Author Archive

Oct

28

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Me thinking about all the cool arts events this week.

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On Campus

  • A History of Echoes Part II: Sound of Trans Freedom. This Thursday at 6 pm in Knox, check out the incredible work of Ultra-red, a group of “sound investigators” on Vogue’ology. In collaboration with the Arbert Santana Ballroom Freedom and Free School, as well as the Ballroom Archive and Oral History Project, Vogue’ology is an audio archive dedicated to and created by LGBTQ people of color in NYC, particularly those involved with the House and Ballroom Scene.
  • On Thursday night, Columbia’s School of the Arts is hosting the next segment in their Complex Issues discussion series— this time featuring esteemed playwright David Henry Hwang and director Julie Taymor, the two collaborators who have brought M.Butterfly back to life for Broadway. The discussion will be focused on issues of race, gender, sexuality, religion, and so much more in the realm of theatre. Register for a spot here!
  • A few weeks ago Bwog featured the first of Barnard’s new Here/Say series, which is a series of discussions devoted to the complex relationship between art and current issues. Monday night at 7pm is the second installment of the series, Climate. The Barnard art history and visual arts departments will be discussing how the ever changing natural world is reflected through art.

Off Campus

  • Opening on Tuesday (Halloween!) at the MoMA is Club 57: Film, Performance, and
    Art in the East Village, 1978-1983. The exhibit explores the rippling effect that Club 57 had on the NYC art and club scene in the 70’s and 80’s, particularly in the East Village. Be one of the first to check it out!
  • From November 1 to November 19, Performa 17 is taking over NYC with an incredible series of art installations exploring the relationship between humans, performance, and architecture. According to their website, “Performa is the leading organization dedicated to exploring the critical role of live performance in the history of twentieth-century art and to encouraging new directions in performance for the twenty-first century.” Head on over to their website to learn more about the individual installations and where/how you can check them out!

Oct

21

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img October 21, 201711:47 amimg 0 Comments

So this is an astronaut, still technically on Earth, walking along a ramp in the sky?

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On Campus:

  • Continuing their Cinema of Resistance series, the Maison Française is hosting a screening of The Assembly (L’Assemblée) from 6:30-9:00 pm on Tuesday night. The film, directed by Mariana Otero, is about the Nuit Debout (Arise at Night) protests of March 2016 in Paris. These protests marked the first time that a grassroots political organization was able to create a “democratic assembly” protest. The film screening will be followed by a group discussion.
  • Thursday night, stop by Miller Theatre to see Mahan Esfahani perform Goldberg Variations, the 1741 Bach aria. Esfahani will be playing harpsichord to present this beautiful classical piece. Tickets range from $35-$55, which you can buy here.
  • This Friday night in the Sulz Parlor, come listen to the Barnard-Columbia Chamber Singers perform with the Elqui Trio. The Elqui Trio is a group of musicians with South American roots whose repertoire encompasses everything from classical musical to South American folk music. Together, the singers will perform an exciting array of South American songs. The show starts at 8 pm!
  • Next weekend (Oct 27 and 28) is the Columbia University Players Annual One Act Festival. This year, the three one-act plays featured are Boy Meets Girl (a love story about two five-year-olds), Heart’s Desire (two parents wait for their daughter to return home), and Removing the Glove (a coming of age story about being left handed). You can check out the Facebook event here!

Off Campus:

  • Opening on Sunday at the MoMA PS1 is a new exhibit by Carolee Schneemann called Kinetic Painting. Schneemann’s work throughout the late 20th century has explored “subjectivity, the social construction of the female body, and the cultural biases of art history.” The exhibit features many of Schneemann’s avant-garde paintings from the 1950’s to the 2000’s. The exhibit will be featured at the MoMA PS1 through early March.
  • Opening today at Postmasters in Chinatown is Serkan Özkaya’s We Will Wait, a reinterpretation of Marcel Duchamp’s Étant donnés. Posmasters calls Marcel Duchamp’s Étant donnés “an elaborately detailed and beautifully disturbing room—encompassing tableau, which could be peered upon through two peepholes in a wooden door, enclosing the illuminated scene within.” Özkaya has created a replica of Étant donnés, which you can find at Postmasters until November 25.
  • Yesterday at the Whitney, Toyin Ojih Odutola opened her first solo exhibition. This exhibit, titled To Wander Determined, is comprised of large scale portrait paintings of fictional characters imagined by Odutola herself. According to the exhibit description, “Highly attentive to detail and the nuances of space, class, and color—whether of palette or skin—Ojih Odutola continues her examinations of narrative, authenticity, and representation.”

