“As a man, I’m flesh and blood; I can be ignored, I can be destroyed. But as a hawk… as a hawk I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting.”—Hawkma
Like the proverbial dove with olive branch, Hawkma has emerged resplendent after the storm. Bwog couldn’t have asked for a better omen.
Courtesy of freshpeople on JJ13
When we last saw Hawkma, she was homemaking on JJ 10. Today a tipster spotted her surveying Morningside Park. As she soared from perch to perch a father pointed to the skies and shouted, “Look, son, there she goes!”
Don’t get too attached to the comforts of your subculture; hipsters won’t last forever. (Flavorwire)
Rick Santorum, the anti-cajun, bonds with Louisiana primary voters, and it pays off. (CNN)
McDonald’s has a new CEO, and he possesses a “relatively rare mix of social prowess and sophisticated mathematical skills.” Clearly this author has never visited Mudd! (Reuters)
Today is International Waffle Day! Go forth and gorge! (Gothamist)
Not any man (or hawk) via Wikimedia Commons.
Hawkma, evidently undeterred by the scandal surrounding her namesake this week, has returned to her one of her favorite perches, a JJ10 balcony. This time she brought a friend and some sticks. Could our fierce feathery friend be thinking of relinquishing her role as queen of the night and settling down? Spring is in the air and, although we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves, we’re daring to dream of fluffy little Hawkmadinejad Jrs. Keep us posted, JJ10!
Our beloved Hawkma has been spotted on the JJ10 balcony, gloriously resting there as she has in the past. Perhaps confused by this inconsistent weather, she looks out over campus in concern, pondering our fates. We can only hope that she will continue her reign as Queen of the Night rather than puzzle us with riddles and that she will soon give a rousing speech, bringing us all to victory over threatening snow storms, global warming, and bio midterms.
Hawkma was found lounging on a balcony of John Jay yesterday, a spot that she tends to visit often now. Meanwhile, earlier tipsters spotted her hawkadinnerjad, “a substantially-sized bone picked clean outside of Hartley.” Take heed, residents of the general area; Hawkma might have moved on to bigger things.
Although CIRCA’s seats were empty, dinner was served last night in The Warwick Hotel to Ahmadinejad, about 100 university students, some professors, and UN leaders. Sources say that the evening had a light-hearted mood (despite a few walkouts), and that the President of Iran enjoyed himself. Some major points of the dinner and today’s address to the U.N. General Assembly:
- UANI (United Against Nuclear Iran) protested the dinner with bicycle billboards, automobile billboards, and flyers
- Ahmadinejad emphasized that he believes a “minority” of protesters were killed in the 2009-2010 street protests, and advised against foreign intervention in Syria.
- Ahmadinejad asked the U.N. for 20% enriched Uranium for Iran’s domestic consumption.
- Ahmadinejad claimed that Iran is the “only nation” that can “offer a new model of life for the world.” He foresees a new movement in Iran that will be invulnerable to U.S. “hijacking”
- Delegates from France, Germany, and the U.K. walked out during the delegation
In what will certainly be characterized by the media as caving to public pressure, the Columbia International Relations Council and Association, CIRCA, will be a no show at tomorrow’s dinner with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. It is not clear as of yet whether or not CIRCA was disinvited from the event, or if they chose themselves to avoid further controversy. CIRCA President Rhonda Shafei, CC’12, only confirmed that CIRCA would not be participating, and that the tickets have been given to another student organization. She would not comment on which group this might be.
The dinner has been controversial since Spectator first broke the story that plans were in the works. The following day, the New York Post and Fox News published a distorted account of the planned events, which claimed that President Bollinger and the University in some way supported the event. Many others followed suit, resulting in one attempt to bring legal action against the university.
Self-appointed Chief Hawkmadinejad Biographer Sameea Butt sings of gender identity and incorporeality for the benefit of 2015.
It all started with SIPA’s decision to make the annual World Leader’s Forum a smidge more interesting in 2007. They extended an invitation, with PrezBo’s blessing, to the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to speak on campus was met with a wide spectrum of reactions: some shouted for dialogue and perspective, while others tried to build an impenetrable human barrier between AJ and Lerner. There must have been free food on South Lawn that day, because he made it safe and sound to Roone to an event that was more or less tame given the insanity his presence precipitated.
A few months later, a hawk was spotted swooping down on its lunch of poor, unsuspecting city pigeon. A call for names was sent out, noting that hawks are territorial, “so he/she might be around for a while.” We had no idea. A short discussion in the comments section later, the notorious bird of prey and predator of the press became one: the red tailed petty dictator of city pigeons was christened Hawkmadinejad.
Contrary to her reputation, Hawkma wasn’t always the fear-mongering bird of prey we know today. It was a long and difficult ride up to the top of the Pantheon of Columbia animals, which to date includes, according to tipsters and commenters, Nathaniel the peregrine falcon, Goose Robbins, a bull named Moo Bullinger, a peacock, and a Morningside Park turkey.
When we first met Hawkma in 2007, she was just a juvenile red tailed hawk having a bit of a tough time settling into the neighbirdhood. She is reported to have frequently gotten into skirmishes with the local birds who, wary of her plans for campus takeover, would try to drive her out. She stood her ground though, boldly defending her new territory against aggressive squirrels and bullying crows.
The feisty little bird’s constant reminders (in the form of bloody massacres) that she wasn’t going anywhere prompted a little research on her family tree, revealing that Hawkma was the abandoned son (sex change or different bird, we discuss ahead) of Pale Male, “the first raptor bird of NYC, who nested on the most expensive piece of property on 5th Avenue a few years back and somehow “lured” a female to his nest with magical pheromones and now has many offspring nesting all over NYC.”
After initial fears over her potential demise, Hawkmadinejad has not only risen from the dead, but seems intent on becoming a prominent campus fixture. In both of the recently tipped photos Hawkma appears to be watching us—does Hawkma wish to catch a glimpse of life as Columbia student or has Hawkma turned her powerful gaze on us to chastise our own intrusive gawking?
Like the magnificent phoenix, Hawkmadinejad has risen from the ashes and returned to Columbia. While Bwog’s crack team of orithonologists cannot confirm whether these two photos are of the same hawk, both birds sport a large white patch on the upper chest. Hawkma is probably just back to scope out the incoming crop of freshpeople.
Two days ago Sharon Tobias wrote:
Yesterday a tipster reported:
We’ve got some (potentially) sad news, folks. Hawkma’s reign over freshmen, upperclassmen, and faculty alike may have come to an end in the wee hours of the night. Though we can’t say for sure whether this is merely a Hawkmimposter, the slain bird does seem to resemble our robust, bloodthirsty friend.
Tipster Ze’ev Gebler sent in the following photo, and it doesn’t look good:
Rest in peace, sweet prince.
NYU’s adopted hawk family, Violet and Bobby, have been the subject of a lot of concern recently. Bird experts, and Bwog, claimed that the pair’s eggs past due earlier this week, but to the shock and surprise of live stream viewers, one chick has since emerged! College students aren’t the only people who procrastinate in/on Bobst Library. The NYTimes City Room is hosting a competition to name the new babies. Bwowk, anyone?
The ornithological relief was short lived, however, as bird-watchers noticed a blue plastic band tightly wrapped around one of Violet’s (the mother) legs. Her leg has since swollen, and hawk experts suggest that if it is not quickly removed, Violet will lose her leg, her life, and thus her babies. A daring rescue plan is being formulated by University officials and hawk rehabilitation experts. Supposedly, it will involve an 18ft long pole-net and some poor sucker climbing out onto the roof. Best of luck!