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Bacchanal 2017: A Survival Guide

While this school might be made up completely of alcoholics, they’re mostly of a certain kind — a bar-hopping, EC-hopping, nocturnal kind. As such, Bwog has compiled some advice for you as you plunge into the unknown — a pregame-in-the-morning-and-continue-to-drink-into-oblivion-while-listening-to-artists-you-don’t-really-know type of unknown.


  • Don’t go out. You’re going to want to feel rested tomorrow when you wake up at 8 A.M. to start drinking.
  • Put your jell-o shots and vodka gummies in the fridge to set overnight. A pregame favorite, and good for tricking yourself into thinking you’re not actually taking a shot at 10 in the morning.
  • Try to get some work done. You will absolutely be too hungover to do that econ pset on Sunday.
  • Listen to the performers’ music. You’re going to want to be able to drunkenly sing along. Luckily, we made a playlist for you:

Tomorrow morning:

  • Wake up early and eat a bagel. You’re going to want to load up on carbs for your day ahead. Drinking always starts early, so be sure you’re awake and eating before you have to go get your wristband. Nuss and Absolute while be mobbed, but there will also be bagels in all of the dorm lobbies.
  • Get dressed. You’re not going to have much time after picking up your wristband to get ready (the festivities will start immediately afterward), so get your outfit on before you head out. The high is in the mid-50s tomorrow, and it will be hot in the frats and in the crowd at the concert. We recommend you wear sneakers (the frats will be particularly gross), crop tops, and fanny packs.
  • Pick up your wristband at 9. CC and SEAS students can get their wristbands in front of Hamilton or Wien, and Barnard and GS students can get theirs in between Dodge and Lewisohn. The lines might be long, so (discreetly) bring a mimosa with you.
  • Stick with friends. Have fun, but make sure to keep your friends close. Don’t get separated, keep your phone on you (make sure it’s charged!), and keep an eye on how much you’re all drinking to ensure that everyone will make it to the concert later.
  • Don’t experiment. Take the advice of one Bwogger’s roommate: you don’t want to end up in bed and immobile during the concert because you decided it would be a good idea to try an edible for the first time.

During the concert:

  • Plan when you want to get there. The student act will go on at 12:30, so the main acts probably won’t be on until 3:30-ish. If you arrive earlier, you’ll have a better view of the performance, but may end up getting squished by the people behind you.
  • Drink water and pee beforehand. You can’t bring water into the concert (but you’ll probably need it), and you’ll lose your spot in the crowd if you need to leave to pee. Make sure to chug water and use the bathroom beforehand.
  • Don’t try to bring too much into the concert. You’ll only need your phone and ID. It’s possible to sneak in mini bottles of alcohol (like in your bra or in the waist of your pants), but Public Safety will take them away if they’re in your fanny pack (yes, even the fake tampon containers). Also, DON’T drop your phone in the crowd. It’ll get trampled.
  • Don’t be fucking rude to the other people in the crowd. Don’t push, don’t elbow, don’t snap at people. We’re all excited, and we’re all trying to have a good time–no need to bring that competitive Columbia spirit into the only day of the year devoted to fun on this campus.

Bacchanal is supposed to be a fun event, so remember to stay safe and take care of each other. CAVA’s number is (212) 854-5555, and there will be water and food stations set up outside of the concert. Beyond that, don’t be rude to the people who help make the concert happen every year–like dorm security guards, concert security guards, dining hall workers, etc. You may be drunk, but it’s still inexcusable.

If you see any of us Bwoggers (we’ll probably have a “Fuck Spec” sticker on our phone case or something), be sure to say hi! We hope you all have a safe and fun time tomorrow.

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