But wait, there’s more! The Blue & White’s May issue continues, with the first of our Campus Characters. This feature introduces you to a handful of Columbians who are up to interesting and extraordinary things. This month staff writer Matthew Schantz gets to know Josh Faber, GS’12.

Illustration by CHloe Eichler

Josh Faber, GS’12, known by some as “the guy with the egg sandwich” or “the kid with the blue hair,” likes to get people talking. He earned his title when Fox’s O’Reilly Factor producer Jesse Watters interviewed Josh for one of the network’s Columbia-baiting segments. Faber was returning to campus after running out to get breakfast, and, he recalls, “As I was walking back, a well-dressed man with a microphone asked me for an interview. He asked if I could finish the sandwich or put it down.” Genuinely more interested in his breakfast purchase, Faber retorted “No,” and began to walk away. The cameraman relented, and told Faber he could keep the sandwich, but Faber had a few demands: “No matter what you do,” he told the reporters before the interview, “this sandwich will not make me look bad on TV.”

Faber succeeded in a way that George Costanza couldn’t. He weaved his way through provocative questions, including, “Is there a Muslim problem?” sandwich soundly in hand. After his 10-minute interview was cut down to a handful of soundbites, Bill O’Reilly admitted on-air, “that guy with the sandwich had a point.”

It’s no surprise the O’Reilly crew asked Faber for an interview—he certainly stands out in a crowd. His hair is a mix of brown and faded green. He wears ripped cut-offs regardless of the season. With his thick, curly wisps of beard, Faber most resembles a punk-rock faun.

Read more…

If you didn’t get a chance to pick up a copy of the May issue of The Blue & White on campus, you can still peruse the highlights on Bwog. The interview with Brian Greene and musings on metabolism are only the beginning, there’s much more to come! This month, senior editor Sylvie Krekow recounts her shockingly fictional run-in with the elite forces at a local grocery store—sampling cheese at Westside will never be the same.

Illustration by Liz Lee

“It’s something you have to train for,” said Nick. His dark, hard eyes were fixed on me from under his hat. Beneath his chiseled chin was a uniform that seemed just a little too crisp. I nodded, puzzled by the seriousness—I was just there to ask him a few questions about supermarket security. It’s not like I was asking about CIA secrets.

“Uh huh,” I replied, jotting down notes. “So… you have to train your employees? Is it a big problem?”

Nick’s eyes narrowed. “Shoplifting is a $30 billion a year business, and kids will take anything and everything. A girl once tried to walk out with $350 worth of cheese samples. Unbelievable. Westside is a family place,” he growled. This was turning from a Food Network special into a Sopranos episode. I ogled the bank of security camera monitors out of the corner of my eye. Cameras are a normal part of supermarkets, right?

“About this training process—what happens?” I stammered. “I heard about this kid—he got really drunk, and I heard he came here and used the same puffed rice cake to sample two cracker spreads. And, my point is, he got tackled and arrested 20 seconds later. That must take some serious training!”

Nick didn’t flinch. “We’re no different from any other store. We protect our merchandise. We watch it carefully, but that’s all. We’re a family place. Any more questions?”
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Behold, a rather comic episode of “reply all” mayhem, featuring DD herself:

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Manning Marable

Today at 5:30 pm in Roone Arledge Auditorium, Columbia is hosting a ceremony to honor the life of Dr. Manning Marable. Open to the public, the event is organized by CU’s Institute for Research in African-American Studies (founded by Marable in 1993), and the Center for Contemporary Black History.

Marable, a distinguished historian, activist, and mentor, died on April 1st. His death came just before the publication of his biography of Malcolm X, the culmination of a lifetime of scholarship. The book rigorously revisits all aspects of Malcolm X’s life, questioning much of what was enshrined in his autobiography. It is an eerie coincidence, New Yorker editor David Remnick points out in his review, that Malcolm X similarly died on the eve of publication of his book. (See also reviews from The New York Times and The Root.)

