The real story behind the swastika cracker-packets Other than the whole flat rate to JFK thing, rising taxi fares affect us slightly less than rising ammonia levels on Mars A compelling glimpse into the life of one of the most elusive creatures, the secretive Jewicus icecreamivorious Captain Prezbo! He’s our hero! Gonna get pollution down to zero! But really, doesn’t […]

Left-wing Orthodoxy…at Columbia? Orthodox Jews…On the Upper West Side? GS Students…Old and Experienced? Passed-Out Student on 4 A.M. Zombie Spree Vandalizes Property on Almost Every Floor in Carman; Eighty-Five Percent of Building Residents Roll Eyes, Pop Ambien, Go Back to Sleep In Alums We Trustee

We rocked so hard, I thought we’d be together forever. And then you came back from Bulgaria with him. So I followed you home. And shouted expletives at your window all night long, and kept strands of your hair in a little box on my nightstand. I didn’t see the harrassment charges coming. From now […]

Columbia alums congegate from Switzerland to Suffolk County… …to relive their youthful protests against Alma Mater’s expansion Meanwhile, the administration creates an office to actually help students, then hides it away deep in the bowels of Dr. No’s waterborne fortress and swears its employees to a code of Masonic-like secrecy Andrew Martin boasts indie credentials, “bathe[s] in […]

“Do stockbroker-grads really need the categorical imperative?” asks Task Force on Undergraduate Education. Meet the people who make indignantly served, 4AM indigestion possible! Suddenly, Wien looks pretty damn good. Dialogue is hard. Let’s start bustin’ skulls. STAFF EDITORIAL: Teach Old People to Use the Internet

Your CC Professor is a Hobo… …but at Least She Has Access to the Company Yacht. Man Oh Man, That Cleverly Constructed Story about Your Grandmother’s Reluctance to Pay Full Price for Your Sister’s Nose Job Was Such A Doozy. Now You Can Totally Have Your Own Country. No Problem. Do You Want to Come […]

Suspended production of the Spectator during midterm week has effaced Bwog’s sense of purpose. We’ve found an unworthy substitute in ripping off NY Times headlines. Enjoy! New Gatehouse Theatre for the Harlem Stage opens in former water pump thing at 135th Street and Convent (fairly close to us). There’s still rushing water inside, just one of […]

Spectator Takes on Russia, World Oohs and Aahs McDonald’s Opening Deserves Headline Fuck Naked Parties. Fuck ME!  Flier-Posterer Responsible for Posting Fliers Latino Studies Deep-Sixed for Less Intimidating Hispanic Studies

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGULATI!   Regurgitated press releases…it’s what’s for breakfast.  Spec + PrezBo = BFF  There are planets! In outer space! And we can see them now! Fetch me my telescope, Jeeves!  Follow golf. It’s just so much more civilized. Plus, they win things.

Groundskeeper describes sacred battle against beetles and bacteria  CB7 affirms your personal right to get shitfaced on Thursdays Manhattanville to Columbia: “Oh come on, don’t listen to the haters, we’re not that blighty. We can change, baby!” …And the Minuteman aftershocks just keep on coming Edit- Sorry about the old news. Foiled by the Spec website. 

In Move of Solidarity with Students, CU Facilities Employees Pretend to Do Work Without Actually Doing It Administration Refuses to Pull All-Nighter, Grants Itself Extension on Decision-Making Paper I Know!  We’ll Do a Big Performance Art Piece to Protest!  Then You—Yeah, You, the Up and Coming Filmmaker—Can Tape It and Sell the Footage for TV! […]

Just Another Nobel Prize—but What Do You Figure Fox Will Comment on Tomorrow? Remember that Increase in Financial Aid?  SAC Commands CUC to Stand Firm in Its Commitment Marvin Stewart Packs Pepper, Unidentified Minuteman Kicks Protester on National Television; You Heard It Here First  Spectator Photo Coverage Foreshadows Varsity Show Publicity, Other People Get Nastier […]

Fascist Columbia bureaucracy to violate Facebook privacy of left-wing fascists in investigation of attack on right-wing fascists. After action, students to think. Minutemen! Minutemen! Minutemen! Minutemen! Minutemen! Vaccinations! You’re all gonna die, says fire safety chief A little known facility you probably have no use for closes.    

Minuteman? More like 10-second man! (See previous post) J-School Dean and New Yorker press critic Nicholas Lemann whines about negative press coverage  Hockey team gets reinstated, apologizes, must stop being p$#@!%s We’re here, we’re queer, we’re … not in the top 20? Two men charged for Sept. 17 murder-robbery of Barnard employee  

Pussy, Pussy, Pussy, Pussy, Pussy.  Thank God I Can Finally Do That Without Fear Of Repercussion. Butler Employees Encouraged to Smuggle Contraband Across the Border; Library Explodes with Guns, Illegal Aliens, Cheap Prescription Drugs Alma Matters Wins Election, Loses Idealism At Long Last, a Chris Kulawik Column We Can All Agree On