Monthly Archive: January 2016



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Reminiscent of the “Coexist” bumper sticker

Bucket List represents the intellectual privilege we enjoy as Columbia students. We do our very best to bring to your attention important guest lecturers and special events on campus. Our recommendations for this week are below, and the full list is after the jump. If you notice any events that have been left off the list, or a correction, please leave them in the comments.


  • “Religion, Secularism, and Constitutional Democracy” Monday, 6:00-8:00 PM, Buell Hall East Gallery. Jean Cohen, Courtney Bender, Mamadou Diouf, Jeremy Kessler, Rosalind Morris, Gil Eyal. (RSVP)
  • “Diplomatic (Mis)translation and Empire” 12:00-1:30 PM, 918 IAB. Ryosuke Kobayashi.
  • “Is Putin’s Popularity Real?” Tuesday, 5:00-6:30 PM, 1512 IAB. Timothy Frye.
  • “Film Festivals as Social Space: Local Queer Activism and Community in Japan” Thursday, 12:00-1:30 PM, 918 IAB. Yuka Kanno, Hikari Hori.

Find out what else is happening this week after the jump



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The Jazziest place on earth

The Jazziest place on earth

Miller Theatre hosts a variety of event showcasing a multitude of artistic genres. Bwogger Amara Banks caught a show in the Jazz Series last night, Saturday, January 30th.

After seeing what I thought was the weirdest performance I had ever witnessed at Miller Theatre, I (stupidly and in vain) drafted a mental note to never attend any more events at the popular venue. However, Creed sound’s group description was too intriguing to pass up, so I returned. As it turns out, this was not a mistake.

The group, called Sonic Creed is comprised of six extremely talented artists, most of whom hold degrees from prestigious art institutions. All of them were tied together by Stefon Harris, the marimba and vibe player. The show opened up with improv so well coordinated that one would assume their composition was rehearsed for hours prior. Each artist captured the audience with his ability to demonstrate mastery of his instrument. Whether he was beating on the drums or beating on the marimba, heads would cease from bobbing when each artist began his breathtaking solo.

I was most impressed with the musicians ability to complement each other. The amount of time they have spent playing together beautifully reflected in how well the artists vibed together. Each one slowly took the stage for his solo, and as he did the others slowly backed off and let him showcase his talent. Because of this mastered technique, the audience enjoyed piano, flute, drum, marimba, guitar, and bass solos, all with gentle compliments of the other instruments in the background.

After a round of improv and introductions, Stefon Harris announced that he and his group would play a composition he had written for his wife, titled “Let’s Take a Trip to The Sky.” Full of exciting piano and flute riffs, the song was perfectly named.

Sonic Creed threw a quick show; concluding in only 40 minutes, the audience – myself included – was definitely satisfied with the performance, but greedy for more. The next event in the Miller Jazz Series will be February 20th.

Miller we love you but you’re bringing us down via Wikimedia Commons



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Zamn, Zaddy.

Zamn, Zaddy.

In an in-depth analysis of Zayn’s new single, we’ve discovered that he may have been singing about none other than Bwog itself. See for yourself.


Climb on (the executive) board. We’ll go slow (with the pitches, so you can keep up).

So we’ll piss off the neighbors (aka everyone else in SGO, because we’re always louder than their club meetings are).

The place to lose your fears (of pitching risky articles, because we always love them)

Yeah, reckless behavior (see also: DWB)

A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw (this line just speaks for itself, if we’re being honest)

It’s a paradise and it’s a war zone (never has a more accurate description of Bwog been articulated, thank you, Zayn).


In all seriousness, come through tonight! See you at 7pm in SGO, Lerner 505.

Got enough tats via Wikimedia Commons



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A painful reminder of the tickets we do not have.

