Author Archive

May

3

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the central park aesthetic

Bwogline: The UK and EU are arguing over a Brexit negotiation. Brexit Secretary David Davis says that the UK won’t pay a 100 billion euro fee as the “divorce bill.” (BBC)

Study tip: Get started on things early so you won’t be stressed near the deadline. This might seem like something really obvious to say, but go start that essay you’ve been procrastinating right now!

Music: Starman by David Bowie is a classic. Listen to it on repeat.

Procrastination: Go for a walk in the park! It’s a beautiful day outside. Maybe even go all the way to Central Park instead of Morningside or Riverside.

Overheard: (Very nonchalantly) “Have I told you about the time that [suitemate] tried to kill me?”

Apr

27

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I spent way too much time making this

Rafael Ortiz, memer supreme, was recently elected as the Pre-Professional Representative of CCSC. We don’t know about you, but Daily Editor Youngweon Lee thinks this is…fishy. Here is her conspiracy theory.

Around the end of last semester, columbia buy sell memes was created by a group of edgy meme-y students. As it quickly became everyone’s new favorite method of procrastination, some memers started to stand out more than others, mostly for their prolific posts, sometimes funny, sometimes not. First it was Rasmi, then it was Rafael Ortiz. I don’t know why Rasmi just kinda stopped posting; he was funny. My personal opinion on Rafael’s memes is that they’re hit or miss, and mostly shitposts, but then again, that’s pretty much an exact description of my Bwog articles, so I can’t judge.

So everyone (including me) thought Rafael didn’t have a life outside of memes, but then he friended everyone in this school on Facebook and announced his CCSC campaign. I mean, like, what? Where did that come from? And he ran for pre-professional representative, of all things. Who even runs for that? Rafael Ortiz, that’s who. And he won.

What’s the conspiracy?

Apr

26

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Happening in the world: A San Francisco federal judge, William H. Orrick of United States District Court, temporarily blocked Trump’s measures to withhold money from sanctuary cities, using his own words against him. This is the third such judicial measure against Trump’s immigration orders in his first 100 days on the job. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: Mayor Bill de Blasio has committed $100 million to filling a gap in the Manhattan Waterfront Greenway between 41st and 61st Streets by the East River, where only a highway runs by. Construction will begin in 2019 and is expected to take 3 years. $5 million more will be spent filling smaller gaps in East Harlem and Inwood. (NYT)

Happening on campus: Ken Ofori-Atta, the Finance Minister of Ghana, will be speaking today at 8pm at the Columbia Law School (Room 104). RSVP required.

Overheard: (at the ESC meeting) “Just put Beta mixer in the SEAS the Day description so people will come.”

Old celeb tweet: 

I really wanna know the context for this

Apr

19

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Happening in the world: The British prime minister, Theresa May, is calling for a snap election (an early election of the prime minister that can be held if the members of the parliament lose faith in the government or if 2/3 of the members agree). In the (likely) case that the conservatives win, the legitimacy of Theresa May will be strengthened and she will be able to lead a smoother transition of Britain out of the EU. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: Various New York politicians, including Mayor Bill de Blasio, New York’s attorney general Eric T. Schneiderman, Governor Andrew M. Cuomo, and Senator Kirsten E. Gillibrand, have released their tax returns. Donald Trump, on the other hand, has not. (NYT)

Happening on campus: Voting for student councils starts today! Go vote!

Overheard: “I’d be so good at marrying rich. Every woman in my family except for my aunt has done it.”

Old celeb tweet: 

My spirit animal

Apr

13

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Professor Adina Ciugureanu

Yesterday, Professor Adina Ciugureanu from Ovidius University in Constanta, Romania, gave a talk on the legacy of the Roman poet Ovid in the Black Sea. Bwog’s resident Classics majors, Youngweon and Finn, attended the talk and learned some things about Ovid.

The majority of the scholarship on Ovid, as Professor Gareth Williams commented, is centered around Western Europe and America, and his time in Rome; his time in exile in the Greek city of Tomis, present-day Constanta, Romania, doesn’t get as much attention. In this talk, Professor Ciugureanu gave an interesting perspective on Ovid in talking about his influence on the region that he was exiled to, as well as the influence that his exile in itself had on literature and philosophy.

