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Professor Archetypes: The Language Prof Who Just Doesn’t Speak English

By Bwog Staff on Dec 19, 2010 10 Comments

As long as schools like Columbia champion the “sink-or-swim” school of language instruction, you will inevitably come into contact with, whether in fulfilling your requirement or just being intellectually curious, the Language Professor Who Does Not Speak English. This professor can exist in any language department. The idea of this professor is that you are […]

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BwogSalon: Sanctum

By Bwog Staff on Dec 19, 2010 24 Comments

Bwog has hopped, poked, and swiftly skimmed, but now we’re inviting other writers into the Bwog Bubble. We think there’s lots of fantastic campus journalism out there that sometimes slips under the radar. In the spirit of Enlightenment salons from centuries past, we present our newest feature, BwogSalon. Bwog asked the editors of each publication […]

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Frontiers Of Science: It Ain’t Poetry

By Bwog Staff on Dec 19, 2010 23 Comments

Freshpeople! You tired, you poor, you huddled masses gathering to take the Frontiers final today: we promise, college isn’t always like this. To provide some last-minute assistance, here are some haikus sent by one of your own. If you have other haikus, Frontiers-related or otherwise, leave ’em in the comments. Good luck, friends! Two distributions […]

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Lost: Cell phone

By Bwog Staff on Dec 18, 2010 0 Comments

Black Verizon LG cellphone with slide-out keyboard possibly dropped between 116th station and River Hall. Reward offered. Emailcmd2159@columbia.edu if found.

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Professor Archetypes: The Activist

By Bwog Staff on Dec 18, 2010 32 Comments

While working as a professor, the Activist is forced out of his/her/non-gender- specific-pronoun’s natural habitat. Best suited for the front lines of some genre of consciousness-raising event, this experienced and opinionated speaker captures the class with what seems at the time to be an extremely relevant argument against society’s unnecessary gendering of bath products. The Activist Professor sits crisscrossed […]

professor archetypes

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The Finals Weekend Showdown: Finals vs. Papers

By Bwog Staff on Dec 18, 2010 55 Comments

Another vintage post from our archives for you to contemplate while holed up in the library… With classes completed and a weekend now free to bemoan our misery, Bwoggers weigh in from Butler Cafe/salon: what’s worse, studying for finals or writing papers? Papers Remember: every essay is an open book test. With class notes, a few […]

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The Bwog Finals Fortune Teller

By Bwog Staff on Dec 18, 2010 14 Comments

We’re stuck in Butler too, wishing we were back in elementary school when all we had to do was color in the circles and not calculate their velocities relative to the Sun as they hurtle through space. Holding fast to the spirit of youth, we’ve created a cootie catcher. Now this toy you once used […]

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Overheard: People Are Having Fun

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 31 Comments

Just not you! A girl on Broadway, to a group of friends: “I was so drunk I put my face on pizza.”

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Butler Bingo: Fall 2010 Edition, (Reposted for your prandial pleasures)

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 39 Comments

Originally, Bingo was a lottery game called “Il Giuoco del Lotto d’Italia” invented and played in Italy around 1530. Usually, Bingo is a game played by your great aunt. Today, Bingo is a game that will make your procrastination dreams come true. Here’s how to play: sit in Butler. Look at the game board. Scroll […]

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The Graveyard Shift: Gamal at the Coffee Cart

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 7 Comments

Our second installment of Graveyard Shift finds Diana Clarke hanging out with Gamal, late-night/early-morning coffee vendor on 114th Street. Remember: other people stay up late, too. Good luck studying. As students stumble home from Butler in the wee hours, they’re likely to pass a man stocking his coffee cart on 114th and Broadway with fresh […]

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NYT: Operation Ivy League “Typical,” Except for the “Ivy League” Part

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 68 Comments

The New York Times published a story today that calls last week’s bust of a drug ring involving Columbia students “unremarkable, but for one thing: [the] Ivy League clients.” Below, we highlight some relevant new information that our (full disclaimer!) very own Eliza Shapiro helped report: The original anonymous call to Crime Stoppers that prompted […]

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Microsoft Word Just Doesn’t Get Us

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 93 Comments

We, oppressed Humanities students, have discovered, through our weeks of crazed paper-writing, that Microsoft Word doesn’t know anything about anything. If “precolonial” isn’t a real word according to our computers, college is a lie. Here are some words Bwog was punished with that red squiggly line for writing recently. Add your own in the comments. […]

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PrezBo Officially Accepts Term Extension

Bwog Staff 11

board of trustees
don't every leave us prezbo
if prezbo is no longer president is he still prezbo?
prezbo
prezbo must now stock up on more hair products
statements
we're anxiously awaiting prezbo's rapper debut

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Deans Issue Statement On Bacchanal Cancellation

Bwog Staff 49

baccha-no-more
baccha-nooooo
baccha-nope
bacchanal
fall bacchanal
Fiascos (Lupe and otherwise)
maybe columbia is trying to boost school spirit by making students come together in their hatred of the bureaucracy
possibly the bitchiest statement to come out of Columbia that wasn't written by us
us against the bureaucracy
war on fun
we like to party we like we like to party
you can't spell "columbia administration sucks" without "sucks"

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Houses and Homes: Canada

Bwog Staff 1

canada
Houses and Homes 2014
sure would like to be there right now
very exotic
wow what a nice house/home

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Breaking: Baccha-no-more?

Bwog Staff 129

bacchanal
bacchanal may be canceled
bacchaNOOO
coalition against sexual violence
don't worry the bureaucracy has our best interests at heart
oh no another lupe FIASCO
perhaps this will keep Carman safer
public safety is probably thrilled though
war on fun
what are we going to tell the sad first-years to look forward to now

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Houses and Homes: Jordan

Bwog Staff 0

grad students on bwog? unheard of
Houses and Homes 2014
i'm still jealous though
Is anyone at this school NOT spending the summer in a place that's experiencing violence right now?
maybe one of the most delicious smelling submissions bwog has ever had
stay safe

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Houses And Homes: Ukraine

Bwog Staff 2

at least you have a refrigerator though
Houses and Homes 2014
is op part of the ukrainian royal family?
oooh foreign!
send us some please we are so lonely
stay safe
that's not old furniture you're smelling it's mold

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Innovative CUIT Introduces New Email Aliases

Bwog Staff 22

a more professional and friendly way to present ourselves
alias
CUIT listened
email aliases
Jennifer Garner
lionmail
Listen up CUIT

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Where Are You Spending The Summer?

Bwog Staff 7

fuck yeah british columbia
give in to your hate
houses and homes
let the jealousy flow through you
summer's almost over
we heard you liked bwog posts so we put a bwog post in your bwog post so you can read bwog while you read bwog
we're ramping up ye olde bwog postings
welcome to my crib

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