Author Archive

Jan

16

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img January 16, 20184:25 pmimg 5 Comments

Mmm whatcha say

If you’ve been living under a rock (or inside a concrete bunker) for the last few days, you may not have heard about the fake missile threat that was accidentally activated in Hawaii, prompting a notification on everyone’s phone. That got me thinking about how I would have no idea what to do in that scenario if I was on campus. Here’s what I came up with:

Burn your LitHum books on Low Beach

In the last few minutes of existence as a body and not as a dust of microscopic particles, it’s always best to give in to the most animalistic of human urges. A good ol’ fashioned book burning is always fun, so show the cisheteronormative patriarchal core how you really feel about its bullshit. Leave Sappho out of it, though.

Get lit with your professor in office hours

Societal structure always breaks down in apocalyptic scenarios; therefore, there’s nothing stopping you from partying away your last few minutes with your favorite professor or your favorite TA. Choose your playlist wisely, you don’t want to spend your last time on earth listening to Ed Sheeran.

Actually find shelter, if you want to fight off radioactive zombies

Look, I just don’t have the work ethic to survive in a post-apocalyptic environment; some days I’m too lazy to literally take an elevator downstairs and eat food that’s just waiting out on a table. But, if you think you have a shot, maybe try prying open some of the doors to the hidden tunnels or figuring out how to get to the Manhattan Project levels beneath Pupin. Athletes, beautiful people, Walking Dead fans: I suggest this option.

Binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix at 863x speeds

There’s 301 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, with each being around 43 minutes long. Therefore, in order to watch them all in 15 minutes, you’d have to speed each of them up to 863 times their normal speed. So experience love, loss, grief, and… doctor stuff, I guess, in the time you have left. (Author’s note: I have never seen an episode of Grey’s Anatomy)

Grab the nearest person and head to the Butler stacks

You gotta. Enough said.

 

Jan

16

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img January 16, 20181:39 pmimg 0 Comments

Now that’s one hot TA.

In the beginning, there was class. Out of the chaos, professors materialized and said ridiculous things in order to keep your attention. Like the Greek myths of old, a professor’s opening lecture is meant to enthrall you and make you believe in something larger than yourself. However, unlike those Greek myths, these opening remarks were probably contemplated over a Panda Express tray rather than delicately crafted through centuries of oral tradition.

Bwog wants to know all the delightfully weird remarks that professors throw out during syllabus week, from red flags to random anecdotes. Send them in to tips@bwog.com, or carve them into the would-be marble of the comments section below.

Jan

16

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img January 16, 20189:52 amimg 1 Comments

It’s the spring semester! Remember this image when your ears are frozen and you’re praying for sun.

Happening Around The World: Danish inventor Peter Madsen has been charged with the murder of Kim Wall, a journalist and Columbia Journalism School alumnus. (CNN)

Happening In The US: Two of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s children spoke out against President Trump, who has claimed to be “the least racist person you have ever interviewed.” (New York Times)

Happening In NYC: If you’ve been craving the taste of forearm-salt, you’re in luck because beloved Internet meme Salt Bae, real name Nusret Gokce, has opened a steakhouse in NYC. (NBC)

Happening At Columbia: Good luck to everyone on their first day of spring semester classes today!

Bop of the Day: 

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Dec

20

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img December 20, 20175:24 pmimg 3 Comments

Pictured: The Perfect Specimen (See? Jenny isn’t the only Shitty Photoshopper on Bwog!)

I’ve been through a lot with my laptop: endless Netflix binges and college applications, unfortunate spills and learning new skills. The laptop is the extension of the self, and your choice in decoration says more about you than your search history. Here’s what your laptop stickers say about you. 

No Decoration

If your laptop isn’t decorated at all, it can mean a few things. Maybe you’re waiting to settle down with the right sticker. Maybe you’re just a fan of brutalism (hopefully not). Maybe you just see a laptop as a cold, austere machine not deserving of human love. In any case, you probably need to spend less time on schoolwork and get out more. The world is waiting for you to paint it with your own colors, just as your laptop is waiting for you to decorate it. Also, this isn’t your laptop. You took the wrong one when you left Butler at 4 am last night.

Stickers From Startups/Corporations

What up, my blockchain! It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to synergy with you. Free markets. Anyway, if you’ve got a lot of Y-Combinastic stickers on your laptop, it probably means you’re a tech- or business-oriented youngster waiting to take out your Tesla and take on the world. The humanities are garbage. VC you on the flippity-flop!

Body-Wide Cover, Especially The Ones With A Marble Or Wood Texture

Ugh, sorry you had to read that STEM part. As a distinguished scholar of the humanities, you balk at the idea of gaudy decorations like the ones on Achilleus’s shield and instead go for a more refined, yet unique look, the kind that makes other people say “I’ll have a Venti Macchiato, please.” Keep working on your novel!

