Sequels are always just a touch too early and never as good as the original. This is BakedBaked Goods 2: The Sequel. This week’s goodies are slutty brownies…
Welcome back to the second installment of BakedBaked Goods. This week was a bit more chaotic. You see, dear reader, Bwog Staffer thought it would be a good idea to expand the baking group, and by “expand” she meant invite two more people into her very weirdly shaped suite: Brooks and BBA. The names will not be explained. Additionally, it’s important to note that last week’s guests, Bwog Staffer’s colleague (now will be called Spec Editor) was in attendance, but Uncle Sam had a date, causing her to miss this interesting night.
Now, as the All-Seeing-And-All-Knowing Bwog that I am, I will share the secrets of what happened this Wednesday night.
- To start the night, Bwog Staffer stayed in her physics lab for the full four hours, but didn’t seem to finish her lab. (+1 Stress Culture)
- Bwog Staffer walked her physics friend home to Plimpton and met Brooks there. (+2 Barnard Baddie, +1 Hot Girl Walk)
- After discussing their semi-shitty weeks, Bwog Staffer and Brooks decided to do some shopping for the real baked goods at a small shop on the corner of 108th Street and Amsterdam. (+1 Baking, –1 Bank Account, +1 Hot Girl Walk)
- Then, due to their shitty weeks, Bwog Staffer and Brooks decided, outside their wholesome shop, to bake more than they’ve ever baked before. (+3 Baking, –1 Stress Culture)
- Spec Editor, during this time, was practicing some self care and actually getting the necessary items for the baked goods. (+1 Responsibility)
- Bwog Staffer and Brooks began to feel the effects of baking and proceeded to show up 15 minutes late to their own event. (–1 Responsibility)
- Spec Editor baked and then dictated that the group must begin baking as it would be a bad idea to bake while baked. (+1 Responsibility)
- What Spec Editor didn’t know was that Bwog Staffer and Brooks were already pretty baked. (–1 Responsibility)
Sorry to stop the Night’s Highlights like this, but it’s time for the…
Slutty Brownies Run Down
- First up: Ingredients. Bwog Staffer didn’t think they needed a recipe, but Spec Editor found an Instagram Reel that explained how to make them. All that was needed?
- One unit of cookie dough
- One box of Oreos
- One box of brownie mix (and the necessary ingredients for this)
- Next up: Directions. Here’s what happened:
- Make the brownie mix as directed on the box while the cookie dough thaws.
- Use a 9×9 pan and create an even spread of the cookie dough on the bottom.
- Place nine Oreos on top of the cookie dough.
- Pour the brownie batter on top of the Oreos.
- Pop the slutty brownies into the oven and wait an absurd amount of time for them to fully bake. Unfortunately even though I am an All-Seeing-And-All-Knowing Bwog, I do not know how long the slutty brownies were baking for. However, if you, my dear reader, are planning to recreate this recipe, I recommend just sticking a fork in the slutty brownies to see if they are just as fully baked as you are.
Back to the highlights.
Night’s Highlights, Again
- As the slutty brownies were baking, the group decided to join them, baking themselves again. (+1 Baking, –1 Responsibility)
- That’s when BBA joined them, his excuse being dance practice and homework. (+1 Responsibility)
- Immediately after joining them, BBA baked. (+1 Baking)
- Hungry, the group ate the rest of the Oreos, and Bwog Staffer and Brooks went to Morton William’s to pick up some ice cream, going on a 30 minute campus walk while out. (+1 Hot Girl Walk)
- By the time they returned, the slutty brownies were done, and the group ate them in about ten minutes. (+1 Munchies)
- After realizing that they were using the ice cream to make the brownies less sweet, the group realized that this was time to clean up and go home. (+2 Responsibility, +3 Hot Girl Walk)
Overall, adding all the points gained and lost over the course of the night, Baking and Hot Girl Walk tied with +6 points, causing an immediate overtime competition: Baking, trying to be everyone’s favorite, stayed in the group’s system for an extended period of time. This, however, backfired as the group had 8 am lectures to attend, losing Baking four points, pushing Hot Girl Walk to the first place position, winning the night!
What should this teach everyone? Hot Girl Walks are the way to live. Whether you are spending the night with some friends, going downtown to Phebe’s, or making your way over to Amity, make sure you incorporate a Hot Girl Walk into the night and a tasty snack for when you get hungry!
An interim title slide via the Bwog Archives