Yesterday, Bwog correspondent Addison Anderson brought you a critique of the facebook’s expansive features section. Today, he surveys the book’s real offering: new kids on campus! To those who entertain us with your awkward visages: we salute you. The prize for Coolest Outdoor Picture Background goes to Gabriel Schubiner‘s chain-link fence.  Campus bad boy!   […]

In which frequent Bwog contributor J.J.V Neun expounds on the importance of knowing Columbia’s most magnanimous employees. There will come a time when you just win the beer pong competition at the West End with your old, sketchy friend from high school, and after stumbling back to your John Jay dorm and collapsing into alcoholic […]

Spectator‘s orientation issue hits first-year suite floors today. Welcome back, mainstream media! Bwog missed you.  Spectator Editor-in-Chief imparts sage advice, predicts the future List advocates sex, drinking, plaigiarism, theft, dropping out, skipping class, almost failing Jake Olson fights the good fight How do you like your Spec articles…Spicy or Mild?          

In which Bwog apprises you of news important and not.  Gore? Over. Clinton? Not a chance. But his highness Jeffrey “I’m a rock star” Sachs? Hell yes! This man doesn’t even need to declare a candidacy to run for president–with fans like these, he could end up Commander in Chief by write-in without so much […]

Two freshman boys, feet submerged in an inch of standing water on South Lawn: “Sandals were a bad choice.” “Dude! That is SO the name of the next facebook group we’re making!”

For all you needy first-years that want to get in with your R.A., heed the words of Resident Advisor alumnus Zachary Bendiner. Or be damned!  Ahoy, nubile class of 2010 !   As you endure the harrowing pop of your collegiate cherry, remember that you are never alone. When you are blubbering over your B+ […]

Welcome to Columbia—let the self-recrimination begin! Seriously, if we can posit one common thread throughout a student body that is diverse in just about every conceivable dimension, it is that we all overthink things. Debates between eating dinner at Deluxe or the Heights will take half an hour; whether to major in History or Poli […]

In which Bwog contributor Addison Anderson cracks open the glossy pre-yearbook destined for dust collection on shelves everywhere. For this article to succeed, people to actually open up the 2010 Facebook handed out to every freshman.  So, upperclassmen: steal a copy, and start browsing for hot-from-the-neck-up first-years.  I found twenty-six, although my number might be […]

You’ve got to hand it to the Orientation Leaders, who finished a long day of hauling first-years’ junk in the rain with an even longer-feeling and relentlessly peppy assembly tonight. Shouting NSOP…RED HOT ad nauseam after telling a group of freshmen everything there is to know about everything takes more fortitude than Bwog can muster. […]

It’s your first day at Columbia.  Mom and Dad just drove back to New Jersey, and you are ready to celebrate your newfound freedom.  But wait.  Shit!  You’ve heard that Columbia is an awful party school.  They say the only fun thing to do here is cocaine, but you don’t want to put anything in […]

In which Bwog allows you to feel like you were there without actually having to sit through it. Chris Colombo, Dean of Student Affairs: lived up to his Sopranos-worthy name by welcoming all ’10-ers to the family. Cindy Horowitz, head of NSOP: do we even have a pre-law major?  Sweet, but why is there a […]

    Move in day at John Jay…      

You made it! You’re finally away from your parents, living in New York, and going to a really good school. Unfortunately, you probably didn’t get into Columbia based on your social skills. Your 100+ Facebook friends notwithstanding, Bwog thinks you could use a few pointers on socializing for your freshman year. Here, then, is some […]

First years know this, but you upperclassmen might as well come along for the ride: Bed Bath and Beyond is offering a 10% discount for all Columbia students today (Monday) with I.D. from 9 AM to 10 PM. They’re even shepherding you to the store with a free shuttle!  Looks like it’s time to get […]

So have you finished those first six books yet? No? Bwog’s resident epic poetess Anna Corke gives you the quick and dirty version. Now don’t say we never gave you anything. Book I: In Which Our Hero Loses His Woman, Cries to Mommy, Rages. Book II: In Which Zeus Lies; Agamemnon Tries to Chicken Out […]