“So colonial America’s two greatest exports were sugar, which destroys your teeth, and tobacco, which kills you. Thanks.” –Trademark Eric Foner digression in lecture today. Just don’t get him started on The Great Boston Molasses Massacre.

Overheard in New York’s humor generally relies on the fact that readers are missing context. One of yesterday’s posts, however, relies on the fact that any Columbia student worth their salt knows exactly who they’re talking about. Guy #1: Which one did you make out with? Guy #2: I dunno, I can’t tell the difference. […]

Overheard in an econ class: Person A: “I have a million things to do” Person B: “I think that’s probably a hyperbole” Person A: “What’s the opposite of hyperbole? Hypobole?”

Sunil Gulati on exchange rates: “Stay away from the health club, you want pounds.” Lag from the class. Laughter. – Ana Ortiz

Professor Alfred MacAdams on the translation of Latin American texts: “All of this is like trying to learn sex from a manual and using a blow up doll. There are some things you just can’t learn from books.” –Ana Ortiz

Girl on College Walk: “I make out with Sig Ep a lot. Cause they’re, like, right next door.” – James Williams

Overheard in an EC elevator: Girl #1: “You have insomnia?” Girl #2: “No, I have wind ensemble.” We prefer to view this exchange not as an example of mishearing, but as one friend inquiring about an ailment, and the other friend expounding on its cure.

“Kula kula kula van sola sola sola…” –Multilingual EC security guard, K. Davis, communicating in Cantonese with the Wai Lee delivery man, 2/26. — Neeraj Pradhan —

Overheard after Columbia’s ten-point victory over Brown in Friday’s basketball game: “Too bad for them you can’t pass/fail in basketball.” –Gautam Hans–

Heard outside Math, a young woman explaining to a friend how a professor just didn’t get it: “No, I was like, ‘you don’t understand the difference between a B- and a C+. If you give me a B-, my life is NOT over.”

Overheard in the Carman computer lab: “No, I mean, there’s more pollution and sometimes it smells like maple syrup, but it’s pretty much the same.” –Ashley Nin

Recent CU appearances on Overheard in New York: More Like a Hater Girl: So was he, like, a player? Guy: Who, Charlie? Girl: No, that Genghis Khan guy. –114th and Amsterdam The Philosophy of Being…Ignorant Guy: Do you know what the word “ontological” means? Chick: Yeah…I have seen it before… Guy: Yeah. Me too. Chick: […]

A Barnard tour guide reassuring a parent: “Well, actually, many students get accepted by Columbia and rejected from Barnard.”

Overheard in the SGO: Columbia College Student: I don’t like how you guys don’t have public elections. Anonymous Engineering Student Council Member: Yeah, whatever, we’re fascists. And proud of it. SEAS fascists to world: F u.

People coming out of Mona, 11:20 PM: Guy: Was that a life size cutout of Jeffrey Sachs? Girl: Yeah, I think so. Guy: What the fuck?! – Lydia DePillis