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Posts Tagged with "opening remarks"

It’s that time of year again: syllabi are dropping from the sky like rain, your friends are shopping more classes in a week than you’d want to take in four years, and professors are attempting to convince you that they’re actually capable of teaching. And whether they do that by cramming two hours’ worth of […]

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Shopping period has begun and if you think it’s driving you crazy, you haven’t been paying attention to the professors–here are some of the weirdest, wisest, most wonderful words to come out of our profs’ mouths as we pore over their syllabi in fear and excitement. Thanks for sending in quotes and helping to continue […]

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It’s true, classes have barely started – but, as the indefinable They governing our colloquial expressions say, only three things in life are inevitable: death, taxes, and weird professors. In this first week, the realm of syllabi and awkward silences, many of your professors probably haven’t planned out lectures beyond reading over a typo-ridden document […]

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The first week of classes is over, and the opening remarks by your professors are in. We hope your profs stay in such good spirits (especially when they’re grading your papers.) If you hear/see your profs doing any other ridiculous things this semester, tell us about it by sending an email to tips@bwog.com! Anna Caterina Musatti, […]

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“Four score and seven years ago…” – (Former) President Abraham Lincoln, 1863 “Imma let you finish…” – (Future) President Kanye West, 2009 These are just some of the great opening lines of our great history.  Who knows what might be penned among them during this remarkable time: the beginning of 2015 fall classes at Columbia. […]

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Opening Remarks

Though we’re still well in to the Shopping Period, some professors have gone above and beyond to accomplish a rewarding retention rate for the first week of classes by making you feel welcome/uncomfortable/curious where the line between student and professor stands. Whatever the intention or the response, we’ve compiled some of the best memories from […]

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Opening Remarks

Depending on how good you are at working the registration system, you’re probably almost done with your first week of the new semester. Give yourself a pat on the back (unless you have Friday classes, in which case you should look up at the dark sky and scream, “why?!”). Though the week’s not quite over, […]

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It’s the first day of classes, and you know what that means… another year, another set of professors trying to trick you into not dropping their class. For the next few days, all professors are legally obligated to pepper their lectures and discussion comments with droll jokes, sage advice, and complete non sequiturs. They may do it to […]

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Opening Remarks

Classes begin once again, and the first class is always the time that professors try to woo you with humor and niceness before they push you into Butler for many a busy night. But hey, that doesn’t need to spoil the humor. We think some of these professors could just as well be on Comedy […]

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Tomorrow marks the beginning of something new—a new semester, that is. As is tradition, professors will jazz up their lectures and discussion sections with absurdity and mystery galore. Be sure to send your professor’s words of wisdom and wiseassery to tips@bwog.com, or leave them in the comments.

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The first week of classes is officially over! And your professors have made some stand-out, hilarious, and in some cases genuinely frightening comments. Bask in the glory that is Columbia faculty insanity below. Anthony Donaghue, Statistics: “I know I come across as a nice guy, but don’t let that fool you. I’ve seen enough students […]

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As you’re rushing from Hamilton to Pupin and back again today, keep an ear out not just for midterms and finals information, but for what those old people in front of the lecture hall are actually saying in between the course requirements. On every first day of classes, professors break out the most politically incorrect […]

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Professors still trying to impress? Let us know at tips@bwog.com or comment on this post. Here are some of this week’s highlights. Hlonipha Mokoena, Africa & the Anthropologist: “If you plagiarize, I will descend on you like a ton of bricks.” Sunil Gulati, Principles of Economics “Can we borrow forever? Generally the answer is no, […]

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Opening Remarks

Your professors are still in that cute “let’s make the class like me” phase, saying the darndest things to get a laugh during the first few days of class. Before they actually assign homework and their jokes become less endearing, send the inspiring/crazy/out-of-context stuff they say to tips@bwog.com or comment on this post. Here are some […]

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Hopefully you’ve figured out by now that today is the first day of spring semester classes. Your professors almost certainly will have noticed, and they are going to be pulling out all the stops to try to entice you to stay in/drop their class. They’ll be dusting off their absurd anecdotes, fun facts and bad […]

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