Yearly Archive: 2013



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img December 31, 201311:59 pmimg 11 Comments

classy as hellllll

Breakin’ out the bubbly

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! We asked our staff to take a minute to put down their drinks, detach the strangers from their faces, and get serious about 2014. Behold, our New Year’s Resolutions that we’re definitely going to keep for more than two weeks! Definitely!

Being a Real Person

  • I’ll get more sleep… well at least more than four hours per night
  • When I’m in Butler, I’ll procrastinate less
  • I’ll blow dry my hair instead of letting it freeze when I walk outside with it wet
  • I’ll do my reading at least once
  • I won’t fuck around (up for interpretation)
  • I’ll floss my teeth more often
  • I’ll floss more than once annually
  • I’ll complete my senior scramble list
  • I’ll stop picking my nail polish off
  • I’ll stop checking my email every 5 minutes
  • I’ll stop comparing my accomplishments to those of other people
  • I’ll read real books in my spare time instead of just reading Game of Thrones over and over again
  • I’ll keep my room clean for more than two days
  • I’ll read books other than textbooks
  • I’ll stop treating laundry like an incentive for finishing work
  • I’ll figure out what to do with my life

We get even more festive!



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img December 30, 20133:54 pmimg 10 Comments


Sooo we messed up—in going through emails, Bwog found a Senior Wisdom we’d forgotten to post along with the rest.  Huge apologies to Savannah for the delay on this, but trust us, this is a gem of a Senior Wisdom and well worth the wait.

Name, Hometown, School: Savannah Fletcher; I hail from an island north of Seattle, in the small town of Freeland, on Mutiny Bay; Columbia College

Claim to fame? I’m not claiming fame, but I’ve played on Columbia’s Volleyball team all four years, was Editor-in-Chief of Now!Here: Columbia’s Journal of Travel, and if you’ve seen a tall girl slowly crutching around campus this fallprobably was me.

Where are you going? To the balmy coast of Antarctica, but only for a few weeks, then returning to my beloved Pacific Northwest.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. That anything can be spun into a positive. Too often we surround ourselves with negativity and complaints—it’s exhausting and sadly becomes a knee-jerk response. People may feel the need to vent and express their frustrations, which is a healthy release, but why is it the social norm to bond over “disgusting” dining hall food or mutual hatred for a class? Let’s create a culture in which it’s not only acceptable, but encouraged to be uber enthusiastic about that amazing Romantic Poetry lecture (Erik Gray is wonderful) or the fact that you slept for over 8 hours last night. Now that’s something I want to hear about.
  2. Stress is not a necessary part of your college education. It does nothing to better your performance or your happiness. When life seems to be bombarding you with responsibilities and tight deadlines, relax, accept the fact that life is overwhelming at the moment, then get down to business and do the amazing things we’re all capable of. Also, make sleep and exercise a priority. Your stress level and overall quality of life will drastically improve.
  3. It takes great strength to be vulnerable. Sadly it’s taken tearing 5 ligaments in my knee to embrace this fact, but secretly carrying our burdens while keeping a strong face merely adds to our struggles. It breaks my heart when I ask someone how they’re doing and they respond with “terrible” and laugh. There’s no need to smother our true feelings in sarcasm and flippancy. It’s ok to be sad, to be struggling, and to ask for help. Whether it’s getting me Chipotle when I couldn’t walk, helping move across campus, or simply coming over to watch some Archer and keep me company, friends have always come through in the tough times. But I have yet to find a telepathic friend. You have to ask.
  4. Let your freak flag fly. Be sincerely, unapologetically you.




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img December 29, 20132:53 pmimg 38 Comments

This guy

This guy

Hillel received a statement from PrezBo two days ago stating his opposition to the American Studies Association’s boycott of Israeli academic institutions. PrezBo joins the Presidents of Harvard, Yale, Brown, Princeton, Cornell, and NYU  in opposing the boycott. The boycott was announced by the ASA on December 4th on account of what its resolution calls “the Israeli occupation of Palestine and the expansion of illegal settlements.”