Columbia was deeply involved in Marable’s research. His digital archive and multimedia research tool The Malcolm X Project was both contributed to and used by his students, many of whom paid tribute to him on The Root and NPR.

Photo via IRAAS

Nate Silver on Journalism Day

Allow us to take advantage of our ability to post at leisure, and direct your attention to the Henry Pringle Lecture, delivered by Nate Silver to the graduating class of the Journalism School early last week. Yes, Bwog may be more likely to prick up our ears at the title “Advice for Young Journalists in the Digital Age” than the average undergrad, but Silver provided much nuanced commentary on the changing ways we read and write, that is applicable to all students. We have unprecedented privilege in our access to news, and have a duty to be responsible consumers of it, if not producers.

Silver licensed his politics blog, FiveThirtyEight, to the New York Times last year. His career path leading up to this, involving a miserable consulting gig, baseball predictions, and poker, is interesting enough in itself. However, his main advice was the following:

• Read anything and everything
• Be entrepreneurial
• Learn how to make an argument
• Understand how to work with data and statistics

Hopefully this has piqued your interest enough to check out his full speech. And as for those last two points, you may want to look at opportunities to get involved in debate; and at the Statistics course offerings (they count for the science requirement,) and of course their CULPA listings. Now that there is extra wiggle room in course registration, you might find yourself interested in dipping a toe in the water.

Photo via Columbia Journalism

A press release has just been issued announcing that Prezbo and the Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus will sign an agreement at 10:30 am tomorrow, “formalizing their intention to reinstate Naval Reserve Officers Training Corps (NROTC) programs at Columbia for the first time in 40 years.” The ceremony will take place onboard the navy ship USS Iwo Jima, which is currently docked at Pier 88 on the Hudson River (near the Intrepid) for the Navy’s annual Fleet Week.

According to the statement:

Under the agreement, the NROTC program will have an office on Columbia’s campus and active duty Navy and Marine Corps officers will meet with Columbia NROTC midshipmen during routinely scheduled office hours. Navy and Marine Corps-option midshipmen will participate in NROTC through a unit hosted at SUNY Maritime College in Throgs Neck, NY.

If you didn’t get a chance to pick up a copy of the May issue of The Blue & White on campus, you can still peruse the highlights on Bwog. In “At Two Swords’ Length” two writers take opposing sides of a truly contentious collegiate issue and duke it out with their sheer wits. This month senior editor Conor Skelding and literary editor Amalia Scott face off on whether or not they should strain themselves whilst facing off.

Illustration by Maddy Kloss

Affirmative

I go to Butler to study, sometimes. Other times I go to sip Oren’s and do pleasure reading, just to piss people off. I go to Butler and I see wrecks of human beings. You’ve seen them: Red Bull-chugging, toe-tapping, pill-popping, shuddering little messes. I’m talking about the folks setting Facebook statuses to, “OMG in butler 8 hrs today… got nothing done,” or, “In suchhh bad shape… this soash paper is making me fattt.”

Here’s an idea, my little masochist: Move. Get your ass to the gym. I swear I’ve seen you there before; weren’t you wearing jeans and using the Cybex curl machine?

Spending all this time studying or complaining about studying won’t get you anywhere. Think about the whole Core, friend. Though today’s swim test and physical education requirement are mostly sad, awkward artifacts of days long gone, they are here for a reason. Rumor has it the swim test was created so that Columbians would be able to flee across the Hudson in case of an Indian raid, so you are not meant to excel strictly scholastically—no, physical competence is part of your Columbia education, too.

The conflict continues!

Need a break from your summer vacation? Log on to SSOL!

The University Registrar sent out an e-mail this morning announcing two new registration periods scheduled for this summer. You will be able to add and drop classes on SSOL from Monday, June 13th, through Friday, June 24th and from Monday, August 1st, through Friday, August 12th. There will be no priority in registration on the basis of class seniority.

