d(free cupcakes)/dx = delicious

ESC invites the mathematically-inclined folk to enjoy some free food from 11:30 am til’ 2 pm today in Lerner Piano Lounge (no word on whether or not it’s strictly SEAS-only). The event, a celebration of SEAS-pride, boasts Mel’s Burgers, cupcakes, T-Shirts, and water bottles. And probably also a handful of R.I.P. Gateway jokes.

Accompanying image to humanities major’s idea of a math joke via Wikimedia Commons.

Sure, Apple might be tracking your every step (realistically, from Butler to the Halal cart on Broadway, and back to Butler again), but at least your phone doesn't look like this anymore!

Much to the surprise of local residents, Columbia signed a community agreement regarding Inwood construction. Said residents aren’t too happy—the agreement was finalized without their input. One local questions whether or not Columbia really intends to be a “good neighbor.” Hey! Some of us do make really good banana bread… (Spec)

In light of Apple’s plans to release software in the next few weeks that reduces the amount of location data stored on iPhones, Steve Jobs defends location tracking practices. And also the HUMANCENTiPAD, for obvious reasons. (WSJ, Gawker)

Earlier this week, a Brooklyn Brewery began selling beer-scented soap. No, this isn’t the premise of an upcoming 30 Rock episode—it’s actually happening. Next up: Spicy Special scented perfume. (Gothamist)

The “Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, Part 2″ trailer is fiiiiinally here. Not that we care, or anything. We’ll be too busy watching silent French films about art, and then engaging in healthy debate with our peers. But we did hear from a friend of a friend that the final battle scene looks like it’ll be pretty sweet. (Buzzfeed)

And on a serious note, we were saddened to hear that more than 170 people have died due to the deadly storms and tornadoes that hit the South Wednesday and early today. Alabama seems to have taken the worst hit, accounting for at least 128 of those deaths. (LATimes)

The thing that Soulja Boy wants to kiss you thru via Wikimedia Commons.

Don't miss out on all the fun!

If you are over the age of three, and want to go to Commencement, you need a ticket. Graduating students are only allowed to claim four, and you have to pick them up in person. How surprising that Student Affairs has a centralized and sensible allocation process! Anyway, back in 2008, ESC set up this handy site to exchange Commencement tickets, if you need more than four, were unable to pick them up, or want to give away tickets you’re not going to use. Essentially a customized Craigslist, the site enables you to post extra tickets if you have ‘em, or get in touch with those people if you need ‘em.

Now would also be an expedient time to remind Ye Olde Seniors that tomorrow is the last day to pick up your tickets! They will be available from 4:30 to 7:30 pm in 401 Lerner.

Photo by Hans Hyttinen

Columbia, let’s be a community. Let’s show the collective action problem who’s boss! Let’s rate our professors on CULPA. Don’t you see that when you review, and other people review, everybody mutually pools their experience?

What…you’re not a chicken or something, right?

We continue to respect our heritage/amorous affair with our mother-magazine, The Blue & White by posting each issue of the magazine online. The latest issue, available this week around campus, is a cornucopia of delights: an interview with Dean Peter Awn; the quixotic quest for a Quidditch team; and a discussion of the institution of the Columbia presidency. This month, magazine Senior Editor and Bwog Editor Claire Sabel (with additional reporting by staff writer and Bwog Friday Editor Peter Sterne) reflects on Columbia’s year in the headlines.

Illustration by Louise McCune

Late December was, unfortunately, an auspicious time for student reporting. The NYPD’s undercover drug bust and the David Epstein incest case had shaken up Columbia, splattering the University’s name across the national media for stories that were to varying degrees degrading and embarrassing. Come spring, Columbia was in a prime position to bear the brunt of the press’s disapproval over another highly sensitive issue: questioning whether those academic institutions that had taken a stand against the military’s discrimination should be expected to formally engage with them after the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

One expects Columbia’s critics would be ready to mobilize these scandals from the fall; contesting the obligation to invite ROTC back to campus could easily have been presented as further evidence Columbia students and faculty were over-privileged and amoral. While the attention garnered by the debate over military engagement was certainly unflattering at times, it was remarkably untainted by residual malevolence from the slew of highly-publicized scandals. The Operation Ivy League coverage was largely a class narrative, and stereotyped Columbia as an organization of arrogant elites, but never referred to Columbia’s outspoken politics or legacy of activism either. A close examination of the way Columbia was portrayed in the media during these two dramatic spells leads to some telling conclusions about what our university has come to stand for beyond the bubble.