Body-Wide Cover With Stickers Underneath

Barista in the streets, freak in the sheets.

Politics/Media Stickers

Because it’s not enough that you mention [Hillary Clinton/Bernie Sanders/Donald Trump/Your Local Congressperson Or State Representative] to your friends both online and off every five seconds during election season, you deserve to immortalize your devotion and broadcast it to the world. You didn’t phonebank as much as you could’ve, but I’m sure the $5 from that sticker purchase went much further in the hands of those Russian agents. Every vote counts!

Pop Culture

Woah, you watch The Office too? It’s like my favorite show! Prison Mike, am I right? Haha. Just a Jim looking for my Pam. Central Perk! I’m such an April but I wish I was a Leslie when it came to schoolwork! This choice of decoration is legen…wait for it… dary! These are all substitutes for a personality! Save me! Please save me! Note: We do not want to read your fanfic. 

Fuck Spec Sticker

You are the epitome of desirability. You downloaded Tinder once but your phone literally overheated from the number of matches rolling in. You never have to search for a seat in Butler, people nearly trip over themselves giving you prime real estate. Whenever you walk by the farmers’ market on Broadway, free samples are literally hurled at your head. Does it take a lot of effort being that effortlessly perfect?

 

Dec

15

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img December 15, 20179:07 pmimg 1 Comments

I guess these turtles are getting all the way down.

Ah, 2017. It’s been an amazing twelve years since the start of 2016, so to celebrate this impossibly long year, we at Bwog decided to give out awards every Friday until the new year. Our first installment, which you should totally check out, was the Top Ten Best Worst Comments. This time, we’re taking a look back at the best titles for the best daily post everyone loves to ignore, Bwoglines!

Is Bobsled Short For Robertsled Edition

There Is No Essence, Just A Bunch Of Turtles Edition

Trump Fiddled While New York Burned Edition

Hey Man, Rush Beta Edition

Our Brains Are Fried But We’re Happy To Be Here Edition

Taxes, Easter, And Homosexual Tendencies Edition

Everything Is Shit, But We Know That Already Edition

Comme Des Hell Down Edition

Power, Pantsuits And Puerto Rico Edition

Let’s Just Make It To The End Edition

 

Dec

15

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img December 15, 20175:14 pmimg 2 Comments

Let us know which album defined your semester in the comments!

The Bwog Staff discusses the albums that defined their semester. For some of us, it was our first semester on campus adjusting to the frantic pace of city life. For others, they were celebrating some of their last time on campus. We hope you enjoy our selections.

Jenny Zhu
Lorde’s Melodrama. Do I even need to explain??? Pure pop perfection. Lorde has this magical quality that makes the album colorful, witty, and youthful at the same time.

Victoria Arancio
Broods, Conscious. I saw them at the meadows this year and I really liked their set. I listened to them more as semester continued. They’re really good for a chill night in your dorm, or if you’re wanting to feel a lot of emotions.

More albums after the jump!

Dec

15

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img December 15, 201710:10 amimg 0 Comments

Wheee large corporate mergers can be fun!

Bwogline: With all the drama of the vote to repeal net neutrality protections yesterday, you may have missed the news that Disney bought most of 21st Century Fox for a cool $52.4 billion in stock. Hopefully, antitrust regulators aren’t distracted by the fact that Anastasia is now a Disney Princess and stop the deal that many see as Hollywood becoming too much under the control of a few giants.

Study Tip: If you’re having trouble concentrating for long periods at a time, I’m a fan of this chrome extension which uses the Pomodoro technique of scheduling short breaks and long breaks to maximize your productivity.

Music: 

Procrastination Tip: If you’re a fan of flash games and absurdist humor, try out Frog Fractions. If you need a hint on how to progress, swim down. Enjoy!

Overseen: 

Just like wet concrete, only colder and more ephemeral.

Dec

13

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img December 13, 20175:35 pmimg 0 Comments

Rare photo of Carman residents on their way to Butler, 2017 (colorized).

It’s finals week, which means four things: Eat, Sleep, Study, Repeat. However, there are a few key ways to free up time during your few moments of leisure and/or personal hygiene. Here are our top ideas.

1. Use bathroom hand dryers to dry your hair.

Hey, no shame. While the precise angle can be tough to nail (trust me, I know from personal experience,) those precious few seconds that the high-intensity blasts of air buy you can make the difference between remembering that crucial formula or flunking completely.

2. Why watch Khan Academy or listen to a podcast instead of studying… when you can do all three?

Knowledge is power. Therefore, three times as much knowledge at once equals three times as much power! Maximize your studying potential by utilizing different modes of studying, such as watching videos on Orgo while listening to an audiobook of The Aeneid and reading about high-order differential equations! For a fun challenge, do all three while on the treadmill at Butler. That’ll get those brain cells sweating!