PrezBo’s message:

I have made my opposition to academic boycotts of Israel emphatically clear over the years, most prominently in my 2007 letter that was signed by some 400 of my fellow college and university presidents speaking out against the British University and College Union’s boycott of Israeli scholars and universities. I stand by that statement today when considering the recent vote by the American Studies Association for just such a boycott. To be sure, it is entirely appropriate for our campuses to provide a forum for discussion and debate about the policies of any government, including our own. But the ASA’s vote runs counter to this essential academic and political freedom and, taken to its logical conclusion, would necessarily result in boycotts of fellow scholars and peer institutions from many nations around the world. I reject the ASA’s position which would compromise an essential value of universities in an increasingly global society-and we look forward to continuing to Columbia’s long history of engagement with our peers from Israel.

Update 10:19 EST:

DSpar, not to be outdone, issued the following statement today:

As President of Barnard, I stand with the Executive Committee of the Association of American Universities in my strong opposition to a boycott of Israeli academic institutions. All scholars have the right to speak out against issues or policies with which they disagree, but academic boycotts pose a threat to the intellectual exchange and open debate that sit at the very core of our educational mission. I would urge fellow scholars and their affiliated academic associations to seek alternative forms of protest that do not jeopardize academia’s crucial role as a marketplace for independent thinking and collaborative dialogue.

Our glorious leader via Wikimedia



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img December 27, 201310:00 pmimg 9 Comments


This bird has a tweeting problem

Even though we’re barely into winter break, Columbia stuff has happened on the World Wide Web. So.

About a week ago, it looked like Spectator‘s opinion page was handed the same Twitter treatment as we did earlier this month. (If you haven’t yet explored @BwogTheater, you should.) Spec got @CUSpecOpEds, which cut across political lines to ridicule all sorts of Spec opeds. Bwog stupidly forgot to archive the page, but one was, “Hazing was the best traumatic experience of my life.” Incongruously, this page used the Spectrum logo.

Klout-mad Speccies responded on Twitter with varying degrees of humor. But then @CUSpecOpEds disappeared! The account had been suspended!

So we emailed Spec. According to new Spectator editor-in-chief Abby Abrams:

Spectator reached out to Twitter regarding the @CUSpecOpEds account in the hopes that Twitter could ask the account’s owners to stop using the Spectrum logo and to make it clear that the account was a parody by putting up a disclaimer like the @BwogTheater parody account uses. The way that Twitter support works, though, is that you simply identify the account about which you’re requesting help, and then Twitter takes actions as it sees fit. So I don’t know any more specifics beyond our request. I only saw that the account was suspended when you emailed us about it.

(Remember @deantini? Whose best was, more or less: “A joke from your fun dean: two free radicals walk into 1020. Two years later, they can’t find jobs.”)

So there you have it! Reporting Twitter accounts… it makes stuff happen!

Update: A helpful commenter posted an archived version of the Twitter feed.



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img December 24, 20133:05 pmimg 19 Comments

Dig Inn Seasonal Market is ready to call Morningside Heights its (seventh) home. A tipster sent us the photo below, satiating our curiosity about what would move into Cardomat’s old spot, vacant for about a year. The chain describes itself as a healthy fast food option, and with most salads around $8 and sandwiches around $9 we might be tempted to walk a few extra steps past Milano to check it out. No word yet on when it will open, but we’ve reached out and hope it will be soon.

Update (6:55 pm): It’ll be open in February! Whee!

no room at dig inn for baby j this christmas either



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img December 20, 201311:11 pmimg 17 Comments


What an ugly color scheme

Per tradition, we bring you holiday wishes from your favorite people on campus. It’s officially winter break, so get home and indulge.  Bwog will be gone for the most part, though sporadically stopping in to say “hey” when we get bored.  Enjoy your time!

Your Student Leaders:

Daphne Chen (CCSC President): I want a clean inbox.

