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Daily Archive: October 16, 2018

Oct

16

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Hello my purest love

Only occasionally do I weigh in on the John Jay vs Ferris debate, but today I could not stay silent: John Jay is my jam. While shoving tofu cubes and hot sauce into my mouth during a meal with friends (actually with our dear EIC Youngweon and ESC boi Finn), a glistening blue tower in a corner caught my eye. A fat stack of Dasani water bottles quietly occupied a humble square foot of the back dining room, proving what I honestly already knew: our lovely CU dining staff has been filling the Coke touch-machines with bottled water. It only makes sense—the bright blue water button in the corner is just a digital symbol of its real bright blue presence in the corner of the dining room. What else could they possibly use all of those water bottles for? To hydrate NYC marathon runners? To draw a fine bottled water bubble bath for our fearless leader? To mobilize drinking water? Obviously not. Too many times have I heard people misdirect their praise to the drip of the Catskill/Delaware watershed: “Ah, wow, so refreshing. Isn’t it great that NYC has the best tap water EVER? (!!!)” But I always knew those extra electrolytes weren’t deposited by the fins of upstate fish. The Johnathan Jay Collective (praise for JJ’s too) has been providing us with only the purest, hydrating, best water money could buy. And for that, I thank them, endorse them, and love them.

splash via Amara Banks

Oct

16

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As the ancient proverb goes: “It be like that sometimes.”

The glaring red notification on your Mail app seems to glow just a little more intensely this month. You’re haunted by the drafted emails you’ve really only got as far as “Dear Professor” with. It’s been one week since you texted in Slack, five days since you emailed back, three days since you left your room–now Bwog is setting the ground rules for when “taking time for myself” is still appropriate and when it’s just plain ghosting. 

Major adviser: 4-5 business days

You freaked out and emailed the department head at 2 am, asking if you could meet with her outside of her office hours to discuss potentially majoring in her subject. Like the gracious and kindhearted person she is, she responded promptly on a weekend–a Saturday morning, even. You still haven’t responded because you are 1) ashamed at the nature by which you contacted her, and 2) don’t really know what you say at office hours. You consider changing your major to avoid the inevitable awkward encounter at department soireés. Dear reader, do not feel intimidated if you are responding outside of this timeframe. So long as it is not a time-sensitive matter (in this case, the approach of major declaration) this professor will still be kind and receptive even if you are emailing three weeks late.

Your regular hook up: Whenever

I would hope that you have established clear enough boundaries that a non-response is just as good as a “Nah, not feeling it.” You should shoot something off, ideally, but the typical expiration for a “wyd?” text is an hour. Neither of you are entitled to each other’s time, so don’t expect extreme timeliness when you’re the one shooting off that late night text three days later. Common decency says respond as soon as possible about what you’re feeling, but street rules don’t care about house rules: go crazy.

Friends asking you out to lunch: Within 30 minutes

If you don’t stop neglecting your friends right now, I swear to God. The only acceptable excuses are: my phone was dead, I was in class, I have already eaten–all of which need to be communicated! It’s not really about the food; it’s about the people, so even if you’re not feeling John Jay, sit with your friends on the lawns while you still can, meet them at Milstein, cook together. Your friends miss you even if they don’t explicitly say so. In turn, you’re also allowed to double, triple, quadruple-text them when you want to hang out and they want to go ghost.

Find out how long you can ghost a Buy Sell Trade Seller before you officially flake.

Oct

16

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We love Barnard! Thank you SGA

Today’s Tuesday, so that means another recap of the weekly Rep Council meeting of Barnard’s Student Government Association. Wait, you must be asking yourself, do those really happen every week? How could they possibly have enough to talk about? Great question. The answer is that they really don’t. Instead, SGA has been keeping with their tactic of bringing in student, faculty, and administrative guests to share information that may have better been conveyed in an email. Intrigued? Read on for Barnard Bureau Chief Dassi Karp’s summary of what went down last night.