3. Rappel down the side of your dorm.

I live in John Jay. The elevators are fine… unless it’s the one time you need them. Save time instead of waiting for the elevators or rushing down the staircase: just whip out the Columbia Housing carabiners and high-tensile rope that they handed out during Welcome Week and shimmy down the side of your dorm. That Latin vocabulary isn’t going to study itself!

4. Smuggle your textbook into a different final.

Look, I know you want to maximize your time during your calc final checking your sequences for convergence, but that doesn’t mean that you should take time off of studying the effects of quantitative easing for Intermediate Macro! A good tip is to wear enough coats so that the added bulk of your Econ textbook is hidden beneath the folds and study while taking the math final! You have no time to waste!

5. Disrupt the fabric of time and space itself.

You can do it, as long as you went to every single FroSci lecture.

 

Dec

8

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img December 08, 20177:37 pmimg 1 Comments

Ah, 2017. It’s been an amazing twelve years since the start of 2016, so to celebrate this impossibly long year, we at Bwog decided to give out awards every Friday until the new year. Our first installment: Top Ten Best Worst Comments. These are the comments which were the actual worst, but never failed to make us smile. Ranking these would be as useless as these comments, so just enjoy the gallery.

Dec

8

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img December 08, 20179:55 amimg 0 Comments

California is literally on fire but it doesn’t matter because we’re all about to be overrun by drunk Santas.

Happening Around The World: Same-sex marriage has been officially legalized in Australia! The online registry form also includes an ‘x’ option for gender, for “indeterminate, intersex or unspecified.” (NY Daily News)

Happening In The US: Minnesota Senator Al Franken announced in a speech on the Senate floor that he would be retiring after allegations of groping and improper advances. He took parting shots at Roy Moore and Donald Trump, both of whom have the near-complete backing of their party despite worse allegations. (NYT)

Happening In NYC: If you at all have the option of taking refuge outside Manhattan, preferably in a local bomb shelter, you should because this Saturday is SantaCon. Herds of drunken Santas will be roaming the bars and streets of the city in a nightmare which I’m sure Stephen King thought up, but decided against writing about because it’d be too scary. (Curbed)

Happening At Columbia: Orchesis is presenting their show, “Love is an Open DoORCHESIS” tonight in Roone Auditorium at 8:30 and 10:30. Check out our reviews of prior Orchesis events here, and we hope to see you there.

Bop of the Day: 

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Dec

2

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img December 02, 201710:01 amimg 1 Comments

*Squeak!* The tax bill will make it much less affordable to attend grad school, a huge blow in the Republican war against intellectualism. *Squeak!*

Happening in the World: Protests in Honduras over what many citizens see as a fraudulent vote count in their presidential election have escalated into violence, prompting the sitting President to impose a curfew. Anyone found outside between 6 am and 6 pm could be arrested. (NYT)

Happening in the US: Senate Republicans have passed a 479-page tax bill with illegible handwritten notes that was finalized just hours before the final vote. The bill adds nearly a trillion and a half dollars to the deficit by 2018 and includes many provisions that disproportionately affect the rich, like a tax break for private jet ownership. (NYT)

Happening in NYC: A Fordham graduate student sequenced the genomes of rats from uptown and downtown and discovered significant genetic differences between them. He still has 200 frozen rat tails in a freezer somewhere, yet to be sequenced. (The Atlantic)

Happening on Campus: Today is your last chance to see Cold Whole Milk, NOMADS’s Fall 2017 Main Stage production, written and directed by Sarah Billings (BC ’18). Check it out!

Bop of the Day: 

Dec

1

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img December 01, 20173:00 pmimg 0 Comments

An Econ student, probably, hard at work on his Gulati problem set (2017, Colorized).

If you’ve crawled out of Butler isolation recently to check the news, you might have seen this rather interesting in-depth NYT profile of an American Nazi. In fact, the article inspired us here at Bwog to take a deeper look into one of the everyday faces of Columbia University: a Columbia Econ major. Bwogger Zack Abrams investigates

Eric Johnson arrived at Columbia University this fall. He got in early. On his shopping list were a Canada Goose jacket, a lint brush, and a set of sharpened pencils.

Ms. Johnson, his mother, was worried about activist groups protesting his arrival. Going to college is hard enough to plan when your son is not an expected econ major.

But Eric, in the days leading up to his arrival, was somewhat less anxious. There are times when it can feel toxic to openly identify as a center-right economist in the Columbia of 2017. But not always. He said the election of President Trump helped open a space for people like him, demonstrating that it is not the end of the world to be attacked as the free-market idealist he surely is: “You can just say, ‘Yeah, so?’ And move on.”

