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Rat Race

See? We're adorable!

See? We’re adorable!

While the squirrel has long been Bwog’s rodent of choice, recent events have placed his smaller, cuter cousin in the Bwoggy spotlight. Senior Staff Writer and Art Spiegelman fan Alexander Pines brings you this continuation of the mouse chronicles at Columbia.

Look, it’s getting cold and a mouse has got to eat. We’ve about given up on Absolute, m2m, and Uni Cafe (although really, that was always our last choice)–and there’s no way we’re eating anything from Ferris, John Jay, or JJ’s Place. It’s clear that the only option left is Nussbaum, which is great–dinner and a bed to sneak into.

I made my way from the cozy walls of a Nussbaum 2 dorm room and was trying to sneak into the cafe for a quick snack of a cinnamon raison (I needed to drop clean for a job interview in a couple of days, so anything with poppy seeds was out) bagel when I was overcome with the true futility of my mission. I wake up every morning, bust my ass looking for food, try to avoid getting sucked into Goldman Sachs horrifying experiments, and return to a campus where I have to fight tooth and nail (sometimes literally) for enough space to do basic things like sleep and work. I do this day in and day out with little affirmation from my peers or the world at large and it just never ends. Sometimes I’m just so damn tired. I need a break.

So I freeze at the base of one of the steps, fur rustling with the chill, stomach rumbling. This is the reason I don’t take breaks–it’s dangerous. This place becomes so easily overwhelming that getting overrun is a figurative and, at this moment, literal reality.

Fortunately, a kind student spotted me and, instead of immediately treating me like vermin, enlisted the help of some f-word players from Nussbaum’s second floor to carry me outside. The fresh air was energizing and gave me a chance to escape certain doom at the feet of some exhausted student trudging back from Butler. I guess sometimes it’s necessary to give ourselves a breather, sometimes people will be kind, professors will grant extensions, and things work out.

Then again, sometimes we get eaten by Hawkma.

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