It takes two to copulate

In these times of trial and tribulation, we could all use a little lovin’— and a new service backed by Senior Week hopes to fulfill your long-overdue fantasies of commitment-less sexual encounters via the Internet!

CUScramble allows anyone with a UNI (not just class of 2013!) to submit up to 13 UNIs of Columbians they always wanted to tap but never got the chance to. Ok, fine, you can also ostensibly use it to have an innocent coffee meeting with that person from your CC class whose full opinion on Marx you never got the chance to hear…but let’s be real.

Whether it’s that cutie on the other side of the lecture hall or the best friend you’ve never made a move on, now is your chance to find love in the depth of this darkest night. Here’s how it works: you submit your list of 13 crushes missed acquaintances, and if someone whose UNI you submitted also submits your UNI, your mutual desire will be revealed to the other party. Only mutual submissions are revealed, so your unrequited love will not be awkwardly made public; but that means the service only works if a lot of people submit.

So, go forth and fuck make friends, you frustrated masses!

First comes love

We’re sure you’re counting down the hours until Valentine’s Day, but look no further, dear souls. Love is already all around us.

The Pentagon gets romantic. (NY Times)

Passion soars in Florida. (CBS)

Two entities collide. (KTLA)

A baby comes out of it all. (Washington Post)

S/he grows up in a truly new era. (USA Today, US News)

Bugs Bunny’s BFF via Shutterstock

It’s not about what’s inside this Furnald single, but what’s on the trippy whiteboard on the door. That is, a violent mishmash of radicalism, socialism, and Labour.

What do you make of this mix of brotherly love and mysterious movie references?

Little Cupid has cast his spell on us all.

Chinese students just love American colleges, especially Grinnell. It’s okay though, we’re not jealous. They love Barnard, too! (NYT)

It’s hard out here for NYC’s  single, successful women looking for love. There just aren’t enough men to go around! (City Room)

Eating more carrots, leafy greens, and other foods high in carotenoids can make others find you more lovable (read: sexy). We knew it was a good idea to add “Eat more fruits and veggies” to our list of New Year’s resolutions! (The Week)

Egyptians love life post-Mubarak, but it remains to be seen whether the new Supreme Council of the Armed Forces will share their love for democracy. (Al Jazeera, NYT)

Reports say that Julian Assange has fathered at least four love children, ranging in age between 6 months and 20 years old. Just when we thought Assange’s love life couldn’t get any weirder. (HuffPo, NYObserver)

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

In this week’s Cooking with Bwog, resident culinary expert and quasi-mixologist Matt Powell shows you how to make love potions for Valentine’s Day out of the two most potent aphrodisiacs known to man—chocolate and alcohol!

Like this, but chocolate and alcohol...and not in a heart-shaped bottle!

I may not be a mixologist, but I’ve always liked to experiment with different kinds of drink combinations. It probably all started when I was young. My mom would catch me mixing her good perfumes and expensive spices in a large pitcher… Let’s just say I’ve made some progress since then. At least my drinks are nontoxic now.

But seriously, these drinks would be perfect for your funny valentine. With a plenty of sweetness, they could be considered desserts in their own right. And they only take a split-second to make (as compared to the desserts from last week).

The Mephisto

Serves 2

In this drink Amaretto paired with strawberry ice cream to create a milkshake-like dessert.

Ingredients

• 8 scoops of Strawberry Ice Cream
• 1/4 C whole milk
• 1/3 C Amaretto
• 4 fresh strawberries, plus 2 for garnish

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sexy

True love may be foreign to The Blue and White, but the quest for it isn’t. Here we confess our hearts’ desires for the benefits of Columbia’s love-starved fops, aging professors, and resident perverts for whom the night has not yet been taken. Get inspired to submit your own personal!