Read more…

Alma Has an LDAP Entry Too

Many of us are aware of the Columbia Directory, which gives that strange grad student you met at 1020 last night the ability to look up which undergraduate dorm room you live in or allows potential employers to find out that you’re not actually an anthroposophy major. What you might not realize is that this Columbia Directory, combined with another public LDAP directory, also maintained by Columbia, allows for a lot of information investigation.

If you log in and query Columbia’s LDAP directory, you can view a striking amount of information about yourself—for example, departmental affiliations, electronic permissions, all the classes you’ve ever taken, possibly the ID number encoded into your student card, and more. We’ve built a tool for you to check this out yourself:

Look Yourself Up

(this link and most of the rest in this post open in a fancy lightbox container)

But even without being logged in, there’s an awful lot of public information available. (Ever wonder how the ListServ hoodlums spammed the whole university?) We’ve decided to similarly look at everybody’s directory entry, but instead use it for your curiosity and compile a few goofy statistics. We’d also like to take this time to remind you now that it’s never too late to remove yourself from the directory.

Most Popular CC Majors (and most common names in that major)

1. 1279 None
   (most common name is Andrew)
2. 539 Economics
   (most common name is Michael)
3. 331 Biological Sciences
   (most common name is Sarah)
4. 305 Political Science
   (most common name is Alexander)
5. 263 History
   (most common name is Michael)
6. 213 English & Comparative Literature
   (most common name is Rebecca)
7. 171 Psychology
   (most common name is Megan)
8. 117 Anthropology
   (most common name is Sarah)
9. 99 Philosophy
   (most common name is Adam)
10. 99 Mathematics
    (most common name is Alexander)

See more majors and names…

Most Popular First Names

Jump past the break to see more awesome stats…

Minglin'

Today, from 4 to 6 pm, Prezbo held a “Garden Party” to celebrate 30 years of Community Impact tutoring children and adults, conducting health outreach, and generally working to improve the community. It was pretty swanky. Waiters who could have doubled as J-Crew models served hors d’œuvres of all kinds. The duck-and-apricot satchels titillated the taste buds of the well-dressed guests. The lemonade “tasted like skittles.” When one Bwogger asked for water, the waiter responded, “Sparkling or still? Lemon or lime?” The event demonstrated Columbia’s ability to fulfill the most demanding, Gossip-Girly Ivy League fantasy.

It seemed an egregious waste of tuition dollars, but nobody on the receiving end complained…

The event took place in PrezBo’s garden, which lies in the shadow of Wien. Fifty or so CI members and administrators gather on some really dank grass. About 30 minutes in, PrezBo gave a short speech about CI; he was followed by several CI operatives. After some nice words by all parties, PrezBo took the mic again addressing stressed undergrads, “I know this is a tough time for you. Relax, eat, and take as much food as you can carry.”

After that, everyone returned to mingling and the waiters served more skittles-lemonade. Out of nowhere, PrezBo’s dog showed up! PrezBone, far less classy than his dandruff-free master, ate scraps off the ground. PrezBone acted just like any other puppy, and honestly behaved below his station.

This event was classy as fuck, even if a little ironic. Washing down duck-and-apricot satchels with sparkling water and lime while hobnobbing with PrezBo in a multi-million dollar mansion overlooking Harlem and Morningside Park felt a little strange—especially considering it’s a program that works to help our neighbors.

Finals approach. This means you’ll be staying up later. You (hopefully) know both these things. So does Columbia, apparently. With this in mind, here are just a few place which have extended their hours for heavily sighing, red-eyed scholars. Mention any we missed in the comments.