Tired of braving the cold, blustery winter nights only to end up not winning the Hamilton lottery? Get your dose of (free) culture and the arts right here on campus in MoHi! A Bwogger  has put together a list events this week that cater to the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

Monday, February 1

  • NYSAF Reading Series: FLEE by Stephanie Del, 7:00 PM, The Glicker-Milstein Blackbox Theater in the Diana Center – Alumnae Stephanie Del returns to Barnard to share a reading of her work, “FLEE,” a play about the stress and uncertainty that comes in a marriage before childbirth. (Reading is free, but RSVP to

Wednesday, February 3

  • Mid-Day Music featuring Evan Tarrh & Jack Aylor, 12:00 PM, Garden Room at the Faculty House – Visiting from the Louis Armstrong Jazz Performance Program, Tarrh (jazz piano) and Aylor (jazz bass) will be performing a showcase of pieces (TBD) as part of the Mid-Day Music recital series.
  • Lecture by Jenny Offill on Creative Writing, 7:00 PM, Dodge Hall in Room 501 – Author of the novel Dept. of Speculation (finalist for the PEN/Faulkner Award and LA Times Book Award), Offill has come from Queens University to lecture on creative writing.

Thursday, February 4

  • “The Conflabbergation”, 8:00 PM, Schapiro Theatre – A play by Becca Plunkett of the Columbia MFA Playwrights ‘17. “Mr. and Mrs. Cuthbert are desperate to conflabber their foo foo, Mariella. Mariella is desperate to remain unconflabbered. The Toddwicks have a woo woo with hair made of noodles. And the Buckleys are leading manufacturers of toosh-toppers. The Conflabbergation is a play about reputation and rituals- weird ones.” (Free with a reserved ticket)

Friday, February 5

  • “The Conflabbergation”, 8:00 PM, Schapiro Theatre

Saturday, February 6

  • “The Conflabbergation”, 2:00 PM and 8:00 PM, Schapiro Theatre



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Your girls @ Blossom du Jour praising the lord for milkshakes

Your girls @ Blossom du Jour praising the lord for milkshakes

It’s finally fucking cold out; and what better way to celebrate than with milkshakes? Bwog Dailies Sarah Dahl (vegetarian) and Emma Seely-Katz (vegan) couldn’t agree more, which is why they took on the 2Girls1Snack mission to review various Manhattan milkshakes. Sluuurp!

Champs (vegan shakes), 197 Meserole Street, Brooklyn

We were predisposed toward this place because their breakfast food is So Good (there’s a dish called the “Drunken Cowgirl” and the taste is almost as excellent as that name). Unfortunately, the milkshakes were eight bucks each, and for that kind of money, we expected Barack Obama himself to let us do milkshake body shots off of his abs. Alas, Obama was nowhere to be found and we were left feeling like Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction, bewildered at our capitalist society’s commodification of simple pleasures. An interesting note: “Vincent Vega” autocorrects to “Vincent Vegan.” Is Quentin Tarantino pushing a vegan agenda? Anyway, it’s worth a trip to BK for a vegan brunch at champs but if you’re craving milkshakes, look elsewhere.

Cost: $8.00

Rating: 2/5

Tom’s (vegetarian shakes), 112th and Broadway

Okay so you’ve been to Tom’s before (high), and you’ve probably (maybe?) indulged in a shake or two. But have you tried Tom’s shakes sober? They’re just as good, if not better; a testament to their true quality. Plus, you don’t even need to drop $5.50 on subway fare there and back. You can walk! Tom’s is open til 1:30 am Sun-Wed, and 24 hours Thurs-Sat. Sarah recommends the cookies & cream shake.

Cost: $6.50

Rating: 4/5

Wait so you’re vegan?



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In the words of Columbia alum Jenny Slate, "Hell yeah, tell me my fortune!"

In the words of Columbia alum Jenny Slate, “Hell yeah, tell me my fortune!”