Sidd Bhatt (ESC President): All I want for the holidays is the beautiful beach weather back home, mommy/daddy hugs and a couple more semesters at college!

Sejal Singh (CU Dems President): I want a selfie with Joe Biden.

Conan Cassidy (CCSC’14 President): To see my mum.

Kate Christensen (CUCR): Besides tax cuts for the wealthy, I would like to spend a day in the studio with Cindy Sherman helping her style and shoot her next portrait series.

Rakhi Agrawal (SWP): The ability to become best friends with everyone at Columbia. Seriously though.

Finn Vigeland (outgoing Spec managing editor): I’d like an HBO GO account so people can stop asking me why I still haven’t seen “Game of Thrones.” I’d also like for Klout to suspend tracking your score when you’re not at school so that it doesn’t die even though you were just on vacation, OK?!

Sammy Roth (outgoing Spec EIC): I’d like to see the Dodgers win the World Series! Also, for Westside to follow me wherever I go after I graduate.

Marc Heinrich (University Senator): I’d love a Milano meal plan for the holidays.

Akshay Shah (University Senator): To taste my mom’s home cooked food after a long time, which I will! :)

People who aren’t students



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img December 20, 20136:47 pmimg 16 Comments

Hopefully most of you bid adieu to Butler for 2013, so let this be more of a reflection upon your actions of the past few weeks. Below is a definitive guide to snacking in Butler and the public shaming that goes along with it. If you ever brought halal into 210, Momma Bwog will forgive you. Eventually.

food acceptability



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img December 20, 20133:00 pmimg 6 Comments

damn son

Liora says: that’s me at the K-T Boundary, which is basically how we know how dinosaurs went extinct. BAM HASHTAG SCIENCE

Name, Hometown, School: Liora Hostyk (Lee or Munchkin also work). Hollywood, FL. Barnard College, Environmental Policy

Claim to fame? I hosted this dance party. I am the Queen of Free Things, be it tickets to TV show tapings or Broadway shows or champagne/ cheese from Barnard Bartending gigs. I was inadvertently involved with the Robert/Kristine 1020 saga. My first snowman ever got featured on Bwog and it’s been downhill ever since in terms of flirty snow art creations.

Where are you going? Right now I’m heading to South America to backpack/ unwind for a while with this lovely person. And then maybe someone will hire me to do something intellectually and creatively stimulating that also pays well so I can keep doing intellectually and creatively stimulating things forever.

Three things you learned at Columbia: By things do we mean categories of things? Yes? Ok good:

1. School-wise:
a. There’s definitely people here who are smarter and more capable than me/ you. But we’re not too bad ourselves!

b. Miracles do happen here. Like the time friend and I got a whole bunch of free sandwiches from Butler caf. Or the time I got to spend ten days in Italy and get SCHOOL CREDIT FOR IT. Or when something involving Columbia bureaucracy actually works. Or when Live@Lerner came into existence. You just gotta believe.

c. It’s so important to talk to the people in your classes! It’s easy to go to class every day and never meet anyone new because you can reach your friends through under-the-desk snap chats. But I met one of my best friends when she started talking to me in class, so there ya go. Human interaction wins.

Apparently three things meant nine things.



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img December 20, 201312:30 pmimg 0 Comments

Abrams + Roar-ee

Whoops, *this* is our last Actual Wisdom of 2013. Or is it…

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I don’t really like such existential questions! However, I will fall back on to my Jewish world view and say Tikun Olam (“Repairing the World”). Hopefully I can do that by inspiring students to do amazing things and that my research on polarization and civic culture can bring more Americans together.

Claim to fame: I am very good at darts and am always up for a game! This is really odd but we had a dart board in the P-Chem lab where I worked back in college and we played constantly. If I ever needed a break or needed to work through the problem, I’d be at the board. Over time, everything clicked.

