#bitches going crazy
Field Notes: Weekend of 12/5-12/8
it's just dry shampoo don't fret

Found in Butler women’s bathroom, with message “Different people have different ways of dealing with stress I guess”

And oh what a rollicking weekend it was. There was definitely something in the air this week as people everywhere went hog wild and got up to some serious hoodrat shit.

Ah yes, nightlife

Last Lerner Pub of the semester was last night; pretty empty but not Senior-Night-at-Pourhouse status. Plus it was nice not having to wait a year to get a beer. DJ Latte spun a smattering of good Jay-Z hits. The Destiny’s Child #tbt was also much appreciated. Empanadas were yummy, although one girl who shall not be named got cut off after taking too many. Two lovely couples spent the night dancing away—salsa and such—was very fun to watch and Bwog salutes you.

1020, meanwhile, was also decently filled, but not desperately so. Mostly grad students.

Tip received Saturday morning: “Last night the Beta dog (I think) was running and playing on the tarped field in front of Math and then stopped to take a big dump then he and the owner just went on their merry way.”

Apparently there’s a “phantom vommer” who has vomited on each floor of River. Multiple sources on multiple floors confirm.

Some seriously batshit nightlife stories after the jump

Officers Arrive and Search IDs in…Butler 210
Like this, but louder and more masculine

Like this, but louder and more masculine

“Hey man it’s crazy, don’t come here, the cops are checking IDs in 1020 210!”

Around 12:35 am, as Butler emptied out for one of the last nights of acceptable drinking before finals, two men in semi-police-officer uniforms entered Butler 210 and beelined to the far side of the room, where a few tired souls were peacefully sleeping.

Tablemates made eye contact for the first time to give each other the appropriate “What the absolute fuck” stare as the officers shook awake a girl who had fallen asleep reading, asking (not in their inside voices) to see her CUID. Understandably confused, it took her a minute to fumble out her card. They gruffly woke up the other man sleeping on the squishy chairs too, who had to go across the room to a desk to show them his card.

The officers left immediately after, and Bwog followed to see what they were up to. They surveyed the break-up room/side entrance, then headed up to 5. Bwog took the elevator after theirs to the sixth floor, standing inside the staircase on the fifth, but they were too quick for our rusty old knees, and our nose couldn’t pick up the scent of sprinkled donuts on any floor.

A simple conversation with the main security guard later—after he chatted with the men—revealed: “They don’t want people sleeping in there, and they want to make sure that they’re students. It’s a necessary thing.”

Sleeping Butlerites: Public Enemy Number 1.

Your friendly neighborhood librarian via Shutterstock

Apparently Hulk Tried To Enter Roone Via Broadway

Midterms rage?

WHAT THE FOX SAY

Roar/whatever sound the hulk makes

BoardHop: The Shortcomings of Chalk (and Existence)

Bitches are going crazy with exams already, as this board found in 719 Hamilton indicates.

Devoid of color.

 

Words aren’t deep enough.

Some Bastards Stole Someone’s Fish

Bwog just received an awful tip on this once-innocent Tuesday evening: a resident of John Jay has had their pet fish stolen. The abducted animal is a dark red beta fish who goes by the name of Fishy. Tipster Chelsea G, who lives on John Jay 6, appealed to Bwog for help in finding her pet; below is a screenshot of the fish and her request.

Fishy has already been meme-ified in the mass distress following his disappearance, and Chelsea has left fish food outside her door in case the despicable human beings who stole Fishy are reading this right now and haven’t thought about feeding him yet. We encourage anyone who has information on the missing underwater creature to contact tips or use hashtag “#findfishy.”

From Chelsea:

“He’s already been meme-ified! D: I’m desperately trying to study for a physics midterm, BUT I NEED HIM. He’s gotten me through midterms before…what will happen now?  WHO IN THE HELL STEALS A FISH WITHOUT TAKING THE FISHTANK?!?! There was a lid on the tank, so he couldn’t have gotten out on his own. (Though I do admit he is absolutely brilliant). There’s fish food outside my room in case the culprit hasn’t thought to purchase any yet. I just want Fishy back safe and sound.”

Seriously, guys? You couldn’t find meaning in your own sad existences so you had to steal somebody’s pet? You sick fucks.

Overseen: FroSci Gone Wild
He undresses

He undresses

If you think Frontiers of Science is a boring, useless class, think again—the Core’s most infamous class went wild today.

According to our reports, the first class of the physics unit was running a bit late when the lights went out. When they came back on, professor Emlyn Hughes was in the spotlight.

Then Snoop Dogg’s  Lil Wayne’s “Drop It Like It’s Hot” started playing in some sort of weird combination with deadmau5, Billy Joel, and Die Antwoord (UPDATE: we’re pretty sure this is what was playing) and he started to undress and put on a hoodie and sunglasses. After that, he curled up into a fetal position in his chair as images of 9/11, terrorists, and Nazi Germany started playing on the projector.

Finally, the show was interrupted by ninjas who appeared and smashed puppets onstage.

But none of this was as offensive as the fact that he proceeded to display a Big Bang Theory clip in a “Science” class.

We shit you not. And it makes no sense to us either.

Here’s the video:

FroSci Gone Wild from Bwog on Vimeo.