Now: Didn’t get into that sorority? Try your luck with another, better sorting system – Pottermore’s sorting quiz is back! (Buzzfeed)

April: Game of Thrones comes back for its sixth season on April 24, and according to Sophie Turner, “this season is a really, really big one for Sansa. It’s probably her best season yet.” (Entertainment Weekly)

This Fall: In its competition with Spotify and iTunes, Amazon is now planning to launch a new music streaming service, coming later this year. (TIME)

2017: Do you hate when your iPhone charger breaks and gets that weird fringe at the edge? We do, too. And Apple is finally doing something about it – wireless chargers! (Bloomberg)

Who Knows: It’s official. Gilmore Girls will be returning for four brand new episodes, premiering on Netflix. (Variety)

The Crystall Ball via Wikimedia Commons



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img January 30, 20169:04 pmimg 1 Comments

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past"

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

To quote a song from the famous musical Rent, “How do you measure a year?” Well, we did away with the boring measurements such as sunsets, midnights, inches (which doesn’t even make sense), and cups of coffee. Instead, Writer Joanna Zhang simplified 10 years into the units any Columbia student would understand.

Basic calculations:

10 years = 2 leap years (366 days) + 8 regular years (365 days) = 366 X 2 + 365 X 8 = 3652 days = 3652 X 24 = 87648 hours = 87648 X 60 = 5258880 minutes

10 years is thus equivalent to…

  • Taking 43824 Art of Engineering classes if each class is 2 hours
  • Ordering 1752960 bubble teas from East Cafe if each order takes 3 minutes
  • Riding the John Jay elevator 525888 times if each ride takes 10 minutes
  • Waiting 262944 times for the Hamilton elevator if each wait is 20 minutes
  • Getting 350592 pastas at Ferris if each line + pasta takes 15 minutes
  • Living through 2435 Blizzard Jonases assuming it lasted for 1.5 days
  • Going on 730.4 Spring Breaks if each break lasts 5 days
  • Experiencing 913 rounds of sorority recruitment if each round takes 4 days
  • Going to 87648 Bwog meetings if each lasts an hour
  • Walking up the Low steps 5258880 times if it only takes a minute since we are all busy people
  • Going on 1826 Fall Breaks if each break lasts 2 days
  • Taking 47808 LitHum classes if each class is an hour and 50 minutes
  • Seeing the Columbia football team win 4 times
  • Completing 350592 LLC applications if each takes 15 minutes
  • Successfully finding 175296 seats in Butler if it takes 30 minutes each time
  • Watching Miley Cyrus’ entire career unfold, bubble, and burst before your eyes
  • Listening to Lady Gaga’s entire discography 21,900 times
  • Tearing down and rebuilding approximately 2.2 Barnard libraries
  • Reading 84,950 spec op-eds
  • Seeing 8 sororities and fraternities come and go from Columbia



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At Bwog, we specialize in shit-posting

At Bwog, we specialize in shit-posting

We the people of Bwog aren’t exactly known for our ability to carefully make decisions…after all, just look at how we spend our weekends? This paucity becomes especially apparent during our pitch meetings, when we come up with our posts for the week. In this piece, our staff recount some of their favorite article ideas that never made it to our site.

Shots In Butler

In this piece, we were going to go around Butler during study days and finals week with handles of Fireball, Vodka, and Tequila, and hand them out to people who just looked absolutely miserable. All would have been well if we had: (A) enough staff old enough to legally carry out this task without getting arrested, (B) left-over handles from our December Drinking With Bwog, (C) motivation during finals week.

Best shut-down quote from the pitch meeting: “This sounds like it’s about guns”

Campus Figures As Bowls Of Water

Here, we were tempted to mimic the Buzzfeed post about Disney Princesses reimagined as lukewarm bowls of water. Instead of Disney Princesses, though, we thought it would be funny to do with CCSC members. This would have been maybe acceptable if we were another semi-well-known campus news blog, but we’re not. Ultimately, the idea was shut down after we realized our Photoshop subscription had just expired.

Best shut-down quote from the pitch meeting: “We can’t do this. Peter Bailinson would be too flattered”

Break From Springs

Idea: A post welcoming Columbia’s student body back from Spring Break, or as it says on the academic calendar, Spring “Recess,” except it wouldn’t have made any sense, because it would’ve been written entirely about actual springs, the spring constant k, and one’s experience with different kinds of springs. Borderline danger Bwog.

