Author Archive

Sep

20

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Most bagels, when they turn twenty years old, grow stale and moldy, but not this one. Our own bagel is twenty years old and beautiful and thriving. She is a beautiful bagel and a perfect bagel in chief. Here is photographic evidence of her thriving. I found every single picture on my phone and computer that I could in my exhausted state. This is my favorite bagel and also my favorite titty. By my, I mean Bwog’s. Please wish her a happy birthday by texting her, messaging her, commenting, emailing tips@bwog.com, amara@bwog.com, editor@bwog.com, etc. Happy birthday, Amara! We Love You!!!

 

Sep

14

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Do you want to be Instagram famous? I know I do

If you’re anything like me, your life dream is to be Instagram famous. I’m not actually Instagram famous, but I spend enough time on Instagram to know how to Instagram successfully. Here is a list of things you have to have on your Instagram to be successful at Instagram at Columbia.

  • Aesthetic pictures of Low and Butler, bonus points if it’s at sunset or sunrise
  • A picture of you and/or your friends sitting on a windowsill, bonus points if the view behind you is of the New York skyline
  • Actual pictures of the New York skyline
  • Views from your dorm room window (if you aren’t shafted somewhere)
  • Pictures from a frat party that everyone knows turned messy as hell, but don’t actually post messy pictures; post the ones in which you look good and like you’re having fun
  • If you are in a sorority, pictures with balloons in the shape of your letters and hand signs in the shape of your letters and pictures with a cardboard sign of your letters, etc.
  • A picture with you and that igloo outside of Butler in the winter
  • A picture of Ref Room, whether that be a picture of you in Ref or a picture of the Ref ceiling
  • Pictures of you and all your Columbia friends on Low steps having a great time being Columbia students

More tips after the jump

Sep

6

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img September 06, 201711:24 amimg 2 Comments

I’m sorry I’m really bad at making starter packs

We might all think we’re special and unique, but the fact of the matter is that we Columbia students are all sort of similar. If you feel attacked by this post, or don’t, let us know why in the comments below.

A typical Columbia student on any given day is wearing Stan Smiths (dirty) or Timbs (clean). The jeans (mom or dad, either variety) are cuffed and paired with an obscure vintage t-shirt or a crop top. A thrifted neon (pink or yellow) windbreaker hangs over the shoulders, laden with the weight of the world and the sorrows of humankind. A rolled cigarette (filter optional) is in one hand, and a volume of Kerouac or Plato in the other.

Contrary to this alternative look, this student is majoring in something mainstream that Wall Street likes: financial economics, political science, or economics. However, as a high school senior, eager to fulfill a dream of Ivy League elitism in any way possible, they applied as a South Asian Comparative Literature major with a concentration in Slavic Studies. They will tell you they love Tolstoy, but Sparknoted Crime and Punishment in Lit Hum. Perhaps they consider themselves above Dostoevsky’s brand of Russian angst. It’s a well-known fact that red meat increases the chances of getting cancer, so this student is vegan, but you can catch them on a Saturday night downing shots of cheap tequila infused with ecstasy or cocaine (disclaimer: Bwog does not condone the use of illegal drugs or underage drinking).

Despite a Twitter full of anti-capitalist memes and communist article retweets, there is a Morgan Stanley or Goldman Sachs entrance test prep book hidden away in this student’s bookshelf in Wien, Ruggles, or EC. Or alternatively, they live in Greenborough but never recycle or compost back home. They will tell you that the trolley lever definitely should be pulled, but will demonstrate immense outrage at the immorality of Omelas.

Columbia Student starter pack via Youngweon Lee

Sep

4

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img September 04, 20174:47 pmimg 4 Comments

Everyone, you need to stop what you’re doing right now and look at this.

Yes. That is right. Carman has been renovated. WE REPEAT. CARMAN HAS BEEN RENOVATED. It’s only the top three floors so far, but no doubt the lower floors will follow suit.

This is a disaster. Carman isn’t Carman if Carman is nice. The Carman identity is that it’s gross and covered in vomit with used condoms lying around in the stairwells. Renovated Carman isn’t true Carman. This isn’t fair. Every freshman should have the opportunity to experience Carman in its full disgusting glory. Columbia can’t take that quintessential Carman experience away from them. Another evil ploy by the evil administration. Also why the fuck are there 10-person suites? Whose idea was that? Thanks, Obama (CC ’83).