Seeking Men

• Anthro major seeks significant otherness.
• Aspirational reporter seeks deepthroat.
• BBM me hard!
• You can’t capture my awesomeness in one line.
• Or two.
• Abstract theorist seeks something rock hard.
• Bleary-eyed in Butler, we sat at opposite side of the ref room rable. We downed Red Bull and HamDel at four in the morning, our fingers numb from typing. Your eyes met mine, and at that moment, I realized: You’ll do.
• 6, seeking 9

Seeking Women

• They call me the freshman fifteen, because I’ll make you feel insecure and unattractive.
• My dad’s in oil. You could be too.
• Let’s take this Gchat off the record.
• Like Narnia, but with sex.
• I’d like to put my 1 in your 0.
• DC native looking for below-the-Beltway traffic.
• Cunning linguist seeks… friendship.

Whatever I can get

• Uninhibited, wide-open, and robust.

Need a special something for that special someone on a special budget? Let Bwog’s chocolatier extraordinaire Matt Powell show you how to make sweets for your sweetheart!

Like this, but made by you!

We’re approaching that dreaded time of the year. It’s the most stressful time for a boyfriend— treating him/her to something special and out-of-the-ordinary, and of course finding the perfect gift that says everything.

You can always get flowers. Flowers say, “I forgot that it’s February 14^th, so I ran to Academy Floral and picked these up for you… and by the way, I love you.” Cue the cheesy smile.

Or you can get chocolate (“budget”= not both), because who doesn’t love chocolate? In my experience, it is always the best bet. Here are three of best chocolatey ways to say “I love you,” or at least, “I like like you, like, like like you.”

Homemade Truffles

(Makes 20-25 truffles)

Ingredients

• 10 oz. bittersweet chocolate, roughly chopped
• 1 C of heavy cream
• 1 tbsp. sugar
• 2 tbsp. butter
• 2 tbsp. of your favorite liqueur (Grand Marnier, Amaretto, Kahlua, Crème de Cassis)
• ¼ C cocoa powder

Image from Wikimedia Commons

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Bwog found this loving little outlet outside Davis Auditorium. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear that its love is returned. Such is the Columbia condition.

Hewitt loves you like a fat kid loves cake and wants you to love cake too.

Photo by Lily Keane

Columbia is for people who are in love! Bride and groom just kissed outside the Chapel as a bunch of 14-year-olds on skateboards whizzed passed. This is the center of the world!

Wedding-kids hanging out

Love! So says Wikimedia

It’s a beautiful day, Columbia!

“Its just about waking up next to someome, you know. By the end of this year, I’m either gonna have a girlfriend or a mental problem.”

IT IS COLUMBIA. Roar, Lion, roar!

Today on Daily Intel, we learned that there is a new website that makes the last 3,981 wedding announcements in the Times and made them into a database. Columbia has been mentioned 615 times. Browse and see if your TA married your other TA! Harvard had only 466 and Yale- Yale!- only 278! MIT is mentioned 663 times (shhh).

That means that a huge chunk of the important/rich/highly-aggressive people who get their wedding announcements in the Sunday Times are your fellow Columbians. Perhaps we spoke too soon against Floorcest.

Update: A commenter points out that “Columbia” also overlaps with British Columbia, and probably some other things mentioned in wedding announcements that aren’t actually about Columbia the school. Bwog remains certain that we beat Harvard, however.

Between Culpa, Bored@Butler, and that thing we can’t pronounce, we have a relatively wide selection of websites developed by Columbia students that provide services exclusively for Columbia students. Now, a new one has been released: I Saw You Columbia, a site for student missed connections. Sweet, sweet young lovers are asked to indicate where they saw their desired mate, and can write a short message to them. The site has only been running for a few days, but Bwog already has a favorite: Female spotting Male: Lit Hum class– “When our legs touch under the table it’s never an accident.”

Our doobie-sparking cousins to the North have their own version, as does Rutgers.

Go get ‘em, tigers.

Bwog’s Chief Romantic Messaging Tipster Jon Hill caught the following snow inscription on the benches outside of Low yesterday:

A mother escorting her teenaged daughter on a stroll down College Walk.

Mother: “Over there is Hamilton—it’s a classroom building. And that’s Butler, the big library.”
Daughter: “What’s that?” (points to sundial; they stop)
Mother: “That’s where I first met Dad.”