Update, 2/19 4:30 pm: The University has finally released a statement saying that “appropriate academic administrators” are “reviewing the facts of this particular presentation.”

John Jay Doesn’t Even Lift

Yesterday Bwog reported on the beginnings of an insurrection in John Jay over an elevator which has been under emergency repairs since last semester. The conflict rages on with today’s new communiqué from the field:

Overseen: John Jay Goes Cray Cray

One of John Jay’s elevators has been undergoing emergency repair since the beginning of the semester.

The oppressed and alienated residents of the 15-story building now have to make a choice: to arduously wait in line for up to 20 minutes or to scale the building’s interminable stairs.

Enraged, the John Jayites are rising against the system. They can’t literally rise because they don’t have an elevator, so they have appealed to the most efficient and universal form of university protest: snarky annotations.

BoardHop: Losing It

This survival journal has been discovered in a dorm lounge, reminding us of the apocalyptic nature of this specific finals season.  Despite losing our collective mind over (what is, essentially) this silliness of tests, it is comforting to see mention of other humans in this note, so at least the writer is not alone and has people to commiserate with and talk to.

“The moon has begun to eclipse the sun. Or at least that’s what it seems like in my head. People here are starting to go mad. Lucas is smelling people, Jess is much more aggressive, and nobody is getting any sleep. I don’t know how much longer I can take this before I start eating my notes and studying my fried JJ’s food. Lord save my soul. If I don’t make it through, tell my mother I love her.”

The Butler Emergency Message Kit

The “bitches going crazy” tag has gotten a lot of action over the past week, proving that people are indeed losing their shit (as usual) this finals season. Common complaints have included people sleeping at their tables for hours on end, watching Netflix for hours on end, eating really pungent foods at their tables, and having not-so-hushed gossipy conversations with table mates. No matter what the offense, you need an easy and quick way to express your judgement without taking time away from your own weird library activities — and we have the perfect solution for you. The Butler Emergency Message Kit has pithy phrases for almost all of your aggravated complaints; all you need to do is print, cut out, and slide towards the offender in question. A flashcard says a thousand words:

Your handy guide to bitching at butler

Your handy guide to bitching at butler

Orgo Night: Our Roundup

The band and the crowd.

Orgo Night began as a usual night in Butler: as a mass of people intently studying in 209. Nearly all desks were full as the stress of exams bubbled in everyone’s heads. As the crowds started to walk in, three different looks popped on people’s faces. Some looked up from their books, faces lit with the knowledge and anticipation of the exciting school tradition that was to come. Others looked up confused at the crowd, unaware of what was about to happen. An older-looking man asked, “How long does Orgo Night usually last? Can I study in here?” The reply was, “you’re in the wrong place.” And the third look was a look of confusion and fascination about the large number of people who were gathering around holding signs.

Bwog was getting tips about an upcoming protest against the flyer that had sparked so much controversy earlier in the day. When Bwog asked one of protestors their opinion, they replied that they were unhappy with the advertising for this event and would silently protest with posters during the band’s event.

As the crowd began to gather, another student joked, “This is a microcosm of the Columbia community. 5% of the people are here protesting, 5% are just laughing at them, and the other 90% are super stressed out and studying.” Soon, all the people studying left and the tabletops were occupied by the audience and protesters.

Enter the band.

Orgo Night (And Associated Protests, Counter-Protests) 2012

With all the controversy the CUMB has been stirring up in the past few hours, you’d be a fool to miss Orgo Night. You’d also be a fool to give up your hard-won Butler seat, though, and to stuff your way into a crowd of desperate, tired people. Below, the best of both worlds: a live stream of all the political incorrect insanity of CUMB, five inches away from your face. Enjoy (or be offended by) the show. Bwog will be updating this post throughout the night, as well as tweeting from on the scene.

The band’s live stream isn’t working yet, but you can keep checking here.

 

Check out the rest of our coverage after the break

Overseen: Notes That Are More Aggressive Than Passive

We all hate Butler campers — and we all are Butler campers. One brave bitch going crazy, though, has had enough with the vicious cycle and the abandoned backpacks. Don’t be scared by the latent rage present, though; the heart at the end means that they really do like you, don’t worry, and they’re not *that* mad at you. Well, they are, they’re just holding on to a vestige of politeness. Really, the heart just makes it even more aggressive.

So many mixed signals

Wednesday Wasted on Water

Two girls were seen plundering Morton Williams of its supply of Pellegrino sparkling water bottles—but they had one of those tubs you use to move your entire amount of possessions into your room in the fall. Maybe they had just gotten out of a two-seat Lambo and were really thirsty…?

PSA: Don’t Even Try

Overseen this weekend

Update, 12:48 am: And apparently all of you in Butler are busy procrastinating by confessing your crushes on this Tumblr…

Finals cometh and with that Butler is completely full.  After doing the rounds for a half hour, Bwog has determined that, as oft happens this magical time of year, there are no more open seats.  Go to sleep, and for goodness sake don’t camp and don’t follow this overheard dude:

Person 1: I’m going to sleep.

Person 2: Whaaattt?

Person 1: …in the Ref Room.

Meanwhile, Bwog looked over in 310 and saw a man complete three Google searches:

  1. What’s the most dangerous animal
  2. Who is the most overpaid actor
  3. What is the most boring city in the United States

Let us know your answers to these pressing questions in the comments.