• HamDel will be open 24/7, instead of the regular 24/6
• Business and Econ library open ’til midnight
• Butler Reserves open ’til midnight
• Butler Media Center open ’til midnight
• Lehman is open until 4 am

Cute kids via Wikimedia Commons

Just when you thought the lawns were yours…

Facilities is apparently covering South Field with mats of “hard, flexible plastic” that are more durable than a standard tarp. Bwog speculates that they may be attempts at damage control for Bacchanal which, due to Columbia being Columbia, has been moved to South Field.

Usin' protection.

Snoop Dogg

Bwog’s Wednesday feature, Where Art Thou?, is here to keep you posted on what’s going on in the A&E department in Morningside Heights and beyond (basically all the cool events your friends are in/on/at). If your club is bringing Snoop to Columbia, and you want it posted on Bwog, now you can make it happen! E-mail us at events@bwog.com.

Thursday

• KCST’s THE TAMING OF THE SHREW, 8pm at the Sundial. Running through Saturday. Free. Read more…

The Cool Breeze

McAC will be serving up free sno cones on Lehman Walk from 4-6 pm!

If it rains, the event will be moved to the Diana. That’s kind of funny, because if it rains then there is no point to sno cones!

Fruit punch via Wikimedia Commons

Just you and that map near the 115th Street gates by Lerner—the one you haven’t looked at since it was NSOP when your parents left through that gate and you almost started crying, kind of like when James Blunt got stoned and stared at that chick on the subway.

Pick-me-up by Mike Rady, CC ’13

Out on the sundial CURTalented is having a show. There was some music, and apparently Learned was doing stand-up! Text 99000 to vote. And you should vote, even if you know nothing about the contestants. Because it’s your duty.

CURTalented

Bwog’s resident Boy Archer Zach Kagan paid a visit to the Archery Club and learned a thing or two about shooting arrows.

Arms straight. Bow extended, resting under the chin. The string touches the nose. Muscles relax. Eyes on the target. And then: let go. The enthusiastic archers at Columbia’s Archery Club have a Zen-like philosophy when it comes to shooting. Every Monday and Wednesday from 7 until 9, Barnard’s gym is converted into a shooting range, and a diverse group of Columbians gather for target practice. They line up along the thick yellow stripe painted on the gym floor and take aim. Then a chorus of “thwacks” and the all clear is given. The archers collect their arrows embedded in targets on the other side of the gym and then line up to do it all over again.

Derek Davis is the head coach of the club, as well as the women’s varsity team. Columbia’s girl’s varsity archery team is easily the most successful athletic club at the university. Coach Davis has seen them through three gold medal championships. Last year the team placed second to their arch-(no pun intended) rival, Texas A&M by a single point. But when he isn’t training some of the world’s finest female archers, Coach Davis takes time to train anyone that might be interested at the archery club. But while Davis may be the voice of experience, his assistant coach Jonathan Huang , SEAS ’05, is more active with the club. Jon was enthralled as a child by Green Arrow comics and inspired later in life by philosophical archery books such as One Arrow, One Life. It wasn’t until two years ago that he picked up a bow and fell in love with shooting. Now it is an essential part of his life, and he is pretty damn good at it: somehow he makes hitting bull’s-eye from 60 feet away seem effortless.

Read more…

Seniors! Time is running out, and bleachers are going up! We know you’re feeling nostalgic, sitting on the steps, and soaking up the sun. Senior Wisdom is imminent, but we thought we’d give some you advice as well as receive it. Bwog once again presents (hyperlinks) the shenanigans we highly recommend getting under your belt before you leave.

• Visit every roof
• Explore the tunnels
• Take the public safety shuttle
• Get CAVAed
• Hook up with a TA
• Do a touristy NY thing
• Camp out for a night on the lawns
• Have sex in Butler
• Go downtown
• Eat a Crack Del spicy special
• Pass the swim test
• Find the Alma Mater owl
• Finally hang out with the people you’ve been making fake plans with for four years
• Watch the sun set over Riverside Park
• And/or watch the sun set from a roof or the Schapiro sky lounge
• Graduate
• Rate you professors on CULPA! Think of the children.