to go.