We stand at the edge of a New Frontier—the frontier of unfulfilled hopes and dreams.   Luke, I am your father! United we stand.  Divided we fall. We are the champions, my friends, and we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end.  Another one bites the dust. All that glitters isn’t gold.

So, Columbia has a new financial aid plan This is a good thing Or is it?! Either way, Columbia needs people who’ll get better returns on its money…hire me, please? And in any event, is it at all surprising that GS got the short end of the stick?

After six months in Glasgow, arts columnist still assumes there’s bagpipes in everything. No fair: Columbia students can love their bodies — or have eating disorders — just like everyone else!   As it turns out, major declaration is not as dramatic as Harry Potter would lead you to believe.   “Bullen said she thinks […]

In which… …John Jay lounge becomes a sex shop! And a classroom! …the LLC is cleft in two! …Columbia isn’t the only unethical landlord in Harlem!  …the homosexuals have infiltrated Iran! …a Bwog tip proves inaccurate!  

Boo dearth of housing for GS kids.  Hooray Manhattanville! Boo hateful speech on Juicy Campus.  Hooray censorship! Boo unclear CUIT back up policies.  Hooray transparency on the Information Super Highway! Boo rigid Physics major requirements. Hooray to superficial study of sciences through opinion columns! Boo plagiarism scandal.  Hooray record donation?!  

This headline: “Go Ape For The New Version of the Old Mighty Beast” ESC’s claim that since America elected George Bush, democracy is bad. A good urban exploration column ruined by the claim that there are “tar pits” in Queens. And by its eighth paragraph. Oprah branching out into reality TV. A first-year’s need to […]

Here we are, in the birthplace of homophilia… Or perhaps we’re in the cradle of oppressive tradition… At Columbia, we throw eggs and call people motherfucker for social justice… Because maybe we’re just another underfunded school for children with special needs… Please, please look both ways.

Students subject to Dean’s Discpline to be treated like sex offenders The awesomely-named Serene Jones, a Yale Divinity School prof, will be taking over UTS Columbia really wants to offer a new financial aid package to compete with the likes of Harvard and Stanford, but gently reminds us that it is much, much poorer than […]

“The Internet has created new forms of storytelling.  In some cases, the threat may prove fatal.”  What, pray tell, does he speak of?  Toy Story: the defining allegory of our generation. We won and we lost!  Hooray for a balanced perspective! “Vocalist Shirley Simms remained largely silent.”  Good show! Columbia’s housing selection process is SUITE.  […]

Columbia inexplicably fails to put a front-page story on their website about Vampire Weekend. Meanwhile, Spec takes the low road and calls a Barnard swipe story “Easy Access.” Further downtown, it turns out that the guy from Harry and the Potters has nothing interesting to say. Community Board 9 is up in arms about a […]

Where’s the beef? But can YouTube and modern society eat your flesh? And yet, lack of CC’s Core Curriculum requirement doesn’t preclude taking CC Core Classes? SEAS kids in Avery? Butler: Just not enough like my dorm that happens to be 75 feet away. Lion cubs!

“Professor Madonna Constantine has been sanctioned by Teachers College for plagiarism, according to a memo obtained by Spectator Tuesday evening. The memo, dated Feb. 18, was hand-delivered to professors on the Office of the President’s stationery.” Columbia professors won’t be visiting Ahmadinejad any time soon; they settle for next best petty, cruel dictator Why Shakespeare’s […]

Dear John, I know this will be difficult, but our budding relationship has reached a dead end.  When I met you, it was your culinary skills that made you stand out of the crowd who just wanted to make penis jokes.  I fell so hard for you. I felt my heart beating like a percussion […]

Perhaps I’m a product of another era, but I’m pretty sure that bartenders used to be discouraged from sleeping with their drunk clientele. When I was young, smoking in dorms was not only tolerated, but encouraged, goddamnit! Call me old-fashioned, but everyone knows that the real meaning of Valentine’s day is celebrating monogamous heterosexual relationships […]

Columbia loves bureaucracy, burns employees Back in the day, Columbia was the love police Inhabitants of Sulzberger don’t spend the night alone…they spend it together, in the gym Moral: If you only ever date people in the Spec office, your perspective on Valentines Day/romance/seduction is…different. Only today could a sentence like “ogling [Debora Spar] for […]