Do you know the steps to sainthood? 

Politicians and athletes breaking records.

Like it says on the package, so much tension.

Now would be the time to escape to whatever fantasy life awaits on your Pinterest board.

Don’t hesitate to play ‘Supermassive Black Hole’ by Muse from the Twilight soundtrack for dramatic effect while reading this!

Today in things you probably didn’t want to hear about going badly: COVID-19 and the USPS

I don’t even know how 2020 is going to top this.

At this point, just throw the whole country away!

A big heaping bowl of death!

New Covid hotspots, a warp-speed judicial nomination, ancient pedestrians, and more!

Tensions, taxes, and translation are all in play on today’s Bwoglines.

Voting from space? More likely than you think!

Today’s Bwoglines bring you an unexpected, unprecedented apology, as well as expected, unsubstantiated claims.

It’s Thursday, my dudes.