Whether you’re still shaking off your NSOP hangover, or have just realized that you need to take Music Hum, Art Hum, and all of your global core this year, the start of a new semester offers a fresh chance to hear world-renowned academics make awkward sex jokes. Here are this semester’s shining nuggets of wisdom […]

As dawn breaks over this first day of the semester, take a moment to revel in the ridiculous antics your professors will engage in just to get you to stay in (or drop) their class. Bwog’s father never dressed up as a jolly old man in a red suit, but we still feel the excitement in […]

Just as you realize that watching all those Breaking Bad episodes reading all your chemistry textbooks during break still doesn’t shake that feeling that you’re not quite so ready for another semester, your professors made another round of funny comments to get you back into the swing of things. Professor Richard Bulliet, History of America in the Muslim World  […]

Today is the first day of classes and of Columbia’s unofficial two weeks of “shopping.” Accordingly, professors tend to bust out some of their best material in order to sell you the idea that the whole class will be entertaining/worth it/whatever you’re looking for. Sometimes it will be, and sometimes today is simply a masterful […]

Here are a few more quotes from your witty and wry professors. Like, um… Pringles, the, uh, fun of professor remarks doesn’t stop after the first day. Feel free to send in any weird, kitschy, or cute thing your professor says as the year progresses. Prof. Musatti ”Unfortunately, most societies still believe in…monogamy.” John Magyar, […]

Professors say the darndest things. Sometimes it’s unintentional, and sometimes it’s a well planned line that they’ve used for years to break the ice. Either way, we find them funny, and Bwog collects the best quotes at the beginning and end of each semester. Here is a roundup of our favorites so far. Prof. Lambert, […]

Classes start today! And as you probably already know (unless you’re a wee freshperson), today is noteworthy for two reasons: You will actually attend all of your classes. Your lovely profs will say silly/funny/hilarious things to convince you to continue to come to class for the rest of the semester. We at Bwog enjoy a […]

Earlier this week, we compiled your profs’ most outrageous openers, but then you sent in a few more gems. Below, the stragglers of this semester’s silliest: Laura Kay, Stars, Galaxies, and Cosmology “When sending me an email, send it to this address. My other address is filled with spam, mostly regarding body parts that I […]

Professors will say anything to get you hooked, and Bwog is sure that these characters will still have full classes come March. Keep sending in the hilarious, horrifying and otherwise memorable to tips@bwog.com John Collins, Metaphysics “I’m a bit of a maverick. Well, not like Sarah Palin. I’m an unarmed maverick.” Ovidiu Savin, Calculus III […]

New semesters bring new absurdity. On the first day of class, those crazy geniuses who walk among us young folk spice up the classroom with their funny, strange and wise words. Share your professors’ most outrageous openers in the comments. ‘Tis a tradition! And keep sending the semester’s silliest to tips@bwog.com. Image via Wikimedia

The first two days are up. Your profs did what they could to hook you in. Here are the highlights from the crazy geniuses who walk among us. Keep ’em coming! Adam Cannon, Intro to Computer Science/Programming-Java “Cheating is like pornography; you know it when you see it.” Padma Desai, Principles of Economics Desai: “Do […]

You know the drill, unless you were born in 1992. On the first day of classes, professors say sweet, funny, strange and wonderful things to try to keep you in their classes, and also because they are sweet, funny, strange and wonderful people sometimes. When your professor says something worth sharing, email tips@bwog.com or write […]

Professors may not inhale, but they sure say irreverent things on the first day of class. Here are a few you sent in. Keep sending the semester’s silliest from your professors and TA’s to tips@bwog.net. Adam Cannon, Introduction to Computer Science: “I make these problems hard. If I was teaching at Southeastern Mississippi State, they […]

Occasionally, Columbia professors break the monotony of Honesty Policy regurgitation to add a little spice to the first lecture of the semester.  Here are this term’s quips: Xavier Sala-i-Martin, Intermediate Macroeconomics “Empirical evidence suggests that people die.” “There is one big difference between Microeconomics and Macroeconomics, and that is that Macroeconomics is useful.” “Let me […]

Bwog knows that of all days, you are going to class today. Bwog also knows that those smart older people who are teaching your classes either love saying/screaming outrageous things, or really just can’t help it. So please, share the outrage (hilarity, warm fuzzy feelings, fear, etc.) with your fellow students by emailing noteworthy opening […]