It was a weeknight at the local steakhouse in Scarsdale, a town in Westchester, a few weeks before move-in day. The Johnsons were shoulder to shoulder at a table, a family in love. He was in a gold-buttoned blazer, she in a Moncler puffer. She ordered the salmon. The going-away party would be small. Some of Ms. Johnson’s friends were going to be there. “A lot of girls are not really into the writings of Keynes,” she said.

At Columbia, amid the manicured lawns and vaping students, the pizza places and Shake Shacks, Mr. Johnson’s presence can make hardly a ripple.

Nov

29

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img November 29, 20172:15 pmimg 0 Comments

The man behind the screen

If you’ve ever had the absolute pleasure of reading Spectator op-eds, first of all, you and your loved ones may be entitled to financial compensation. Second of all, you may recognize the profile of Man With Axe, a frequent commenter with conservative viewpoints. When I went to his Disqus profile, I realized that he comments on many other college newspapers and blogs. So, I reached out to Man With Axe over email to talk about internet comment culture, the protection of anonymity, and the politics of college students. Some questions were omitted for conciseness. 

Bwog: Tell me about yourself. Are you currently a college student? Where are you studying / did you study? What are you studying / did you study?

Man With Axe: I was a college professor for 31 years, now retired. I have degrees in history, law, and business administration. My undergrad was from an Ivy school and my graduate degrees were from another highly ranked private university.

Bwog: You comment on just about every major campus publication. What are your favorites and least favorites?

MWA: My favorites are the Ivies, Stanford, Duke, and some of the major state universities, such as Michigan, Berkeley, Maryland, Texas, UNC, and Virginia. The only negative thing I would say about some schools is that they rarely print anything. For example, Ohio State doesn’t do much.

Bwog: Your comments usually come from a conservative social and political perspective. Why do you think fewer op-eds from college websites come from a conservative perspective? Is this an issue?

MWA: The fact that so few op-eds are written from a conservative perspective is why I comment as much as I do. I spent my life with college students, and I’m very interested in what they are thinking. I’m troubled to discover that they are receiving a partial education from their virtually all-progressive faculty. They seem to come to college already hell-bent on being progressive activists, and they don’t seem to realize that half the country disagrees with them. Or, perhaps they do realize it, but they believe that the half that thinks differently are all evil and/or stupid. And they thought this before the rise of Trump. This belief that the other side is evil leads them to adopt anti-free speech positions, to believe that violence is justified to silence their enemies. And then they go out and demonstrate these beliefs. “Your speech is violence, and my violence is speech.”

More ManWithAxe !

Nov

17

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img November 17, 201710:00 amimg 2 Comments

We’ve come a long way since… whatever this is.

Happening Around The World: The Nigerian women’s bobsled team is heading to the 2018 Winter Olympics after crowdfunding $75,000 for their Olympic bid and qualifying over several races. Feel free to make as many Cool Runnings jokes as you want in the comments. (ABC News)

Happening In The US: Minnesota Senator Al Franken has apologized after a photo surfaced of him groping a sleeping woman’s breasts, along with a testimonial by that woman about how Franken forcibly kissed her. He is now facing bipartisan calls for an ethics investigation. (Washington Post)

Happening In NYC: A 30-year-old Australian diplomat has fallen to his death off a Lower East Side apartment during a “trust game” while celebrating the ‘yes’ vote in Australia towards marriage equality. (New York Times)

Happening At Columbia: Today is the Day of Data! Come by Lerner today for a variety of panels, workshops, and events. I’m especially excited for “Data Driven Journalism,” which has two panelists from Buzzfeed!

Overheard: “You know there’s a guy with a very similar style to you… I think it’s because you both use drugs”

Bop of the Day:

Nov

10

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img November 10, 20172:42 pmimg 0 Comments

The very well-designed poster for the event.

Last night, Daily Editor Zack Abrams attended ISERP’s – the Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy – event called “Coming to Terms with a Polarized Society: Professional Journalism, Polarization, Post-Truth, & Post-Trump.” What a mouthful. His review:

If you’ve been alive for the past two years or so, you’re probably aware of the many complaints against the media being lobbed by all sides, including the Executive Branch. Political polarization, or simply the idea that partisanship is driving people to surround themselves with supporting views instead of exposing themselves to the other side, is at an all-time high among college first-years. Many see the media as having a hand in this issue, especially as terms like “fake news” have become commonplace among discussions of politics and policy.

In this context, ISERP hosted Michael Schudson, a Columbia Journalism professor, to give a brief overview of how the media has handled objectivity and engaging with its consumers, while Leonard Downie, Jr. and Bill Keller, former Executive Editors of the Washington Post and the New York Times, respectively, provided commentary and answered questions from the attended guests.

Read about what went down below!

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