What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience? That’s a great question! It was finally learning that the college is about propinquity and meeting amazing people of every background. These people push you to think and drive you to take risks, support you when you fall, and dust you off and help you try something new once again.

Back in my day… I did most of my research in physical archives, on special computers to run data, and used microfiche to look up old newspaper and journal articles. We can do all of that today with a few keystrokes and clicks on my laptop.

What’s the craziest student excuse/extension story you’ve heard? One of my favorites is getting a text telling me that they couldn’t turn in a midterm because they had just been arrested protesting down at Occupy Wall Street. Some students even asked me to come help bail them out!

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? That’s an easy one. I am lactose intolerant so it’s cheese!

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. Most students hate the phys ed requirement and the pool. Back in college, I would try to be outside doing something physical daily.
  2. Students seem to use Butler more of a space for napping than finding books. I’ve repeatedly had to walk around to different aisles to find books with so many students sleeping in the stacks.
  3. Columbia students do not leave Morningside Heights enough. Come on people! NYC is amazing. Come downtown and see what we have below 110th street.

What’s your advice to students/academics/the human race in general? Context is everything. Nothing is black or white and people are just trying to make it through the day. Be nice, be compassionate. This applies to our habitual and mundane regular interactions on the street, in a store, and at a restaurant.

This concept also applies to the formal study of politics. As academics we need to be more careful to keep context in mind. We can’t always assume or model behavior as well as we sometimes think we can.



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img December 20, 201310:54 amimg 3 Comments

So long, dining hall food!

So long, dining hall food!

A moment of silence for anyone who is still on campus right now. Your struggle is real.

Bwogline: In case you’ve been living under a rock (which you have, because finals) Beyoncé has sold a lot of albums in the past week.

Finals Tip: Wait until you are safely tucked away in your loud, cramped economy class seat on a Spirit Airlines plane to remember that you missed an entire short answer question on your last final. Then shrug and go to sleep because finals are over and you can’t find a single fuck to give.

Procrastinate: Because Bwog isn’t above marathoning a show that got canceled four episodes in.


Somewhere on campus: 

”I’m contemplating whether next semester I want to have more sex to get more practice or to really find someone meaningful.”

Well, congratulations on having options. Keep it down.



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img December 19, 20138:20 pmimg 5 Comments

Cramming for that last final has probably made you forget that Bwog promised to make beautiful maps from your Columbia borough poll results. Don’t worry; Bwog never forgets.

The Boroughs

  • Butler & Columbia Campus (Manhattan)
  • Below 114th on Broadway (Brooklyn)
  • Below 114th on Amsterdam (Queens)
  • Barnard Campus & West of Broadway (Staten Island)
  • EC & East of Amsterdam (Bronx)

In case you forgot what the boroughs were


such helvetica

The Maps

Columbia Borough Maps Most yuppies-

Y’all couldn’t decide where the yuppies are, but agreed that EC doesn’t have them.

More maps after the jump



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img December 19, 20135:05 pmimg 4 Comments


For our last Actual Wisdom of 2013, we bring you Jeffrey Lax, who wants you to keep your standards high (yes, even this week).

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Do footnotes count against the limit?  Graphs?  If you can’t read my handwriting, does it count?  I love what I do, hope my enthusiasm is contagious, and usually mean well.

Claim to fame: As a scholar, my work on courts and on public opinion.  In the kitchen, my duck meatballs, challah with cardamom,  kung pao chicken, and spatchcocked turkey (picture on demand).  On the dance floor, my foxtrot.  In my office, my collection of historic opera recordings, which I try to only blast on Saturdays.  In the classroom, helping students know it’s ok to be wrong on the way to being right.

What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience? Long story short – doing the right thing.  Yes, I can be brief, shut up.

Back in my day (what has changed since you’ve been at Columbia?)… Hopefully, me.  And also, hopefully, not me.