All speakers spoke well, questions were asked intelligently, and the meeting basically ended on time, so I’d count it as a win.

Sonam Singh, adjunct lecturer in English and bargaining unit chair for the contingent faculty union. spoke first, to further elaborate on a current grievance the union has brought to the administration. He briefly summarized the situation during the open floor section of the meeting last week. The union, which formed about three years ago, successfully negotiated a contract last year. “Our campaign was a big success,” Singh said, explaining that the negotiated minimum pay for part-time faculty is among the highest in the country. “We’re incredibly proud of what we’ve been able to accomplish,” he said. “We’re setting a national standard and that’s amazing.” But his success doesn’t mean that all is well. The union has filed a grievance with the college about stipends for First-Year Seminar instructors. Previously, every instructor was given the same stipend, no matter their rank. This year, union members are no longer given the stipend, while tenured and tenure-track instructors still are. This “seems clearly discriminatory” in the view of the union. The college has responded that since this stipend is not specifically included in the negotiated contract, they are not required to provide it. “We think the answer is absurd and unfair,” said Singh. The matter will be taken to outside arbitration, which will be a long and expensive process.

More school politics after the jump

Oct

16

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we love nature and ecology!

As every week, Bwog’s dedicated and experienced Engineering Student Council Bureau Chief Finn Klauber reports everything going on in SEAS student government.

At the ESC meeting last night in the Satow Room, the Council covered some basic updates followed by discussions on the creation of an Ecology minor and a proposed mental health statement.

Cultivating An Ecology Minor
According to ESC President Ria Garg, a girl recently came to ESC to ask for a statement of support regarding the creation of an Ecology minor. While Garg was not sure “why she needs a statement of support,” she figured that the ESC should discuss the topic first. The response from ESC was general confusion over what they are supposed to do. The VP Communications Asher Goldfinger asked if there was a monetary commitment that has to be made, before generally asking why ESC should support a process about which they don’t know anything. 2019 President Izzet Kebudi then clarified that the creation of new minors falls under the purview of the Education Committee of the University Senate. There was general agreement that this affects SEAS as minors in SEAS are different from concentrations in CC, but nobody could agree on what exactly is the difference or how to proceed with the request. As such, the Council decided to table the topic until next week pending more research into the SEAS framework for minors.

Group Editing A Mental Health Statement
The majority of the meeting last night was oriented around the finalization of a mental health statement to be released to the Columbia community. After emailing Deans Boyce, Morrison, and Plaa about the administration’s response to the recent tragic suicide, Dean Plaa responded that SEAS faculty should know about what happened and how students are grieving. He suggested specifically that if any student needs academic support, they should go to their advising dean. To communicate this information to the student body, ESC decided to craft all the information they have on the situation—including the typical list of mental health resources we see on every email from the administration—in the form of an ESC statement.

What can ESC spend 50 minutes editing? Click here to find out

Oct

16

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at graduation you thought this was gonna be y’all. psych lol college changed you.

It’s that time of year… we’re not saying long distance is fake, but how likely is it that you met the love of your life at age 16?

It’s been approximately a month and a half into school, and you’re finally getting tired of those five hour-long Facetime calls where you watch each other do laundry and rant about your psychology professors. Despite enjoying the privilege of telling people “I’m dating someone” when a snap code is offered to you at EC, you’ve got to admit to yourself: you really, really didn’t mean it when you said that you’d be with each other forever or that they’re your moon and stars while you clutched your diploma and cigar at graduation. Here are the ten stages of breaking up with the person everyone back home thought you were going to marry:

