– After placing an order on Campusfood, a voice started talking and thanking me. The speaker was female, and sounded terrifyingly like Skynet. Combine that with killer-omniscient washing machines, and giving life to an online entity named “the Bwog” seems a little reckless. – Why don’t vending machines — EXCEPT for the soda machine next […]

A man in the field reports that while he was making a mess of trying to put together a John Jay ‘fajita’ with Dining Services’ rather weak tortillas, a fellow behind him remarked to a friend, “You know, more people really ought to smoke weed. Then they’d know how to wrap these things properly.”

Bwog has just received a tip from a reader that all prospective salad-eaters at Uris Dining Hall now must fill out a form to complete their order. Help us figure out what’s going on before it’s too late by sending your tips — pictures are appreciated! — to bwgossip@columbia.edu.

Last week, city health inspections revealed that Barnard and the Law School have no hygiene, fulfilling the dreams of cheap shot artists everywhere. But they weren’t the worst the neighborhood has seen; that honor went to campusfood.com staple Giovanni’s last November, which was awarded a whopping 58 points for mice, roaches, mold and insects. Closed […]

It may remind people of their grandma’s apartment, but you heard it here first: Tab – the Betamax of diet soda — is on its way back. Go to Morton Williams and buy a 6-pack. Then, listen to the jingle.Your calorie-free caffeine will never be the same. Update: Shit. It’s caught on.

Dear Bwog, A wise man once said, “You’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore.” Even the fact that I’m quoting Tenacious D should give it away – I’m the least hardcore person to ever exist, ever. I’m politically lukewarm; I like whatever music my roommate likes; I can barely put pepper on my food, let […]

Heard outside a nightclub in Time Square: Jewish female A: What do you call a Jewish dilemma? Jewish female B: What? Jewish female A: Free pork. PAUSE Non-Jewish female (in a confused tone): Oh, I thought you were going to say the Holocaust. That’s a dilemma, right?. Right? – Lauren Zimmerman