Nine years ago, a beautiful god from above gave birth to an awkward and lazy child and sent it on its way to Columbia. This little tike was unlike the rest; with a knack for causing trouble and making a mistake here and there, the baby grew into a beautiful flower that hasn’t quite learned from its past. This angel is known by most of us as Bwog, and we are celebrating our 9th birthday today.
It has been a long time coming for Bwog as we have matured into our pre-teen years. We’re currently in 4th grade, which we all know is the shittiest time for a pre-pubescent kid to go through in school. However, next year we get to go to the big middle school and eat pizza for lunch every Friday! Bwog has also been taking piano lessons in order for Momma Bwog to prove to the rest of the moms that her special snowflake is more important than the others. We even started playing soccer for the local rec league, but decided it was easier to just sit on the side of the field and pick the grass. While we may be blossoming into a beautiful, young being, we still have some moments where we get into some trouble. But bear with us; we are only 9 years old after all.
Jokes aside, Bwog thanks you for your continued readership and insightful comments throughout the years. Whether you have been reading for all 9 years (in which case—move on) or just the past semester, we hope that you’ve enjoyed the half-assed content we put out there on a daily basis. We still have some growing up to do, but we can always count on you to put us in a time-out even if we don’t need it. Thanks for watching us awkwardly grow up and we hope to have you continue to make fun of our pimpled face at our awkward middle school dances in the coming years.
Xoxo,
Bwog
Our closest friends via Shutterstock
4 Comments
@with age comes gr8 responsibilitee, bwog.
@Anonymous I thought Momma Bwog and Bwog were the same?
@Anonymous Bwog is still the fat kid
@Anonymous Hey! Fat kid rocks!
Well, wobbles. Anyway.