It’s finals week and you know what that means. We’ve lampooned the inanity of Butler before, but this year we’ve adapted Butler Bingo around those closest (literally) to you: Butler Archetypes. Here’s how to play: sit in Butler. Look at the game board. Scroll over each square to read its description. Look around you. When […]

You’ve seen it before, and you’ll see it again: an elusive group of Columbians start to go a liiiiittle bit crazy during finals season. At this point, we’re pretty sure everyone’s just trying to comply with tradition. In any case, it makes for some quality overseens. The latest chapter, for your procrastinating pleasure:

The Butler gods have spoken. Starting next Tuesday, this hallowed building’s fifth and sixth floors will be open 24/7, thereby inviting 170 more students to join their sleepless comrades on Milstein floors two, three, and four. But remember friends, this is a trial run, so if you really want more 24-hour space in Butler, you’ve […]

It’s finals season—time to get serious. But not for these guys. Give Penis Pundit Matt Schantz a casual head nod and maybe decide to stay for a while as he crafts a masterful portrait of those Butler Archetypes who just can’t seem to stop dicking around.  They’ll come bearing a few muffled grunts, perhaps a […]

With less than two weeks of classes left, chances are you’ve found yourself Butler-bound, day after day. And that elite species of Blue Java-loving Stacks inhabitants—known to the more general public as the Butler Archetypes—are by your side the whole time. Rest your head on Conor Skelding’s very soft shoulder as he reminds you why that’s […]

Louis XIV may have sported some pretty high stilettos (thanks for the cocktail party fodder, Core Curriculum), but at least he had the courtesy not to stomp around the Ref Room. Heel Hater Meriam Raouf profiles that Butler Archetype whose sharp clicks down the marble hallway are turning your hair gray.  It’s Sunday night. You’ve […]

Welcome back from Thanksgiving Break—if you were one of the fortunate Columbians who left campus, that is. If you weren’t, you probably tried to steer clear of Butler. But these guys didn’t; join hands with Amateur Expert Anthropologist Claire Sabel as she paints a very pretty picture of The Long Weekender.  Unable to return home for the […]

The ever-glorious Reference Room turned off its overhead lighting yesterday, leaving only desk lamps to sustain the loyal inhabitants. How or why the lights went out remains unclear, but the asian gloves-wearing circulation desk guy popped in and fixed it around 10 pm. The lights humorously went out again about an hour later, and they […]

You may be getting ready to forsake Butler and head home for break, but there are a few individuals who would never dream of abandoning its marble walls and fancy woodwork: the Butler Archetypes. Lend your ear (eyes?) to Aurally Annoyed Bijan Samareh as he profiles those study buddies who stick out like a giant snow […]

Sean Zimmermann reports from last night’s ESC meeting. Sustainability Representative Will Cybriwsky explained that unused alcohol from Casino Night, including unopened bottles, had to be poured down the drain because the university’s alcohol license does not allow the university to keep unused alcohol after an event. The council is investigating how new policies could be […]

Bleary-eyed and ready to start ranting to the nice ladies in Butler Cafe, you enter the library at the crack of dawn (okay, 10 am) to start work on that project you really, really didn’t mean to procrastinate on. But wait—what’s that smell? Is it possible that someone got here even earlier than YOU, and […]

It’s been a long weekend—one you spent in Butler, no doubt. Re-join us as we continue to profile those library regulars who spent it with you. In this installment of Butler Archetypes, Carpal Tunnel Victim Conor Skelding takes a close look at just how many notifications the guy next to him has.  He’ll give up […]

It’s that weird point in the semester when your midterms are mostly over, and it’d be too soon to start studying for finals. In other words, it’s the perfect time to take a break from Butler, right? Wrong—for The Professional, at least. Join Amateur Anthropologist Brian Wagner as he chronicles yet another Butler Archetype. Color-coded […]

If you’re one of the many who has to hit up Butler instead of Senior Night, you should know that you’re not alone. In fact, you never are; wandering the halls of floor 6, chilling in The Stacks, standing in front of you in line for coffee—the many Butler Archetypes we’ve come to know and […]

Sick of studying all day and night? So is the star of our most recent Butler Archetype—but, like, actually. Read on as Anna Bahr investigates whether her table mate has the Bubonic Plague, or just the world’s stuffiest nose…  It’s the night before that one really important midterm—you’re already enormously uncomfortable. A continuous chorus of sniffles and […]