With pictures snapping, campus safety patrolling and students and professors promenading en masse, this afternoon’s convocation began with all the fanfare of a red carpet affair.  After brief introductions given by Dean Kevin Shollenberger and Dehui Kong, CC ’11 and NSOP Coordinator in Chief,  faculty celebs took the podium to address students and parents of the incoming freshman class. 

Despite the glare of the jumbotrons and the buzz of loudspeakers, Michele Moody-Adams and Feniosky Pena-Mora, rookie deans of the college, did not deliver the blockbuster performances their flashy crimson and gold robes promised.  Pena-Mora filled the audience in on the history of SEAS (did you know Michael I. Pupin, CC 1883, is not only the namesake of Pupin Hall but also the inventor of the Pupin Coil?) and Moody-Adams encouraged students to take risks, but not too many and not too foolishly. 

But it was President Bollinger, that inveterate crowd-pleaser, who stole the show. With well-timed witticisms and an equally eloquent exhortation, he reminded the audience that if there’s one thing that never depreciates in a recession, it’s the inestimable currency of a Columbia education.  So tell your mom and dad not to worry about the interest rates on your student loans, dear frosh; PrezBo’s got your back. Photos from the sunny afternoon after the jump. Read more…

At some point on the first day of Orientation, a sudden realization hits many a first-year: there are a lot of new people here (and one or two of them are hot!). Winning the friend lottery from this mass of people requires mastery of multiple tactics:

Talk to random strangers.  Within a few short weeks, Columbians will start avoiding eye contact in the elevator just like real New Yorkers.

Get to know your floor.  You can either partake in late-night antics, or you can awkwardly maneuver past Super Smash Brothers and/or Project Runway marathons on the way to the bathroom.

Join clubs.  Birds of a feather flock together, and in a big school, it’s sometimes the only way to find them. It’s considerably more accurate than clicking your interests on Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook, meet people in real life.  Just because you and your online friends both love Wall-E and hate Juno doesn’t make you soul mates.

But do friend the people you meet in real life.  Last names are comforting, and will clarify your phone’s address book.

Complain about the Iliad.  Everyone describes their passion for the Great Books in their Columbia application, and everyone still scrambles to finish, with limited success.

Ditto for John Jay. But make sure to go there with potential friends – nothing rubs in homesickness like eating alone.



Don’t mention the SAT.  The U.S. News rankings will inevitably come up, and things can only go downhill from there.

Remember that everyone is as socially awkward as you are.  Even if they’re pretending not to be.

2013, you’ve just arrived on campus, and we know it’s rough out there. Orientation is awkward. You don’t know these people. You have to play Two Truths and A Lie and decide what color M&M you would be. “Wait, blue?! ZOMG, me too!”

So while you desperately try to settle in, consider what your comrades at other colleges are being forced to do for their orientations. You are not alone.

• The kids at Brown, who are probably engaging in their daily nude roll in the mud right about now, are grouped into tables for certain meals according to interests. There’s a ‘Would You Rather?’ table, one for Computer Science & Gaming, and worse still, one for Philosophy. Brown also hosts a First-Year (hey, that’s what we call them!) Festival, where 2013-ers will have the chance to “speed meet” their classmates and then sing karaoke in front of them.  Plus, the “stalk Emma Watson” game might grow stale around Wednesday.

• Freshmen at Wesleyan can but pray that this year’s Orientation will include a few highlights from 2012: a square dance and group skit performances, complete with multiple rounds of rehearsals.

• NYU’s Tisch started off Orientation with a bang: on their first night in the big city, Tisch students were treated to an activity they will soon find as natural as breathing: attending a loft party! Instead of a deserted warehouse in Bushwick, however, NYU is holding its Freshman ‘Loft Party’ in the slightly more upscale Rosenthal Pavilion on Washington Square South.

• Carleton College introduces new students to the library with a Clue-inspired murder mystery. Actually, who are we kidding, that sounds kinda awesome.
  

• Johns Hopkins may well take the cake on excruciating orientation activities. For starters, there’s a ‘Pajama Jam Dance Party.’ Next up, the most insanely awful Orientation activity we found: an obstacle course titled ‘Stay the Course: The Beer Goggles Challenge.’ Let the description speak for itself: Don’t think alcohol can impair your abilities? Take the beer goggles challenge and navigate an obstacle course wearing the infamous “drunk goggles”. Can you find your way B.A.C home?

As if AlcoholEdu wasn’t punishment enough. Say goodbye to your parents, and be happy you’re not in Baltimore.

- ECS

As commenters pointed out in the previous post, another August has seen Koronet’s up its jumbo slice price by $0.25.

