In which we give closure to the last seven days of your life.  October 4th chickens come home to roost: Minutemen blow hot air from California, protesters counter with petitions  College Walk plays host to pan-Asian extravaganza, pan-American militarism, and pan-digestive experiences.  Winners: Econ department, alternative URLs. Losers: “Discounted” metrocards, raunchy sex on Columbia’s dime […]

-When Columbians aren’t busy drinking fermented horse milk from Kyrgystan, they’re assassinating people—people like Tao Tan. -The stars aligned, and Larry Summers got axed. He’ll no doubt rap to cope. Those Harvard faculty sure were mean to him. But according to David Horowitz, Columbia’s professors are the naughtiest around. Basically, they’re terrorists and/or communists. -You […]

–Jeffrey Sachs and Gawker partied hard with Bwoggers. Grandpa Munster couldn’t make it. Well, even without his help, we may get some action, and from a sweet-smelling gentile, no less! -Do you remember that huge fockin’ blizzard? We forgot until we saw a giant phallus in the snow. Seriously. God knows how this traumatized impressionable, […]

– Orientalism is declared hot while EALAC grad students get their freak on in the library. – Uris Dining Hall’s new Salad Bureaucracy induces shortage of tiny yellow no. 2 pencils. Related: John Jay workers too sober to fold up fajitas. – Barnard unveils its new student center to which architecture majors and Gothamists cry, […]