She's pumped.

On one blustery winter evening each year, (read: tonight at 7 pm), the Asian American Alliance (AAA) hosts cultureSHOCK in Lerner to showcase Asian American performance, fashion, and FOOD from groups across the Columbia community. In an attempt to answer the clearly rhetorical questions on the event’s Facebook page, Bwog’s resident expert on both Asia and America, Raphaelle Debenedetti, sat down with this year’s directors, Susan Li and Kristen Lu, at their well-appointed but tasteful table in Lerner.

The Asian American Alliance (AAA) table on Lerner Ramp was full (as it almost always is) when I arrived to sit down with Susan Li and Kristen Lu of cultureSHOCK.

Every year the AAA (currently consisting of 22 members) organizes a huge event at Columbia, and this year’s theme is “evolution.” Thus, while the poster might look like it depicts a galaxy far far away, don’t be fooled: it is in fact an egg symbolising the drastic changes the Asian American community has undergone over the last several decades. (Duh).

Susan dazzled Bwog with some of the highlights you can look forward to tonight: “we have incredible performances and raffles with glamorous prizes (your entry ticket is a raffle ticket, so keep it!), and of course food and beverages.” What kinds of prizes, exactly? It turns out that corporate sponsors have provided a cornucopia of capitalist bounty: Princeton Review (one of the golden sponsors) is raffling off a free course; Folli Follie is offering gift bags in addition to 20% off at its store downtown with proof of attendance (once again, dudes and dudettes: keep your ticket!). They’re additionally giving away $25 gift cards to all audience members. In an interesting midwinter juxtaposition, both McDonald’s and Equinox Gym are also sponsoring the event, so the first hundred to come will get a $5 McDonald’s gift card and a free day pass to the swanky health club. If (heaven forbid) you tire of our lovely and fragrant Dodge, Bwog recommends that you work out with the Upper West Side elite for a few hours before treating yourself to something special under the golden arches. Zero sum game!

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The cake was a lie

Today, a few intrepid Columbia students unsatisfied by ethnically ambiguous dining hall offerings ventured into Hamilton 702 with open minds and empty stomachs for the supposed first lecture of a course entitled “Masterpieces of Western Food.” While immediately put off by the alarming lack of snacks, this audacious reporter stuck it out, for reasons of journalistic integrity and an unfortunate seating choice that would have made it awkward to get up and leave.

Over the course of forty minutes or so, the “TA” regaled a small audience (including one brave and foolish LitHum instructor) with quotes from an ancient Greek text detailing the merits of eel scrotum, a description of explorers’ first encounters with the “faceless other” (the potato), and speculation on the implications of George Washington’s diet on current obesity levels. Perhaps the strangest portion of the class was an unreasonably long video of a “Professor of Food Studies” pontificating on the ickiness of cow udders and how milk is for babies. There was also a description of syllabus requirements including “take home baking assignments” to be delivered to the TA’s residence at regular intervals. Nearly everyone was extremely skeptical at this point, but mouthwatering pictures of soufflé inspired desperate hopes for culinary enlightenment.

At the end of the lecture, those who were eagerly anticipating their “taste analysis papers” were informed that the class was a joke. The students, whether disappointed or amused, filed out into the damp January air, left to contemplate such eternal questions as “Seriously, no free food?” and “Ferris or John Jay?”

Worst prank ever via Wikimedia

A tipster has just sent in this picture of a group of chairs outside Artopolis (114th and Amsterdam for you non-crêpe lovers) which, according to a sign taped up behind them, are free for the taking! Sure, it’s no IKEA, but at least they won’t scare the crap out of you like the half-reclining chairs Columbia Housing bestows upon us all. And hey, they’re probably nice and clean from the rain this morning. Supplies appear limited, so what are you waiting for?

Would you like some chair with your crêpe?

