Fresh frosh arriving on campus

If you haven’t yet had a totally normal, non-awkward social interaction with anything on this campus, this byline can be your first one: what’s up! Welcome to Columbia, 2021! As move-in continues and you begin to settle in, you may realize that making friends can be an annoying process. Asking people their name & origin will soon get old, and instead you’ll want to know stuff like whether they’ve ever looked at their asshole in a mirror. Fear not. Until you find those people, we’ll be your people. When you see/hear/do anything ridiculous, send it over to (or use our anonymous form). (Also, yes, at least one of us has looked at their asshole in a mirror.)

Today’s Highlights:

  • Columbia College Assembly and LitHum, 9-11:30am: Deantini will throw your first LitHum class of the semester after first making you all recite an honor code that you’ll totally adhere to. While these are technically two separate events on the schedule, they will almost certainly blur together.
  • Columbia Engineering Assembly, 9-10:30am: Dean Boyce will tell you about your life for the next four years as an engineering student. This one is an hour shorter than CC’s, so just go. It’s all you’re required to do today.

One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Take some JJ’s chicken strips for the road. JJ’s has some weird rules about taking food to-go, so you’ll probably have to sneak some out at some point. Just throw them in your bag/pocket and no one will notice. There’s nothing like finding a forgotten chicken tender on your person after a long day in Brooklyn or Butler. Practice self love.

From The Archives: We’ve spent 12 hours in Toms, 1020, and hopefully, one day, we’ll spend 12 hours in Duane Reade too.

Chirp via Creative Commons <3