Major Declaration time is here! And earlier this week, the B&W posted its first ever “Disillusioned Majors Guide,” advising students to avoid History, Classics, Comp. Lit, and nearly everything else. There is only one proper recourse for the liberal arts major: don’t major in anything. At all. (Note: This was not included in the upcoming […]

For real. Information Session Thursday, March 2, 6:30 p.m. RSVP online at The School of Continuing Education website.

Overheard after Columbia’s ten-point victory over Brown in Friday’s basketball game: “Too bad for them you can’t pass/fail in basketball.” –Gautam Hans–

Heard outside Math, a young woman explaining to a friend how a professor just didn’t get it: “No, I was like, ‘you don’t understand the difference between a B- and a C+. If you give me a B-, my life is NOT over.”

It’s academia’s equivalent to The 50 Most Beautiful People. And it’s put out by that most discerning of polemicists, David Horowitz. With all the appropriate pageantry, he presents us withThe 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America. Danger is sexy! And guess what? Columbia is the sexiest! Nine of the Dr. Dangers teach at Columbia. Eric […]

Word has it that it costs the university 15 cents in used energy every time you press the handicapped button to open the doors into John Jay or Butler. Tuition for a full year is about $40,000, which equals 266,666 door openings. If you figure that it takes the door 5 seconds to open and […]

An excerpt: WHAT A GREAT IDEA! We provide a concept that will allow anyone with sufficient life experience to obtain a fully verifiable university diploma. Bachelor, Master or even a Doctorate. Think of it, within a month you too could be a college graduate. Many people share the same frustration, they are all doing the […]

Undergraduate history theses were originally due April 15, until the department realized that day was Good Friday. The due date is now April 13 … which is the first day of Passover. Good job, goys.

A girl spent the majority of today’s Introduction To Photography class ignoring the lecture, choosing instead to peruse Facebook photo albums on her laptop. Next period: Introduction to Irony.