-When Columbians aren’t busy drinking fermented horse milk from Kyrgystan, they’re assassinating people—people like Tao Tan. -The stars aligned, and Larry Summers got axed. He’ll no doubt rap to cope. Those Harvard faculty sure were mean to him. But according to David Horowitz, Columbia’s professors are the naughtiest around. Basically, they’re terrorists and/or communists. -You […]

Will Snider reports: Part of an email (“South Field Soundbites”) from Amanda Atkinson, Assistant Director for First Year Housing: In this issue you will find information about: First Year Series Events Discussion: Abortion in the Caribbean

Word has it that it costs the university 15 cents in used energy every time you press the handicapped button to open the doors into John Jay or Butler. Tuition for a full year is about $40,000, which equals 266,666 door openings. If you figure that it takes the door 5 seconds to open and […]

Rumor has it that two CC sophomores, both gay, are getting married — or maybe, got married this past week (not quite sure which). The reason? Columbia offers better financial aid and free summer housing to married students. Looks like Facebook needs a new relationship category: marriage of convenience. — Donna Loffredo