Best shut-down quote from the pitch meeting: “This is way too Late Nite Bwog”

Check out more awful post ideas after the jump!



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Candid image of the commenters on Bwog's first ever post, back in the good old days of 2006

Candid image of the commenters on Bwog’s first ever post, back in the good old days of 2006

Bwog would be nothing without our commenters. You bring us up and you tear us down. You warm our cold, attention-seeking hearts and you catch our typos. You make the cruel, unforgiving life of covering the bad decisions of Columbia students worth living. So, as a tribute to our commenters over the past ten years, resident poet (and obsessive comment-reader) Betsy Ladyzhets has compiled a found poem entirely out of Bwog comments.

This is a good post.
THis is all crap and it isnt funny
No one cares
Incompetent morons

Oh Bwog, how I love your unintentional social commentary!
ban Bwog from use of the 2nd person
is bwog doing…REPORTAGE?!
kudos to bwog for incorporating the action ‘eyes nuts longingly’ into a post
get a copy editor. seriously.

young bollinger is not the dashing charmer i expected.

I sleep in the M row of the religious section, “Marxism and Liberation Theology” to “Monophysitism in the 6th Century.” I emerge at night to feed on leftovers in 209. I have not seen the sun in five years. Only the precious understands me.
But I thought Carman was a dry dorm?
What that man is my dream.
calm down

Intrigued? Disturbed? Read on



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img January 30, 20163:32 pmimg 1 Comments

busy lowDrop your hat at Columbia and you’re on national news, but wear a chicken costume and you’re just part of the crowd. Like New York City itself, what happens at Columbia is magnified a hundredfold compared to other universities and the strange becomes the normal.

For a decade, Bwog has been at the center of all this, and we’ve covered some far-out stuff. In order to pat our back and bring back the painful memories of those we’ve reported on, here’s 10 memorable Bwog articles from each of our first 10 years.

2006 – The Minutemen Liveblog

The article: READ THIS NOW: MINUTEMAN MOBBED [Blogs were less subtle in 2006]

Authors: Lydia DePillis, Sara Vogel, and Will Snider

What it was about: Bwog began in 2006 – when Bush Jr. was still president, the iphone didn’t exist, and Judith Shapiro was president of Barnard – and practically the only thing people remember from Bwog’s first year was the minutemen disruption, where protesters stormed the stage of a talk by vigilante border patrolers invited by CUCR. According to WikiCU, “The incident thus did for Bwog, and for the campus blog as a medium, what the Gulf War did for cable news and CNN—making it an unmissable source of campus news, since Columbians began to realize that it could respond to events more rapidly than Spec.”

Best Comment: “what an awful, awful, awful, awful comment. it’s kinda like saying, ‘i’m not racist, BUT [insert racist comment].'” – by “what?” who clearly had not been around many anonymous comments sections if he was surprised.

2007 – The Matt Sanchez Interview

The title: Our man in Anbar

Author: Anonymous

What it was about: Many at Columbia have forgotten the Matt Sanchez fiasco, one of Columbia’s strangest and most famous events in recent history. Sanchez, a marine who went to GS, complained about anti-military liberals on campus and appeared on Fox News to talk about this subject. However, just as he was getting the attention of the right, it was discovered he starred in gay porn films in the 90s (a good summary is at Wikipedia). After this was revealed, Sanchez began blogging about the Iraq War, and Bwog interviewed him to get his thoughts on the war. In the comments, a commenter named “Matt Sanchez” argued with liberal students.

Best comment: “Is anyone else bothered by the use of ‘existential’ to signify ‘pertaining to existence’ insead of existentialism the philosophy? I remember a Safire column on this. Just say no to this kind of conflating language.” – by the appropriately named tangent

Posts post-2008 after the jump



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It's our party and we'll drunkenly cry if we want to

It’s our party and we’ll drunkenly cry if we want to

Happy birthday to us! How else would we at Bwog celebrate but with a party and a playlist to go along with it? For this playlist, we’ve mixed in some birthday-related tunes with popular songs from the last 10 years.