Wild astronaut man image from CUP Facebook Page

Oct

15

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Bwog sent Arts Editor Sarah Kinney and newly-appointed Bwog photographer (!!!) Aliya Schneider to cover Alpha Chi Omega’s Runway Warriors fashion show. They saw some cool fashion and got some cool photos. Yeah, you heard that right. Bwog is no longer just posting shitty iPhone photos anymore. Read on to get a glimpse at our new artistic prowess (and to read about the show, of course). 

Friday night, Alpha Chi Omega put on its fourth installment of Runway Warriors, a fashion show whose ticket sales and raffle bids raise money for three different organizations: the Joyful Heart Foundation, Womankind, and Sanctuary for Families. Alpha Chi’s national philanthropy Domestic Violence Awareness and Support, and that’s exactly what these three foundations support. This year’s event, guided by the theme Rise and the artistic direction of Sarah Lu (CC ’20), raised over $3,000.

To kick off the event, three sisters introduced speaker Gwen Wright, the Executive Director of the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence. Wright spoke about the critical work her office does to protect women, and she even shared her own story of being a domestic violence survivor. Evoking this year’s theme of Rise, Wright discussed how important it is to lift up survivors and remind them that they have the strength to rise above it all.

After Wright’s speech, the fashion show began. Over 30 models showcased clothes from five different clothing lines—Meg, M. Martin, We Are Mortals, Grana, and Stella & Dot. Every model was a Columbia student volunteer, but that didn’t stop them from looking professional and stunning as hell as they hit the runway (in Roone Auditorium, that is). The creative and unexpected makeup design by Bailey Prado further enhanced the elegance of the show. Everything from the lighting to the music to the models’ engaging use of space truly made the show an exciting, interactive experience.

In between the three separate waves of models were two incredible student performers: Abigail Eberts on pointe and Camille Allen singing acapella. Both women owned the stage and captivated the audience with their talent. This year’s show was all about empowering women, and Eberts’ and Allen’s performances embodied that theme.

All together, this year’s Runway Warriors show was an impressive celebration of female empowerment. It was refreshing to watch my peers own the runway—people of all shapes and sizes and backgrounds. In an industry that can often be very cut-throat and exclusive, Runway Warriors turned fashion into something accessible for everybody.

Oct

15

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This is your brain on drugs. And by drugs we mean music.

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On campus:

  • This Tuesday at the Miller Theatre, check out a conversation between the Wallach Art Gallery’s director and chief curator Deborah Cullen and celebrated Colombian-American artist Lina Puerta. Puerta will be discussing her new installation in the Miller Theatre lobby which is inspired by the constant battle between humans and nature. The event is free with registration and there will be refreshments served after.
  • Wednesday night up at the Lenfest Center for the Arts is an immersive reading of the poetry of Max Ritvo. Ritvo was a Columbia alum who graduated in 2016, and the reading will feature poems from his 2016 book Four Reincarnations. 
  • Thursday afternoon starting at 4:15, the Columbia Italian Academy is hosting a panel discussion titled Music and Meaning: Seminars in Society and NeuroscienceThe panel will be discussing the powerful impact music has on both the brain and society. The event is free, but registration is required.

Off campus:

  • Currently at the New York Historical Society is an exhibit showcasing the work of Polish artist and activist Arthur Szyk. The name of the exhibit, Soldier in Art, evokes the aim of Szyk’s early-mid 20th century art: fighting the oppressive powers that be and protecting civil and human rights. Museum admission starts at $6.
  • On Wednesday from 4 to 8pm is an open house event for the Self Taught Genius Gallery at the American Folk Art Museum. The open house will feature a tour of the gallery lead by a museum curator. The gallery is meant to showcase American folk artists who have worked outside the realm of what may be considered “traditional.” The event is free with RSVP, and there will be refreshments (read: wine).

Image via Clipartsgram

Oct

7

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We love Night Market!

