Friday Daily Editor, Brigid Cromwell knows the only thing better than premarital sex is antibacterial soap.

We know that double life is hard (in more ways than one) but that doesn’t excuse this kind of behavior. Just follow these six simple rules and free us from our torment.

Betsy Ladyzhets’ towels have not been fully dry for several days.

This underclassman Bwogger reminisces about the good old days of Columbia, according to stories that she’s heard from upperclassmen.

Check out Bwog’s take on what the hell people are trying to communicate by strutting around campus wearing non-Columbia merch.

Leo, a Bwogger no stranger to calamity, takes you through another Columbia Horror Story set in….LERNER!

Staff Writer Owen Fitzgerald-Diaz reports on some troubling possibilities concerning Columbia’s statues.

In choosing a candidate for the upcoming election, look up natal charts and not policy. Senior Bwogger, Leo, has provided you with not only each candidate’s zodiac sign but their Myers Briggs’s Test Personality Type (MBTI), Hogwarts House as well as which Columbia Dorm they *likely* are. 

Bwog Staffer Julia U. is angered over elevator behavior, and you probably would agree too. 

Disclaimer: Don’t follow this advice if you don’t want your GPA to fall.

Ah, class registration time. If you haven’t filled up your schedule by now with requirements, congratulations on not being a STEM major! Here are some suggestions for classes taught by professors who’ve been around forever and really know their stuff, brought to you by the Bwog staff. 

Drunkenly written via Notes app in a downtown club, we give you: the saga of the Mattress Mogul.

In the spirit of tradition, a Bwogger by the name of [redacted] goes undercover in Columbia’s class of 2023 group chat to see what the youths are up to.

A Kafka-esque tale from senior staffer Levi Cohen.

Was every ArtHum and MusicHum class completely full before your 1 PM registration time?  No need to fear; Bwog’s got some classes we think you should take instead.