Professor Ciugureanu started the lecture with a brief introduction on Ovid and his life; Ovid, known as Ovidius to Romans, was a poet who lived under the reign of Augustus. He was born to a well-to-do Roman family, and got an elite education in Rome. He traveled to Greece and Sicily as part of his education, as was customary during the time for the children of the Roman elite, and took a job in the public sector afterwards. However, to the disappointment of his father, he discovered that he didn’t like that very much, and instead dedicated his life to writing poetry. His first serious work was the Amores, which is a series of erotic poems about himself and Corina, his imaginary love interest. He then went on to write Epistolae Heroidium (or Heroides, as students of LitHum may know it as), a series of imaginary letters from mythological heroines to their lovers, Medicamina Faciei (“The Art of Beauty” – a book about cosmetics), Ars Amatoria (“The Art of Love” – sex advice for Roman lovers), and the Metamorphoses, an extensive collection of mythological stories all of which which involve a kind of metamorphosis, beginning with the creation of the world and ending with the chaos after Caesar’s death and the Augustan peace that followed.

What happened next in Ovid’s life?

Apr

12

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Happening in the world: Apparently, Ivanka Trump played a big role in convincing her father to authorize a missile strike in Syria against an Assad-regime airbase after a horrendous chemical gas attack, according to an interview with The Daily Telegraph and Eric Trump. (CNN)

Happening in NYC: Yellow Magnolia Café opens at Brooklyn Botanic Garden! This restaurant’s menu is focused on light, vegetable-centered plates. Get off campus this weekend and eat some fresh veggies! (NYT)

Happening on campus: Are you an art history major? The Barnard SGA is hosting an event about what you can do with a degree in art history today 6:30pm-7:30pm in 223 Milbank Hall.

Overheard: “I wanna get married in Low.” “That’s weird, what if your husband went to Cornell?” “What an awful hypothetical.”

An old celeb tweet: 

tbh, same.

Apr

6

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Carman 409B. This is a dingle, but it has nothing to do with this article. It’s just a random dingle.

Stressed about your housing for next year? Bwogger Youngweon Lee has a solution for the most screwed among you.

With most juniors and seniors having picked their housing for next year by now, as we liveblogged the whole process, we were able to witness a diverse array of emotions. Some people just wanted us to know that they’re very happy, a group of seniors were excited to go back to McBain for some godforsaken reason, and we saw a lot of happy groups who are going to live in EC, Hogan, etc. for next year. However, if the group before you took the last Watt studio double or the last EC townhouse, and you had go to your last choice dorm that has rats in it, what do you do?

Well, as usual, Bwog has the answer for you. Here is a step-by-step process on what to do if you were royally screwed over by housing. (This might especially be useful for sophomores who are about to be shafted in McBain.)

How to get the best housing.

Apr

5

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Happening in the world: There was a deadly chemical attack in a northern rebel-held zone of Syria yesterday. Dozens of people, including children, died from this attack. The substance seems to have had a nerve agent or other banned chemicals. Western leaders, including Trump, are blaming President Bashar al-Assad for the attack. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: After Monday’s derailment at Penn Station damaged equipment, Amtrak said that there will be modified services and delays for the foreseeable future. Other trains going in and out of New York, including LIRR and NJ Transit, will also be affected. (ABC – click for details on the modified train schedules)

Happening on campus: Dr. Salim Abdool Karim will be leading a discussion about HIV/AIDS, hosted by the Journal of Global Health today in Fayerweather 313, from 7:30pm to 8:30pm.

Overheard: “I love Pride and Prejudice so much, [my suite] named our bong Mr. Darcy.”

An old celeb tweet:

Don’t do drugs, kids

Apr

3

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This could be you.

Location: 508 W 114th St. (between Broadway and Amsterdam, right next to Amsterdam)

  • Nearby dorms: John Jay, Carman, Frat Row
  • Stores and restaurants: Hamilton Deli, Strokos, Artopolis, 1020, Hungarian

Cost: standardized to $9,292/year

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: One or two in each suite, with a counter and sink, toilet, and shower.
  • AC/Heating: There is heating, but no AC.
  • Kitchen: One in each suite, but it’s not very big.
  • Lounge: There is a basement lounge and a study room.
  • Laundry: In the basement.
  • Computers/Printers: There is a printer in the lobby.
  • Fire escapes: There are fire escapes, but you aren’t allowed to go on them, and this rule seems to be enforced.
  • Bike Storage: There is bike storage in the basement.
  • Gym: There is work out equipment in the basement.
  • Intra-Transportation: There are treacherously spiraling stairs and one elevator.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: No carpet. The rooms have hardwood floors and there are tiles and linoleum in the rest of the building.
  • Wifi: The usual CUIT wifi.
  • Bonus: The proximity to JJ’s (and the rest of campus) is a plus.