The trucks may stop here, but the buck stops with this guy

For the second day in a row, famed NYC food trucks will continue their occupation of College Walk, courtesy of Columbia Cheatsheet and Bacchanal. Today’s on-the-go menu will feature drool-worthy offerings from the GO Burger Truck and the Treats Truck (we hear their Mexican chocolate is pretty delicious). They’ll be stationed there from 12 to 4 pm, so scurry on over and indulge in some gourmet goodness. You deserve it!

Prez 33.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Food trucks make the world glow

In a tasty collaboration between Bacchanal and the new city guide Cheatsheet, four of New York’s most scrumptious food trucks will be parked on College Walk today and tomorrow. Zigzag your way to the center of campus between 12 and 4 pm to find Rickshaw Dumplings and Mexicue ready and waiting to help power you through your afternoon classes.

And if your mouth isn’t watering yet, it’s not too early to start thinking about tomorrow, when GO Burger and Bian Dang will make the drive to 116th.

Proud purveyor of Brown Butter and Candied Bacon ice cream smushed between two gluten-free peanut butter miso cookies. Yep, really.

You may have been led to believe that summer was officially over, but the sun is still shining and we’re feeling slightly sweaty in our sweaters. Luckily, the highly sought after Coolhaus truck is making a rare appearance at Columbia today. Head over to Broadway, between 114th and 115th, from noon to 5 pm to grab a “gourmet,” made to order (and New York Times recommended!) ice cream sandwich before the sub-60 degree temperatures kick in again.

You could do this, IRL

Ever dreamed of filling the shoes of great American heroes Frederick T. Frelinghuysen, Hamilton Fish, Elihu B. Washburne, or Edward Stettinius, Jr.? What about Henry Kissinger or our own John Jay? Tonight, Asch Harwood, a Research Associate at the Council on Foreign Relations, will be offering advice on how to jump-start a career in foreign affairs. So if nothing excites you more than the thought of mingling with foreign ministers and munching hors d’oeuvre in a far-flung embassy, hustle over to 303 Hamilton at 8pm to get started on your future!

Somewhere between Risk and Settlers of Catan via Flickr/Sailrad

Pictured: studying a broad

And burst it big! If you’re interested in studying abroad next semester or next year, it behooves you to dash over to 602 Hamilton at 8:15 this evening. The Office of Global Programs (OGP) is hosting a Study Abroad General Info Session for all interested undergrads. They’ll cover eligibility, types of programs, language requirements, programs for scientists & engineers, credit, and more! Students who have previously studied abroad will share stories of their adventures in the great big world: living in Senegalese home stays, managing the Argentine transport system, acing the end of term exams at LSE in London, and experiencing la vie française in Paris.

But wait, there’s more! If you are interested in studying abroad, Bwog is here to help! Read on, brave travelers.

Studying abroad is undoubtedly one of the most exciting experiences a college student can have, but the application process can seem slightly daunting at best. To give you a hand on your long winding road to the airport, Bwog presents our finest tips and tricks for studying abroad.

