MENU CATEGORIES

Connect with us

Submit a Tip
MENU CATEGORIES
Posts Tagged with "opening remarks"
All Articles

Opening Remarks

Though we’re still well in to the Shopping Period, some professors have gone above and beyond to accomplish a rewarding retention rate for the first week of classes by making you feel welcome/uncomfortable/curious where the line between student and professor stands. Whatever the intention or the response, we’ve compiled some of the best memories from […]

Read More
All Articles

Opening Remarks

Depending on how good you are at working the registration system, you’re probably almost done with your first week of the new semester. Give yourself a pat on the back (unless you have Friday classes, in which case you should look up at the dark sky and scream, “why?!”). Though the week’s not quite over, […]

Read More

It’s the first day of classes, and you know what that means… another year, another set of professors trying to trick you into not dropping their class. For the next few days, all professors are legally obligated to pepper their lectures and discussion comments with droll jokes, sage advice, and complete non sequiturs. They may do it to […]

Read More
All Articles

Opening Remarks

Classes begin once again, and the first class is always the time that professors try to woo you with humor and niceness before they push you into Butler for many a busy night. But hey, that doesn’t need to spoil the humor. We think some of these professors could just as well be on Comedy […]

Read More

Tomorrow marks the beginning of something new—a new semester, that is. As is tradition, professors will jazz up their lectures and discussion sections with absurdity and mystery galore. Be sure to send your professor’s words of wisdom and wiseassery to tips@bwog.com, or leave them in the comments.

Read More

The first week of classes is officially over! And your professors have made some stand-out, hilarious, and in some cases genuinely frightening comments. Bask in the glory that is Columbia faculty insanity below. Anthony Donaghue, Statistics: “I know I come across as a nice guy, but don’t let that fool you. I’ve seen enough students […]

Read More

As you’re rushing from Hamilton to Pupin and back again today, keep an ear out not just for midterms and finals information, but for what those old people in front of the lecture hall are actually saying in between the course requirements. On every first day of classes, professors break out the most politically incorrect […]

Read More

Professors still trying to impress? Let us know at tips@bwog.com or comment on this post. Here are some of this week’s highlights. Hlonipha Mokoena, Africa & the Anthropologist: “If you plagiarize, I will descend on you like a ton of bricks.” Sunil Gulati, Principles of Economics “Can we borrow forever? Generally the answer is no, […]

Read More
All Articles

Opening Remarks

Your professors are still in that cute “let’s make the class like me” phase, saying the darndest things to get a laugh during the first few days of class. Before they actually assign homework and their jokes become less endearing, send the inspiring/crazy/out-of-context stuff they say to tips@bwog.com or comment on this post. Here are some […]

Read More

Hopefully you’ve figured out by now that today is the first day of spring semester classes. Your professors almost certainly will have noticed, and they are going to be pulling out all the stops to try to entice you to stay in/drop their class. They’ll be dusting off their absurd anecdotes, fun facts and bad […]

Read More
All Articles

Opening Remarks

Whether you’re still shaking off your NSOP hangover, or have just realized that you need to take Music Hum, Art Hum, and all of your global core this year, the start of a new semester offers a fresh chance to hear world-renowned academics make awkward sex jokes. Here are this semester’s shining nuggets of wisdom […]

Read More

As dawn breaks over this first day of the semester, take a moment to revel in the ridiculous antics your professors will engage in just to get you to stay in (or drop) their class. Bwog’s father never dressed up as a jolly old man in a red suit, but we still feel the excitement in […]

Read More
All Articles

Opening Remarks

Just as you realize that watching all those Breaking Bad episodes reading all your chemistry textbooks during break still doesn’t shake that feeling that you’re not quite so ready for another semester, your professors made another round of funny comments to get you back into the swing of things. Professor Richard Bulliet, History of America in the Muslim World  […]

Read More

Today is the first day of classes and of Columbia’s unofficial two weeks of “shopping.” Accordingly, professors tend to bust out some of their best material in order to sell you the idea that the whole class will be entertaining/worth it/whatever you’re looking for. Sometimes it will be, and sometimes today is simply a masterful […]

Read More

Here are a few more quotes from your witty and wry professors. Like, um… Pringles, the, uh, fun of professor remarks doesn’t stop after the first day. Feel free to send in any weird, kitschy, or cute thing your professor says as the year progresses. Prof. Musatti ”Unfortunately, most societies still believe in…monogamy.” John Magyar, […]

Read More

Have Your Say

What are we in the middle of?

View Results

Loading ... Loading …

Recent Comments

You mean DMX the car-jacker, animal abuser, no child support payin’ creep? You mean the felon who committed assault? (read more)
Bwoglines: R.I.P. DMX Edition
April 10, 2021
I got my vaccine appointment confirmation for Javits, but it doesn’t say which vaccine I’m getting. Is that something that (read more)
My Vaccine Experience At The Javits Center
April 9, 2021
This is great. This should be front page news. (read more)
President Bollinger Announces Columbia Student Support Initiative
April 9, 2021

Comment Policy

The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
  • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
  • Hate speech
  • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
  • Personal information about an individual
  • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
  • Spam or self-promotion
  • Copyright infringement
  • Libel
  • COVID-19 misinformation