Enough space for a ru?

Apr

3

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Hella stairs

Looking for a nice, quiet living space on Riverside Drive that isn’t St. A’s? Look no further than Woodbridge. 

Location: 431 Riverside Dr.

  • Nearby dorms: St. A’s, Schapiro, the 600s
  • Stores and restaurants: M2M, Morton William’s, Vine, a halal cart

Cost: standardized to $9,292/year

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: One in each suite/apartment/whatever you wanna call it, with a sink, toilet, and a bathtub.
  • AC/Heating: There is heating, but no AC.
  • Kitchen: One in each suite.
  • Lounge: There isn’t a lounge that serves as a common space for the building, but each suite has a common area that may be turned into a second bedroom of sorts.
  • Laundry: In the basement.
  • Computers/Printers: There is a printer in the lobby.
  • Fire escapes: None.
  • Bike Storage: None.
  • Gym: There is a fitness room on the first floor.
  • Intra-Transportation: There are stairs, and one very slow elevator.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: The kitchens have linoleum floors, and the rest of the suite has that ugly dorm carpet. Some renovated suites have hardwood floors.
  • Wifi: The usual CUIT wifi.
  • Bonus: It’s right next to Riverside Park, which means lots of puppers around.

Check out the rest of Woodbridge.

Apr

1

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This is a periodic table of Columbia University, demonstrating all the elements that make up the Columbia University that we know and love, ranging from dorms to alumni to local businesses.

Click here if you hate Youngweon’s handwriting and want to read a text-version of this list

Mar

30

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As we prepare to say goodbye to the dorms that so lovingly housed us in 2015-16, emotions flare up. Bwogger Youngweon Lee tells her emotions in this Ode to Carman Hall.

Tell me, Columbia Housing, is there a dorm on campus
Quite as disgusting as Carman Hall?
What other dorm has bathroom air vents smelling of cannabis
and do such ugly cinder blocks make up any other wall?

Tell me, in what other Columbia dorm can I hear
sex noises from all directions, at all hours?
What other dorm has such smelly elevators
and disgusting stairwells as ours?

No other dorm is nearer to Ferris Booth
or to Beta house’s colorful gate of Hell;
if, as a freshman, you chose Carman as your abode
I can tell you confidently that you have chosen well.

Floor activities include…

Mar

29

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Who will lead GSSC next? The suspense is killing us

The list of GSSC candidates are here! Who will bring puppies and lit galas to GS next year? Who will fight ESC to gain access to Columbia undergrad dorms? Here are the people that you can vote for to make things happen in GSSC:

Student Body President

  • Dennis Zhao
  • Samantha Demezieux

Vice President of Policy

  • Raisa Flor
  • Yona Kornsgold

Vice President of Finance

  • Eren Villa
  • Daniel Gromis
  • Tanvir Hossain
  • Chris Jackson
  • Vance Hu

Vice President of Communications

  • Nicole Rodgers
  • Piragathesh Subramanian
  • Vladyslav Bobrovnyk

Senior Class President

  • Roya Hegdahl
  • Jonathan Harper

Veteran Students Representative

  • Joseph Jackson
  • Louie Terrazas
  • Jenna Znak

JTS Students Representative

  • Hannah Weiss
  • Kayla Pollak

International Students Representative

  • Georgi Beradze
  • Sophie Neilson

Voting will begin on Monday and continue through Wednesday at 5pm.

Mar

29

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Happening in the world: Lt. Gen. Stephen J. Townsend, the senior U.S. commander in Iraq, said that a US airstrike probably caused the collapse of a building in Mosul that killed a number of civilians. He indicated that an investigation will also examine if the attack set off more explosives set by militants in or near the building. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: A basketball has apparently been sitting on the uptown 1 train track at the 18th St. Station for about three weeks. Thanks to its convenient location away from the entranceway, it avoided getting run over some 4,300 times. This incident is raising bigger questions of the ever-deteriorating MTA service, and about debris on the tracks that cause delays. (NYT)

Happening on campus: Columbia China Law and Business Association and Multicultural Business Association are hosting a panel about recruiting for international students. Two upperclassmen and an alumnus in different fields will speak about their experiences as international students navigating the job recruitment process. The panel will be in Lerner 569 from 7:30pm to 8:30pm today.