Judging from last year’s chart, it appears Koronet’s is continuing the $0.25/year trend through these economic times. Then again, as one commenter put it last year, “i’m usually so drunk when i eat koronets that they could raise the price to ten bucks a slice and i wouldn’t notice.” Not a bad business plan.

- Photo by Peter Labuza

Earlier this afternoon, the coordinators over at NSOP finally released their schedule book, a hefty pamphlet full of some orientation activities and some more advertising. The breakdown, day-by-day:

• Monday: Convocation, OL meetings, Class Act/College Night, blah, blah, etc.
• Tuesday: This year’s Lit Hum first class teacher? Gareth Williams. SEAS, on the other hand, gets the hodgepodge of “Perspectives in Science.” Score one for CC. The night’s activity for CC and SEAS is “Night Out with Your Floor,” while Barnard has the second of three “Community Nights” for floormate bonding.
  
• Wednesday: Under1Roof sessions begin. The evening is occupied by Community Forum, where first-years will “experience the campus community you now share.” Both events’ lessons will be equally forgotten by Friday. And meal plans start working.
  
• Thursday pre-dinner: The centerpiece of the day is “Health LIVE,” which includes “a hilarious look into the lives of Columbia and Barnard first-years trying to hang out, hook up, and fit in,” followed by small group discussions of “what consent is and how we give and get it.” Hilarious, indeed.
  
• Thursday night: Both big events of the week are shoved together into one night. First up are three hours at the Central Park Zoo to “unleash your inner animal at a dance party with your classmates.” Then CC and SEAS get a nightcap: a “Michael Jackson-themed after party, where we’ll help you cram for registration.” After all, deciding which electives to take is so much easier with visions of pedophiles dancing in your head.
• Friday: The class councils hold info sessions (insert ego joke here), and, if you have to stay on campus, there’s an Open Mic Night.
  
• Saturday: Lots of walking tours. First-years, take one that’s far away from campus – it’ll be your longest city trip for the next four years.
• Sunday: More walking tours, and student group meet and greets, plus the Performance Showcase.
  
• Monday, September 8th: Even more walking tours, and JJ’s hosts a party at the end of the night.
  

So, there you have NSOP 2009: no Blaze, no stand-up comedy, and no concert on the Steps. War on Fun, how we hate thee.

Since opening last year, the J-School cafe area hasn’t exactly been overwhelmed, as students have been waiting for a more formal establishment to open and/or thought the room was entirely computer-generated. Starting Monday, though, look for students to at least give the space a second chance, as the owners of Campo will be opening a new restaurant there.

According to J-school officials, the restaurant–which does not have an official name yet, though Brad’s Coffee House or Brad’s Brew are mentioned as possible candidates–will be open from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. on weekdays and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekends (broader hours are “under discussion”). Victuals will include “toasted sandwiches, salads, hot dogs, milk shakes and superior brand coffee,” with pricing still being finalized before Monday’s opening. Wifi will also be available inside for the internet-surfing gourmet, and “the vendors hope to offer the delivery during operation hours and full catering.”

Unlike Blue Java or Ferris Booth, the restaurant will not be run by Columbia, which, as one Blue and White editor put it, “is like democracy coming to a country under one-party rule.” Democracy and milkshakes…delicious. 

- JCD

Penn may have bested Columbia yet again in the U.S. News rankings, but one of their longtime teachers and administrators has been tempted to Morningside.  President Bollinger announced today that Kristine Billmyer, Penn’s Executive Director of the College of Liberal and Professional Studies and Associate Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences, will be the new Dean of the Faculty of Continuing Education, effective November 1, 2009. She replaces Peter Awn, who has been the interim dean of the school for three years while also overseeing GS.

Billmyer received her B.A. in Psychology and Spanish Literature from Vassar College, her M.Ed. in English Education from Temple University, and her PhD in Educational Linguistics from Penn, where she has served since 1987.  As Bollinger boasts, she is “a nationally recognized scholar in her field” who has “published widely on cross-cultural variation in language use and the acquisition of sociolinguistic competence by second language learners.”  Sociolinguistic competence, indeed.

Full email after the jump. Read more…

Three years after adopting flat screens, JJ’s Place has gotten another technological upgrade. Student Services confirms to Bwog that JJ’s Place has now added wireless internet access, along with “some structural renovations.” No doubt it’ll be handy for first-years taking a break from half-finished homework to Google useful JJ’s information, like “how much fried food before my heart stops.”

- JCD

Fresh-faced 2013ers smile for the camera after arriving for COOP.

- Photo by Char Smullyan

The announcement Monday that swine flu could hospitalize up to 1.8 million Americans has sparked a new flurry of news hysteria over the virus. Even before the announcement, universities were busy preparing for the virus in the fall. Now it’s Columbia’s turn: in an email to students from Student Life Dean Kevin Shollenberger, GS Interim Dean Scott Halvorson, and Health Services VP Samuel Seward, the school outlines its plans for the virus. 