By introducing this extra time for students to rearrange schedules, the hope is that organizing classroom allocation and TAs for discussion sections will be finalized earlier in the semester.

The delay in organizing sections and finding spaces for them to meet was a major problem identified in the Report of the Arts and Sciences Classroom Committee, released in January. They’re doing everything they can to prevent scheduling more classes on Friday, which would “represent a major change in institutional culture.”

The problem is, most students aren’t changing their minds over the summer. We tend to shuffle around classes once the semester has already started, and have a chance to attend the first lectures and seminars. The new summer registration will no doubt be useful for those who didn’t get the chance to finalize their schedules before their registration periods closed, but it’s unclear how much this is going to change the prevailing culture of shopping for classes in the fall.

Full e-mail after the jump

We may be on vacation, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t continue to post from the summer issue of the The Blue & White. You might also be interested in our conversation with physicist Brian Greene and a graduation-themed Postcard from Morningside—keep an eye out for the rest of the magazine in the coming days. In End of the Line we send writers to the farthest reaches of New York’s rail systems. This month staff writer Allie Curry takes us down south.

Illustration by Collin Sullivan

It’s about 20 minutes from the Ferry and an hour and 20 minutes from Morningside Heights before the leather-jacketed, half-shaven guy sitting diagonally from you and sipping from an Au Bon Pain cup, takes a sudden interest in French existentialist feminist philosophy. A bored, compulsive consumer of MTA advertising yourself, you empathize with his desperation for distraction. The blue bucket seats are mostly empty and the landscape is indistinguishable from the view from New Jersey Transit. Industrial parks, McDonalds, and trees flow by. After suggesting you read Camus’s Exile and The Kingdom (you’ve lied, saying you hadn’t), what may be Staten Island’s only hipster exits at Great Kills.

Tottenville, on Staten Island’s South Shore, is the southernmost neighborhood in New York City and State. Just over 25 miles from the Columbia Sundial, its Google News headlines are high school girls’ softball wins and wedding announcements . When you step out and “WATCH THE GAP” between the car and the platform (the remains of a dock in the Arthur Kill waterway), a muscular fishy smell—memories of a once-thriving oyster industry—confront you. Victorian townhouses line Bentley Street to the south and Main Street to the east; it’s a Sunday afternoon and more residents lounge on porches or park benches than stroll along sidewalks.

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For the past four years, the good people at Morton Williams have printed “Welcome Class of 2011″ on the bottom of their receipts. You may have graduated, Class of 2011, but we promise you’ll always be welcomed back.

From senior wisdoms and graduation speeches to inspirational bottle caps and your old man’s sage words, it seems everyone’s trying to offer their counsel. In the spirit of all this unsolicited advice, Bwog leaves you with our own humble tip before we escape for the summer. We like to think of Bwog as a fun-house mirror to the madness, capturing Columbia’s craziness. You’re all such admirably driven people, but we hope you maintain that mirror so you don’t lose track of life’s little delights. All snark aside, get out of your own head once and a while, and peer through the world’s kaleidoscope of perspectives.

And if you’re in for a good cry, recent wise grad, Rajib Mitra, posted a nostalgic Tearjerkers mixtape full of weepy anthems.

So long, folks. It’s been real.

And now for the final installment of Senior Wisdom, we present our beloved Bwog and Blue & White seniors: B&W managing editor and Bwog daily editor Mariela Quintana, Bwog Co-editor, editor-at-large, and daily editor Anish Bramhandkar, B&W Editor Emeritus and Bwog features and daily editor Jon Hill, and B&W senior editor Hannah Lepow. Thank you for all the wisdom you’ve given us. We’ll miss you dearly!

Mariela Quintana

Claims to Fame:

Mariela: In 3rd grade, I starred in “The Freaky Mar Show” – I’d wrap up in a fleece blanket and dance in middle of the sharing rug. When I was 12, I won the Camper’s Cup at summer camp. At Columbia, I was the Managing Editor of The Blue and White. And Genghis Khan. I probably peaked in the ’90s.