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On Campus

  • Love performing arts and looking to broaden your horizons? Then stop by Prentis Hall room 101 on Tuesday at 4 pm for Swallowing and Spitting History, a workshop exploring contemporary and experimental practices in Japanese performing arts. The event is free, but make sure to register here.
  • Sometimes we undergrads forget that graduate students at the Columbia School of the Arts are often putting on incredible shows all over campus. This Wednesday through Saturday, check out Acting Thesis: The Seagull in the flexible performance space at the Lenfast Center for the Arts. The show reinterprets Chekhov’s famous play with a modern twist.
  • This Thursday, head on over to the Maison Française to check out the newest film screening in their Cinema of Resistance series, Tahrir: Liberation SquareThis 90 minute film portrays the lives of individuals involved in modern resistance movements in Egypt. After the film there will be a panel discussion with the director, Stefano Savona.
  • Friday night is Night Market, Columbia’s famous fall event where students transform Low Plaza into a dazzling East Asian Night Market! This year’s festival will feature performances by CU Generation, Columbia Wushu, and Columbia Raas. Starting at 6 pm, head over to eat some delicious food and watch some incredible shows!

Off Campus

  • Thursday night from 6-8 pm is Free College Night at the Morgan Library and Museum! Explore the museum and have personal conversations with the staff, even get a chance to make some of your own sketches with Drawing New York. The event is free, but they request you RSVP online.
  • Also on Thursday is the opening of Ai WeiWei’s much anticipated NYC public art installation, Good Fences Make Good Neighbors. The exhibit consists of numerous large-scale public art installations all around the city, from Washington Square park to Cooper Union to Central Park. With his installations, Ai WeiWei is exploring the current migration crises happening all over the world. Read more about the exhibit here, as well as find out where all the art pieces are located.

Night Market poster via their Facebook event

Sep

30

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Artists from Italy, India, and more this week!

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On campus:

  • Monday night at Miller Theatre, Arthur Mitchell—the first African American lead dancer for the New York City Ballet and founder of the Dance Theatre of Harlem—is directing a show featuring dozens of professional dancers. The show will highlight Mitchell’s commitment and contributions to the world of dance. You can read more about the event, and how to get tickets, here.
  • Tuesday night, the Italian Academy is hosting the Momenta Quartet, a NYC-based string quartet that combines classical Italian music with the work of contemporary composers. The event is free, but register for your spot here!
  • On Wednesday night at 7:00 pm, the Glicker-Milstein Theatre is hosting Mallika Sarabhai—one of the most successful dancers and choreographers India has ever seen. She’s the founder of Darpana Dance company, AND she has a PhD in organizational behavior. Seating is first-come, first-serve to enjoy this incredible talk and demonstration.
  • This Friday is opening night for Revolt, Defiance, and Resistance in Prints!, a new exhibit of prints at the School of the Arts’ LeRoy Neiman Gallery. These prints are from a selection of diverse artists who all use printmaking as a way to challenge the status quo and resist oppression. The reception starts at 5 pm.

Off campus:

  • The Studio Museum of Harlem, just a few blocks away at 124th and Clayton Powell (right by the  125th 2-3 station), is currently hosting an exhibit titled FictionsThe exhibit showcases work from dozens of African American artists all over the US, discovering what black culture looks, feels, and sounds like to them. The show features countless mediums, from photographs to sculptures to video. The museum is free with your CUID.
  • If you’re one of those people in knitting club who sits in Lerner 510 right before our meetings every week, then this event may be for you: The American Folk Art Museum just opened an exhibit featuring quilts made out of British military uniforms. Each quilt brings together hundreds of small pieces of fabric into one beautiful design, representing how so many lives become interwoven in the face of war. The museum is even in the upper west side on W67th and Columbus (and admission is free).

Image via Wikimedia Commons

Sep

30

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You fucked it up, Pulitzer.

Did you know that every seven seconds, someone drops out of Columbia? Did you also know that I just completely made up that statistic? But imagine dropping out of Columbia, then a few years later receiving a Columbia diploma in the mail like you never even left. This I didn’t make up. It’s a true story, one that happened to the one and only Leah Finnegan

I met Leah last year at a Young Media Weekend event in a swanky SoHo loft put on by our dear friends at NYU Local. The event was a panel discussion featuring prominent young writers in NYC who work for nontraditional media sites—places like Bwog, but a thousand times more legit. Leah currently works for The Outline as Features Editor. During the discussion, Leah casually mentioned the fact that she attended the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism back in ’09, but that she dropped out after a few semesters to accept a job at Huffington Post. But, in the spring of 2011, an odd letter showed up at her parents’ house.

