Different Things Beta Theta Pi Could Put On Their Entrance Instead Of Dante
Written by Youngweon Lee
Dear reader, you might think that this is just any old dumb LNB, but it’s not. It’s a very special LNB. It’s not because Youngweon is writing this instead of a CC paper due tomorrow; it’s because it’s her 100th Bwog post.
Technically, this isn’t my 100th post. That happened a few weeks ago, probably, because there are about a dozen or so posts out there under Bwog Staff that I wrote anonymously. This isn’t even my 100th public post, because there are two posts that are under my name but unpublished. So this is my (approximately) 113th public post and 99th public post under my name, but if you log into the Bwog WordPress and look under my author tag, there are 99 posts before this one including unpublished drafts, and this is the 100th one, so we’ll call this my 100th post.
Now, dear reader, you might be wondering why the hell I chose to write about Beta Theta Pi for my 100th post. The reason is twofold: first, it’s just funny. Frats are fun to pick on. Second, it’s a sort-of tribute to Andrew Finn Klauber a.k.a. Finn or Andrew or Finneas or what-have-you, our former Internal Editor and my Bwog Big as well as the person I go to for all my Classics Department-related questions. I joined Bwog four semesters ago as a new freshman because he wrote some articles roasting the living hell out of me for some things I said in a GroupMe as a prospie. Enraged, when I came to campus, I came to Bwog’s first open meeting in September 2016, and the rest is history. Therefore, I will make my 100th post an article picking on his fraternity.
A List Of Things Beta Theta Pi Could Put On Their Door Instead Of Their Current Quote (“Lasciate ogne speranza voi ch’intrate”):
- Lasciate ogne scarpa voi ch’intrate
- Who do you know here?
- Got Milk?
- “Beta’s already on probation.” “They are? Well, as of this moment, they are on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!”
- “is this journalism“
- Hey man, rush Beta.
- “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!”
- “does anyone at bwog have a personality??“
- Cynthia for New York
- lyre lyre lyre
- Ceci n’est pas un blackout
- The bar is closed.
- The backyard is closed.
- The roof is closed.
- Great day for the markets
- “Glad bwog has finally stopped pretending to be journalists and has started manufafturing crap directly from their own digestive systems. Way to source local guys!!!“
- Clery crime alert
- “I like to make money and get turnt” -Finn Klauber
- Zara escape attempts: 16
- “Some spiders change colors to blend into their environment. It’s a defense mechanism.”
- “I need to leave the [Bwog] meeting early because Beta is having elections and I need to give a speech.” -Finn Klauber
- “You know, I’m actually something of a frat star myself.”
- Hey man, rush Bwog.
Bwog via Youngweon Lee, Finneas via Anonymous
Tags: can you believe rachel assigned finn to be my big knowing he's the one who ruined my reputation? smh, creds to nino for some of these quotes, i only write for bwog for the attention, i went to bwog's first open meeting to fight and 2 years later im on the fucking eboard um