Anish: Bwog Daily Editor for 3 semesters, Co-Editor for 1 semester, Editor-at-Large for 1 semester, and currently Bwog Grandpa.

Jon: I discovered Santa’s terrible secret. I also wrote those absolutely riveting editor’s notes in The Blue & White.

Hannah: Editorships! The Blue & White, Tablet, Columbia Undergraduate Journal of History

Where are you going?

Mariela: I was considering going to Phoenix to teach, but I’ve had a change of heart. Instead, I’m working at a non profit that provides early childhood education to kids living in housing projects in Brooklyn.

Anish: Manhattan is a playground for 20 to 25-year-olds. I’ll be living in the city working as a software developer.

Jon: Studying/scouting/scribbling on international economics for the Council on Foreign Relations

Hannah: D.C. for a stint in a communications firm, and then back to Columbia for law school.

Anish Bramhandkar

Three things you learned at Columbia:

Mariela:
1. Don’t bury the lead. Say what you mean and say it upfront.

2. “That’s a great question” is the best compliment. The value of curiosity never depreciates.

3. Where ever you go, there you are.

Anish:
1. The biggest misconception in the liberal arts is that it’s okay to be bad at math. The biggest misconception in the sciences is that it’s okay to communciate poorly. The sciences and the liberal arts, false dichotomy as it is, need each other and one can’t even begin to appreciate the world without a foot in both worlds.

2. Clichéd, yes, but Columbia’s diversity is one of its biggest assets. That being said, any time activities are divided along cultural, ethnic, or racial lines, it can be more divisive than uniting: a lot of these lines are arbitrary. Do get in touch with your roots if you’re so inclined, but make an effort to ignore the distinctions and spend time with all sorts of people.

3. There’s a lot of pent-up cynicism and bitterness on campus, exemplified by Bwog comments and v114, “Morningside Hates,” caused the disconnect between the administration and students and between the students themselves. It’s a vicious cycle that is caused by and causes our lack of school spirit. Take some time to think of happy thoughts, then get out of your room and go do things. With people. On campus.

Jon Hill

Jon:

1. Westside is the pricey good one, Morton is the pricey bad one, D’Ag is the weird one, Appletree is the disappointing one, Met is the budget one, and Trader Joe’s beats them all.

2. I never actually got far into St. Augustine’s City of God, but after living in McBain, I found it makes an excellent weight with which to trap vermin under a cup.

3. Never underestimate people. Not their intelligence, not their benevolence, not their malevolence. Otherwise, you should get used to being caught off-guard when the jock in your seminar turns out to be piercingly brilliant or when the nice guy across the hall turns out to be the nighttime kitchen thief who is digging out helpings of your lentil soup with his fingers. (That’s right, I know it was you.)

Hannah:

1. Moderation! True productivity isn’t dragging all of your books to Butler and pulling your hair out. A late night just talking with friends is one of the best ways to spend time.

2. The value of asking for help. It seems so hard to do sometimes, but it always pays off in dividends.

3. Opposites attract. Some of my best friends here are studying completely different things than I am, and that’s so, so wonderful.

Hannah Lepow

“Back in my day…”

Mariela: There was a course called Critical Reading, Critical Writing (CRCW). I think when I took it, it was one of those optional requirements for English majors. I think there are a lot of those.

Anish: Mediocre Italian was available at Pertutti instead of Campo and DVDs came from Kim’s, not Netflix.

Jon: The Writers’ Strike meant I had to wait three extra months before I could find out why Jack wanted to go back to the island so badly. Then again, three years later, I’m still not sure.

Hannah: There were trays.

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More goofy signage shenanigans spotted at Broadway Presbyterian.

The cure for those post-Rapture blues

Black cufflink with a white horse on the front.
Very sentimental, worth very little.
If found, please contact pel2105@columbia.edu.