It was a fucking diploma from Columbia. The administration screwed up so badly that they literally sent a diploma to someone who didn’t graduate.

Read more to find out what happened.

Sep

23

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Get off campus this week! We believe in you!

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On Campus: 

  • Monday night from 7 to 8:30, stop on by the Diana Center for Here/Say: Framing, Part 1 [Classification]. Here/Say is a conversation series where students can discuss the relationship between art and current events. This is the first discussion of the series.
  • Head on over to the Maison Française on Tuesday night for a screening and discussion of Façade: 209 rue Saint Maur. This film, directed by Ruth Zylberman, documents the lives of generations of tenants in the same apartment building.
  • Thursday night at 8 pm is the opening night of Bach + Glass at Miller Theatre. A Far Cry, an orchestra from Boston, will be playing the music of composer Philip Glass while accompanied by Simone Dinnerstein.

Off Campus: 

  • The Columbia Arts Initiative is launching a new series of events titled Columbia Nights. These sessions give Columbia students the chance to visit various art exhibits and plays across the city, then sit down with the artist themself after. The first event is M. Butterfly on October 19, but tickets go on sale starting this Friday at 1 pm at the TIC.
  • This Wednesday night is Tribeca Art & Culture Night, a community art festival that happens every season. Head on down (after you RSVP) and explore dozens of local artists and designers.
  • Rodin is at the Met! This special exhibit will be there throughout the end of the semester, but go visit sometime soon and enjoy the weather in Central Park. Bwog tip: take the 1 down to 86, stop at Milk Bar on Columbus and 87, then walk through Central Park and go to the Met.

Photo via Bwog Staff

Sep

21

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I’ll have the cava, please.

When most Columbia students hear the word “CAVA,” they immediately conjure up images of drunken freshman passing out in Carman. But not every call to CAVA is for a late night rescue! Sometimes, people at Columbia actually fuck up (while sober) and need some legit help. Here’s a brainstorm of some obscure injuries that might call for CAVA (not that I’ve experienced any of these…)

Falling down the stairs.

This one is real, y’all. One day you’re racing down the steep, uneven steps of your brownstone on your way to your 2:40 and then BAM! You trip and fall on your ass, bouncing thud thud thud down the stairs. Before you know it, you’re being hauled onto a stretcher and sent away to St. Luke’s where you’ll get an xray of your ass. It’ll be super painful and super embarrassing, but at least you avoided the ambulance fee if you would have just called 911.

Tripping on Low Plaza.

Ahh, another beautiful day at Columbia! It’s the late afternoon and students are crowding Low Steps enjoying the sunshine. From a distance you hear Bodak Yellow playing from someone’s speakers, and when you look toward Alma, your friends wave you over. As you skip in excitement to join in on the fun, all of a sudden SPLATYou’re on the ground. Twisted ankle. Bruised knees. Everybody stops and stares (even that fucking feet-bottle-throwing guy). A few minutes later and you see that familiar CAVA truck come scuttling down College Walk to your rescue. Note to self: walk slower next time.

More embarrassing injuries after the jump

Sep

16

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Maybe this week you’ll get to actually explore Morningside Park, instead of just drunkenly staring at it from an 18th floor EC window.

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On campus: 

  • This Friday, the Maison Française is hosting The Hear and Now: An Unorthodox Concert Experience. This event, starting at 7:30 pm and free with RSVP, showcases student work in the realm of music, sound arts, choreography, electronics, and more.
  • This Monday, starting at 7 pm in the Sulzberger Parlor, The Heyman Center for Humanities is hosting Women Poets at Barnard. Donna Masini, Sharon Olds, and Brittany Perham will be there discussing and exploring their new poetry.
  • Also this Monday, at 6:30 pm in Avery Hall, GSAPP is presenting a lecture by Meng Yan, the Principal in charge of Design at Urbanus. Urbanus is a progressive architectural firm in China that aims to solve urban problems through creative and efficient architecture.

In the neighborhood: 

  • It’s time for every MoHi resident’s favorite time of the year, Morningside Lights! This year’s theme is Secret Gardens, illuminating the history of and love for MoHi’s beautiful parks. Stop by Miller Theatre during the week to help construct a lantern, then join the procession through Morningside Park next Saturday starting at 8 pm.