Carman Nonsense via Youngweon Lee

Aug

30

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img August 30, 20172:53 pmimg 4 Comments

Columbia has a lot of excellent sexual health resources if you know where to look. Just in case you don’t, we compiled a list of sexual health resources at Columbia that you can take advantage of, mostly for free, especially if you have the Columbia insurance plan. This list includes information about safer sex supplies, LGBTQ+ health, contraception, sexual assault, and more. This is not a 100% comprehensive list of resources offered at Columbia, and deals mostly with sexual health in particular. 

  • Columbia provides a variety of safer sex supplies, including condoms, internal condoms, dental dams, etc. You can find them at Medical Services (4th floor of John Jay), Sexual Violence Response (7th floor of Lerner), Alice! Health Promotion (3rd floor of John Jay), and Disability Services (1st floor of Wien). Here is also a map. Many RAs keep a stock of condoms outside of their doors as well. Pro tip: you can find condoms in the entrance to the 3rd floor of John Jay, but they are usually the cheaper, lower-quality generic brand condoms. If you walk into the waiting area, there are cabinets with Durex condoms.
  • There are also free tampons and pads in John Jay, on the 3rd and 4th floors. They are stocked in the waiting room cabinet on the 3rd floor, along with safer sex supplies, or you can ask for some at the front desk on the 4th floor. Many bathrooms around campus also have free tampons and pads, but they are not always well-stocked.
  • You can get free HIV and syphilis testing through the Gay Health Advocacy Project. It is completely confidential and available to the entire Columbia community, including all students and their partners, staff, and faculty. You can access this at Alice! Health Promotion on the 3rd floor of John Jay. It’s also a great resource for information about HIV and any other STDs in general, and GHAP arranges treatment and support for HIV-infected students.

Plan B, sexual violence, and a lot more after the jump

May

3

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img May 03, 20179:00 amimg 0 Comments

the central park aesthetic

Bwogline: The UK and EU are arguing over a Brexit negotiation. Brexit Secretary David Davis says that the UK won’t pay a 100 billion euro fee as the “divorce bill.” (BBC)

Study tip: Get started on things early so you won’t be stressed near the deadline. This might seem like something really obvious to say, but go start that essay you’ve been procrastinating right now!

Music: Starman by David Bowie is a classic. Listen to it on repeat.

Procrastination: Go for a walk in the park! It’s a beautiful day outside. Maybe even go all the way to Central Park instead of Morningside or Riverside.

Overheard: (Very nonchalantly) “Have I told you about the time that [suitemate] tried to kill me?”

Apr

27

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img April 27, 20174:30 pmimg 5 Comments

I spent way too much time making this

Rafael Ortiz, memer supreme, was recently elected as the Pre-Professional Representative of CCSC. We don’t know about you, but Daily Editor Youngweon Lee thinks this is…fishy. Here is her conspiracy theory.

Around the end of last semester, columbia buy sell memes was created by a group of edgy meme-y students. As it quickly became everyone’s new favorite method of procrastination, some memers started to stand out more than others, mostly for their prolific posts, sometimes funny, sometimes not. First it was Rasmi, then it was Rafael Ortiz. I don’t know why Rasmi just kinda stopped posting; he was funny. My personal opinion on Rafael’s memes is that they’re hit or miss, and mostly shitposts, but then again, that’s pretty much an exact description of my Bwog articles, so I can’t judge.

So everyone (including me) thought Rafael didn’t have a life outside of memes, but then he friended everyone in this school on Facebook and announced his CCSC campaign. I mean, like, what? Where did that come from? And he ran for pre-professional representative, of all things. Who even runs for that? Rafael Ortiz, that’s who. And he won.

What’s the conspiracy?