What’s the craziest student excuse/extension story you’ve heard? The ones I used for pretty much every assignment when I was an undergrad.  I’m a huge hypocrite in that I now don’t accept excuses.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? (In the spirit of discretion, you can instead answer: “Would you rather give up tenure or cheese?) I’m lactose intolerant, but both eating cheese and not having tenure cause similar gastrointestinal effects.  Hmm.  Maybe it would have been more discreet to talk about oral sex.

Three things you learned at Columbia: Most people feel like frauds, so it’s not just me.   Most people don’t know that nearly everyone feels that way.  The ones who don’t are more likely to be.

What’s your advice to students/academics/the human race in general? Keep your standards high.  Remember that things are more often gray than just black and white.  Try to remember the good parts of people.  Don’t just take classes you’ll get good grades in, and don’t only do things you are good at.  Don’t let anyone change your eccentricities, in writing or in real life.   Always use duck fat if you have it, always have it, and always use the Oxford comma.   And if you’ve taken my class, don’t forget the “muffin test.”



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img December 19, 20131:57 pmimg 3 Comments

In our continuing attempts at cheering you up through the power of music, we take a decidedly sadder turn with Bill Withers’ classic “Ain’t No Sunshine.”  Ok yes, it’s a depressing song and the title may be a little too real a description of your last two weeks, but this arrangement and Bunge Okeyo, BC’13, is too good to pass up.



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img December 19, 201312:00 pmimg 11 Comments

Name, Hometown, School: Jess Levenson, West Orange, NJ, Barnard

Claim to fame? Former Hillel Eboard member, sister of Sigma Delta Tau, Columbia cheerleader, self-proclaimed food studies major. Hosted Greek Beats this year. Won second place in last year’s Erotic Cake Competition.

Where are you going? To live with my parents in Jerz

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. you CAN go all of college without pulling an all-nighter
  2. befriending security guards and food service staff will enable you to survive college without a student ID
  3. talking about how busy and stressed you are is a guaranteed way to make everyone hate you. You can get work done without talking about.

Back in my day… Barnard students could have whoever they wanted to sleep over without magazines writing about the administration regulating students’ sex lives, more fraternities had brownstones than EC townhouses, dining halls didn’t tell you the nutritional information of their food, you didn’t need invitations to frat parties.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I went to cheer tryouts a year ago with only a smile and a cartwheel. I proved a Jewish girl with a dream can make it come true if you allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Columbia lawns, thank you for providing me with a wonderful space to hear Snoop Dog/Lion and Macklemore, dance at the Red Bull Truck, smoke hookah, check out the topless track team, eat lunch, play football at 4 am, write final papers, and of course, get a tan. When one of you has a red flag, another has a green flag. I will always treasure the memories I made with you.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? My friend told me this will be googleable so I’ll use this as an opportunity to tell you the best way to eat cheese: in your bed (shout out to Liz Lemon and her Night Cheese).

One thing to do before graduating: ask your professor for an extension. They usually say yes.

Any regrets? Let’s see: the freshman 15, only taking African Dance twice, not spending more time in my sorority house, wasting time waiting for a machine at Dodge, laughing at my friends when they ask if I want to go for a run with them, not going to happy hour more, only JUST discovering the Diana cafe pizzas, not taking advantage of Barnard Career Development, only building one snowman in the last 4 years, never taking a picture with the magnolia tree on Lehman Lawn, and of course, NSOP week. Smh.



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img December 19, 201310:48 amimg 2 Comments


Spotted. A world full of snow heroes in today’s Bwog in Bed.

We don’t give a shit if you’re already home and playing with your cat. At least one Bwogger still has 2 exams and a paper left as of this morning, so put up with us for our penultimate Bwog in Bed of 2013.

Bwogline: Rich Ellerson was fired as West Point’s football coach after going 3-9 for the season—and, notably, losing to Navy consecutively in his time as coach. We don’t think that record is that bad…

Finals tip: Dress great, never sleep, CU does it well.

Procrastinate: Learn something.

Overseen: He did it after all.

a true hero

God bless you, and god bless America


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