  1. We Are by Justin Bieber feat. Nas – “Happy birthday,” croons Justin Bieber in the first 5 seconds (we’re pretty sure that’s the only birthday reference in the song, but we also just like it).
  2. Find Your Love by Drake – Popular in 2010 and produced by Kanye West, this tune echoes our own worries about whether or not we will be able to find love.
  3. 679 by Fetty Wap feat. Remy Boyz – One of our favorite songs of 2015, played at many a DWB.
  4. Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen – This song was big in 2012, and our love for Carly Rae has continued–we’ll be at her concert in March!
  5. Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland – This song came out in 2006, but the sentiment still rings true for most of us on staff O:-)
  6. Super Bass by Nicki Minaj – From back when Nicki had pink hair (in 2011).
  7. Birthday Song by 2 Chainz feat. Kanye West – All we want for our birthday is a big bottle of wine…
  8. We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus – “We run things, things don’t run we” – Miley, 2013
  9. Wiggle by Jason Derulo feat. Snoop Dogg – Now that a senior staff member has a pole in their room… (This song is from 2014)
  10. Best I Ever Had by Drake – For the time in the night when we all start drunkenly singing along to 2009 Drake.
  11. Birthday Cake by Rihanna – Our favorite birthday-related song.
  12. Lollipop by Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – We don’t really miss 2008–the year of autotune.
  13. PILLOWTALK by ZAYN – We’ve already decided that this is going to be our song of 2016.
  14. It’s My Party by Lesley Gore – And finally, it’s our party, and we’ll drunkenly cry if we want to.



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We were careful not to overestimate our icing skills and decided to go with "bday"

We were careful not to overestimate our icing skills and decided to go with “bday”

Twitter. “SexyBack.” High School Musical. Dick in a Box. What do all of these lovely things have in common? They turn ten this year! In other news, Bwog also turns ten this year, so our resident Baker-Bwoggers decided to celebrate by making a birthday cake. Classic. The twist? It’s (Columbia?) blue velvet!


  • Duncan Hines Blue Velvet cake mix, because you’re probably as lazy as we are, even when it’s your birthday
  • 3 large eggs (preferably not frozen, unless your fridge decides to screw you over, in which case just fuck it)
  • ⅔ cup water. Pretty straightforward.
  • 1 stick of butter, OR approximately 5 tablespoons of canola oil, OR, if you lack actual measuring tools, just pour some oil straight into the bowl
  • Duncan Hines Creamy Home-Style Frosting: Classic Vanilla flavor, because we love our main man Duncan, and it’s only 140 Calories!! (per 2 tbsp)
  • Blue Writing Gel (that we’re not sure is actually safe to consume… maybe it’s edible, but maybe not).
Deliciously moist

Deliciously moist


  1. Grease pan with oil or butter.
  2. Blend blue velvet cake mix, water, butter, and eggs in a large bowl, and by blend, we mean stir gently with a fork.
  3. Pour batter and spread evenly into a pan, but be careful not to pat it down too much into the pan, because then it will stick to the bottom of the pan and your cake won’t come out of the pan and everyone will be disappointed in you.
  4. Bake for approximately 30 minutes at 325℉.
  5. Remove from oven, hopefully with some form of oven mitts. If not, enjoy burning your hands in addition to your esophagus (see below).
  6. Let cool before frosting. We cannot stress this enough. We know it’s your birthday. We know you’re impatient. We know you’re no longer reading this and have already frosted the cake and/or eaten half the frosting tub. Keep on keepin’ on.
  7. Just eat your cake already.
Not exactly Columbia blue...