Overheard: 90 seconds of intense, vicious barking, snarling, and whining at around 9 pm near Broadway and 116th

An old celeb tweet:

How’s that health care bill?

Mar

22

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“Abandon every hope, who enter here.”

If the fraternities of Columbia were in Dante’s Inferno, what circles of Hell would they be in? Bwog has all the answers.

  • Beta Theta Pi: Honestly, Beta represents all of Hell: the quote above the door of the Beta house itself is the inscription over the gates of hell. But realistically, they’re in the Eighth Circle of Hell, in the Fifth Pouch, with sticky tar. This pouch is the literary representation of the basement of Beta house. If you step foot on a particularly bad spot on their floor, you will need to say goodbye to your shoe; it’s gone forever, destined to decorate the basement of the Beta house for eternity as another reminder that they really need to clean that damn floor.
  • Delta Sigma Phi: In order to be accepted into DSig, one needs to be a bourgeoise international prep school kid raised in the elegant cesspools of Oxford and Cambridge so that he could one day go play golf with Donald Trump Jr., Scrooge McDuck, and Judge Whitey from Caddyshack. They belong in the Fourth Circle of Hell for the Avaricious. They’re also bitter because they weren’t quite bougie enough to get into St. A’s, so they could also be in the Fifth Circle of Hell for the Sullen.
  • Sigma Phi Epsilon: Every fraternity is guilty of lust to some extent, but Sig Ep especially so. If you have been to any Sig Ep party ever, you would know without a doubt that they belong in the Second Circle of Hell for the Lustful: there are always around 500 girls and 8 Sig Ep guys, and guys who aren’t in the fraternity are rarely allowed into their parties.
  • Sigma Nu: Sig Nu doesn’t brand itself as an athlete frat, even though the speedos they don at their parties say otherwise, but the consistent smell of rotten chlorine wafting from the basement of their house betrays the truth: Sig Nu is the swimmers’ frat. Hence, they belong in the frozen lake Cocytus at the very bottom of Hell.
  • Alpha Epsilon Pi: Even though AEPi might claim that they are “housed” in a suite in EC, we all know that doesn’t really count as a house. Are they really a frat? Who knows. They’re in the Limbo, in the First Circle of Hell.
  • Phi Gamma Delta: Columbia has rewarded Phi Gamma Delta’s (commonly known as Fiji, and known for highly qualified alums such as Donald Trump Jr., Mike “Fragile Masculinity” Pence, and Neil Gorsuch) degeneracy by evicting them from their brownstone. Addicted to nicotine in the form of the Juul e-cig, and commonly seen daydrinking on a Wednesday, Fiji brothers belong with the epicureans in the Sixth Circle of Hell.
  • Sigma Chi, Kappa Delta Rho: Known mostly as the football frat and the wrestling frat respectively, these fraternities are composed mainly of members who partake in aforementioned sports. Both sports involve a lot of violent bodily contact, so they’re in the Fifth Circle of Hell for the Wrathful, or perhaps the First Ring of the Seventh Circle of Hell, for violence against neighbors.
  • Lambda Phi Epsilon: Lambda is the frat to rush if you’re a frat bro, but like, Asian. Lambda parties are the frat parties that white people feel out of place at, which is something of a paradox. In the 14th century, when Inferno was written, Christianity wasn’t really a thing in Asia, so Lambda belongs with the virtuous pagans in the First Circle of Hell, the Limbo. They have something of a reputation for hazing, however, so they could also belong with Sig Chi and KDR in the Seventh Circle of Hell for violence against neighbors.
  • Zeta Beta Tau: They say they’re a fraternity, but there doesn’t seem to be much evidence for this. They don’t have a house, and the only evidence of their existence is the occasional ZBT jacket you see around. They’re with AEPi in the Limbo.
  • Pi Kappa Alpha: ???? Who??

Welcome to Hell via Bwog Staff

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