Next up, the SGA Prez…

Name, school: Lara Avsar, Barnard College

Claim to fame: Some people know me as the President of Barnard’s Student Government Association. More people know me as the girl that really really loves homecoming.

Where are you going? I still need to graduate so I’m taking a stats class this summer. With or without my diploma, I’m traveling around the world by myself—teaching English to a Bedouin community at a solar powered eco-lodge in Jordan, volunteering at an orphanage in Bali, and spending a month at a Buddhist monastery in Nepal with stops along the way. After the crazy adventure, I’m moving to Turkey to actually find a job. Hit me up if yall wanna visit Istanbul!

Three things you learned at Columbia:

All Columbia students can be convinced that fried possum is a delicacy in Alabama—basically nobody in this part of the country understands the South.

New York is very small and the one person that you don’t want to run into will be in the same subway car, street corner, and restaurant as you. It’s the science of this city…I’m a math major so trust me.

I also learned to think twice before telling the Columbia Spectator something embarrassing. Everything ends up on Google and, yes, all parents Google their children at least once in their lifetime. Again, just trust me.

“Back in my day…” This phrase makes me feel so old…“back in my day” I went to college with 80s babies. The youngins are taking over.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I adore my friends so I’m going to go with their answer: “well…Lara is just…unapologetically Lara.” Also, people call me ‘Mama Lara’ cause I give great pep talks.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Columbia has a war on fun, but New York City doesn’t! And in a city that is just so damn fun, Columbia students are always going to win.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Well a lot of my friends are lactose intolerant and I’m all about camaraderie…

Advice for the class of 2015: You’re never going to remember the time you spent studying, you will always remember the fun times—so arrange your schedule accordingly. Oh and never be afraid to go with your gut—you might be making up for massive mistakes later on, but at least you won’t regret anything.

Any regrets? See advice above. Oh wait, I regret that Spectator quote from freshman year…

They may have already given their speeches, but this doesn’t mean there isn’t more wisdom to go around! We asked the valedictorians and salutatorians of the Class of 2011 some questions, and they gave us very clever ways of avoiding the infamous oral sex question.

Did you do anything special to celebrate?

Margot (CC Valedictorian): Just some dinners with close friends. I also decided to take it a little easier with finals studying. I spent 25 hours in Florida last week, which sounds like it could be a good answer to this question. I was actually there to attend a research conference, but it was still very fun nonetheless.

Norases (SEAS Valedictorian): Those who know me are familiar with my mode of transportation around campus. I tend to sprint to and from classes and meetings, in order to save time that most people spend walking for more important things. After I found out, I slowed my pace to a jog and on a good day, I would actually walk. But when all of the senior festivities kicked off I was so busy I had to start running again.

Kira (GS Valedictorian): I think just what most graduates do. I spent time with family and friends and tried to savor the moment!

Elizabeth (CC Salutatorian): I received the congratulatory e-mail right before I was getting on a bus back home for Easter weekend: my celebration thus consisted of epic feasting with the family and long frolics with the poodle through the rugged wilderness of central PA.

Michael (SEAS Salutatorian): Honestly, not really. I think when I first found out, it didn’t really sink in how big of an award it really was! I think my family was more excited to find out than I was. We just had a nice little dinner, but no real big celebration.

Do people treat you differently now that you’re valedictorian?

Margot: I have been receiving more hugs than normal, and people have been incredibly sweet in congratulating me (thank you so much everyone, it means a lot!), but other than that, no.

Norases: I now have a PR Manager.

Kira: No. People have been supportive and happy for me and I appreciate that tremendously. But I’m still just the same quiet person I was before, and I don’t think I should be treated any differently.

Elizabeth: They definitely laugh at me more for stupid mistakes I make!

Michael: Not really. A lot of people say congratulations to me when I walk past them, but other than that, most of my friends still treat me exactly the same way as before. After all, I’m still the same person as before.

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