Not exactly Columbia blue…

Bonus: Ten(!!) baking tips from Bwog

  1. Buy boxed mixes. But only the quality boxed mixes (s/o Duncan Hines)
  2. Remember that metal conducts heat so you don’t burn the fuck out of your hand.
  3. Don’t eat hot, uncooked batter. Unless burning your esophagus is, like, a kink or something… in which case, you do you.
  4. Consistency is key. No one likes a chunky cake, unless there are actual chocolate chunks. (Yet another unrealistic expectation for cakes.)
  5. Don’t be alarmed by the color of the cake. It’s supposed to look unnatural. It’s supposed to resemble a Smurf.
  6. Wash the remnants of your baking dishes before the batter gets crusty. Everyone knows moist is always better than crusty.
  7. Consume twice as much frosting as the amount that actually ends up on the cake.
  8. Don’t eat that icing though. That shit does not taste good.
  9. Stay hydrated. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. That frosting makes you thirsty.
  10. Watch The Great British Bake Off!



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img January 30, 20169:33 amimg 0 Comments

When you're feeling yourself...

When you’re feeling yourself…

This Friday NASA released a “selfie” taken by the Curiosity Mars rover, which has been on Mars for almost four years now. (TIME)

Taking advantage of the hype recently generated by the “The X-Files” reboot, the CIA released a series of declassified documents detailing investigations into UFOs and possible alien life. (CNN)

The 30th anniversary of the Challenger explosion was this past Thursday, and The New York Times paid tribute. (NY Times)

Scientists have observed that the Smith Cloud, which was catapulted out of the Milky Way millions of years ago, is plummeting back to our galaxy. The collision of the cloud with the galactic disk of the Milky Way will produce more than two million new stars. (Daily Mail)

The other type of galaxy just got a new upgrade: Samsung has released its S7. (The Verge)

Mars Rover via Wikimedia Commons



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img January 30, 201612:01 amimg 2 Comments

birthday post
Late Night Bwog is a beautiful and precious concept. It’s a time when our readers ask deeply contemplative questions such as, “Who the fuck is running Bwog these days?” and our editors ask, “Who scheduled a review of rubber bands for 2 am?”

Both of those quotes appropriately exemplify our organization. Bwog is a place where the staff probably has too much freedom, the commenters would be ashamed if anyone discovered their identities, and our writers appreciate the commenters in the way that only true masochists can.

Now we’re 10 years old—and what a strange 10-year-old we are. In some ways we act our age—we’re wild, disruptive, and have a very bizarre collective imagination—yet in other ways we are a whole other beast. Picture a drunk 10-year-old who goes to Columbia and you’re pretty much there.

In true drunk 10-year-old fashion, we propose a toast on this day of our birth. We raise our glasses to our founder, Taylor Walsh, and the past Bwoggers who sustained this strange creature for a decade; to the Columbia Daily Spectator for its friendship through the years; to the famed administrators of Columbia and Barnard, including Prezbo, Dspar, Deantini, AHinks, Dean Awn, and Dean Boyce, for providing us endless amounts of content; and finally, to the current staff who make every day stranger than the last in the best possible way. Cheers!




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img January 29, 20166:04 pmimg 5 Comments

Who doesn't want to be in the band?

Who doesn’t want to be in the band?

CUMB–do you pronounce the B or not? The world may never know, but Bwog sent Dailier Finn Klauber to check out CUMB’s recruitment process last night. Last night’s events conveniently occurred at the same time as sorority rush. Gotta choose one or the other, we guess. Here’s the run-down.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t expecting the Band to run punctually. I was told to meet CUMB at the Sundial at 9 PM but it didn’t really seem like anybody had arrived yet. A decent number of people were clustered around the Sundial foundation, talking within an expanding circle of Bandies. A white tuba blared the Columbia fight song from the top of the Sundial while Bandies introduced themselves to the growing number of wide-eyed, clearly confused students who decided to join CUMB. “What’s your name? What year and school are you? Where are you from?”—the template conversations reminded me of a “soft” fraternity rush event. At 9:15 PM, it finally seemed like the majority of prospective Bandies had arrived at College Walk, as the nominal leaders of this get-together—who soon introduced themselves as the Drum Major and Personnel Manager—led us West on College Walk and North towards Teachers College.

But does the Personnel Manager actually do anything?

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