Apr

26

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Happening in the world: A San Francisco federal judge, William H. Orrick of United States District Court, temporarily blocked Trump’s measures to withhold money from sanctuary cities, using his own words against him. This is the third such judicial measure against Trump’s immigration orders in his first 100 days on the job. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: Mayor Bill de Blasio has committed $100 million to filling a gap in the Manhattan Waterfront Greenway between 41st and 61st Streets by the East River, where only a highway runs by. Construction will begin in 2019 and is expected to take 3 years. $5 million more will be spent filling smaller gaps in East Harlem and Inwood. (NYT)

Happening on campus: Ken Ofori-Atta, the Finance Minister of Ghana, will be speaking today at 8pm at the Columbia Law School (Room 104). RSVP required.

Overheard: (at the ESC meeting) “Just put Beta mixer in the SEAS the Day description so people will come.”

Old celeb tweet: 

I really wanna know the context for this

Apr

19

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Happening in the world: The British prime minister, Theresa May, is calling for a snap election (an early election of the prime minister that can be held if the members of the parliament lose faith in the government or if 2/3 of the members agree). In the (likely) case that the conservatives win, the legitimacy of Theresa May will be strengthened and she will be able to lead a smoother transition of Britain out of the EU. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: Various New York politicians, including Mayor Bill de Blasio, New York’s attorney general Eric T. Schneiderman, Governor Andrew M. Cuomo, and Senator Kirsten E. Gillibrand, have released their tax returns. Donald Trump, on the other hand, has not. (NYT)

Happening on campus: Voting for student councils starts today! Go vote!

Overheard: “I’d be so good at marrying rich. Every woman in my family except for my aunt has done it.”

Old celeb tweet: 

My spirit animal

Apr

13

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Professor Adina Ciugureanu

Yesterday, Professor Adina Ciugureanu from Ovidius University in Constanta, Romania, gave a talk on the legacy of the Roman poet Ovid in the Black Sea. Bwog’s resident Classics majors, Youngweon and Finn, attended the talk and learned some things about Ovid.

The majority of the scholarship on Ovid, as Professor Gareth Williams commented, is centered around Western Europe and America, and his time in Rome; his time in exile in the Greek city of Tomis, present-day Constanta, Romania, doesn’t get as much attention. In this talk, Professor Ciugureanu gave an interesting perspective on Ovid in talking about his influence on the region that he was exiled to, as well as the influence that his exile in itself had on literature and philosophy.

Professor Ciugureanu started the lecture with a brief introduction on Ovid and his life; Ovid, known as Ovidius to Romans, was a poet who lived under the reign of Augustus. He was born to a well-to-do Roman family, and received an elite education in Rome. He traveled to Greece and Sicily as part of his education, as was customary during the time for the children of the Roman elite, and took a job in the public sector afterwards. However, to the disappointment of his father, he discovered that he didn’t like that very much, and instead dedicated his life to writing poetry. His first serious work was the Amores, which is a series of erotic poems about himself and Corina, his imaginary love interest. He then went on to write Epistolae Heroidium (or Heroides, as students of LitHum may know it), a series of imaginary letters from mythological heroines to their lovers; Medicamina Faciei (“The Art of Beauty”), a book about cosmetics; Ars Amatoria (“The Art of Love”), sex advice for Roman lovers; and the Metamorphoses, an extensive collection of mythological stories, all of which involve a kind of metamorphosis, beginning with the creation of the world and ending with the chaos after Caesar’s death and the Augustan peace that followed.

What happened next in Ovid’s life?

Apr

12

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Happening in the world: Apparently, Ivanka Trump played a big role in convincing her father to authorize a missile strike in Syria against an Assad-regime airbase after a horrendous chemical gas attack, according to an interview with The Daily Telegraph and Eric Trump. (CNN)

Happening in NYC: Yellow Magnolia Café opens at Brooklyn Botanic Garden! This restaurant’s menu is focused on light, vegetable-centered plates. Get off campus this weekend and eat some fresh veggies! (NYT)

Happening on campus: Are you an art history major? The Barnard SGA is hosting an event about what you can do with a degree in art history today 6:30pm-7:30pm in 223 Milbank Hall.

Overheard: “I wanna get married in Low.” “That’s weird, what if your husband went to Cornell?” “What an awful hypothetical.”

An old celeb tweet: 

tbh, same.

Apr

6

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img April 06, 20171:35 pmimg 0 Comments

Carman 409B. This is a dingle, but it has nothing to do with this article. It’s just a random dingle.

