Earlier this week, we were tipped a document stating that an alleged Russian spy was recruiting at a “major” NYC university…perhaps Columbia? Inspired by this McSweeney’s column, our top conspiracy theorist describes the double life of a Columbia student turned secret agent. You begin preparing for your life in the shadows in the second week […]

Cynthia Murphy, one of the Russian spies who has destroyed everything that is holy (Montclair, New Jersey) attended Columbia B-School, and got her MBA in May, Bloomberg (not the mayor) confirms. That means we all went to school with a SPY! The Kremlin probably has your UNI on file or something. Putin knows that you […]