1. Know your deadlines. The OGP application deadline for the coming spring semester is October 1st, which is like, not a lot of days away. Most universities/programs also have application deadlines on September 30th or October 1st, so if you haven’t gotten far into the process yet, it’s time to kick your Art Hum reading to the curb (see it in real life, fool), reconcile that existential crisis about leaving the city, and start filling out forms like there’s no tomorrow!
2. Getting your transcript is E-Z! There’s no need to send your CSA advisor thirty emails or scramble over printing out one of those extremely dubious-looking SSOL grade listings. Just head on over to 210 Kent, and kindly ask someone in the Student Services Office for a copy of your transcript. All you need is your ID—if you just need a quick printout, you don’t even have to fill out a request form. Score.
3. Remember not to buy your stamps at the Package Center. Kill two birds with one administrative stone by picking up your stamps at the post office on 112th between Broadway and Amsterdam—right next to Book Culture—where you can also overnight your application so that it gets to London or Kathmandu or Moscow on time. If the line is interminably long, head down to the infinitely speedier 104th office.
4. Need clearance to study abroad, like, now? Study Abroad King, Dean Carpenter, has office hours from 2 to 4 on Thursday in the Office of Global Programs, 606 Kent. Get there early to beat the rush—there’s sure to be a long line this week, so prep to miss any classes you have during that time.
5. Meet with every advisor you have ever. If you haven’t done so yet, make email appointments with anyone who is tangentially related to your educational career. They will be crucial along the way to sign forms, tell you which classes you should or shouldn’t take, and generally let you know if you’ll still be able to graduate when you return.
6. Apply for your passport and/or visa. Some countries will make you wait until you are accepted by a host university before you can apply for a visa, but if you don’t have a passport, take care of that ASAP! The U.S. government runs even more slowly than the University Senate, and you don’t want to be stuck paying ridiculous surcharges for expedited shipping.
7. Passport pictures are expensive. Bwog spent 60 miserable dollars at Duane Reade today (since our abroad program inexplicably requires 12 photos) before realizing there was a better way that involved much less lite-music listening. A set of two passport photos are $8.99 at Ivy League Stationers, but $9.99 at Duane Reade at $10.99 at Village Copier. Plus, the Ivy League guys are some of the friendliest in town, and sell Gelly Roll Pens.

Et voila! No Morningside February for you, friend!

Pun only a dad would make via Wikimedia Commons

Like this, but it fits in your pocket

Several score and a couple of years ago, state conventions ratified the highly experimental United States Constitution. This revered document is responsible both for the framework of our government and stopping Arnold Schwarzenegger from running for president.

To commemorate this special day, you can pick up a free pocket version of the Constitution at the Offices of Government & Community Affairs, rooms 302, 308, & 309 Low Library, starting at noon today. Supplies are limited, so you better hurry. Then you can take a lil’ democracy with you everywhere you go. John Jay would be proud.

Also, if you suddenly have a hankering for handling history in Butler, head over to the Rare Book & Manuscript Library on the 6th floor, and check out John Jay’s original draft of Federalist Paper number 5.

James Madison’s proverbial offspring from Wikimedia Commons

Help us (via tips) find out how to lead you to these!

According to @ColumbiaFoodPod—a twitter account that keeps CU students up-to-date on daily food truck prevalence whereabouts in Morningside Heights—we should expect two dessert trucks today. Both Cupcake Stop and Sweetery NYC will be parked on Amsterdam between 117th and 120ths streets.

No word yet on times, but tip us or write below in the comments if you see the trucks!

Update: @ColumbiaFoodPod has announced that the trucks will be around campus from 12 until 3 pm. Joining the sweet food trucks will be EddiesPizzaNY, TaimMobile, BistroTruck, and Mexicue. Talk about competition!

Unrealistic expectations via Wikimedia Commons.

JJ’s place will now be open Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 12pm till 8pm. They are, of course, still open from 8pm till 1am Sunday through Wednesday. Nothing complements pre-gaming like mozzarella sticks and sliders.

Columbia Greenmarket is your best bet every Thursday and Sunday. Bwog will keep you updated on the veteran vendors and new additions each week. “>

Be sure to bring your ID if you want to get in on the local (sweet berry*) wine.

Broadway between 114th and 116th (in front of Lerner) is the place to be today if you have yet to stock up on fridge fodder. If you want to stave off the freshman (or sophomore… or junior) 15, and you kinda dig supporting local farmers, then Columbia Greenmarket is your best bet every Thursday and Sunday. Bwog will keep you updated on the veteran vendors and new additions each week.

Here is this week’s lineup:

• A newcomer to the market fare: grapes and grape juice from New York’s finger lakes region.
• Dairy from Ronnybrook and Millport (including yogurt drinks and whoopie pies!)
• Over 60 varieties of apples from Samascott’s Orchard
• Freshly cut flowers, potted plants, and a variety of melons and vegetables from Hodgsons farm
• Individual sized Focaccia
• Beef, pork, and chicken
• Local wine
• Beer on Sunday
• Maple syrup

As has always been, and forever will be, EBT, debit, and credit are accepted.