Stressed about your housing for next year? Bwogger Youngweon Lee has a solution for the most screwed among you.

With most juniors and seniors having picked their housing for next year by now, as we liveblogged the whole process, we were able to witness a diverse array of emotions. Some people just wanted us to know that they’re very happy, a group of seniors were excited to go back to McBain for some godforsaken reason, and we saw a lot of happy groups who are going to live in EC, Hogan, etc. for next year. However, if the group before you took the last Watt studio double or the last EC townhouse, and you had go to your last choice dorm that has rats in it, what do you do?

Well, as usual, Bwog has the answer for you. Here is a step-by-step process on what to do if you were royally screwed over by housing. (This might especially be useful for sophomores who are about to be shafted in McBain.)

How to get the best housing.

Apr

5

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img April 05, 20179:00 amimg 1 Comments

Happening in the world: There was a deadly chemical attack in a northern rebel-held zone of Syria yesterday. Dozens of people, including children, died from this attack. The substance seems to have had a nerve agent or other banned chemicals. Western leaders, including Trump, are blaming President Bashar al-Assad for the attack. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: After Monday’s derailment at Penn Station damaged equipment, Amtrak said that there will be modified services and delays for the foreseeable future. Other trains going in and out of New York, including LIRR and NJ Transit, will also be affected. (ABC – click for details on the modified train schedules)

Happening on campus: Dr. Salim Abdool Karim will be leading a discussion about HIV/AIDS, hosted by the Journal of Global Health today in Fayerweather 313, from 7:30pm to 8:30pm.

Overheard: “I love Pride and Prejudice so much, [my suite] named our bong Mr. Darcy.”

An old celeb tweet:

Don’t do drugs, kids

Apr

3

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img April 03, 20175:53 pmimg 1 Comments

This could be you.

Location: 508 W 114th St. (between Broadway and Amsterdam, right next to Amsterdam)

  • Nearby dorms: John Jay, Carman, Frat Row
  • Stores and restaurants: Hamilton Deli, Strokos, Artopolis, 1020, Hungarian

Cost: standardized to $9,292/year

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: One or two in each suite, with a counter and sink, toilet, and shower.
  • AC/Heating: There is heating, but no AC.
  • Kitchen: One in each suite, but it’s not very big.
  • Lounge: There is a basement lounge and a study room.
  • Laundry: In the basement.
  • Computers/Printers: There is a printer in the lobby.
  • Fire escapes: There are fire escapes, but you aren’t allowed to go on them, and this rule seems to be enforced.
  • Bike Storage: There is bike storage in the basement.
  • Gym: There is work out equipment in the basement.
  • Intra-Transportation: There are treacherously spiraling stairs and one elevator.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: No carpet. The rooms have hardwood floors and there are tiles and linoleum in the rest of the building.
  • Wifi: The usual CUIT wifi.
  • Bonus: The proximity to JJ’s (and the rest of campus) is a plus.

Enough space for a ru?

Apr

3

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img April 03, 20174:35 pmimg 0 Comments

Hella stairs

Looking for a nice, quiet living space on Riverside Drive that isn’t St. A’s? Look no further than Woodbridge. 

Location: 431 Riverside Dr.

  • Nearby dorms: St. A’s, Schapiro, the 600s
  • Stores and restaurants: M2M, Morton William’s, Vine, a halal cart

Cost: standardized to $9,292/year

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: One in each suite/apartment/whatever you wanna call it, with a sink, toilet, and a bathtub.
  • AC/Heating: There is heating, but no AC.
  • Kitchen: One in each suite.
  • Lounge: There isn’t a lounge that serves as a common space for the building, but each suite has a common area that may be turned into a second bedroom of sorts.
  • Laundry: In the basement.
  • Computers/Printers: There is a printer in the lobby.
  • Fire escapes: None.
  • Bike Storage: None.
  • Gym: There is a fitness room on the first floor.
  • Intra-Transportation: There are stairs, and one very slow elevator.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: The kitchens have linoleum floors, and the rest of the suite has that ugly dorm carpet. Some renovated suites have hardwood floors.
  • Wifi: The usual CUIT wifi.
  • Bonus: It’s right next to Riverside Park, which means lots of puppers around.

Check out the rest of Woodbridge.

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