Barnard housing season has come to a close, whether you got the Sulz Single of your dreams, an okay Plimpton Suite, or got screwed over twice and ended up on the Guaranteed List, what happened, happened.

As we all know, Schermerhorn Hall is not a real place. Arts Editor and semiweekly DnD enthusiast Riva Weinstein offers a completely authentic and true account of her semester in the Extension.

If you love both Killing Eve and comparing Columbia’s dorms to random things, then you’re in the right place. I have taken it upon myself to procrastinate the work I should be doing to provide you with a certifiable list of comparisons between the assassinations on the show and a collection of campus dorms.

Newsletter Editor Eva Sher is VERY picky about her showers. And she has some questions for you shower daredevils out there.

Friday Daily Editor, Brigid Cromwell knows the only thing better than premarital sex is antibacterial soap.

We know that double life is hard (in more ways than one) but that doesn’t excuse this kind of behavior. Just follow these six simple rules and free us from our torment.

Betsy Ladyzhets’ towels have not been fully dry for several days.

This underclassman Bwogger reminisces about the good old days of Columbia, according to stories that she’s heard from upperclassmen.

Check out Bwog’s take on what the hell people are trying to communicate by strutting around campus wearing non-Columbia merch.

Leo, a Bwogger no stranger to calamity, takes you through another Columbia Horror Story set in….LERNER!

Staff Writer Owen Fitzgerald-Diaz reports on some troubling possibilities concerning Columbia’s statues.

In choosing a candidate for the upcoming election, look up natal charts and not policy. Senior Bwogger, Leo, has provided you with not only each candidate’s zodiac sign but their Myers Briggs’s Test Personality Type (MBTI), Hogwarts House as well as which Columbia Dorm they *likely* are. 

Bwog Staffer Julia U. is angered over elevator behavior, and you probably would agree too. 

Disclaimer: Don’t follow this advice if you don’t want your GPA to fall.

Ah, class registration time. If you haven’t filled up your schedule by now with requirements, congratulations on not being a STEM major! Here are some suggestions for classes taught by professors who’ve been around forever and really know their stuff, brought to you by the Bwog staff.