(*Yeah, that’s a Brule reference.)

NSOP is the new COÖP

Mornin’ freshpeople! We heard you were on an island last night!

How the kids branched out before:

NSOP renting out iconic New York places has been a tradition. Last year, 2014 was on a boat, 2013 danced in the zoo, and 2012 bonded in Victorian Gardens. But maybe dear ol’ 2011 had it best when NSOP used to host a concert. This band Vampire Weekend was there once.

Sari Ancel, SEAS ’10, shares some of her wisdom about just talking to others:

Stop and Chat > Wave Hello > Awkward Ignore…

Awkwardly ignoring someone you know is not only super mean but also not worth the effort of pretending to not know them (e.g. fake texting, feigning sudden interest in lawn trimmings). Just smile or say “hi.” This is perfect for Orientation Week when you make 150 new best friends in one day and you can’t remember someone’s name. [Side note: never be embarrassed to ask someone their name.] The Stop and Chat, however, is by far the superior option. It will help you stay updated with friends that you don’t get to see as often as you like. And, as you are rushing from a lab in Mudd to a meeting in Lerner, the stop and chat will keep you sane / put a smile on your face.

A few culinary options around Morningside Heights:

You’ll probably get sick of John Jay at some point (probably this week, maybe even today), so why not get a little adventurous and check out some of the other options you have right around you?

• If burgers are your thing, look no further than our own Battle of the Burgers guide to the neighborhood
• If brunch is your thing, Community Food & Juice is a Bwog favorite. Relish in it now, as it was once closed due to a fire but reopened to everyone’s delight. If you’re feeling bold, you can also try the new Cascabel Taqueria or the new-but-basically-just-Campo Il Cibreo.
• If you’re in need of coffee, be hip and check out Joe in NoCo
• Brad’s is an often overlooked and relatively recent addition to the campus dining fare, probably because it’s nestled in the J-School
• Food cards are a good choice if you’re just after something quick. They will really start showing up more often once the semester starts, but staples have always been dosa cart(s), halal carts (Bwog’s fave is Hooda), and the trendy Korilla.

And if you’re the kind that doesn’t like to pay for their food, don’t worry. Soon there will be tons of student groups looking to recruit fresh young minds, bribing them with the holy grail of college cuisine, free food.

A Golden Nails masterpiece tipped by Michael Kaufman

Bwog: Keeping Your Piggy Bank Slightly More Full Since 2006.

In the beginning there was Tenka, the no-fee app that lets students use social media to redeem first come, first served coupons at local eateries. Oh, and how could we forget the ultra-hip CampusFood? Thanks to the latter, we’ve been holed up in our rooms since last September with a continuous stream of flex-funded Kitchenette pancakes.

And then there were three.

UniEats, a food discount service founded last Fall at UPenn as PennEats, has just launched a Columbia branch. The deal is simple: buy a $15 card ($12 during pre-sale) online or through campus representatives at any time during the school year and use it through next May to get between 10 and 20 percent off your bill at participating local markets, coffee shops, and restaurants. Highlights include P&W, Amir’s, and Maoz. Check out the full list (and restrictions) here. According to their site, UniEats will give a portion of all proceeds to local charities.

Image of the thing you hide from your roommate but secretly think is cute via Wikimedia Commons.

The summer has been anything but dull in Morningside Heights. Perhaps the biggest news of all was the closing of H&H bagels, just downriver at 80th St. H&H was frequently cited as the top rival to our clearly superior Absolute for the best bagels on the Upper West Side, if not the entire city. Perhaps as a sign of victory, Absolute has invested in a much-needed revamp. But they’re hardly the only ones stepping up their game. Please enjoy a “meanwhile, back at the ranch” moment from the badlands of Broadway.