Like other schools, most of the steps outlined in the email are education-oriented. “Educational fliers are posted throughout campus and in the residence halls,” reads the email, “and alcohol-based hand sanitizer or soap dispensers are provided in public gathering places such as dining areas, computer labs and customer service desks.” As for vaccinations, Health Services plans advertise its free flu shots widely when students return, and promises to share information regarding any H1N1 vaccine “immediately.”

As for anyone who comes down with the disease, “if you have influenza-like illness, such as persistent fever combined with muscle aches or fatigue, please remember it is important for you to avoid attending classes and public activities until you are well again.” Health Services even recommends students who can should commute home. Full email after the jump Read more…

In these economic times, we all want to add that extra line to the CV. President Bollinger’s version of this appears to be upping his profile slightly at the New York Federal Reserve, where today he was named as deputy chair of its board of directors.

Bollinger has been a member of the New York Fed board since 2007, and he will be serving under Denis Hughes, who is also president of the New York chapter of the AFL-CIO. Bollinger is also on the board of several other prestigious companies, including the Washington Post Company and the Royal Shakespeare Company.

As for the why, Wall Street Journal deputy editor David Wessel called the Hughes and Bollinger appointments an “image change” for the New York Fed on his Twitter feed. Perhaps it’s the dashing hair?

Photoshop credit to “D. Sion G.” 

Benjamin Franklin once famously said that the only things certain in life are death and taxes (a rather fatalistic saying for someone who got so much tail). In the world of college rankings, one might add, “And Harvard will always be first, and Penn will always be inexplicably overrated.” Yes, it’s this year’s edition of the US News and World Report college rankings, and Columbia’s held onto its #8 ranking, while ditching Duke to #10. Other movement from last year was minimal, with Princeton moving from 2nd to 1st, Penn moving into a tie for fourth with Stanford (huh?), and Cornell falling below Hopkins. Brown remains bottom among Ivy League schools. The top 20:

1. Harvard/Princeton

3. Yale

4. Caltech/MIT/Stanford/UPenn

8. Columbia/UChicago

10. Duke

11. Dartmouth

12. Northwestern/WashU

14. Johns Hopkins

15. Cornell

16. Brown

17. Emory/Rice/Vanderbilt

20. Notre Dame

Columbia administrators are probably rubbing their hands in anticipation of next year: because these rankings are based on 2008 data, the past year’s financial trouble for many top schools (which, comparatively, Columbia escaped) will only be taken into account next year. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise anyone to find a financially incompetent school on top again – US News has its ways.

The Columbia Lions football team has made the national media as extras for a GQ magazine feature on ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews. Andrews is mostly known for being “that girl” on the sidelines during ESPN college football and basketball coverage. The photoshoot is attracting extra attention because Andrews was filmed by a peephole perv earlier in the summer, leading some to question the timing of the photo spread (though shooting took place in April).

As for the Columbia kids, they appear to have been rolling around in some very thick mud. How glamorous. We’d identify the specific players for you, but, well, we’ve only really been at this sports thing for a year, and we still have to rely on numbers. As for sexiness, it’s an okay effort by the football team, but the ladies women and gays man-lovers on staff still give the advantage to the swim team.

In case you missed the Saturday Times, or don’t read those ancient things your parents call “newspapers,” receiving an extensive profile was none other than the new director of Miller Theater, Melissa Smey. 

Well, at least there’s an article partly about Ms. Smey, because much of the profile focuses on the legacy of the previous director and Smey’s mentor, George Steel, who left last fall for the Dallas Opera after a successful tenure. Alan Brinkley (yes, he’s still provost) told the Times, “Miller Theater over the last 8 to 10 years has become identified with the kind of new music that George Steel brought to it,” and later added “We have great confidence in Melissa that she’ll be able to carry this on.” So, you know, no pressure.

Perhaps of more interest to students are Smey’s listening habits, which apparently include indie rock poster children like the Yeah, Yeah Yeahs, the Arcade Fire, and that indie afro-pop group everyone used to talk about. Smey is apparently working on bringing “cool indie bands” to Miller to attract more students. Hey, it could work…for one type of student.

Photo: Columbia University

Do you have what it takes to be an NSOP coordinator? Only if you can follow rules and procedures, as posted in the SGO. 

Several questions:

•  ”Be nice to gatekeepers” – who are these gatekeepers, and what magical land are they guarding?
  
• “No skirts that Deans would not approve” – how does NSOP test this criteria?
• “Underwear is not outerwear” – did someone forget that underwear goes inside the pants?

We hope these are sorted before Orientation.

- Photo by JNW