  1. You’ve made a list of pros and cons of dating them. Pros: you can tell people you have a significant other. Cons: they’re really not that significant anymore.
  2. You listen to a lot of Party Favor by Billie Eilish.
  3. You draft your breakup letter to them with lyrics from Party Favor by Billie Eilish.
  4. You spend the early hours of your morning talking to your roommate about how “I just don’t really feel that special when we’re together. Plus, we’re not even that together.”
  5. You decide that a breakup letter is way too much effort, and they’d probably only get it in 3-5 business days anyways.
  6. You decide to break up over text with them.
  7. You google “How to break up with someone over text” and the first article you read tells you not to break up with someone over text.
  8. Great, now you have to call them.
  9. “In an ideal world, we’d be together right now… But it’s not you; it’s me” and all that other bullshit.” (But really, you know it’s neither them nor you– it’s really nothing. Just like your relationship.) You say as you eat Cheetos and curl up against the wall of your hallways, “Maybe you should try dating someone else to get over me. Branch out. How about that Samantha girl from your University Writing class?”
  10. You redownload Tinder.

your shattered hopes and dreams via pixabay

Oct

16

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where to find the different types of sandwiches

Tonight at 6 PM, the annual 715-foot sandwich courtesy of Barnard McAC and Dining Services will span across Barnard’s campus, from Barnard Hall to the Milstein Center. Different options for different dietary restrictions will be provided, including vegan, kosher, and halal options. Make sure to stop by, or just literally be anywhere on campus, at or before 6 PM to grab your part of the Big Sub!

Image via Barnard McAC

Oct

16

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All you can eat barbecue?? Sign us up.

Sign up for our Bwogletter!!

Happening in the World:  A 13 year old Wisconsin girl who has been missing since Monday is now considered endangered. The call was received by the police at 1 A.M. on Monday, from someone seeking help. When the call was responded, it was found that the girl’s parents were both shot dead inside their home. The girl is not considered a suspect in her parents’ deaths, and officials are still working on looking for her.

Happening in the US: Approaching the elections, tens of thousands of Georgia voters were placed on a special list for further scrutiny. Stacy Abrams, the Democrat, is hoping to be the nation’s first black female governor, had founded a group that registered thousands of new minority voters in the last five years. Her opponent Brian Kemp advanced strict voting rules that says are needed to combat fraud.

Happening in NYC: A new Korean barbecue restaurant, Let’s Meat, has changed the Korean barbecue  game in NYC. This new restaurant is the first all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue restaurant in NYC, a concept that has been popular in places like Los Angeles and Korea for years. The first 70 minutes are reserved for ordering, and the last 30 minutes for more grilling and eating.

Happening on Campus: Barnard McAC is having their semesterly traditional Big Sub day!!!! Starting at 6PM, students (not just Barnard students, all of Columbia is welcome) will scramble to grab a sandwich in the 715-foot (218-meter) long sub all throughout Barnard’s campus.

Overseen/Overheard: A Columbia tour guide wearing a USC shirt.

Photo via Secret NYC

Oct

16

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in here reside some of the hardest workers on campus

Staff writer Sarah Braner unveils the reason behind the ungodly sluggishness of the Barnard Hall elevators. 

Many of us have had a class in Barnard Hall. However, if you have had a class on the third floor or above, you are probably aware of the elevator situation: They’re slow. Really slow.

Well, there’s a reason the Barnard Hall elevators are the way they are. For they are not powered by newfangled hydraulics or anything the kids love so much these days. It’s just a bunch of mice with a pulley system.

Don’t believe me? Step into one of the elevators, making sure you’re alone. Say “God, why is this elevator so slow?” three times, and if the mice approve of your presence, they’ll take you to the secret floor below the tunnel. (Might want to bring a book for the journey.) When the doors open, there you will see it: just a line of mice and a rope.

You might have some questions. Why are they here? Do they know the Rat King of Lerner Hall? That rope looks like it’s seen better days, are we all in danger every time we take the elevator? Why haven’t they formed a union? (You probably didn’t need to come all this way to answer that last one.) These are questions I am not permitted to answer, but if they have approved of your presence this far, you may find the answers you seek.

Just be sure not to piss them off, or you’ll be doomed to take the stairs for all eternity…

ye who enter here via Bwog Archives

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