Off campus:

  • The Studio Museum in Harlem is currently presenting Their Own Harlemsa tribute to artist Jacob Lawrence during the 100th anniversary of his birth year. The exhibition showcases art by over 15 different artists as they explore what it means to traverse through the city, each person’s journey distinctly their own.
  • Head on down to the MoMA PS1 gallery in Queens to see Ian Chengs’ Emissaries, a three-part live work created using a video game platform. The exhibition explores the open-endedness of the human experience as we all live through chaotic events together. But make sure to stop by soon, this exhibit closes on September 24!

Morningside pic via Wikipedia

Sep

13

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No Columbia boys allowed. (JUST KIDDING)

Good morning, Columbia! Hopefully by now all your classes are getting a bit more settled and you’re starting to (somewhat) get your shit together. But if not, then it’ll happen soon… hopefully. Regardless, here’s today’s Bwoglines.

Happening in the nation: People living in the Caribbean are now dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Irma; they’re currently facing a dire shortage of food and water. Here’s how you can help.

Happening in NYC: Incumbent Mayor Bill de Blasio won the Democratic primary last night for this year’s mayoral election with an overwhelming 74.6% of votes.

Happening on campus: Tonight from 7:30 to 8:30 pm in Roone Auditorium is the Community Impact Open House. Stop by to explore the plethora of volunteer service clubs at Columbia that are dedicated to giving back to Morningside Heights. There will also be pizza!

Overheard in Diana: “Wait, are you sure I’m allowed to be in here?” -a Columbia boy.

Check out this video of Jenny Slate talking about smoking weed at Columbia. 

 

The Diana Center via Barnard

Sep

11

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img September 11, 20174:44 pmimg 1 Comments

Where you’ll inevitably get into a drunken fight with your froomie.

Now that we’ve all been back on campus for a few weeks, roommate troubles are starting to become apparent (how’s that ten person suite, Carman?). You don’t get along, your room is constantly sticky, and their taste in music sucks. Here’s some advice on what to do if you hate your roommate. 

  • Steal those red velvet walkway dividers from the Lerner ramp outside Ferris. Put them up in the middle of your room so that there is a clear divide between your side of the room and theirs.
  • Cover all your furniture in plastic wrap like old people. That way, when your roommate pukes all over your bed, it’s easy cleanup.
  • Passive aggressively always leave the door open whenever you leave the room instead of closing it behind you. Tell your roommate it’s because you’re just trying to create a more open atmosphere in your suite.
  • Keep using their shampoo. It’s your way of milking off them while still keeping it (somewhat) discreet.
  • Get a significant other so that you can just spend the night at their place. Then come back every morning at 8 am and loudly rummage through your drawers before taking a really long shower where you use all the hot water.
  • Listen to music on your headphones so as not to disturb your roommate. But, don’t forget to turn the volume all the way up so they can still hear the twangy rumblings of your Spotify Daily Mix 2 as they try to fall asleep.
  • Label everything, so that they don’t try to steal your stuff. Simply take a Sharpie and write “MINE” on every single one of your possessions.
  • Study at really odd hours of the day. Insist on turning on the lamp at 4 am so you can catch up on the Odyssey. Maybe this will persuade your roommate to just give you their notes instead so you can turn the damn light off and they can go the fuck to sleep.
  • Never replace the toilet paper roll in the bathroom. Just leave the new roll propped up on the empty toilet paper holder. This will assert your dominance as The Worst.
  • Come back to the room super drunk at 2 am every single Friday night. Wake your roommate up by stumbling over everything and loudly puking in the bathroom. This way they’ll know how Fun™ you are.
  • Finally, if worst comes to worst, have an honest and open conversation with your roommate. Try to come up with compromises and solutions that are fair for both of you. Maybe even ask your RA for help mediating. This is the last resort!

Carman Hall it doesn’t get better via Columbia Housing

Sep

9

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Morningside Lights?

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

Since classes just started, there aren’t any student performances happening for a while. But don’t worry, you can still get your (free!) dose of arts anywhere you’d like…

On campus this week:

  • Meet at Low Library on Monday, September 11 for a guided historical tour of Columbia’s campus. You’ll learn about the stunning architecture and beautiful sculptures all over campus, and maybe even catch up on a few urban legends. Any and all are welcome!
  • Tuesday night at 6 pm is the opening of the Harriman Institute and the Durdy Bayramov Art Foundation’s new exhibit in the International Affairs Building. The exhibit, Through the Eyes of Durdy Bayramov: Turkmen Village Life, 1960–80s, showcases photographs of Bayramov’s life growing up in Turkmenistan.
  • Also Tuesday night is the Argus Quartet playing at Miller Theatre. Admission is free to see this world renowned string quartet on campus!
  • Frank Lloyd Wright is coming to Wallach Art Gallery! This new exhibit explores the connections between Wright and Harlem. It will be there until mid December, but head on over soon to be one of the first to see this incredible exhibit.

Downtown:

  • Starting on September 13, head on over to the Met Breuer to see Delirious, an exhibit exploring American, Latin American, and European artists. Admission is free with your CUID!
  • The Museum of the City of New York is opening an exhibit on aqueducts. Yes, you read that right. To Quench the Thirst of New Yorkers features letters and drawings from the time of the Croton Aqueduct’s construction. Admission is free with your CUID.

Coming up:

Cute lights pic via Columbia

Sep

8

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Fuck sticking to the status quo

For all you first years out there, the memories of high school are just a few months old. However, for the rest of us, those days seem long forgotten. So for those of you just arriving on campus who have yet to redefine yourselves, here’s a handy dandy guide to some cool clubs you should consider based on your high school stereotype. 

If you were a theater kid…

If you were a theater kid in high school, odds are you were extroverted, nerdy, loud, and artsy. Unfortunately, theater life at Columbia isn’t super impressive. Because of this (unless you sell out to the Varsity Show), try going for an acapella group or even Columbia University Sketch Show (CUSS). You can keep up that dramatic lifestyle while gaining a little bit of street cred.

If you were a sk8er kid…

Try showing up to an ADP party. Make sure you don’t forget your cigarettes. If my calculations are correct, you’ll fit right in. Your high school self will transition seamlessly into your college self, albeit with a heavier dose of imposter syndrome. You’ll spend most of your time in Brooklyn and start lying about where you’re actually from.

If you were a jock…

You miss Texas but are trying to act cool in the big city.  If you’re not already a football player, consider joining an intramural team. Also consider becoming a stoner, because those are the only fun kinds of athletes. Rush Kappa Delta Rho.

If you were a debate nerd…

Boy have we got the clubs for you! Join Columbia Debate. Columbia International Relations Council and Association (CIRCA). Or even Mock Trial. Buy a nicer suit, grab your encyclopedia, and get ready to make geopolitical problem solving your bitch. You will turn into a stronger, larger, and more capable version of your former self.

If you were in marching band…

Join CUMB. Enough said.

If you were that mysterious sexy outsider whom everybody secretly had a crush on…

You’re probably an incredible writer. You have a lot of personality but sometimes it lies below the surface. You have a very dry sense of humor that some people can’t handle, but you don’t really give a shit, because you know you’re funny. You’re too cool for your hometown and want to make it to New York someday. You should probably join Bwog.

Dance number image via E! Online

Sep

5

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img September 05, 201711:35 amimg 1 Comments

Bored teen at a laptop with his head in his hand

How we felt while copy-pasting Excel cells

Over the summer, many of us were out there putting in hours at some swanky internship or job that we thought would change our professional aspirations forever. But that wasn’t quite the reality. These positions were often boring, uninspiring, and tedious. Staff Writer Sarah Kinney compiled a list of just some of the ridiculous shit our bosses forced us to do this summer. 

Kids are good with technology, right?

  • Delete duplicate cells in spreadsheets.
  • Show my boss how to copy and paste.
  • Show my boss how to duplicate a document on Word.
  • Show my boss how to use Google translate.

Insincerity is the root of accomplishment

  • Write a piece about urban development in the Middle East only to be told that it wasn’t going to be published because it was too controversial.
  • Fill out really BS personality tests.
  • Take notes in meetings I didn’t understand.

This isn’t what I meant by “networking”

  • Create a definitive map of where everyone in the whole company sits on every floor.
  • Find people’s LinkedIn profiles​.
  • Call doctors to see if they accept medicare.

Menial physical labor

  • Highlight textbooks.
  • Walk fifteen minutes both ways to print things.
  • Print things on legal size paper.
  • Deliver cigars and salsa to members of Congress.
  • Fold papers.
  • Staple papers.
  • Put papers into folders.
  • Take papers out of folders.
  • Shred papers.

Our face when via Devin Stein (Creative Commons)

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